HO HO HO! Here comes Peng with his bag full of Challenges!

[MrSpkr]

(with apologies to Major Livingston)

"T'was the night before Peng, and all through the 'Pool
Not a creature was posting, except some young fool.
The Pooler's were gathered all down by the bar
Drinking and gambling and starting to spar.

The Scum Sucking Newbies were nowhere about
Why even the Serfs had all chickened out
Then Dame YK2 sat down in the hall
And began playing cards, taking winnings from all.

Geier and Andreas were both in the house
In front of them Hanns, behind them bauhaus
In the corner was Kitty right next to Fionn
They were torturing Hiram Sedai just for fun.

Alas Lorak was gone to the front for the fight,
To his honor and safety we toasted that night.
Moriarty threw darts at a picture of Meeks
While Croda played hearts with that Goanna geek.

Stuka and Iskander argued over liquor,
Herr Oberst watched shandorf get sicker and sicker
Panzer Leader was talking, though all were ignoring
His advice on defending, they found it quite boring.

When out in the swamp there arose such a clatter,
Peng sprang from the bar to see what was the matter.
Away to the window he flew like a flash,
Tore open the blinds and threw up on the sash.

The moon on the muck and the grime in the air
Glistened so brightly just like Joe Shaw's hair.
When what to our wandering eyes should appear
But a scum sucking newbie, his eyes wide with fear.

He said, "I am new here, would you guys like a game"
That minute I realized this boy was real lame.
More rapid than Mouse's posts his questions they came,
While he was surrounded by kniggets, here were their names:

"Hey Berli, and Lawyer and Seanachai too!
Hey Pawbroon Hey Leeo! Speedbump, who's behind you?"
All around him they gathered while his knees knocked with fear.
And I could tell he was wondering why he ever came here.

The knights snarled "Here's the Rules, you young little snot!
Sound off like you have a pair even if you do not!
Challenge somebody specific, and try to be funny,
That or just shut up and give us your money."

"Stay away from politics; religion's taboo.
Color and country are out of bounds too.
Thou shalt not sound off ABOUT your small pair
Lest the wrath of the Bald One fall down on our lair"

"Keep in mind, SSN, winning isn't the goal!
Taunting's the thing that we care for, you mole.
No grogginess here, except Simon Fox
The official 'Pool grog, that smelly dumb ox."

"Don't challenge an Olde One or even a Knight
They probably won't waste their time on your fight.
Pick out a newbie, or maybe a Squire
Then shove his face down in the muck and the mire."

"If you entertain us, we might let you stay
But probably not, so please, be on your way.
You see we are picky about whom we despise
Especially Berli, the father of lies."

Mace stood there grimly, smelling of sheep.
The stench was so bad that Lars started to weep.
OGSF lurched toward the lad then I heard
That mad Scotsman shouting "Ye poir dumb bastarrrd!"

The newbie spoke not, but sat down to think.
After fifteen short seconds, he stood and he blinked.
And laying a finger inside of his nose,
He pulled out some green thing he wiped on his toes.

He stared glassy-eyed at the knights all around,
And began to back up, 'til he tripped and fell down.
He had just pulled himself up from the slime and the goo
When Dalem leaned in and whispered softly, "Boo!"

The newbie ran to the door with a shriek and a shout!
He flung it wide open, and then he ran out.
And as his screams in the night grew faint and soft
I yelled "Merry Christmas, you scum! Now you all can SOD OFF!"

[ 12-22-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]</p>

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

Elvis is a wanker.

[Joe Shaw]

MrSpkr that was ... Beautiful man ... {sniff} ... I think I'm getting all teary eyed.

Joe

[jshandorf]

Wow, Spook, I always thought of you as a wart on the ass of society but after reading that creative intro to the pool I just might have to change my mind. (That's as close to a compliment any of you snotballs will get out of me.)

Oh and BTW, winning is everything.

Jeff

[Mace]

Yah, MrSpkr makes me cry all the time too.

Mace

[**YK2**]

HO HO HO INDEED
Has somebody Upset Seanacoochie then?
I can't be bothered scrolling through that last Peng Thread challenge to find out the details, Lets just say <blockquote>quote:</font><hr> "Sod Off Chef" <hr></blockquote> And be done with it.

SSN: But where is your Christmas Spirit YK2?
YK2: Bahhhhhhh Humbug.........
( Sit down Mace I said Humbug not Sheep)

****MERRY CHRISTMAS POOLERS****

[Edited to Add]

Welcome Home Croda and Hiram :D

[ 12-21-2001: Message edited by: YK2 ]</p>

[Priest]

Hey guys happy holidays.

[jshandorf]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Priest:
Hey guys happy holidays.<hr></blockquote>

May your holiday be filled with screaming children who have virus infected snot running down thier noses.

Merry Christmas buddy.

Jeff

[MrSpkr]

Awww shucks, guys.

BTW, if I left any of you maggots out of this outstanding bit of poetry, it's probably because I find you less interesting than watching grass grow or paint dry.

Swine.

[Croda]

Geez, Speaker, at least Emma had the wisdom to mention me in this thread.

Hi Emma!

[MrSpkr]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Croda:
Geez, Speaker, at least Emma had the wisdom to mention me in this thread.

Hi Emma!<hr></blockquote>

Read verse 4, then realize the only reason your mangy hide is in there is because I can appreciate Crodaburg on some visceral level.

[Speedy]

Oh no this thread is just to cheerful, I need another beer.

[Yeknodathon]

....huh, where's that Iron Chopper? Surely he hasn't posted AGAIN in the ladies cubicals when we're now in midgets' latrines?

Ooooooh, poetry of a middling sort:

....oooohh, ahhhhhhhh... ahuh.... yep oh, yes, yes.... hmmmmm.... gotcha....yep okaaaaaaay, got the picture.....

Newbie.... anyone 'ere a Newbie? Or a lowly Squirrel, ooops, silly, Squire

Right, no one? Okay.... improvise:

"Yo, Yeknodathon" (steps aside)

"Who hails me?" (steps back)

"It is me, silly ass" (steps again)

"Really, I wouldn't know" (ditto)

"I challenge thee, Newbie scum" (ditto)

"Challenge me? Foresooth, what the 'eck for? (ditto)

"Errrrr.... no matter, take gauntlet in the mush" (ditto)

"Why thanks, Yeknodathon, that wasn't so bad" (ditto)

"No, quite pleasing, really" (ditto)

Ho, hum, la-de-da......

Yeknod

[ 12-21-2001: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]</p>

[Joe Shaw]

Right then lads, I've another proposal to be added to the rules, comment appreciated:

{XVi.34/^}: No SSN shall be afforded any consideration until or unless they shall have a legitimate email address and general location in their profile.

The email is obvious, can't very well challenge without one and if they're not here to challenge to hell with 'em.

The general location is critical as well. They might be Australian and we CERTAINLY don't want any more of THAT TYPE!

This proposed addition to the rules can be phrased as wished, but I think it might be helpful in screening the riff-raff and trolls like Donkey-a-thon.

Joe

[Iron Chef Sakai]

Hi, it's your friendly neighborhood chef once again and for once here with a relevent question.

Whats your take on IP games? i prefer them to pbm, and with the chat option would leave the game more open to taunts and what not.

Just wondering so i don't waste an e-mail on someone who can't devote a couple hours to a game because it would take time away from their main hobby of arts and crafts.

i'm sure you can cross stich as good as anyone Stuka and good luck with that, we still like you, but for the last time stop asking me to go to Blue Oyster bar with you, i'm not interested.

[LGMB]

Soldiers,

Think I'll take another dip in the 'pool. I just loved that last romp of insults sooooooo much. Anyway: Merry Frikin' Christmas you bunch of worthless hamster truppen! WOOT!

[jshandorf]

Heh... taking a look above I have to wonder about the fact that you guys thought I was annoying. You haven't begun to understand annoying, but I fear you soon will. These two yahoos are in a class of thier own. *shudder*

Jeff

[LGMB]

Soldier,

Was that some kind of tuant Jeffy? I've had better from bloody SS Hamsters! You need a major lessen on SSN trashing!

[jshandorf]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lord General MB:
Soldier,

Was that some kind of tuant Jeffy? I've had better from bloody SS Hamsters! You need a major lessen on SSN trashing!<hr></blockquote>

Jeffy? Did you call me Jeffy? What are you? Some kid of bleedin' fairy? Are you crusin' for some loving? Huh? Well, you are gonna get nothing but kicked to the curb, soldier, so just peddle those wears further down the street.

The nerve of some people...
Jeff

[Hanns]

Maybe this inarticulate trinity of SSNs can have a jolly good circle wank with each other while ahem... blowing up.. err... inflating their egos. I believe Sandia National Laboratories has discovered a new particle called the "SUP". It is made up of three component particles dubbed "morons" or known by their common names LazyeyedGitMB, Donkeydongathon and lastly and leastly Zinc Oxide Sockeye. Physicists have long debated the existance of "dumb matter" but have only recently verified it's place in the universe by theorizing that "God must have had a really bad hangover that day". The US military has expressed interest in the findings saying that these SUPs could potentially be used as a weapon if air dropped into enemy territory but concerns remain regarding the legality of such a weapon in view of the Geneva Convention. Greenpeace and Earth First! protestors have demanded that these morons be rocketed into space and thence the sun like Superman did with all the nuclear weapons in "Superman ½: The Quest for Spandex that Makes My Package Look Bigger". The Pope has called for the Office of the Doctrine of the Purity of Faith (aka The Inquisition) to investigate claims that the unity of these three morons would result in a nasty infected boil on the arse of the anti-christ, who lives in New Jersey BTW. Further updates will be forthcoming as they spew into existance.
Hanns

[Berlichtingen]

MrSpkr, while I normally would skip over your posts (you are dreadfully dull), I must admit that that is the single finest posting of the rules to date. Well done lad

[LGMB]

Soldier,

Jeff You dare speak that way to me! The Lord General himself! (Ahhh its good to be back, those insults still sting). I will wipe you up soldier and through you out! Private, you are desmissed!

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Yakupafurball:
"I challenge thee, Newbie scum"<hr></blockquote>
Your next line should be:
<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Vanna, I'd like to buy a clue<hr></blockquote>
What part of SINGLE SOMEONE OUT don't you understand? Lord love a duck, but the latest batch of SSNs are none to bright

[dalem]

MrSpkr I am forced to agree with the rest of the tripe in here - your lyricizing was perfect.

I would taunt and challenge you to a game teh proper way, to show they-who-shall-not-be-mentioned how it's done, but I'll wait until after the New Year, when you're woozy from all the eggnog.

[Elvis]

Wankers.

[Ales Dvorak]

Elvis just left the building.
Does he ?

[AUSSIEJEFF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Right then lads, I've another proposal to be added to the rules, comment appreciated:

{XVi.34/^}: No SSN or SK shall be afforded any consideration until or unless they shall have a general location in their profile.

The general location is critical as well. They might be Australian and we CERTAINLY don't want any more of THAT TYPE!

This proposed addition to the rules can be phrased as wished, but I think it might be helpful in screening the riff-raff and trolls like Donkey-a-thon.

Joe<hr></blockquote>

Hmmm,

So where exactly does THAT leave Bauwhos prithee oh Just-a-chariot? I see no GENERAL ADDRESS in HIS profile either .....

(PS: "Special" Xmas cheers to Herr Oberst for forwarding the fix for that rotten keyboard virus he accidently sent me prior.... AWL is well now, you will be glad to cheer...)

And for god's sake Seanachai, can't you spot a challenge when you SEE one??? My last post CLEARLY elucidated such ........ I am sure the honorable SP NOBA (Serf Pending) could dispatch a faer setup twixt both our armies post hasty. What say you to THAT, you, you..... SelfproposedOrziescrunchingSquib.

AJ

[Edited for the simple pleasure of it.....]

[ 12-21-2001: Message edited by: AussieJeff ]</p>

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by AussieJeff:


Hmmm,

So where exactly does THAT leave Bauwhos prithee oh Just-a-chariot? I see no GENERAL ADDRESS in HIS profile either .....<hr></blockquote> You might ALSO note then, that he's not a bloody, useless, whining, illiterate and witless SSN! Mind all the words except for SSN apply but he's no SSN and therefore exempt from the ruling. Now SOD OFF again!

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>And for god's sake Seanachai, can't you spot a challenge when you SEE one??? My last post CLEARLY elucidated such ........ I am sure the honorable SP NOBA (Serf Pending) could dispatch a faer setup twixt both our armies post hasty. What say you to THAT, you, you..... SelfproposedOrziescrunchingsquib.

AJ<hr></blockquote>Don't you EVER read the rules you ignorant pillock? SSNs should never expect a Knight, let alone a Seniour Knight, let alone an Olde One to listen to their pathetic whining mewls for a game! Now SOD OFF!

Did you forget your earlier encounter with us? SOD OFF while you can lad or you'll be the second to be Sent to Coventry!

SOD OFF!

Joe

[ 12-21-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]</p>

[Iskander]

reeling with Manhattan in hand... dammit there, Mr. Sphnctr that really is something other that else... had to post the whole bleary thing on my blogspot!

Now: off to see what really happend with that bunghole Seanachai; expect report immediately. Or shortly. Whatever.

[Moriarty]

Humbug.

[Iskander]

BTS! PLS FX R DO SUMFINK!!

Allow me, not to get this straight, but get this Pooled:

I have 204 OK; Seanachai has 43.
I have 57 KIA; Seanachai has 108.

AND THIS IS A FECKING DRAW?!?

Given that it's the Xmas season, I'd like to take this result to hang some mistletoe over my ass and invite you all over.

sheesh!

[LGMB]

Soldiers,

CHEF Get me a turn so that I can get around to killing you!

PENG Burn baby.... thought I'd buy all Tigers? Hehe.... tongue.gif

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Iskander:
BTS! PLS FX R DO SUMFINK!!

Allow me, not to get this straight, but get this Pooled:

I have 204 OK; Seanachai has 43.
I have 57 KIA; Seanachai has 108.

AND THIS IS A FECKING DRAW?!?

Given that it's the Xmas season, I'd like to take this result to hang some mistletoe over my ass and invite you all over.

sheesh!<hr></blockquote>Now what kind of an example is that to set for the swarms of SSNs that are hanging around these days? You might want to DO A FECKING SEARCH on VLs, Victory Conditions in various situations and WHINING ABOUT A LOSS LIKE A FECKING BABY ... you make me sick.

How was the taunting? THAT'S the important question you geek. Who won THAT battle?

Joe

[bauhaus]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Don't you EVER read the rules you ignorant pillock? SSNs should never expect a Knight, let alone a Seniour Knight, let alone an Olde One to listen to their pathetic whining mewls for a game! Now SOD OFF!

Did you forget your earlier encounter with us? SOD OFF while you can lad or you'll be the second to be Sent to Coventry!

SOD OFF!

<hr></blockquote>

Alright you giant build up of flatulance. While I appreciate the defense and the truth that you tell, I feel it's time to get your butt in gear and get me that battle byte that you challenged me to decades ago. Here let me taunt ye the way the SUPs are accustomed to.....are you yellow? Your mother wears army boots (though we all know it's really your mormon wives)
Now get your mormon wife underwear sniffing, hampster humping, gnome licking ass in gear and get me the set up.
And Flossy, those in the know, understand I am also a Heraldite and the useless group that we are reside in the Windiest of all Cities. Do not ever ever question a Senior Knight's status. That is reserved for the vile members of the pool.
I hate you all.....piss off.

[Joe Shaw]

Bauhaus if you had any sense at all you'd retract that challenge. Have you forgotten, already, how my tactical acumen (ACUMEN damnit, it means capability ... I don't care WHAT it sounds like it's not that ... no, I'm quite sure) ... sheesh. Anyway you must have forgotten that my battle hardened (oh for the love of Pete, it's BATTLE hardened you Ozzie goof), troops walked over the quivering ... no, no, that's fine, quivering yes, absolutely what I was referring to, right you are.

{sigh} ... setup on the way. No, no carry on by all means, I'll just wander off down the way here ...

Joe

[Moriarty]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Iskander:
BTS! PLS FX R DO SUMFINK!!

Allow me, not to get this straight, but get this Pooled:

I have 204 OK; Seanachai has 43.
I have 57 KIA; Seanachai has 108.

AND THIS IS A FECKING DRAW?!?

Given that it's the Xmas season, I'd like to take this result to hang some mistletoe over my ass and invite you all over.

sheesh!<hr></blockquote>

That's what happens when you play gamey bast.... , er, Olde Ones. You'll get used to it. I have clearly thumped Seanachai on more than one occasion only to have the score go quite the other way. When/if you get to Olde One status you'll understand.

[Noba]

Oh, Jo snore:

Your reply to AJ......
__________________________________________________
Don't you EVER read the rules you ignorant pillock? SSNs should never expect a Knight, let alone a Seniour Knight, let alone an Olde One to listen to their pathetic whining mewls for a game! Now SOD OFF!
__________________________________________________


You forget. Seanachai listened to this THIS SSN;(Australian - OF COURSE)...when I reported to the pool after ME telling him to SOD OFF! in the Aussie thread. The mere fact that when I dutifully arrived, (At that point I thought it correct to do the right thing to protect Aussies) the EX-Mighty one actually listened and replied. It makes light of your statement. So your useless dribble of a reply to AJ means bugger all.

I remind one and all in this pox ridden den of senile old ones .... SEANACHAI IS LOSING TO ALL AUSTRALIANS HE IS PLAYING. Not one of you is good enough to stand up to an Australian, not even with rigged scenarios. You are all hiding behind the 'Abuse someone in particular' "rule".

With the end of Seanachai, who will be the next loser ... ? Hanns, are you up to losing a fair fight ? You can't post anything other than dribble, you spend all your time whining and foraging around in the 'pool. It's about time you found out if your backbone exists, other than in your mind that is !

Send me a set up. Or SOD OFF !


Noba.

[Lawyer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Noba:
SEANACHAI IS LOSING TO ALL AUSTRALIANS HE IS PLAYING. <hr></blockquote>

It is impossible under the Laws of Nature to "lose" to an Australian, just as it is impossible to WIN against a lawyer. How can one lose to ultimate losers who are called "downunder" for very clear and logical reasons?

Seanachai is an English-Victorian-Wannabee who buys Queen Elizabeth Jubilee plates on E-Bay, but even he cannot lose to an Australian, no matter what the score is in CM. His weekend Oscar Wilde dress-ups can't change nature.

[Moriarty]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Lawyer:
[QB]

It is impossible under the Laws of Nature to "lose" to an Australian, just as it is impossible to WIN against a lawyer. How can one lose to ultimate losers who are called "downunder" for very clear and logical reasons?

You, sir, are very clearly delusional.

[Noba]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Moriarty:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Lawyer:
[QB]
__________________________________________________ _____
It is impossible under the Laws of Nature to "lose" to an Australian, just as it is impossible to WIN against a lawyer. How can one lose to ultimate losers who are called "downunder" for very clear and logical reasons?
__________________________________________________ _____
You, sir, are very clearly delusional.<hr></blockquote>

A veritable champions reply. Perhaps the 'pools lick-spittle would care to back up his post (where he gets one out of three bits right. I have to agree about WINNING against Lawyers, only in real life though....)

Come to think of it...Lawyers don't live in the real world at all. They are not part of the 'Laws of Nature' either. Nothing that obscene can be attributed to anything 'Natural'.

I did read that Australians may have become the most litigious country / per capita in the world, so maybe we could welcome you as an honary Aussie.
Make sure you arrive by boat ! Cyclone season !
Of course, we will give you a holiday somewhere in the South Pacific first. (As befits someone of your standing).


Noba.

[Roborat]

Greetings and best wishes for the holiday season from the depths of northern Canada (redundant statement, I know) on the longest night of the year.

Congrats MrSpkr, that has to be, without a doubt, the most inspired and artistic posting of the rules I have ever seen. It, alone, made wading through the last four incarnations of the mbt worthwhile. Kudos to you (looks in pocket) here's three, it's all I have. Hiram, it's good to have you back, and Croda, you (almost) replace the venom and vitriol of the awol Meeks, a quality sorely missing from the 'pool lately.

For what it's worth, my inclination is to punt the rusty fryguy. I apparently have more tolerance than most, must come from being in nearly constant state of hypothermia, but even I cannot take it anymore, he takes annoying into heretofore uncharted and frightening dimensions.

For game updates Lleeoo and I are still battling it out, my strategy is to keep giving him targets until his tanks run out of ammo, so far, so good. Also gave him a nasty surprise in the far right corner, where the edge hugging gamey bugger discovered what a simultanous armour ambush and artillery barrage can do to some unescorted armoured cars and tracks trapped in some woods.

[Yeknodathon]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

What part of SINGLE SOMEONE OUT don't you understand? Lord love a duck, but the latest batch of SSNs are none to bright<hr></blockquote>

...ooohhhhh, right... with you now....

okay, okay... ahem (cough)

er, just a small, tiny, minor point: "SINGLE SOMEONE OUT" Errrrrr, Homo Sapien? Bit optimistic here! Okay, lets broaden the net.... humanoid? Errrrr, nope, nope don't see anyone upright on two legs.... okay, raise yer paw if you CLAIM to be a mammal.... dodgy... 1, 2, oh, that one's doubtful.... oh, yes, I see, unnatural breeding... count you as 1/2 then.... got some reptilian crawlers, even got a marsupial... that count?

BurpLactating, where'd you feature in this evolutionary freak show?

Yeknod

[ 12-22-2001: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]</p>

[Moriarty]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Noba:


A veritable champions reply. Perhaps the 'pools lick-spittle would care to back up his post (where he gets one out of three bits right. I have to agree about WINNING against Lawyers, only in real life though....)
Noba.<hr></blockquote>

See me when you're a Kanigget, boy-o.

[MrSpkr]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Iskander:
reeling with Manhattan in hand... dammit there, Mr. Sphnctr that really is something other that else... had to post the whole bleary thing on my blogspot!<hr></blockquote>

And no bloody credit for me, either, I see. Where's jdmorse when you really need him?

Wanker.

[Goanna]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Jo Xia:
On a side note, I think that young Donkey-a-thon is a Nog TOO and note that HE hasn't challenged anyone EITHER but has merely posted tripe in large quantities.<hr></blockquote>

True, but he did bring a sing-song and you know how that often attracts the favour of the Bard. He also apparently has a grasp of the English language, grammar and punctuation which is more than can be said for some. The fact that his points are completely incomprehensible is not, in itself, a reason to cast him out yet, as where would that have left those such as PawBroon?

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> mrsqkr:
BTW, if I left any of you maggots out of this outstanding bit of poetry, it's probably because I find you less interesting than watching grass grow or paint dry.<hr></blockquote>

I knew there had to be a reason. It’s either this or the fact that you can’t even bear to type the names of those of us who are thrashing you like a rug on a line just before company arrives.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>More-arty:
See me when you're a Kanigget, boy-o.<hr></blockquote>

Technically speaking I do beleive he was calling the consigliori out. But thanks for sticking up for your mates in Australia. Me thinks it must be getting pretty cold in deep southern Wisconsin and you are looking for an offer of safe refuge in warmer climes until spring. Perhaps the Herald should do an in-depth study of rural bushfire brigades that they could find someone of experience to cover. Oh, and be sure to bring along a photograhper.

[ 12-22-2001: Message edited by: Goanna ]</p>

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Your reply to AJ......
__________________________________________________
Don't you EVER read the rules you ignorant pillock? SSNs should never expect a Knight, let alone a Seniour Knight, let alone an Olde One to listen to their pathetic whining mewls for a game! Now SOD OFF! __________________________________________________


You forget. Seanachai listened to this THIS SSN;(Australian - OF COURSE)...when I reported to the pool after ME telling him to SOD OFF! in the Aussie thread. The mere fact that when I dutifully arrived, (At that point I thought it correct to do the right thing to protect Aussies) the EX-Mighty one actually listened and replied. It makes light of your statement. So your useless dribble of a reply to AJ means bugger all.<hr></blockquote> First, learn UBB ... it is your friend. Second, what part of "SSNs should never expect ... an Olde One to listen to their pathetic whining mewls for a game !" did you miss? OH, well it's obvious isn't it? The operative phrase was "for a game" ... yes well that makes it all different doesn't it? Responding is one thing, responding to a demand for a game ... entirely another.

I'll give you this, Knobber, you show more promise than all three of the more recent SSNs put together ... damning with faint praise to be sure but still one should take what one can get. Surprised that's not on the Australian flag, convict ancestry and all.

Joe

[ 12-22-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]</p>

[OGSF]

Ay may bae simply cos o' tha fetid shoe stains tha' ha' bin wanderin' ain here o' late as SSN's, bu' Ah still think tha BackedOopOnADonkey show's tha slightest promise. Alreet, perrhaps "slightest" as a wee bat strong.

Anyhoo, he did try tae taunt someone hais ain level, low an' scum suckin' tha at as, but tha's precious few SSNs' an' squires tae bae foond right noo. Tha follow oop were a disappointment tho.

Here's a haids oop fer ye FullO'DonkeyBoy - put ye email address ain ye stankin' profile laddie. Otherwise ye a skankin' Persona Non Gratis an' tha' can bae a very peculiar thang, as anyone wi' an ounce o' 'Pool tradition wid knoo.

Tha AussieJeff as gi' tha acumen o' a cod fish fart - wha' didnye challenge tha' twit? An' mak at a guid wun, laddie. Sound off lak ye go' a pair, an' noo aboot thaim.

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABC DJimmy

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by dalem:
MrSpkr I am forced to agree with the rest of the tripe in here - your lyricizing was perfect.

<hr></blockquote>

Parts of it, actually, were vile bad. 'Strodinarily bad stuff. But other parts, other parts, mind you, well, they were quite good. And on the whole, on the whole, that is, it was amusing. Even very amusing.

Sometime we'll have to have to have a 'Pool tournament. Oh, not about silly ****e like winning and losing at CM, we aren't about that after all, as we are all just lovers of the game, and here in the Peng Challenge Thread, we are all about playing the game, while useless pillocks stress out daily on whether they're winning the Mother Beautiful Game. And, of course, these pillocks whose manhood is totally wound up with whether they are winning Combat Mission, are the same ones who make up a huge percentage of the whimpering, whinging, and disappointed children who wail on about
'mismodeled this' and 'unrealistic that'. The rest who carry on about that sort of thing, of course, are Grogs, and they're only doing their job.

No, we should have a proper, Peng Challenge Thread sort of Tournament. One involving the most finely turned insult, or the best parody of a literary work or song sort of thing. It is in this that the true spirit of the Peng Challenge Thread will be found.

MrSpkr, well done, you loathsome, spotty little dog's dinner.

[Hanns]

Arguing with Ozztralians is like competing in the Special Olympics. You may be the winner but you're still a retard. What's that Nobber? You challenging me you little pissant? I have put a good BOOTing to your mate SpazzyJeff in a real battle. Such a bad beating I might add that he requested a ceasefire. Bwaaaa..... I shall find a nice little battle on "Der Kessel" after I get home from the bar and proceed to kick you crooked, yellowed, mangy teeth in. Something short and brutish I would think. Prepare a will, check it twice cuz death is coming tonight. Git!
Hanns

[Moriarty]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna:


Technically speaking I do beleive he was calling the consigliori out. But thanks for sticking up for your mates in Australia. Me thinks it must be getting pretty cold in deep southern Wisconsin and you are looking for an offer of safe refuge in warmer climes until spring. Perhaps the Herald should do an in-depth study of rural bushfire brigades that they could find someone of experience to cover. Oh, and be sure to bring along a photograhper.

[ 12-22-2001: Message edited by: Goanna ]<hr></blockquote>

You speak Oz better'n me. I wasn't quite sure who he was callin' out. As for a trip way south, I'd love it but the firm won't go for it.

Did you get my setup? It came back once from your bigpond addy ... something about lots of messages ... but I thought it went through later.

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Iskander:
BTS! PLS FX R DO SUMFINK!!

Allow me, not to get this straight, but get this Pooled:

I have 204 OK; Seanachai has 43.
I have 57 KIA; Seanachai has 108.

AND THIS IS A FECKING DRAW?!?

Given that it's the Xmas season, I'd like to take this result to hang some mistletoe over my ass and invite you all over.

sheesh!<hr></blockquote>

Iskander, my dear little lad, if you peruse the innumerable postings on the 'Pool about games with myself, you will notice a certain pattern.

Not a pattern of confident wins. Not a pattern of Roman conquest. Not a Stalinesque steely defense.

No, what you will notice is an almost magical ability to deny Fate and Justice. Those confident of victory are presented with galling Draws. Those who assume they will at least, suddenly discover they've lost. Those who anticipate a massive win, are either presented with some paltry victory, or suddenly find themselves losing by some strange, paltry margin. It is a gift.

Now, obviously I have my losses, some of them quite brutal. But my special ability is to annoy, rather than win. This is the power granted to me as one of the Olde Ones.

You are a fine and useless opponent; one of a long line of disgruntled and bitterly annoyed individuals who've smacked the back of their hand against the monitor shouting 'What the Sodding Hell!'

You should have seen the four games I've won against Berli (out of 6). You can't begin to understand pain until you've seen what he's had to endure.

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Noba:
Oh, Jo snore:

Your reply to AJ......

[q]Don't you EVER read the rules you ignorant pillock? SSNs should never expect a Knight, let alone a Seniour Knight, let alone an Olde One to listen to their pathetic whining mewls for a game! Now SOD OFF![q]

You forget. Seanachai listened to this THIS SSN;(Australian - OF COURSE)...when I reported to the pool after ME telling him to SOD OFF! in the Aussie thread. The mere fact that when I dutifully arrived, (At that point I thought it correct to do the right thing to protect Aussies) the EX-Mighty one actually listened and replied. It makes light of your statement. So your useless dribble of a reply to AJ means bugger all.

I remind one and all in this pox ridden den of senile old ones .... SEANACHAI IS LOSING TO ALL AUSTRALIANS HE IS PLAYING.
Noba.<hr></blockquote>

Well, this is not quite right. Near as dammit, but not on. I am, in fact, thrashing Speedy, an Australian and Seniour Knight of the Cesspool.

But, good Justicar, the lowly and unutterably vile Noba makes a worthwhile point. I currently fight many battles with Australians. I will need to bring these low and loathsome creatures in here, from time to time, in order to carry out my Holy Quest.

You see, I'm not some cheap tart that goes haring off after opponents on the Outer Boards. I limit my games to members of the Peng Challenge Thread. And, of course, the vile Australians.

Why not merely begin a thread challenging Australians, you may ask? Well, frankly, such may be perceived by the Powers that Be, and the Mad Bald One, as merely Cesspool spillage.

But, more importantly, it's because I only wish to challenge those, even Australian, who will come in here and taunt me. However poorly.

And, to answer Noba's taunt regarding my current showing against the undeniably lowly Australians:

Lad, it is a most Holy Quest that I have undertaken, and it is not through mere victory that my duty and destiny will be observed, but by my opposition to Australians. Should I fall in these battles, what marks me out as the Paladin that I am, is the vigour with which I arise from each defeat, and cast myself into battle again with the forces of Australianism.

Strike me down, you may, but you shall never take from me my Quest. Australia shall be crushed, and the gods shall witness my devotion to this pursuit of Goodness.

Now, all that said, I propose Noba as Serf. I see nothing in the useless bastard's postings that would hold him a lowly SSN.

Oh, and I fear that I will have to accept the (somewhat puerile) challenge of AussieJeff.

It is true, Oh Shaw, that the Useless should not raise their eyes to a game with those far above their merit. But I have brought this upon myself, in my Challenge to All Australians. As purposeless as AussieJeff appears to us all, he is here, and he has taunted and Challenged me, however poorly.

Send me a setup, AussieJeff. Nothing above 1500 base points. I leave it to you to determine what conditions you will choose as most likely to bring you an unearned victory.

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Persepone

I have done some research on Gnomes and have determined that Seanachai is a House Gnome. A description follows:

The house gnome is a special sort. He resembles an ordinary gnome but he has the most knowledge of mankind. Owing to the fact that he often inhabits historic old houses, he has seen both rich and poor, and heard a great deal. He speaks and understands man’s language; gnome kings are chosen from his family. These gnomes (Farm and House) are good-natured, always ready for a lark or to tease; they are never malevolent, with a few exceptions, of course. If a gnome is really wicked -- which happens only once in a thousand -- it is due to bad genes that result from crossbreeding in faraway places.

I really don't think it is a case of bad genes, so it must be the troll who has taken his place. Troll, I demand you confess and tell us what you did with Seanachai. Free him at once!

<hr></blockquote>

Oh my gods, she's spectacularly cruel. This was at one and the same time both wonderfully precious, and savagely humiliating.

Women. I suppose it's because they give birth to all the addled lot of us that they have the ability and insight to both elevate and demean, to both stroke and kick.

To paraphrase a quote from the Author Evangeline Walton:

Women are the first lawgivers that any of us encounter, and that is why some men go to any lengths to demean them, while some of even the worst of men respect them, that respect nothing else.

[Noba]

Originally speaketh by Seanachai.
__________________________________________________ ___
And, to answer Noba's taunt regarding my current showing against the undeniably lowly Australians:

Lad, it is a most Holy Quest that I have undertaken, and it is not through mere victory that my duty and destiny will be observed, but by my opposition to Australians. Should I fall in these battles, what marks me out as the Paladin that I am, is the vigour with which I arise from each defeat, and cast myself into battle again with the forces of Australianism.
__________________________________________________ ____


Well from where I stand with my boot on your neck.... you won't be getting up for a while ! We victorious Australians are not without pity on second rate nations. We understand that it is difficult to look up to us and be constantly blinded by the sun shining to illuminate our greatness. If you wish to take the boat and join our great nation...well...we might let you in.

Now. What did the old fart JoJo say ?

UB40 was it ?


Noba.

[ 12-22-2001: Message edited by: Noba ]</p>

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Yeknodathon:


...ooohhhhh, right... with you now....

okay, okay... ahem (cough)

er, just a small, tiny, minor point: "SINGLE SOMEONE OUT" Errrrrr, Homo Sapien? Bit optimistic here! Okay, lets broaden the net.... humanoid? Errrrr, nope, nope don't see anyone upright on two legs.... okay, raise yer paw if you CLAIM to be a mammal.... dodgy... 1, 2, oh, that one's doubtful.... oh, yes, I see, unnatural breeding... count you as 1/2 then.... got some reptilian crawlers, even got a marsupial... that count?

BurpLactating, where'd you feature in this evolutionary freak show?

Yeknod

[ 12-22-2001: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]<hr></blockquote>


I choose your 'worst post' to reply to, hopefully, your best intention.

I found your pseudo "Slash Me Own Throat" Dibbler posts to have some merit. You've been uneven, but I've actually found you somewhat amusing.

But now things are at a turning point for you, lad. You've shown no particular interest in actually Challenging someone. That's what we're here for, actually. Oh, not the playing, not the winning, not the losing, not even just the insults. We're here for the Challenge. And that's a whole bloody concept.

It's the wandering in and drawing sword. It's the appraisal of the field, and picking an opponent. It's the choice of song, story, and villification to gain notice. It's the heady rush of being noticed, acknowledged, dismissed, and being acknowldeged again. It's the game that is gained, the community that laughs, and gibes, and belittles, and then grudgingly makes way for you.

It is, in a phrase, the Peng Challenge Thread.

All the people who sneer, and abuse, and toss urine at you. They all came in here, lad, and suffered the same. Well, except for the Eldest, and the Olde Ones, but they'd for the most part already endured a lot of ****e.

So, the main strike against yourself here in the Thread of threads, is your stupid Profile. Here in the Peng Challenge Thread, we prefer an individual who's got enough hair to post a full profile. An email address to which Challenges can be addressed, and which verify the Reality of the challenger. Amazing, really, how many 'long time posters' on the Outer Boards are so inconsequential as to start up a new Forum personality in order to come into the Peng Challenge Thread and act tough, talk trash, and risk nothing concerning their established Forum personality.

Besides all that, of course, here in the Peng Challenge Thread, we prefer to know our opponents. We are amongst the harshest of posters, and granted a leeway of personal expression and interaction that you'll never get on the Outer Boards. And why? Because we Despise and Honour each other. You will be treated here to abuse, and cast abuse, that will never pass on the Outer Boards.

And because of that, we don't suffer anonymous bastards lightly. Those members who haven't a currently published email address, location, personal info, etc.; well, lad, we know who they are. If they behave like arseholes, we know how to deal with them, how to contact them, how to awake them to their role, duty, and place within the Freedom of the Peng Challenge Thread.

But there's no one here that will extend themselves to acknowledge some pillock who makes no proper Challenge, and is anonymous as so much trash thown out a car window to litter the highway.

We have been characterized as unwelcoming, elitist, vicious, pointless, and disgusting.

We are all this, perhaps, and far more than the muddy dreams of the Outer Board can accept. But we know our own, our duty, and our fellowship.

Post a True Self, make a True Challenge, and Rise.

Or piss about, and be ignored. It's all one to us. You've shown certain abilities. Show us your personal honour.

[ 12-22-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[ 12-22-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]</p>

[Noba]

Originally posted by Seanachai.

__________________________________________________ ___
We have been characterized as unwelcoming, elitist, vicious, pointless, and disgusting.

We are all this, perhaps, and far more than the muddy dreams of the Outer Board can accept. But we know our own, our duty, and our fellowship.

Post a True Self, make a True Challenge, and Rise.

Or piss about, and be ignored. It's all one to us. You've shown certain abilities. Show us your personal honour.
__________________________________________________ _______

Nice post.

Where is my turn. Turkey.


Noba.

[AUSSIEJEFF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:


As purposeful as AussieJeff appears to us all, he is here, and he has taunted and Challenged me, however.

Send me a setup, AussieJeff. Nothing above 1500 base points. I leave it to you to determine what conditions you will choose as most likely to bring you an unearned victory.<hr></blockquote>

Well I'll be bug..errrr.... honoured SK Seanachai, to do Battle By Byte with ye.

However, be warned that ye are about to face one of the most agressive defenders of a CM losing record on record. I'll NOT win easily ....... no Sirr-ee...... So, your string of so-called 'honourable' losses to the Orztraylian Contingent may well come to a bitter and unrewarding END. Ponder that, Sir Seniour Knigget, whilst yon Conscript-only-slaughter-fest wends it's torturous way to your electro-mail. Let the Battle begin!! I feel another glorious loss a'comin' on.......or will you disappoint yourself?? We shall see .......

AJ

[Yeknodathon]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:


But now things are at a turning point for you, lad. You've shown no particular interest in actually Challenging someone. That's what we're here for, actually. Oh, not the playing, not the winning, not the losing, not even just the insults. We're here for the Challenge. And that's a whole bloody concept.

So, the main strike against yourself here in the Thread of threads, is your stupid Profile. <hr></blockquote>


Some angelic music begins and a shaft of blinding light smacks the Initiate Yeknod squarely on the forhead.... in one speck of time he witnesses the beauty and horror of the universe, the past and the future in its full gamut of underdulating eddies and swirling currents cascading and smashing against the unforgiving rocks of eternity.... everything now seems very clear... and that voice, that kindly, benevolent, gentle guide.. what majesty in such a low place... the dazzled Yeknod stumbles and falls unpon his knees with a moist eye knowing that all his deficiencies and mistakes have brought him to this moment of enlightenment; the crucial decision that must be made... but to hear that voice again that cradles and caresses, the voice that sprinkles wisdom and would be Sofia herself were it not for the slightly gruff undertone.

But there is silence in the pool... a void that clogs and creeps around the Yeknod as the light dims.... and then, the growing anxiety weedles into his brave, noble heart and with a blasting stab twists and turns.... terror and doubt take hold... the adrenalin pumps and his hand tightens on the helm and with fertive glances to catch the slipping shadows that dart and scamper he stumbles to the door barely able to utter the words from his parched throat,

"... horror, the horror..... Ping, the Ping Thread... "

... and as he lurches towards the door, and turns to see the growing gloom engulf its scurrying contents he looks back on his life, his love and professions and the awful realisation grips his throat again as he spits out his thoughts,

"oooooh, my gawd, International Jet Setting Merchant Banking Taxidermist... I'm dead"

(slam)

[ 12-22-2001: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]</p>

[Goanna]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Speaketh the Bard:
Oh my gods, she's spectacularly cruel. This was at one and the same time both wonderfully precious, and savagely humiliating.<hr></blockquote>

Aye, she’s a nasty piece of work, that one. Having met her personally, I can tell you that she is a paragon of her species (i.e a harpy). She’ll draw you in with the quiet talk, the subtle grin and the stifled giggle, then leave you standing their wondering how your lungs ended up on your loafers. Note how, under the guise of characterising you, she gives her own this shot in the pills:

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> from Patch:
Hair grays very early, baldness unknown. (Well, Berli is definitely not a Gnome.)<hr></blockquote>

Ouch . . . *now that’s gonna leave a mark.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> More from the Bard:
We are amongst the harshest of posters, and granted a leeway of personal expression and interaction that you'll never get on the Outer Boards.<hr></blockquote>

Quite, given what is also spewing forth from the frozen wastelands these days:

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>From Look Ma’ no Hanns:
Arguing with Ozztralians is like competing in the Special Olympics. You may be the winner but you're still a retard.<hr></blockquote>

I’d like to see the intellectually impaired try that one out on the OuterBoards for size.

Let me add to what our gnomish comrade has apty (if not briefly) summarised for the various SSN that may be wishing to dip their feet this Yule. The reason that you fill out your whole profile is to show how unafraid you are of the assault on your character that will undoubtedly result from your first posting in the pool. By all means, hang around a bit first. Do a little research into hometowns, professions and identified websites available in the profiles. Make sure that when you target your bile the first time that it finds the soft underbelly of your adversary and doesn’t bounce off into the pool of accumulated insults barely causing a ripple. But at the same time, make sure that those present, who you are obviously offering to join (or you wouldn’t be here now would you?) can avail themselves of same opportunities that we present by completing your whole profile. After all, you really should get to know someone, and even be able to appreciate their perspective, if you intend to hate them properly.


* Ellipses use authorised by resident punctuation nazi Joe Shaw in the absence of permanent punctuation Nazi MarkIV

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by AussieJeff:


Well I'll be bug..errrr.... honoured SK Seanachai, to do Battle By Byte with ye.

Ponder that, Sir Seniour Knigget, whilst yon Conscript-only-slaughter-fest wends it's torturous way to your electro-mail. Let the Battle begin!! I feel another glorious loss a'comin' on.......or will you disappoint yourself?? We shall see .......

AJ<hr></blockquote>

Sigh. Lad, I am, of course and by extension, a Seniour Knight of the Peng Challenge Thread.

But I am, first and foremost, one of the Olde Ones, establishing my reality, which redounds to your credit of garnering a game for the honour of Australia against me. Get it right.

Doubtless because you and your kin have so recently evolved to the status of actually nursing your own, live-born young, even though they return to the pouch for the final stage of their gestation, you've missed the fact that, since the beginning of time, and beyond, the three Olde Ones have been crouched in the Wasteland, awaiting the arrival of the Folk. Even such low and useless arrivals as yourself.

Ah, AussieJeff, how you bring to truth the lyrics of one of your national songwriters:

And it's a hard time living in the Lucky Country
Hard, hard times
They try to make you civilized
They just don't seem to realize
What they touch they bastardize
Hard, hard times.

[Speedy]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:


I am, in fact, thrashing Speedy, an Australian and Seniour Knight of the Cesspool.

<hr></blockquote>

I cannot accept responsibility for this tradgedy, it appears that due to some remf foul up my troops were given the 'Last Stand Handbook' by Custer instead of Guderians' 'Achtung Panzer'.
If only BTS had modelled cavalry I might have been rescued.

[Stuka]

Fear not, brother Speedy, one battle does not a war make.
Herr Seanachai, committed to his crusade, is finding it hard going indeed and is due for his third spanking in a row, although I am on the attack this time and I wish him well in his endeavour.

What is of greater concern here, is the absolute influx of looky loos, tourists and wannabees.
It is like Waterloo feck'in station around here lately.

( I would rave on further with some really interesting stuff but a 'mutha beautiful' electrical storm is approaching and a Seniour Kanniggett has to know when discretion is the better part of valour and, get the feck out of here! )

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:
( I would rave on further with some really interesting stuff but a 'mutha beautiful' electrical storm is approaching and a Seniour Kanniggett has to know when discretion is the better part of valour and, get the feck out of here! )<hr></blockquote>


Here's a key, and a kite. Go out and have some fun!

Mace

[Stixx]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:
A 'mutha beautiful' electrical storm is approaching [/QB]<hr></blockquote>

Well it may be approaching you but it's sitting on my bloody head!

Damn!!!

Batton down the hatches buddy, this ain't pretty!.

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:
You should have seen the four games I've won against Berli (out of 6). You can't begin to understand pain until you've seen what he's had to endure.<hr></blockquote>
But that streak (Bauhaus... don't make me slap you) ended with the Little H-39 That Could.

What the Bard says it true. You can do everything right and he can do everything wrong and when the smoke clears you will find that you have lost... quite annoying

[Noba]

Carry on dear Aussie chaps. The senile one will eventually learn that 'getting lucky' in one game, sometimes, does not in itself mean anything.

He forgets, he is fighting a losing battle against the Australians he so wishes to suppress. He has only just started to lose. He will come to realise - he is doomed to repeat his losses forever. As are all in the 'pool who challenge us.
His lilly-lipped replies have no standing. He is clutching at 'seniority' ... In this case another word for Silly Old Pooler. SOP !

We will be victorious ! We shall overcome the foreign stench of the 'pool. To be "Champions of the Pool" by RIGHT, and of course by naturalness too ! Perhaps an, 'UBER LEVEL' above all others in the pool will be ours. All others will be as SSN's to our lofty gaze. We, the young, brave AUSTRALIANS, will RULE.

There is no-one in the 'pool that can stand up to us. I call upon you all to join our crusade. To end the dribble of foreigners who dare slight our hard fought and won reputation as the Best in the world.

Noba.

[ 12-22-2001: Message edited by: Noba ]</p>

[Lawyer]

Seanachai, you Gnaive Nome, "Yeknodathon" is obviously Peng in Yeknod drag bashing the one thread in the virtual universe that gives constant recognition to his pitiful name. And you answer him with all the silly intensity that you normally save for SSN's. Only Peng and Meeks have the need to adopt alternate egos to spread their senseless bile around like fresh manure on a damp morning.

And as to your "playing" Aussie Fluff, didn't you try to "save" another git a while back by bringing him home to pee in the Pool and giving him game? I've (thankfully) forgotten the name of that idjit, but not your vile actions.

Remember Senile One, you don't need to go native to teach the natives. And it's always wise to LEAVE THE FECKIN' NATIVES where they are. If you absolutely feel the need to adopt (and in this season of mercy, I fear the worst...), go to the animal shelter and at least get one for whom having a wet nose is a sign of God's grace, rather than the signature of filthy hygiene.

In short, you need to start adopting at better places than the outerboards and the occasional insects that wander in here looking for cookie crumbs.

[Lawyer]

Note to Noba

First, let me apologize for the unrequested babbling of Moriarty who intruded into your own unrequested babbling. Berli normally keeps him comatose on a strict diet of NyQuil to prevent disruptions at work, but apparently the Mao-Man accidentally woke up and somehow thought the world had missed him. M.C. Hammer and Peter Yarrow have the same delusions occasionally. Unfortunately, these losers only know how to express themselves with primal screams that annoy the rest of us. Where is Yoko when we really need her?

Now on to important matters.

NO REAL MAN lives in a place named after a fat old queen who produced the full line of modern deviants bankrupting an already bankrupt nation, and laughing all the way to the bank. We know Vicky's progeny as "Chucker", "Andy-Pandy", and limp-wristed "Eddie" (the most manly of them all).

I'll accept without comment your claim to live in a park. Do you have your own bench and trashcan to forage?

Furthermore, if you are really a "miner", then it proves again (as if it's necessary) that only in Oz can a man claim that picking the lint from his navel is a profession. I'm sure the Aussie gub'ment buys it from you too, and palms it off on the rest of the world as "pure lambswool" or the yeast used in "brewing" Foster's Piss-Hell-ner.

Be it known to you, Potty Nob, that Mace is the only Ozzie Queen we accept here, and only because he enjoys cavorting around the house in Freddie Mercury shirts and tight shiny toreador pants so much. "Fat-bottomed sheep, they make the Ozzie world go 'round..."

As much as I would like to once again apply some Gucci leather to the neck of a working man in order to remind you that Lawyer ist Uber[, I have a few other patsies standing in line wanting to get slapped around first.

I do have my Eye on Oz, however. I see that I shall have to eventually clean-up the embarrassing mess Seanachai has made in thrashing you all to pulp. Stuka, Mace, and even the faux Arab Goanna all have a Date with Death at the Hands of the Law. All good things come to those who wait.

So keep waiting, you Puff Wart, and throw Mel Gibson on the barbie with your "Men at Work" albums. Be sure to keep your mouth closed so you don't gag so much on the dust. Hmmm.... Didn't you just hear a canary sing? You sound so much better when your mouth is closed.

Ya Feckin' Idjit.

[ 12-22-2001: Message edited by: Lawyer ]</p>

[Joe Shaw]

Oh me oh my, another busy night of posting I see. Do you lot have any idea of the pain you put me through? To have to awaken and face your ... drivel every morning is a trial indeed.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Needless to say, Seanachai is on binge and purge mode again with his posts: But, good Justicar, the lowly and unutterably vile Noba makes a worthwhile point. I currently fight many battles with Australians. I will need to bring these low and loathsome creatures in here, from time to time, in order to carry out my Holy Quest.

You see, I'm not some cheap tart that goes haring off after opponents on the Outer Boards. I limit my games to members of the Peng Challenge Thread. And, of course, the vile Australians ... But, more importantly, it's because I only wish to challenge those, even Australian, who will come in here and taunt me. However poorly.<hr></blockquote> Look you Seanachai, it's not the bringing in of those who can taunt to which we object. It's your vile habit of inviting them IN PUBLIC so that other Australians who CAN'T taunt (i.e. virtually ALL of them) think that they can just wander in.

We are in accord with your noble and indeed almost religious crusade against Australians, as who is not. We simply ask that you not be so ... blatant.

You needn't REMAIN a cheap tart you know, trolling your dubious and well worn wares in public ... you can email in private. Think of it as having a nice little room to go to, albeit one infested with roaches and with stained mattress and noisy neighbors and the occassional gunshot.
<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Now, all that said, I propose Noba as Serf. I see nothing in the useless bastard's postings that would hold him a lowly SSN.<hr></blockquote> Yes, yes fine, whatever. He DOES exhibit SOME merit I suppose. Mind I'm opposed IN GENERAL to more Australians but ...
<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Oh, and I fear that I will have to accept the (somewhat puerile) challenge of AussieJeff. It is true, Oh Shaw, that the Useless should not raise their eyes to a game with those far above their merit. But I have brought this upon myself, in my Challenge to All Australians. As purposeless as AussieJeff appears to us all, he is here, and he has taunted and Challenged me, however poorly. <hr></blockquote> Oh blast and damn Seanachai now you've done it. He was gone, he'd left and it was a GOOD thing. Now you've given him cart blanche (Why does Blanche get a cart and no one else ... ever wondered ... perhaps SHE offers more than the others if you get my drift?) You'll regret this ... and so shall we.

Now mind I've no objection to ANYONE playing an SSN IF THEY SO CHOOSE! I myself have taken likely lads under my wing, why Speedbump was just a snot nosed SSN when I introduced him to the joys of Jabo! ... ah the memories. But generally SSNs are beneath even notice of contempt.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Well we didn't have to wait long for the newest Serf to pop in did we: Now. What did the old fart JoJo say? UB40 was it ?<hr></blockquote> Look you lad, you're in the CessPool now, granted at the lowest level recognized and STILL not eligible for having your name properly spelt and bolded but STILL OF THE CESSPOOL. You'll learn to properly set off quotes using UBB codes or we'll know the reason why. Go to the UBB Code is enabled link ... to your left ... your OTHER left ... it's in WHITE lad ... now click on it and get someone literate to read and explain it to you. Good lad.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Seanachai, in a flash of insight totally unlike him, actually hit the nail upon the head: Post a True Self, make a True Challenge, and Rise. Or piss about, and be ignored. It's all one to us. You've shown certain abilities. Show us your personal honour.<hr></blockquote> Well I might well quarrel with the "certain abilities" tag ... in fact I shall, he's a Nog and no error, but the point is well taken. He shall follow the advice of Seanachai or be Sent to COVENTRY.

Speaking of COVENTRY there are but two hours (give or take) remaining for a last appeal to save Tin Cook Sucky from that fate.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>I was amazed at the following from FlossieJeff: However, be warned that ye are about to face one of the most agressive defenders of a CM losing record on record. I'll NOT win easily ....... no Sirr-ee...... So, your string of so-called 'honourable' losses to the Orztraylian Contingent may well come to a bitter and unrewarding END.<hr></blockquote> Now by George you can't say fairer than that say I. Perhaps his exile has shown the lad the error of his ways. As fine a statement of proper CessPool attitude as I've seen from an SSN ... and an Australian at that ... will wonders never cease.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Now see the violence inherent in the system, the SSN Donkey-a-thon stated, in writing mind you: "... horror, the horror..... Ping, the Ping Thread... "<hr></blockquote> You miserable little creature ... it's PENG! PENG blast your eyes. And still no email and no general location. You're on damned thin ice boyo, the Justicariate has it's eye on you, one more slip and YOU'RE GONE, HISTORY, DECEASED AND BLOODY WELL PINING FOR THE FJORDS! see if you're not.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Goanna has honored us with his presence from the scorched wastelands of Oman ... : * Ellipses use authorised by resident punctuation nazi Joe Shaw in the absence of permanent punctuation Nazi MarkIV<hr></blockquote> HAH! MarkIV couldn't punctuate his way out of a paper bag.

And of course Lawyer showed up as well, I'll not suffer the CessPool to read his blitherings AGAIN, I'll just note that I'm personally getting damned sick and tired of him ... DAMNED sick and tired. In fact ...

Lawyer I find you to be an affront to good and decent CessPoolers everywhere, in fact I find you to be an affront to the rest of the CessPoolers and obviously that's a MUCH larger portion of the Hole. I take it upon myself to humble you sir, to teach you some manners and to bring you down a notch or two.

In short sir, I challenge you to meet me upon the field of honor, or (as you're likely to be hard pressed to get a pass there given your reputation) some other place as shall be specified by our seconds.

I shall ask and require my good and faithful collegue in Ker Dessel*, MrSpkr to act for me in this matter. No doubt you'll be obliged to PAY someone to act for you but that will be acceptable to us. I'll brook no further conversation with you save through our seconds.

Joe

*Ker Dessel - When You Want to Play CM in the Worst Way

[MrPeng]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lawyer:
Seanachai, you Gnaive Nome, "Yeknodathon" is obviously Peng in Yeknod drag bashing the one thread in the virtual universe that gives constant recognition to his pitiful name. And you answer him with all the silly intensity that you normally save for SSN's. Only Peng and Meeks have the need to adopt alternate egos to spread their senseless bile around like fresh manure on a damp morning.

<hr></blockquote>

Lawyer you tassled loafer wearing, congress schmoozing, attache toting, self aggrandizing THING MrHappy is me in drag, and don't you forget it.

And Noba-lad, If you look at the Lorak site you will find that there are Ozzie bastidges there with the Asterisk of Shame firmly pinned to their too wide lapels. This Olde one can rip through stralians like semi-digested habanero peppers through a virgin (get em bauaus) nether sphincter.

Peng

[bauhaus]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
[QB(oh for the love of Pete, it's BATTLE hardened you Ozzie goof),
Joe[/QB]<hr></blockquote>

Ozzie goof? Hope you're not referring to me.....I made the mistake of letting an Ozzie goof stay at my house once.....still fumigating. Now if you're referring to Mace, Ozzie goof is correct. I live in the southern most parts of Wisconsin according to an Uber Lizard.You git! I'll be checking my email soon....and from what I remember I believe we're tied at one game a piece. Do I need to remind you of the single greatest turn in CM history. Mr. Six pieces of armor dead in less than a minute.....'nough said.

[bauhaus]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna:


Perhaps the Herald should do an in-depth study of rural bushfire brigades that they could find someone of experience to cover. Oh, and be sure to bring along a photograhper.

[ 12-22-2001: Message edited by: Goanna ]<hr></blockquote>

Nipple rubber!

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by bauhaus:


Ozzie goof? Hope you're not referring to me.....I made the mistake of letting an Ozzie goof stay at my house once.....still fumigating. Now if you're referring to Mace, Ozzie goof is correct. I live in the southern most parts of Wisconsin according to an Uber Lizard.You git! I'll be checking my email soon....and from what I remember I believe we're tied at one game a piece. Do I need to remind you of the single greatest turn in CM history. Mr. Six pieces of armor dead in less than a minute.....'nough said.<hr></blockquote>It's all the blasted Australians you know. One just naturally equates noisome, irritating and disgusting folk with them and places any such in their camp without thinking. I'd apologize but I really don't care, I mean Wisconsin is NEARLY as bad as Australia when you get right down to it.

Tied, yes, but let's not forget that while YOU required the Single Luckiest Turn in CM History in order to eak out a win, I slaughtered you in grand style DESPITE your gamey last minute flag rush with crews and so forth.

The setup is in the mail, unfortunately I chose, without looking too carefully, some abortion slapped together by Andreas. Hell, we may be fighting Nazgul together for all I know.

Joe

[bauhaus]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:


You should have seen the four games I've won against Berli (out of 6). You can't begin to understand pain until you've seen what he's had to endure.<hr></blockquote>
I don't know. Losing to me once and drawing twice is pretty painful. Especially since I can't beat Berli and he can't beat you. Then again, you manage to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in all of our games(or somefink like that). You may be an olde one, but you are still a losing gnome of a pillock.

(Sorry coffee is kicking in, that's why so many posts in a row).

[bauhaus]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Noba:
Turkey.
<hr></blockquote>

Simp! Do you not know the difference between a turkey and a gnome? You have got to be cartoonin' me.

[bauhaus]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by AussieJeff:


Ponder that, Sir Seniour Knigget,
AJ<hr></blockquote>


He's an Olde Oneyou two bit convict. Never dishonor an Olde Onewith such a lowly title. And making excuses before you play? Why not just surrender now and save yourself the humiliation?

Coffee......it's such good food.

[bauhaus]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

The setup is in the mail, unfortunately I chose, without looking too carefully, some abortion slapped together by Andreas. Hell, we may be fighting Nazgul together for all I know.

Joe<hr></blockquote>

A setup from Andreas? We are royally screwing the pooch. And let me remind you, the game in which you won was a gamey little setup from the Evil One. I stand little chance in winning to begin with, but when the Evil One decides to put in one snow covered road and give me Tigers to boot. Tigers that decide to immobilise on the one and only road I can cross on......gamey bastich! You are a lowly excuse for a Senior Kannnnniget.

[PawBroon]

Merry ****ing Christmas!!

I heard there is no Christmas,
In the silly Middle East.
No Trees, no Snow, no Santa Claus,
They have Different Religious beliefs.
They Believe in Muhammad,
And not in our Holiday.
And so every December,
I go to the Middle East and say.

Hey there Mr Muslim, Merry ****ing Christmas
Put down that book 'The Koran'
and hear some holiday wishes
Incase you haven't noticed,
it's Jesus's Birthday
So get off you heathen Muslim Ass
And ****ing celebrate.

There is no holiday season in india,
i've heard.
They don't hang up their stockings,
and that is just absurd..
They've never read a Christmas Story,
They Don't know what Rudolph is about.
And that's why in December,
I'll go to india and shout.

Hey there Mr Hinduist, Merry ****ing Christmas
Dring some 'nog, and eat some Beef
and pass it to the Missus
Incase you haven't noticed,
It's Jesus's Birthday
So get off your heathen hindu ass,
And ****ing celebrate.

Now I heard that in Japan,
Everyone just lives in sin.
They pray to several gods,
And put needles in their skin.
On December twenty-fifth,
all they do is eat a cake.
and that is why i'll go to Japan,
and walk around and say.

Hey there Mr Shintoist, Merry ****ing Christmas
God is gonna kick your ass You infidelic pagan scum.
Incase you haven't noticed,
There's festive things to do
So lets all rejoice for Jesus
and Merry ****ing Christmas to you.

On Christmas Day, I travel round the world and say.
Taoists, Korishnas, Buddists
and all you atheists too.
Merry ****ing Christmas to you.

[Andreas]

Aye, a setup by your's truly. So, I wondered what could ever be so bad about it, until I realised that it has little to do with me designing the marvellous piece, getting the last bit of potential performance out of the stupendous piece of software that is CMBO, but more with Joe's mental capacities, and his incessant whinging, like a bloody Pommy.

I can already see the picture, when his kids have to tell his toddler-age grandchildren to please be gentle to the Father Jack impression in the corner, and let him win at Memory once in a while, even though he can not remember where the other pink elephant in a ballerina's dress card he picked up a mere three seconds ago is now situated. It must be a tough life if a game of stone/rock/scissors is a mental challenge of the highest order. Please everyone remind me to make some 'special', Joe-size games in the future. I.e. easy ones, preferably without troops he can lead astray, or maybe just without troops.

Apart from that I am having a miserable time because I can not watch the damage that various of you nitwits inflict on each other while playtesting my forthcoming works of glory. Being at home and without CMBO is a real try. Well, at least I have the intelligent conversation of my 5-month old nephew, and that is more than I could expect of the lot of you.

I hope you all have a rotten Christmas and that your prime gifts will be felt slippers.

[Joe Shaw]

Bauhaus, they were mostly KTs, not Tigers and while some few were immobilized due to snow there were also some few OTHERS that were immobilized in the sense of smoking, smouldering, destroyed HULKS immobilized AS WELL. And let's not even mention the utter disaster on your right flank where every time anything with wheels or tracks stuck it's little nose around the treeline it got potted by my 76mm ATG.

Pawbroon ... cute, but I'm afraid that one is a bit beyond the pale. May we ask that you delete it on account of how MadMatt won't like the language or the religious references? Sorry pal.

Andreas, no need to be snippy about it. I'm sure that some of your scenarios are wonderfully balanced and fair creations that do honor to your skill and knowledge ... I've yet to find one but I'm sure there are SOME!

Oh ... Merry Christmas my friend, we see too little of you here.

Joe

[Panzer Leader]

Pawbroon that was a little frightening. Since when did you start caring about souls you soulless sin-merchant?


You are a proven heathen interested only in the joys of flesh, and on top of that (and worse in my book) you're FRENCH! Sorry bud, you got a one way ticket to Berli's house for X-mas, and he'll prolly let you crash on the "love-seat" till the new year rolls in.

Hope you like Persephone's (boldened 'cause I heard she's HOT) cookin'!

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrPeng:
This Olde one can rip through stralians like semi-digested habanero peppers through a virgin<hr></blockquote>

I made you fight quite hard for your victory, so I like to think I was more a slight bowel obstruction rather than a runny motion.

Mace

[Joe Shaw]

OFFICIAL JUSTICARIATE ANNOUNCEMENT

Be it known to one and all Serfs, Squires, Knights, Seniour Knights and Olde Ones of the Peng Challenge Thread that the SSN known as Iron Chef Sakai has been Sent To COVENTRY!.

The requisite ruling having been established by the Olde Ones met in conclave and published by the Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread and ratified by the membership by virtue of no dissent after a 24 hour period, it is hereby adjudged and ruled that NO member of the CessPool shall respond in any way to any future post of said SSN made within the confines of the CessPool.

By order of the Olde Ones and the Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread

So Let It Be Written, So Let It Be Done!

12/22/2001

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Noba:
We will be victorious ! We shall overcome the foreign stench of the 'pool. To be "Champions of the Pool" by RIGHT, and of course by naturalness too ! Perhaps an, 'UBER LEVEL' above all others in the pool will be ours. All others will be as SSN's to our lofty gaze. We, the young, brave AUSTRALIANS, will RULE.

There is no-one in the 'pool that can stand up to us. I call upon you all to join our crusade. To end the dribble of foreigners who dare slight our hard fought and won reputation as the Best in the world.<hr></blockquote>
What an utter load of tripe! Goanna is the only Ozzie to show any talent to date (and he's an import). Keep yapping boy-o and I may have to take up Seanachai's failed crusade

[PawBroon]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Pawbroon[/b] ... cute, but I'm afraid that one is a bit beyond the pale. May we ask that you delete it on account of how MadMatt won't like the language or the religious references? Sorry pal.<hr></blockquote>

Not mine.
Tis from South Park and was sung by Mr Garrison.
It being from that cute little anime thingie, don't expect much in the way of lyrics.
The song is very catchy BTW.
It's all about bigotery Joe.
I'm surprised that even South Park is beyond your ball park...

[Hanns]

Holy Crap Mr. Garrison! Something nasty crawled in PawBroon and got him all riled up! You bastard! You killed IronsClothes****aake!

BTW booger, err... slobber, no that's not it. Umm... nobber, yeah that's it. Here's a little piece of belated death winging it's way 'cross the ether. I had better things (young and female) to attend to last night. The pressure in your skull isn't a migraine it's your sense of impending doom. Suck it up boy and try not to soil yourself if you have enough backbone to die on your feet.

Hanns

[Lawyer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Lawyer I find you to be an affront to good and decent CessPoolers everywhere, in fact I find you to be an affront to the rest of the CessPoolers and obviously that's a MUCH larger portion of the Hole. I take it upon myself to humble you sir, to teach you some manners and to bring you down a notch or two.

In short sir, I challenge you to meet me upon the field of honor, or (as you're likely to be hard pressed to get a pass there given your reputation) some other place as shall be specified by our seconds.

I shall ask and require my good and faithful collegue in Ker Dessel*, MrSpkr to act for me in this matter. No doubt you'll be obliged to PAY someone to act for you but that will be acceptable to us. I'll brook no further conversation with you save through our seconds.

Joe

*Ker Dessel - When You Want to Play CM in the Worst Way<hr></blockquote>

Holy ****e, Batman! It looks like the faulty regulator on Joe Blow's canister of helium finally gave out, and now poor Joe's gasbag has inflated his ego beyond control.

I think Joe Shaw actually challenged me to a game of CM. Quick, Olde Ones, has this ever happened before? I realize Joe has inverted everything since that girl in ninth grade laughed at the pimples on his cheeks. After all, Joe reasoned, a pimple is just an inverted dimple, and so it is with his rants and raves here in the Cesspool.

Of course, accepting Joe's challenge may prove to be more paper work and bureaucracy than a roomful of Pakastani mailmen figuring out the postage to Kabul. And I'm not familiar with Mr. Tinkle's Rules of Order that Joe worships in detail.

Nonetheless, this is a historic moment in the history of something or other. So the Lawyer shall take this rare opportunity to slash the frail tethers that keep Joe barely attached to this solar system, if not planet Earth itself.

As Joe apparently sees it necessary to drag in others to start a simple game, I shall nominate OGSF to be my second. I'm currently pulling out the nosehairs of his wee spaniel one-by-one, but I'm sure he would want to be part of this historic moment, having failed in multiple attempts to get a game from Joe Shaw himself.

So the Fires of Legal Hell shall be lit to blazing glory in the Pure Quest to beat Joe so badly that he'll beg to become an Mormon Australian. A more fitting end to The Evil Presence Among Us could not be ordained.

Better get used to humming "I Fought the Law, and the Law Won" Joe-Joe.

[ 12-22-2001: Message edited by: Lawyer ]</p>

[Iron Chef Sakai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lord General MB:
Soldiers,

CHEF Get me a turn so that I can get around to killing you!

PENG Burn baby.... thought I'd buy all Tigers? Hehe.... tongue.gif <hr></blockquote>
if i could only load the game you'd be toast. does anyone know of a free zip program that could zip and unzip files?

[AUSSIEJEFF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lawyer:


Holy ****e, Batman! It looks like the faulty regulator on Joe Blow's canister of helium finally gave out, and now poor Joe's gasbag has inflated his ego beyond control........ So the Fires of Legal Hell shall be lit to blazing glory in the Pure Quest to beat Joe so badly that he'll beg to become an Mormon Australian. A more fitting end to The Evil Presence Among Us could not be ordained.

Better get used to humming "I Fought the Law, and the Law Won" Joe-Joe.

[ 12-22-2001: Message edited by: Lawyer ]<hr></blockquote>


NO!! ...... please LAWLESS.......fergawdsake NO!!

NOT ANOTHER RUDDY MORMON!! We already have quite enough of THOSE here as 'tis, thank you very much!! Even a limp CHALLENGE from your goodself - yes ..... that would be quite OK ...... I could even entertain Xmassy Cheery type thoughts about flogging your puny forces. But a resounding NAY to MOREMONS!!

[PSSSTT:: Hey, JOE - be that it may, however, another piccy of [nudge-wink]wife #13[/wink-nudge] wouldn't go astray this Yuletide!!But shhhh...... please don't tell the others I asked for that, though.....]

Proud to be a consummate CM loser and Seniour member of the ASSN. (Australian Scum-Sucking Newbies)

AJ

[ 12-22-2001: Message edited by: AussieJeff ]</p>

[Panzer Leader]

ICS, ever heard of WINZIP? Do a search.

[AUSSIEJEFF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by bauhaus:



He's an Olde Oneyou know...
<hr></blockquote>

OK ALREADY!!! ........ so his title is SKOO SEANACHAI? Or should it be OOKS SEANACHAI?????

And would you mind telling me how long it will take yon SKOO and/or OOKS SEANACHAIto post me his PURCHASE OPTIONS TURN?? Ye gods - it's already been two days hence I posted MINE .....

With our Battle of the Conscripts having 25 turns to go this will take (err ...ummm.....2 posts per turn (me) x 1 day each + 2 posts per turn (him) x at least 3 days per post/per turn = .. ???)... YIKES!!! This could be MONTHS in the offing ....... sigh......

Your sage [good cooking herb, that] and terse [as always] advice would be appreciated in this mutter.

AJ - ASSN.

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:
ICS, ever heard of WINZIP? Do a search.<hr></blockquote>

*SIGH*

It didn't take long did it?
Mere nano-seconds from the banishment of a certain non-entity to 'Coventry' and we have a (temporary now I'd wager) 'pooler responding to the aforesaid non-entity.

Sir Shaw!, I call upon you to ajudicate upon this flagrant transgression of an official cesspool operating procedure.

How un-surprising that it was PL who broke the decree.

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Which erstwhile reminds me S NOBA ....... how IS your joust with yon OOKS AND/OR SKOO SEANACHAI progressing????

Satisfactorily???


AJ - Proud to be a member of the ASSN.

[OGSF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

What an utter load of tripe! Goanna is the only Ozzie to show any talent to date (and he's an import). Keep yapping boy-o and I may have to take up Seanachai's failed crusade<hr></blockquote>


At's a sad an' pathetic thing tae behold. At saims ye didnae tak tha teem tae review tha pedigree o' wun particular laddie wah kicked ye spotty raid arrrse aboot tha place lak some rhesus monkey blessed wi' tha criminal cunning o' an East End dustman. Tha's reeght, ye snot encrusted cardigan wearin' foot stool, ye've already bin beaten bah an Aussie, at least twice.

Sae wha didnye tak oop Shawnakay's crrrusade, an' mak at easier on tha raist o' tha buggers? Ye festerin', weepin' boil o' a scab nibblin' leper's limp.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lawyer:


As Joe apparently sees it necessary to drag in others to start a simple game, I shall nominate OGSF to be my second. I'm currently pulling out the nosehairs of his wee spaniel one-by-one, but I'm sure he would want to be part of this historic moment, having failed in multiple attempts to get a game from Joe Shaw himself.
<hr></blockquote>

Och, Ah'll bae ye second ye mud clump on a Frenchman's boot - bah ainly cos ye oop tae slap tha tackkleberries o' Joe Ah cudnae plah ye just noo cos Ah farrrted an' mah haid caved ain Shaw. Wha di Ah haiftae di, mon?

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABC DJimmy

[Elvis]

I can't hold my tongue any longer...MrSpanker is an idiot..a moron...a numbskull..a mook...a chooch..a hammerhead..a brainless twit..a coward...I guess you get my point.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:
ICS, ever heard of WINZIP? Do a search.<hr></blockquote>Panzer Leader, are you naturally stupid or did you have to study to get that way? What part of <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>... it is hereby adjudged and ruled that NO member of the CessPool
shall respond in any way to any future post of said SSN made within the confines of the CessPool. <hr></blockquote> did you NOT understand? Now unless you've decided that you no longer wish to be a member of the CessPool (and in that case don't let the door hit you in the butt on the way out), kindly refrain from future communication within the CessPool with that SSN. Sheesh, how hard can it be (no Bauhaus, no really, it's just another figure of speech, I REALLY, I mean I REALLY don't want to ... no, no thanks I'll take your word for it, no ... GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME YOU CLOWN! I'LL DECK YOU I SWEAR TO GAWD!)

Pawbroon, at what point did you get the impression that South Park is acceptable within the bounds of the CessPool? Monty Python, of course, Bored of the Rings, certainly, at times Hitchhiker's Guide but South Park ... uh, uh, never been done and won't by GAWD be done on MY watch ... next thing you know the clown will be posting Beavis and Butthead or worse yet that paragon of French humor Jerry Lewis!

It's a close call Pawbroon, without attribution some might take it for YOUR freshly molded wit (it wasn't funny so THAT part would fit) but I'll leave it up to MadMatt. We do, however, need to be careful in future given our strict rules on such things and the obvious density of most of the SSNs.

Joe

[Joe Shaw]

MrSpkr, my challenge apparently having been accepted by the Consigliori I shall be contacting you via email with my suggestions as to size, forces etc. Lawyer needless to say, has appointed a complete dolt for his second so you may need SEVERAL iterations of the situation before he gets it but do your best.

Obviously Lawyer, being the challenged party (in more ways than one if you get my drift), has the choice of scenario, QB parameters etc, but I trust that some negotiation will be allowed.

Joe

[Stuka]

Tut, Tut, Tut, Elvis and Joe.
"Time to post, time to return files"

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Pawbroon, at what point did you get the impression that South Park is acceptable within the bounds of the CessPool? Monty Python, of course, Bored of the Rings, certainly, at times Hitchhiker's Guide but South Park ... uh, uh, never been done and won't by GAWD be done on MY watch ... next thing you know the clown will be posting Beavis and Butthead or worse yet that paragon of French humor Jerry Lewis! <hr></blockquote>
Yeah, Pawbroon, respect his authoritie!

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by OGSF:
At saims ye didnae tak tha teem tae review tha pedigree o' wun particular laddie wah kicked ye spotty raid arrrse aboot tha place lak some rhesus monkey blessed wi' tha criminal cunning o' an East End dustman.<hr></blockquote>
Oh, I am quite aware of your pedigree... (spaniel mutt).

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:
Tut, Tut, Tut, Elvis and Joe.
"Time to post, time to return files"<hr></blockquote>

To everything, turn, turn, turn,
There is a season, turn, turn, turn,
And a time for every Tiger under the gun.

Thank ya, thank ya very much.

Joe

[Goanna]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Lawyer:
and even the faux Arab Goanna all have a Date with Death at the Hands of the Law<hr></blockquote>

I will definitely be your huckleberry when you find room on your dance card, bayeetch. It will certainly be cathartic for me to take out years of abuse by various legal systems on one so richly deserving as yourself.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> . . . can rip through stralians like semi-digested habanero peppers through a virgin<hr></blockquote>

Methinks that Peng has once again proven himself to be the poster-child for the attention span disorder society. A card carrying asterisk bearer I may be, but that was but an anomaly in what has otherwise been a nightmare of taunts, horror flicks and mea culpa's on your part. Shall I remind you of "South of Sword"; or your last stillborn assault on the forces of scalynes, or have the shudders already begun? Here's hoping that Santa replaces your worn out dummy-pipe this week.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> bauhaus:
I made the mistake of letting an Ozzie goof stay at my house once.....still fumigating<hr></blockquote>

Sure, take credit for hosting, if by hosting you mean directing me to huddle in a cold dank celler with a few rags to clutch after being poisoned and subjected to the abhorrent behaviour of the fruit of your loins. However, counselling is going quite well and I should be prepared for further visiting in a year or so.

{rubs nipples} Ahhhhhh. . . and, what's your point exactly?

Let me get this straight. bauhaus has never beaten Berli who is Seanachai's bunny, but bauhaus treats Seanchai like the proverbial red-headed step child. Sounds like a menage-o-trois of ineptitude to me.


<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>OGNeedISayWhoSF:
Tha's reeght, ye snot encrusted cardigan wearin' foot stool, ye've already bin beaten bah an Aussie, at least twice. <hr></blockquote>
As have you, ya kilt wearing sad excuse for a celtic bag of English protoplasm. That's right, I called you English. What are you prepared to do about it?

BTW, nice work Panzer Leader (unbolded to show disdain). A mere 7 posts after the matter was settled, you go an prove yourself the microcephalic we all suspected as well as turning the MBT into kiddie help line. You bring honour to us all - PILLOCK!

Turns for all on the morrow as I had a bit of a brain cramp myself in fleeing the office last night and managed to leave the disk containing incoming rounds here. All the better though since now you will be able to feat on the hate the ÜberLizard has delivered you while bloating yourself on the spoils of the fat bastard in the red suit like the capitalist swine you all are.

[ 12-23-2001: Message edited by: Goanna ]</p>

[Moriarty]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:
I can't hold my tongue any longer...MrSpanker is an idiot..a moron...a numbskull..a mook...a chooch..a hammerhead..a brainless twit..a coward...I guess you get my point.<hr></blockquote>

You lost, huh?

[Iron Chef Sakai]

Let the Games begin!!! Lord General, i have sent you the first turn of the rest of your life.

I am looking forward to your forces impaling themselves on the unbreakable pike of what is my defense.

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Late Greetings fellow Scumbags.......

In the Spirit of XCessmas (and before the accursed planetary time differences confuse the issue) I would like to offer the following of my newly acquainted Pengpals a "toast":

JOE - A thin slice of Wry with vinegar???

SEANACHAI - A thick slice of Aussie Damper with Vegemite??

HANNS - I think a piping HOT, juicy MUFFin, dripping with sour cream would do nicely here...

BAUHAUS - A very thin slice of dry rice cracker, burnt to a cinder with no topping whatsoever - just the way you like it, Sire!!

MACE - Hmmm... I think a rough hewn slice of Roggenbrot topped with some of Nana's Shepherds Pie should suffice...

PENG - No less than a whole LOAF of XXXX Special, (my own recipe) made with 4X the recommended amount of Brewer's Yeast would suffice your goodself. It will certainly raise your spirits some...


To everyone else in this rank arena (no pun intended - crap brand anyway), I will take this opportunity wish you a very Merry SOD ORF!!! and a delightfully SPITEFUL New Year. May your arty fairly SHZZZ!!(5.)

{5. shzzz. n. a snarling artillery round, as in No One Smiled on Leyte by Deane Marks.}

AJ-SASSN

[Noba]

See what happens when I go to the beach for some R + R...

Happy-hairy-Hanns has finally sent a file. Well this will be a fun game - playing in the mud is not exactly a good match. But what can you expect from a PeterNZ game. Migraine my arse ! Load up on the Panadol boyo, your time has come.

Berli. You couldn't take up a collection in church full of Bill Gate-is. How are we expected to take someone who plays with bras seriously ? Oh, sad ! They are due to your misshaped, degenerate body needing support. Well in that case, you have my pity.

I can't remember what JoJo or Loser
said so soddit !

Peng - who cares what he/she said. Inconsequential little git.


Noba.

[ 12-23-2001: Message edited by: Noba ]</p>

[Patch]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna:

Aye, she’s a nasty piece of work, that one. Having met her personally, I can tell you that she is a paragon of her species (i.e a harpy).<hr></blockquote>

Look here Scaly Lizard, you have no proof that I am a harpy...but I do have proof for all to see, that you are a bleeding Pommie.

Persephone
http://www.nwherald.com/images/test/Pommie.jpg

[AUSSIEJEFF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Patch:


Look here Scaly Lizard, you have no proof that I am a harpy...but I do have proof for all to see, that you are a bleeding Pommie.

Persephone
http://www.nwherald.com/images/test/Pommie.jpg<hr></blockquote>

Ha!! Good one Patch!! Note tho' that yon "Royals" are in fact watching a flypast of the mighty RAAF F111's..... WHOOO.O..O...SH!!!!

AJ - ASSN.

[MrPeng]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Noba:
Yip! YIP! arf arf arf grrrrr.

Peng - who cares what he/she said. Inconsequential little git.


Noba.

[ 12-23-2001: Message edited by: Noba ]<hr></blockquote>

Yes, that's me. MrInconsequentialPeng.

I am so unrelentingly idiotic that I forgot I was posting to the "Look at me, I'm Noba and I'm really cool!" thread. [tugs forlock]My humblest apologies, MrNoba, sir.[/tugs forelock] for forgetting my station.

Please note the NAME of the thread before you start slapping at the keyboard with your wrists again. If it wasn't for me, there wouldn't be a MBT you drooling, antipodean, sonofawombat's body louse. Pack up your PC or IMac or whatever the hell you "use" and send it back to the manufacturer. You are too effing stupid to own it. If I were of "no consequence," you complete sodding moron, would there be a "Peng Challenge Thread?" OF COURSE NOT.

Oh sure, you have made enough people sick, angry and confused to have your own unlimited series of threads named after you, right?

Oh that's riiiggghhht, YOU DON'T have your own thread named after you! Jeepers, that's a shame, since well, golly, if I'm "Inconsequential," that must make you, well, hell, what is of smaller consequence than the "Inconsequential?" hmmm, lesseee, must be "NOTHING!" No Baaaaa! (that's your cue, Macey.)

Glad we had the chance to sort all that out. Now, here's $3.49, go buy some drain cleaner and drink it. Idiot.

Peng

edited to add more insults

[ 12-23-2001: Message edited by: MrPeng ]</p>

[Elvis]

Dear Stuka,

The last file received from you was 12/20 743am (local) and the last one sent to you was 12/20 1023am (local). I shall resend because you are a known wanker. MrSpanker is just a jellyhead.

Love,
Elvis

[Andreas]

Girraway Joe, and stop being nice, alright. The reason I don't come to visit here more often is that the amount of vitriol needed to sustain a presence here that is worth having needs time to build itself up. I hate the all clubby atmosphere, and personally would advocate machine-gunning the kneecaps of the lot of you, if only I could find the energy to do so.

So there.

Oh yes, and in case you have not noticed, I just finished reading 'Quartered safe out here' and it is a grand book, awreet. Get it and read it. MacDonald Fraser certainly knows what to do with the Hun and the Jap. Made me laugh. Good man, I am impressed.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:
Dear Stuka,

The last file received from you was 12/20 743am (local) and the last one sent to you was 12/20 1023am (local). I shall resend because you are a known wanker. MrSpanker is just a jellyhead.

Love,
Elvis<hr></blockquote>What was the file number, that might help him ... it's also shorter than having to spell out date and time ... but then you know that.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Andreas ceased creating unbalanced scenarios long enough to admit: Oh yes, and in case you have not noticed, I just finished reading 'Quartered safe out here' and it is a grand book, awreet. Get it and read it. MacDonald Fraser certainly knows what to do with the Hun and the Jap. Made me laugh. Good man, I am impressed.<hr></blockquote> Fraser is absolutely the best. The Flashman series is, of course, his best known but don't overlook the "McAuslan" series of short stories. It's roughly based upon his service in North Africa with a Highland Regiment and is GREAT. AND he does a Scot accent better than OGSF.

Now go back to your maps and OOBs and ... stuff.

Joe

[CMplayer]

Some fellow I'm playing claims to have been a denizen of this thread... a guy called Hofbauer. He's whupping me so it hurts too. Does the name ring a bell? Is he really an awol peng-floozy or is he just pulling my leg?

Oh and Hannsel you numbskull send a turn. BTW you're losing. Not that it matters, of course.

And Pampers Needer you scumnull, send a turn too, wouldya. I'd like to get your evisceration over with before Easter, thx.

now merry x-mas to you all, you pack of freaks.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by CMplayer:
Some fellow I'm playing claims to have been a denizen of this thread... a guy called Hofbauer. He's whupping me so it hurts too. Does the name ring a bell? Is he really an awol peng-floozy or is he just pulling my leg?

Oh and Hannsel you numbskull send a turn. BTW you're losing. Not that it matters, of course.

And Pampers Needer you scumnull, send a turn too, wouldya. I'd like to get your evisceration over with before Easter, thx.

now merry x-mas to you all, you pack of freaks.<hr></blockquote>Nah, if he DID show up here he sure didn't last too long but I don't recall him. I DO think it's a mark of our superiority that we now have CessPool wannabees out there.

Btw, if you ever have a question about the Old Guard (i.e. before Lorak had to leave) you can check at:

Lorak's CessPool Page (http://www.geocities.com/lrmcgarvey/cesspool.html)

Joe

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

This is sort of a game update. Maybe you gentlemen could help me out here. I’m currently playing Croda and want to know how best to really get him. I have my shermans grouped in 4 sets of 3 and they are in a wedgie formation. I have approx 30+ Zooks doing a chorus line rendition of “I’m just wild about Pawbroon. I’m leaving both of my Pershings back with a company of American Airborne. Here is my plan: I want to put all of my arty assets in one building and then surround the building with jeeps. Of course, the jeeps will have snipers in them for protection. I’ll take the remaining four companies of infantry and flank his main body while penetrating his rear echelon repeatedly. There is no flag and we only have 12 turns, so I have to do a quickie on him. I’ll then pimp slap his reserve and attrit his man-hoover. I will then do my coop de grace by packing an entire battalion into one building ala volkswagonesque stuff.

So, here is my question. What should I get my cats this Christmas?

[OGSF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
AND he does a Scot accent better than OGSF.

Joe<hr></blockquote>

Whereas ye ha' go' tha mealy mouthed backslidin' challenge dodgin' ponce doon pat, an' ye?

Af'n mah wee span'l cam aintae mah hoose wi tha leeks o' yoo ain at's soft and gentle mooth Jimmy, Ah'd call at tae mae from tha other seed o' tha slidin' glass door. After tha impact o' ats Joe Lance mae boils an' Ah'll gi' ye tuppence Shaw laden gob agin tha glass ha jammed ats loathsome load doon ats flegm slicked throoat, Ah'd mak mae a nice cup o' tea an' dram an' set mae doon tae warrm mahsailf bah tha roarin' candle tae wait. But noo afore Ah'd duct taped a plastic zip-lock luncheon bag o'er mah wee span'ls arrrse.

Whain ye were expailled aintae tha bag bah tha inevitable series o' violent an' moist span'l poots followin' ye rancid digestion ain ats guts, Ah'd zip tha zip-lock part o' tha luncheon bag and detach tha bag o' Joe Di ye wannae a boiled sweety? Shaw wi' a quick flick o' mah manly wrist. Ah'd thain clip tha span'l fur awah fraim tha duct tape an' save at ain tha oold cigar box fer Shawnakeye trophies.

As fer tha bag o' yoo, Jimmy - ye'd bae tied tae a kite string an' tethered tae tha tail o' mah neighbour's stankin' ginger cat. Ah'd thain ralease mah bum sore span'l after tha wretched beast tae chase at awah ain tha dareection o' the 27 million volt poower lines marchin' doon tha center o' Glen MacOGSF. Meanwhile Ah'd bae sellin' tickets tae tha local's tae come an' watch fer tha blue/green flash o'tha poot bag o' Joe Scratch an' sniff Shaw as at hit's tha poower lines, an' tha black puff o' smoke curlin' oop fraim where tha neighbour's moggy used tae bae.

Pillock.

Speakin' o' pillocks, Speedy ye pillock, ha ye noo sorted oot ye email yet mon? Pillock.

An' Goanna, ye road kill fodder, ye've crossed a leen wi' ye filthy "English" comment. An' ye knoo at. At saims ye've fergotten aboot tha birch thrashin' ye received ain tha second gam we played, an' blown ye accidental firrrst gam win o'er mah brave laddies ain tha bocage death trap aintae some mythological triumph o' tha ancient Goanna clan. Ain ye ain meend ainly, meend ye. Ah'll bae sendin' ye a come-uppence Jimmy. Ye kin commaince ye tremblin' at ye leisure.

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABC DJimmy

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Whereas ye ha' go' tha mealy mouthed backslidin' challenge dodgin' ponce doon pat, an' ye?<hr></blockquote> I told you MrSpkr, you'll have tough sledding tying to get anything comprehensible out of this one. May I suggest that you DON'T try to make him mad. Not that it's not amusing as hell, but we do need to get the game going eventually and with his gobbling and red faced, spittle flecked, hand clenched sporran waving rage it would likely take forever ... besides, being Scottish he has no honor so won't understand the finer points of the Code Duello.

MrSpkr: Very well Sir OGSF I presume you've consulted with your principal, what suggestions for the game do you have?

OGSF: Ooch lad, we'll jist have the Lawyer to squat 'neath a wee boulder 'n joomp oot and coot Soor Joe's legs oot froom unnder 'im!

MrSpkr: Yes ... yes, quite so Sir OGSF however, allow me to check ... {a ruffling of pages} ... ah a pity, but the most recent Code Duello HAS disallowed THAT particular tactic, pity. Here you can read it yourself.

OGSF: Ah weel, uh that is lad, ya see ... I'll uh ... be takin' yer wurd fer it.

MrSpkr: Ah yes, quite reasonable of you, perhaps I might suggest an alternative emplacement strategy that you and your principal might find more accomodating to our mutual goal of enabling the commencment of a game?

OGSF: ... tha'd bee a gud theng then wood it?

Joe

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Noba:
Berli. You couldn't take up a collection in church full of Bill Gate-is. How are we expected to take someone who plays with bras seriously ?<hr></blockquote>
Ok, here we have proof that Ozzies aren't the brightest bulbs in the genetic chandelier.

uno) You couldn't take up a collection in church full of Bill Gate-is...
No screamin' eagle ****e! Who the Hell could? Church full of Bill Gateses, sheesh... what a nong.

primus) How are we expected to take someone who plays with bras seriously ?
How else do you get to the treat inside? I'm not sure I trust anyone that doesn't play with bras.

[Lars]

Oh dear God, what was I drinking last night?

Uzo? Chianti? Sambuca? Hacker Pschorr Alt? Apfelkorn? Guinness? Purple Hooters?

What’s that?

All of them?

Yeesh, time for a Bloody Mary.

P.S. You all remind me of something I found in the woods steaming under the south end of a northbound moose. Merry feckin Christmas to the gamey lot of ya.

{edited for the Uber one's sake, twice, dammit}

[ 12-23-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]

[ 12-23-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]</p>

[Andreas]

It is Hacker Pschorr and Apfelkorn, you bloody twat. I feel compelled to fill you with a dose of Uzi, 9°.

Jesus Christ in a barn.

[Stuka]

What the feck's an 'Uzi 9 degrees'?
A machine pistol out and about on a brisk morning stroll?

Knock, knock: "Who's there?"

"Uzi"

"Uzi who?"

"Uzi 9 millemetre!"

Muahahahha hah aha aaaaa!

Ahhh Sod Off, you had to be there.

[Lars]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Andreas:
It is Hacker Pschorr and Apfelkorn, you bloody twat. I feel compelled to fill you with a dose of Uzi, 9°.

Jesus Christ in a barn.<hr></blockquote>

You think I feel good enough to check spelling?

Pillock.

[Elvis]

Dear Mr. Shaw,

It was much more convenient for me to type out the time and dates of the last emails sent then it would be for me to mess with a PBEM cluttered with turn files. Since my computer crash I have continued with two games that were being played before the crash (it would be 3 if the very efficient, turn numbering, PBEM nonhelper user MrSpanker hadn't forgotten his password...which is another issue I will go on about some other time) and in my PBEM folder I currently have 2 files.........nothing could be more perfect than that.

Love,
Elvis

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:
Since my computer crash I have continued with two games that were being played before the crash (it would be 3 if the very efficient, turn numbering, PBEM nonhelper user MrSpanker hadn't forgotten his password...which is another issue I will go on about some other time) and in my PBEM folder I currently have 2 files.........nothing could be more perfect than that.
<hr></blockquote>

Well, except for the fact that you are getting your arse kicked in one of those files by your very favorite guy to hate; <big>ME!</big>

If you lose much more metal, I'll soon have to worry about arrows smeared with frog exudings and GI feces.

I hate you lots!

Slaps and punches,

Leeo

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:
Dear Mr. Shaw,

It was much more convenient for me to type out the time and dates of the last emails sent then it would be for me to mess with a PBEM cluttered with turn files. Since my computer crash I have continued with two games that were being played before the crash (it would be 3 if the very efficient, turn numbering, PBEM nonhelper user MrSpanker hadn't forgotten his password...which is another issue I will go on about some other time) and in my PBEM folder I currently have 2 files.........nothing could be more perfect than that.

Love,
Elvis<hr></blockquote>Oh come on Elvis ... you know you WANT to number turns, yeah you may have sworn off them but deep down inside ... {ElvisNMace001} ... you know that you really WANT, you NEED that rush you get from ... PengVElvis034} ... a really well filled out, hot, sweaty ... {ElvisPlaysEmma067} numbered file, just lying there, trembling, waiting with eager, quick breath for you ... YOU Elvis to make it COMPLETE, to fill in the blanks, to make it MORE than just a File, to make it ... a NUMBERED FILE ... yes, Yes, YES, YEEEsssssss ... {ElvisVElvisXXX}! See Elvis ... it's Waiting for you.

Joe

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Leeo:
Well, except for the fact that you are getting your arse kicked in one of those files by your very favorite guy to hate; <big>ME!</big>
<hr></blockquote>

What a coincidence, in his other file, Elvis is getting the 'Spanking'O'death' at my hand.

*giggle* Didn't Elvis once make a claim about being undefeatable?

[Leeo]

Ahh, my former liege Sir Stuka, it appears we've got his number. (Get it?! Number? Hah hah hahaaa!!) All in the lineage, eh?

[Moriarty]

Good to see my former vassal lord and vassal lord once removed are doing well against Elvis. Keep the tradition alive.

[Elvis]

Dear Mr. Shaw,

The only thing that got me excited about your post was the mention of Emma. I would number files to play Emma.

Love and kisses,
Elvis

P.S. LEON and Stupor...it is true that at one point I was close to unbeatable but the rest of the pack is starting to come up to speed. You are both beating me at this moment but it isn't over until Mace sings.

[LGMB]

Soldiers,

PENG claims that I will be humilaited (again, and not just for my spelling) soon. He claims that the release of certain "whinniny emails," will be the source of my demise.... But it also seems to me, that I'm winning the current game: Perhaps a desperate attempt to save himself from destruction?

CHEF You are a slow, fetid, piece of zuccini. Send me a turn or die a thousand deaths!!! tongue.gif

EDIT: Me no shpell gud.

[ 12-23-2001: Message edited by: Lord General MB ]</p>

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:
P.S. LEON and Stupor...it is true that at one point I was close to unbeatable but the rest of the pack is starting to come up to speed. You are both beating me at this moment but it isn't over until Mace sings.<hr></blockquote>

To be fair, I have to admit that I seem to have been given divine advantage in our game, Ambusho of Shadows. However, My henceforth trashing of that Elvis bloke is not a unique occurence, for it seems that I have developed a habit of teaching him a lesson over our past few meetings. Fact be told, He beat me like a drum in our first outing (a result of my initial "PengChallenge"). Since then, I have bested him every time we met (which I reckon to be about 4).

I hate him, and I know he hates me like a brother, but it pains me some small bit, to have so utterly kicked the crap out of him, but what the hey! It's the HollyDays! I hate him too!!

Where was I? Ahh, it don't matter, as I am now off of the antibiotics, and now able to spew bile be-fitting a malt-liquor imbibing pustule.

Piss Off!

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Leeo:
To be fair, I have to admit that I seem to have been given divine advantage in our game<hr></blockquote>

I must agree with you here, I am playing Andreas' 'last man standing' and it appears that I have lots more pointy, 'splodey stuff than he does. What armour he has left has been sniped at, shot at and generally herded into little corners where I'm sure they don't want to be.

I would almost feel sorry for him in his current predicament if I didn't think he was such a tosser.

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:

I would almost feel sorry for him in his current predicament if I didn't think he was such a tosser.<hr></blockquote>


Label given, label deserved. He's a tosser, to be sure. Oh yes, and I <big>Hates</big> him.

[LGMB]

Soldiers,

A bluffer that PENG is. Will he not yeild to his inner desire of humility? He refuses to humilte me.... the fool! Am I not worth the humilty? The insults? Am I that low? Anyway, I hope a bucket of nails falls on your head.

Die alot now.

[Stuka]

Well, the time has come my Kameraden, this will be my final post until after the fat git in the red suit has been.

To one and all (even Elvis), I wish you and yours a very merry, happy and safe Christmas!

Salute!

[MrPeng]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lord General MB:
Soldiers,

A bluffer that PENG is. Will he not yeild to his inner desire of humility? He refuses to humilte me.... the fool! Am I not worth the humilty? The insults? Am I that low? Anyway, I hope a bucket of nails falls on your head.

Die alot now.<hr></blockquote>

Two things:

Zed. "I hope a bucket of nails falls on your head." was one of Meeks's. It was my sig line for a while because I loved and revered and emulated MrMeeks at all times.

plonk. "Die a lot now." (please note correct use of the phrase 'a lot' {"alot" not being a word}) was a bastardization of the line "Depart a lot now, or we make castinets out of your testicals already!" by the French Persons at the castle (maybe the castle ARRRGGGHHH!{?} I can't be bothered to look it up in the script at this juncture.) from the most holi of movies, Monti Python ich den Holi Grailen.

That's all I have to say about that except perhaps that I am curious as to what I would be doing to a particular person if I were to "humilte" him or her? Is that similar to gefilte? Would I be chopping him up mooshing him together with some matzoh and preserving him in a gelatinous fluid?

[old Jewish person's voice] Oy! ya meshugganah! Comovaheah, boy. Have a nice humilte its gud. The humilte at Murray's Deli is fackecht, ya'd havta be a putz to try. This humilte is not so bad like Murray's. Vat! Try it! Ungrateful kid. In my day we'd be happy, THRILLED fur zum nice humilte. Yeesh! [/old Jeswish person's voice]

Peng

Oh, and by the way, MrHumilte might not like so much the last movie?

Damn damn damn UBB

[ 12-24-2001: Message edited by: MrPeng ]</p>

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Am I not worth the humilty? The insults? Am I that low?<hr></blockquote>No ... No ... Yes. Let us hope that his questions are answered and he will SOD OFF!

Joe

[LGMB]

Soldiers,

My "WILL" if you will, has come into seruis question. i'd like to take this moment to consider this strange notion. Okay done. I pray that some day this entire thread, and all its history, past, present, and future; not disclossing all possilbe kin-dead or living, be, in anywich way, ground up into zuccini paste, and covered in mild, "ranch" dressing. thenforth this tastless mix of diced clods, and wankers, shall be devoired. Of course no human could actually, devoir ranchy zuccini paste, so we shall supply this blend of ****e, to worthless three toed hill billies, who, I'm sure, will have no dissagreement to eating goo-worth less then the skunk, or pussum he ate that morning. He will then take it unto himself to SOD OFF.

PENG You worthless wanker. I'll staple your ears to my art deco wall, and nail your tounge to my toaster! I'll play darts with your eyes, and use your nose as a pencil holder, you stifhless Lenin zuccini!

I hope a bucket of nails falls on your head.

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lord General MB:
EDIT: Me no shpell gud.<hr></blockquote>
Correct... think is not spelled shpell

[Noba]

Originally Posted By "That" Peng.
__________________________________________________ _____
Yes, that's me. MrInconsequentialPeng.

I am so unrelentingly idiotic that I forgot I was posting to the "Look at me, I'm Noba and I'm really cool!" thread. [tugs forlock]My humblest apologies, MrNoba, sir.[/tugs forelock]
for forgetting my station.
__________________________________________________ ____

Oh ! THAT PENG.
Sorry M’lud, I was thinking of someone else. May I offer you my sincere appologies on my attempted trivialisation of your grate self. Maybe I can offer something ease your obviously troubled mind. You are utterly correct, I am less
than nothing. I will try to remember my place at the bottom
of the pool, your eminence.


__________________________________________________ ____
Oh sure, you have made enough people sick, angry and confused to have your own unlimited series of threads named after you, right?
__________________________________________________ ____

Well, I think I'm part way there !


Noba.

[Andreas]

Can someone go over to Stuka's and bash him over the head with a Koala or a very unripe Mango? The scenario is called 'To the last man' for arse's feckin' sake, and has nowt to do with some abomination called 'Last man standing', which reminds me of a bad Bruce Willis movie.

Well, it seems that reading is not his strongest area (given that the name of the scenario is written in the interface screen), probably much like writing, thinking, taunting, common decency or any other positive attribute you care to mention. Oh well, what can one expect from a product of the Australian school system, where convicts are heros. I guess he has his personal Crocodile write his posts.

Anyways, merry sodding Christmas to you all, and remember, there is a special place in hell for those who have BBQs on Christmas or New Year.

[Yeknodathon]

(strum, strum)

Twas the night of Christmas Eve

(twang)

And the poooooool twas very wet

(strum)

Good fellows there had no relieve

(twing)

From yonder, faceleeeeess git

(twiddle, twang-de-twaddle, thump)

Twas the night of Christmas Eve

(twang)

No voice..... (muscical pause highlighting drama of prose)..... for rancid cough

(twiddle, strum)

Farewell, Good Will and Merry Fare..... Now all SOD ORRRRRRF

Yeknod

[ 12-24-2001: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]</p>

[Yeknodathon]

(twang, snap)

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Yeknodathon:
(twang, snap)<hr></blockquote> Oh good, his A string broke, dare we hope that he won't be able to find another? Dare we hope that he'll be struck by a lorry whilst riding his motorcycle through the wilds of Reading? Dare we hope that he'll DIE and not be back to bother us? Well ... we can hope.

In the interim I'm pleased to note that he has updated his profile to include location and email ... I don't recall, has he bothered to ACTUALLY CHALLENGE SOMEONE!

I tell you lads, it wasn't like this in the OLD CessPool!

And lest I forget, may you all experience a Rollicking Ragnarok!

Joe

[Iron Chef Sakai]

Lord General, nevermind your flirting with peng and take your turn.

[Geier]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
[QB]To everything, turn, turn, turn,
There is a season, turn, turn, turn,
And a time for every Tiger under the gun.

You're dead. Paraphrasing Da Byrds is MY turf.
Send me a setup. You horrible person.
(I rather liked the Tiger bit though)

Johan

[**YK2**]

Ohhhhh Joey.........
FYI SOUTHPARK ROCKS

And what's more Merry Fecking Christmas To You tongue.gif

[Speedy]

Berocca in hand, I wish you all a Merry Bloody Christmas.
And I hope you flaming foreigners feel as happy and healthy as I do when you stop being unconscious.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Geier:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
[QB]To everything, turn, turn, turn,
There is a season, turn, turn, turn,
And a time for every Tiger under the gun.

You're dead. Paraphrasing Da Byrds is MY turf.
Send me a setup. You horrible person.
(I rather liked the Tiger bit though)

Johan<hr></blockquote>You wish! You:

(ii) Are a ferriner, and not even an Australian ferriner for whom I could work up a good, honest disgust, but some flavor of Scandahoovian ferriner who had descendants who colonized Minnesota.

(II) Haven't given me a good reason to challenge you since I quote whom I choose when I choose and how I choose.

(Aye Aye) Haven't given me a properly phrased challenge. For an example, please see the challenge I issued to that truly awful and horrid person Lawyer. I have taken it upon myself to improve the quality of the challenges and to bring them into accordance with the Code Duello! Your challenge is so lame that a Gentleman such as myself (added to forstall some SSN from replying with ... Oh yeah, but, but, but you Ain't one ... so there) wouldn't dream of accepting it.

(Hai Hai) Are correct in your admiration for the Tiger line ... it was true too, as Stuka lost a Tiger in the very turn he demanded. Yes, Stuka, your forces took out a Sherman II on the same turn, no need to pout. He is, I should point out, in deep doo-doo as I have him flanked and at short range with Shermans and every time one of his vehicles moves it dies.

But thanks for your interest and please be assured that your request and resume will be filed for future needs that may arise.

Joe

[LGMB]

Soldiers,

PENG GOD DAMMIT! *Just* when I get the upper hand you come out of your half drunk zuncinni state, and kick my arse. Mabye next game....

CHEF Eat 76mm! ;)

[bauhaus]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:
I can't hold my tongue any longer...MrSpanker is an idiot..a moron...a numbskull..a mook...a chooch..a hammerhead..a brainless twit..a coward...I guess you get my point.<hr></blockquote>

No, could you clarify a little more. Not quite sure what you're trying to say. And Merry Christmas ya wankers, but I still hate each and every one of you. May disgusting things be done to your stockings as they hang by the chimney with care.

[MrPeng]

A Happy Kringle and a schmappy dingle you youse and yourn.

[Joe Shaw]

Merry, merry, happy, happy, yada, yada ... you're all worthless swine but BY GAWD you're ... well you're still worthless swine.

Here's hoping that you all get ... what you deserve!

Joe

[Cest bon]

Merry Christmas Scum !!

Sorry I haven't been around as of late. I've been busy and yadayada like you guys care anyway.

Just popped in to say I got a phone call from Lorak today. Says things are good and to tell you guys hello.

Hopefully I'll be able to pop in more once the holiday rush is over.

Take care
Cest Bon

[AUSSIEJEFF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Merry, merry, happy, happy, yada, yada ... you're all worthless swine but BY GAWD you're ... well you're still worthless swine.

Here's hoping that you all get ... what you deserve!

Joe<hr></blockquote>

All sing along to this fair dinkum Aussie Jingle:

"Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Christmas time is beaut,
Oh what fun it is to ride,
In a rusty Holden ute, HEY!!..... etc"

Hey ho Joe. You are a GRumpy Old Git, but 'tis Yooltide, so I 'spose I can make an exception - this time.

Thus I wish you a MERRY XXXXMAS to yonself and yon assorted wifery.

PSST: No doubt we SHALL meet in byte battle ONE day - seems it is just up to YOU to chose the time when you feel you have plucked up sufficient courage to issue forth a challenge to THIS game Aussie.

Till then, Adieu!!!

AJASSN.

[Moriarty]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
You wish! You:

(ii) Are a ferriner, and not even an Australian ferriner for whom I could work up a good, honest disgust, but some flavor of Scandahoovian ferriner who had descendants who colonized Minnesota.

(II) Haven't given me a good reason to challenge you since I quote whom I choose when I choose and how I choose.

(Aye Aye) Haven't given me a properly phrased challenge. For an example, please see the challenge I issued to that truly awful and horrid person Lawyer. I have taken it upon myself to improve the quality of the challenges and to bring them into accordance with the Code Duello! Your challenge is so lame that a Gentleman such as myself (added to forstall some SSN from replying with ... Oh yeah, but, but, but you Ain't one ... so there) wouldn't dream of accepting it.

(Hai Hai) Are correct in your admiration for the Tiger line ... it was true too, as Stuka lost a Tiger in the very turn he demanded. Yes, Stuka, your forces took out a Sherman II on the same turn, no need to pout. He is, I should point out, in deep doo-doo as I have him flanked and at short range with Shermans and every time one of his vehicles moves it dies.

But thanks for your interest and please be assured that your request and resume will be filed for future needs that may arise.

Joe<hr></blockquote>

Not only is Geier a Scandahoovian but well known, or known well, in both manhooverist and attritionist camps.

[Moriarty]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Cest bon:
Merry Christmas Scum !!

Sorry I haven't been around as of late. I've been busy and yadayada like you guys care anyway.

Just popped in to say I got a phone call from Lorak today. Says things are good and to tell you guys hello.

Hopefully I'll be able to pop in more once the holiday rush is over.

Take care
Cest Bon<hr></blockquote>

Ahhh, you know life is good when the long-lost
Cest Bon drops by with her heartfelt Scum dripping with malice and clothed in a cheery holiday message.

Thanks for the update, Sara. Glad to hear things are going good with him. Hope they are with you, too.

[ 12-24-2001: Message edited by: Moriarty ]</p>

[AUSSIEJEFF]

HEY there, HI there, HO there, Mr SOOK SEANACHAI!!

WHERE'S YER FECKIN' PURCHASE TURN, mate??

It's been 3 farkin' days since moi posted hasty, and this is your response?? A big, fat, NUTTIN'???? (Mind you, PSQ NOBA did recently hint to me that your timeliness in HIS personal conquest of your pathetic, itty bytey army was ALSO somewhat CIRCUMSPECT!)

Sheesh ....... oh well, on suspicion that YOUR e-mail actually DID get all screwed up and couldn't receive my first file, and considering this sicly treacly Xmassy goodwill-to-all-creatures-etc sentiment, I have decided to re-send same. Prithee you can follow suit pronto, m'lud??

Oh - and before I ferget - have a CR .. er..... Happy New Year to boot.

Yours [tap tap...]impatiently [/..tap,tap...],

AJ
SENIOUR AUSTRALIAN SCUM SUCKING NEWBIE

[OGSF]

Merry Christmas ye filthy swine.

May all o' ye Christmasses bae wun year aparrt,
An' all o' ye Noo Years come a' tha start!

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABC DJimmy

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Yours [tap tap...]impatiently [/..tap,tap...],

AJ SENIOUR AUSTRALIAN SCUM SUCKING NEWBIE<hr></blockquote> Likely enough it's just the Christmas Cheer talking (never did understand that, why would you drink detergent on Christmas? Mind, it does give a nice buzz ... and the bubbles are pretty) but I do believe I may, MAY I SAID DAMNIT, have been a bit hasty.

The above shows a slight glimmering (just slight now, don't get carried away and I reserve the right to alter my opinion at any time and for any reason) ... of promise.

GAWD I CAN'T BELIEVE I SAID THAT! Gimme another shot, dear, I think I need to wash my mouth out with soap again.

Joe

p.s. Cest Bon, our deepest thanks for the update, please tell Lorak that we miss him and eagerly await his triumphant return.

Why, yes, Dear, another shot would go down nicely ... {hic} ... OH look at that bubble, luv!

[Goanna]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>OgarglePommieSubject:
An' Goanna, ye road kill fodder, ye've crossed a leen wi' ye filthy "English" comment. An' ye knoo at. At saims ye've fergotten aboot tha birch thrashin' ye received ain tha second gam we played, an' blown ye accidental firrrst gam win o'er mah brave laddies ain tha bocage death trap aintae some mythological triumph o' tha ancient Goanna clan. Ain ye ain meend ainly, meend ye. Ah'll bae sendin' ye a come-uppence Jimmy. Ye kin commaince ye tremblin' at ye leisure.<hr></blockquote>

OK, sorry, but I'm quite uncertain what to do here. Is this Glaswegian poofsaying he'd like to step on the battlefield and be kicked so hard he'll be wearing his bum cheeks for earflaps, or talking about some perverted tryst he had with a birch tree? Perhaps the latter since I see nothing in my inbox that reeks of quisine based on a dare.


<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>he who I do not believe in:
. . . 'Last man standing', which reminds me of a bad Bruce Willis movie. . .{yadda, yadda, sputter} . . . Oh well, what can one expect from a product of the Australian school system, where convicts are heros. I guess he has his personal Crocodile write his posts. Anyways, merry sodding Christmas to you all, and remember, there is a special place in hell for those who have BBQs on Christmas or New Year.<hr></blockquote>

It reminds me of a not-so-bad Clint Eastwood flick called "Fistfull of Dollars" but I digress.

{ahem}I think it is high time we of the Australian persuasion provide a rebuttal {Can I moon for rebuttal?} to the blatant level of Aussie-bashing that has been rising in the last few MBTs, spurred on, no doubt, by several of the newcomers who we are less than excited about taking credit for. But be that as it may, a question still needs to be raised.

The question is this: Where would we as a civilisation be with out Australia, I ask you?

Isn't language so much better for us? Wasn't it the Australians who brought the reduction of every word in the English language down to two easy to manage syllables to a fine art? Who among you would not have disappeared from the MBT long ago after suffering through the tedium of typing (and misspelling) Berlichtingen each time had we not produced Berli for you?

Where would warfare be? Have not the Australians brought forth their sons to serve as cannon fodder for the imperialist powers in every war from the Boer to present day? And what do we get for it? Nothing I tell you, and no pissing and moaning about it either. Did we protest the intentional omission of the 477th Royal Australian Cooks Bn, or 31st NSW Ambo Recovery Units from CMBO? We did not.

And where would tradition be? While increasing productivity is foisted upon the unsuspecting proletariat around the world, we in Australia maintain our rights to a standard four weeks annual leave (with leave loading - can't be going on hols broke now can we?), to chuck the odd sickie, and we still celebrate the Queen's birthday. Hell, even the poms themselves don't get that off anymore.

So bring on your slings and arrows, we can take it. We know where we stand in the hierarchy of nations and we are prepared to stand as tall poppies for the superpowers with inferiority complexes to attempt to cut down. As our poet Henry Lawson once said, "Get stuffed ya c@%t, and bring us another schooner while you're up".

[ 12-25-2001: Message edited by: Goanna ]</p>

[AUSSIEJEFF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna:


".....we still celebrate the Queen's birthday."

[ 12-25-2001: Message edited by: Goanna ]<hr></blockquote>

Ahem ... nice post up till THAT point, UberSkink, old chum. But, and this is a BIG BUTT - Please, oh please do NOT include I(me) in WE(you) when future referencing Hor Maj. Thankyou for your understanding in this grave matter.

Yore humbel surf-ant,

SASSN.AJ
Seniour AIR Head
(Australianus Inperpetuum Republicatum)

[AUSSIEJEFF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
[QB] GAWD I CAN'T BELIEVE I SAID THAT! Gimme another shot, dear......../QB]<hr></blockquote>

Wife #4: "Oh very well dear, since you are SOOOO persistent today ......" BLAM!!!....

Joe: "YEEE-ooowwww!!!! Not that sort of shot, ye crazy idjet!!..uh oh........ I .....errr...... didn't MEAN that, really dear........"

Wife #4: "Why you, fleabitten old carcass ...." BLAMMITY-BLAM-BLAM!!

Joe: "I SURRENDER!!! ..... HELLLPPPP!!!"

Head for the bunker, JoJO

hehe


SASSN.AJ

[Panzer Leader]

Merry X-Mas all!

Now for the real work: How to squeeze all this junk we spent the past 4 hours wrapping under the tree...

[jd]

Even though we may not be around much, the time spent here is always the best.....

Merry Christmas my fellow 'pooligans and perhaps I'll find more time in the new year, we may take ourselves out of the pool, but it never leaves us.

[Goanna]

Hey, I didn't say we sent Betty Windsor a cake or a gift or anything, just that we take the day off.

Had the whole republican referendum not been rigged by those Liberal bastiges, we still would have the day off, but it would be the Governor General's birthday or something like that (let's say Paul Keating's for instance)

[LGMB]

Soldiers,

Is it just me or is this the first 'Pool X-mas? Wow... a whole year and going strong (hopefully not for long though... yes... soon i will wreck a terrible vengance on this place! none shall be spared... a screw it. Happy holydays!).

BTW: PENG is a worthless zucinni. :D

[AUSSIEJEFF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna:
Hey, I didn't say we sent Betty Windsor a cake or a gift or anything, just that we take the day off.

Had the whole republican referendum not been rigged by those Liberal bastiges, we still would have the day off, but it would be the Governor General's birthday or something like that (let's say Paul Keating's for instance)<hr></blockquote>


Or even GOUGH'S!! birthday holiday (God forbid!!) hehe

Poin thaken in good shpirits, (hic!) shire.

HIC!

[Noba]

Nice post SIR UBER LIZARD.

May I say it is nice to get back-up from such an upstanding
Australian such as yourself. ( Not tooo many beers over the
festive break, or you might not be quite so upstanding...)

I wish all Australians; and sundry...A happy and safe festive break.


Noba.


ps. Seanachai and Hanns.....[Tap-tap-tappity-tap]

[CMplayer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Noba:

I wish all Australians...A happy and safe festive break.
<hr></blockquote>

And while your at it why not go try and smother a brush fire with your naked bodies.

[Elvis]

Happy Christmas wankers.

[bauhaus]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
[QB
The above shows a slight glimmering (just slight now, don't get carried away and I reserve the right to alter my opinion at any time and for any reason) ... of promise.

GAWD I CAN'T BELIEVE I SAID THAT! Gimme another shot, dear, I think I need to wash my mouth out with soap again.
[/QB]<hr></blockquote>

The problem he has Joe is that he takes one step forward in a post like this and then proceeds to take two steps backwards in his later posts. The git just doesn't know when to shut the feck up. Until that day the simp will never be elevated to the level of squire.
And Goanna, I thought you started calling Berli, Berli because it was you little pet name for him. Any one noticed how defiled their stockings were this morning? It was Mace, I told him not to do it....but noooooooo, he had to have a little sumpin sumpin to kick off his holiday cheer. Gives new meaning to the term stocking stuffer.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>The problem he has Joe is that he takes one step forward in a post like this and then proceeds to take two steps backwards in his later posts. The git just doesn't know when to shut the feck up. Until that day the simp will never be elevated to the level of squire.<hr></blockquote> You know Bauhaus I was thinking exactly the same thing. Pity that one bad post makes up for three good ones ... even more of a pity that he's had one good one and three bad ones so he's ... hang on ... well, he's WAY in the hole now that's for sure.

Joe

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

Merry Christmas you Yuletide Log Pinchers!!

Guess what I got? My wonderful girlfriend got me the Monty Python Collection!! 14 DVD's of Monty Python. You can be jealous now. She also got me tickets to an Eagles game next week. You can begin your weeping now as you wish you could be me. I will now commence my patented Hirsute Hiram Dance

*Glad I patented that one because the whole "Hi, Mom fiasco is getting out of hand. Now, some idiot on the main board is taking credit for that one. Some people.

[Elvis]

Dear Mr. Sedai,
Are we doing pregame festivities?
Love,
Elvis

[Iskander]

I am far from home and I am alone here.
But -- I've got a 'net connexion, so I've got y'all...

Merry Christmas, you sorry bunch of bastards; merry Christmas, my friends.

[Lawyer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Iskander:
I am far from home and I am alone here.
But -- I've got a 'net connexion, so I've got y'all...

Merry Christmas, you sorry bunch of bastards; merry Christmas, my friends.<hr></blockquote>

Merry Christmas to you too, Ike, and to all the other cheery little buggers on this thread. Can you get your laundry done in China, Clayton?

Now I've spent Christmas and several days more trying to get CM running on my new computer. Can one of you tech gits have a look on the Tech forum and help me out.

Otherwise, you might not see me here anymore. Wouldn't that be an awful way to start the new year?

Hehehe....

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:
the last one sent to you was 12/20 1023am (local). <hr></blockquote>

Dear Tosser,

That file was returned to you at 1045am (local).

You tosser.

Love Stuka

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lawyer:


Merry Christmas to you too, Ike, and to all the other cheery little buggers on this thread. Can you get your laundry done in China, Clayton?

Now I've spent Christmas and several days more trying to get CM running on my new computer. Can one of you tech gits have a look on the Tech forum and help me out.

Otherwise, you might not see me here anymore. Wouldn't that be an awful way to start the new year?

Hehehe....<hr></blockquote>A likely story Lawyer, no sooner do I toss down the gauntlet than you suddenly have problems and ... golly gee ain't it a shame but I MAY not be able to play CM anymore and MAY just have to bow out of the forum too ... dadgumit.

You must think we're pretty stupid ... {please consider this opening my Christmas present to you Lawyer}

Joe

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Andreas:
there is a special place in hell for those who have BBQs on Christmas or New Year.<hr></blockquote>

What about being in the swimming pool at 5.45am christmas morn followed by the prezzy thing, then off to a wizzo 5-star seafood lunch (verry snazzy, what with ice sculptures and all the oysters/prawns/crab/crayfish/moreton bay bugs in endless supply) then back to the pool to wallow in ones own overindulgence while warding off the 37 degree celcius heat with more beer. Is that OK?

BTW, Andreas the beer was Goormon imported 'Bitburger' in your honour.
As such I found it flat and uninteresting.

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Patch:
but I do have proof for all to see, that you are a bleeding Pommie.
<hr></blockquote>

Calling an Aussie a Pom...tsk tsk!

Patch really wears the pants in ol' BeezleBerli's household, I reckon.


Mace

[Mace]

Btw

What I did for my Christmas, and why it sucked - by Mace.

No Computer, ergo no CMBO.

At least there was beer, and a nice Chrissy roast, Christmas pud with white brandy sauce, and family, and friends (these ones are two legged and don't bleat), and singing (mainly a medly of AC/DC and Cold Chisel songs), and lotsa driving (Aussie chrismas = lotsa driving).

Still good to be back home and in contact with my collegues.

Mace

[Goanna]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Dear Mr. Sedai,
Are we doing pregame festivities?
Love,
Elvis<hr></blockquote>

Yeah, the standard whooping it up and circle jerk should be sufficient Elvis. You lads better party hardy since New York is likely to be your swan song this year. Oh sure, Philly might just scrape into the playoffs due to the fact that they are in the NFC East (the whole lot of which should be written off and replaced with promising peewee league contenders), but when they start playing real teams they are sure to get their arse handed to them make no mistake {cough cough San Fran cough cough}.

The fact is, Philly has two chances against San Fran, Saint Louis, Green Bay or Chicago in the playoffs – slim and none and slim just left town.

That’ll teach em to soil the cess with their gridiron talk, eh?

Now, FYI South Africa is 1/24 during a rain delay of the Boxing Day test. The Australians are highly likely to win what many are calling this year’s World Cup match.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> LawyerCan one of you tech gits have a look on the Tech forum and help me out.<hr></blockquote>

No worries mate, got ya all sorted. What you do see, is pack that whole load of ****e back up in the cartons it came in, take it back to the store where it came from, thrust it at the pimply propellor head who’s standing there giving you the trout look and say in a clear and strong voice, “I’d like a Mac please, preferably a dual G4 tower with a 21 inch monitor.” Then ya take it home, right. Put it on the desk, connect the cables in where they obviously go, plug in your CM CD and you are off and running before you can say, “Bill Gates is a sodding useless pillock”.

No thanks necessary. Always interested in helping out the technologically disadvantaged.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Stukes:
Dear Tosser,
That file was returned to you at 1045am (local).<hr></blockquote>

Careful there mate. Timestamping those babies is coming dangerously close to numbering them, and that might just cause Elvis’ head to implode, if my little dissertation above hasn’t already done the trick.


<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Patch really wears the pants in ol' BeezleBerli's household, I reckon. <hr></blockquote>

I told you she was a nasty piece of work didn’t I? Notice how she made me the one who’s lightest in the loafers too. But, careful who you go bolding there, Mace. (wet)Patch hasn’t earned her stripes yet, although I fear she has a bile gland with capacity nearly unbounded and obvious access to all the right technology. We has our eye on her, yesss we do.

[Elvis]

Dear Goanna,
Thank you for your upside rendering of American Football. While what you say may be true, always remember the on any given Sunday......Aaawwww that's crap and I know it...Why do I continue to torture myself....WHY WHY WHY WHY!?!?!???....I feel much better now.
Love,
Elvis
PS Retaining emails is much more efficient than numbering turn files but I am not in the mood to get into it at this time.

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

Oh, so Goanna has studied American football. How so very special. Pardon me as I yawn with anticipation as he imparts his brand of wisdom. Another opinion on how Philly will do? I'll file that with all of the other bonehead simperings I hear. Making Elvis cry is just plain mean. I expected as much though. Somebody probably pooped in the lizard's stocking. (or should)

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[Lars]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:
What I did for my Christmas, and why it sucked - by Mace.

friends (these ones are two legged and don't bleat)
<hr></blockquote>

Couldn't catch a date, eh?

[Iron Chef Sakai]

Lord General, shake off your damn hang over, drink a beer what ever helps, and take you damn turn!

Or, if my forces have already routed yours, wich would not surprise me in the least bit, surrender and send me my turn so i can see what happend. smile.gif

[Croda]

Just heard that all of Australia's on fire.

I just knew that Mace was a flamer.

**Please excuse the utter lame-iosity of the above taunt. Work has devoured my will to think freely.

In game news, I am routing Here I Am, Shoot Me's forces on the map The Crossroads. Like the Philadelphia Eagles in the playoffs, everyone's laying on the ground covering their heads and whimpering for their mamas. I did however hear that Eric Lindros was being traded to the Eagles because they needed some toughness on the team.

In other news...
There is no other news.

[Patch]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna:
But, careful who you go bolding there, Mace. (wet)Patch hasn’t earned her stripes yet,<hr></blockquote>
So, you say I haven't earned my stripes yet? I guess I will continue in my quest to desecrate the photos of every single bacteria that lives in the Cesspool. I consider all of my pictorial attacks as victories...but I am not yet finished with you, Unterlizard. Barbie-qued goanna is quite a delicacy down here...and since you live down under, you are not very far from the Underworld.

Persephone

[ 12-26-2001: Message edited by: Patch ]</p>

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Croda:
Just heard that all of Australia's on fire.

I just knew that Mace was a flamer.

**Please excuse the utter lame-iosity of the above taunt. I should be bludgeoned by old people by their canes. There is no other news.<hr></blockquote>


Croda, you feebleminded little girl. A wussyboy little twit like you wouldn’t know diddly about football if your dad actually spent the time to teach you how to be a man. You were too busy with your barbie dream house and tea time with your imaginary friends as a child to fit in with the other kids. I hope you got the petticoat you had your eye on this Christmas. We expect your taunts to be lame because you are lame. You can threaten to ball your eyes out and go home now. Now, go and apologize to your town for being such a girly boy.

[LGMB]

Soldier,

CHEF: you want your dam turn? You got your dam turn.... just be paitent.... Theres lots of time for me to kill... ;)

[Stuka]

Why are there non-Cesspoolers wandering around the 'pool gayly chatting to each other as though they actually belong here?

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:
Why are there non-Cesspoolers wandering around the 'pool gayly chatting to each other as though they actually belong here?<hr></blockquote>

*Stomp*

Grab the Mortein *stomp*, mate!

That'll *stomp* get rid of the little buggers!

Mace

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Croda:
Just heard that all of Australia's on fire.

I just knew that Mace was a flamer.

**Please excuse the utter lame-iosity of the above taunt. Work has devoured my will to think freely.<hr></blockquote>

Since the *ahem* taunt was directed my way, I think I'll respond:

YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE MAN!!!

I'VE SEEN SSNs TAUNT BETTER THAN THAT.

THEN YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO SAY "PLEASE EXCUSE THE UTTER LAME-IOSITY OF THE ABOVE TAUNT"!!! NEXT THING YOU'LL BE SEEKING FORGIVENESS FOR BEING BORN!!!

NOW GO OUT THE DOOR, COME BACK IN AND TAUNT LIKE THE PROFESSIONAL YOU ARE. QUICKLY NOW, BEFORE THE JUSTICAR CATCHES YOU AND REVOKES YOUR STANDING!!!

Mace

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:
Why are there non-Cesspoolers wandering around the 'pool gayly chatting to each other as though they actually belong here?<hr></blockquote>
Well, let's face it, even the Outer Board doesn't want those freaks

[**YK2**]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> But, careful who you go bolding there, Mace. (wet)Patch hasn’t earned her stripes yet <hr></blockquote>

Not earned her stripes yet!!!!
Well that can only be an oversight, or maybe the fact that Lorak isn't here has delayed things.
I mean lets face it PATCH was BOLDED right from her first post.
The Gnome pic of Seanacoochie was just so damn funny, (sorry Steve) but it is so like the Gnome I have at the bottom of my garden.(He used to be nameless but I now refer to him as Pembelito )
Yep, as far as i'm concerned Patch has more than earned her Boldness.
So fix it, or do somefink.
:D

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by YK2:

Not earned her stripes yet!!!!
Well that can only be an oversight, or maybe the fact that Lorak isn't here has delayed things.
I mean lets face it PATCH was BOLDED right from her first post. The Gnome pic of Seanacoochie was just so damn funny, (sorry Steve) but it is so like the Gnome I have at the bottom of my garden.(He used to be nameless but I now refer to him as Pembelito )
Yep, as far as i'm concerned Patch has more than earned her Boldness.
So fix it, or do somefink.
:D <hr></blockquote>Now, now Dame YK2, as the Lady of the Pool you must understand that there are forms to follow here ... not to mention forms to be filled out. Bolding and spelling someone's name isn't to be done lightly you know.

Actually though, and come to think of it ... while I have firmly established rules about when and who, I don't recall that there has ever been a CessPool requirement on the above. In fact I, wearing my spiffy Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread hat, have made it clear that I consider it a personal decision.

Therefore, bold or not as you see fit ... unless it's an SSN, I mean that's just not ... right, is it.

And speaking of SSNs, one DOES wish that Lard Generic EMBEE would cease talking to his imaginary friends here.

Joe

[Cest bon]

Oh my lord.

Football has once again reared its ugly head in the cesspool. What makes this even harder to digest is that it is dealing with crap like the eagles and giants.
Both teams suck. They have no offense, thier defenses are on the field way to long, I look for this game to be as boring as the Dallas Washington monday nighter (2 other NFLeast teams).
Whole game comes down to two players, Barber and Duce.
I give the edge to the eagles 14-10.

What really surprises me is this. I gathered from yinz inept post here in the pool that you guys were idiots. I was willing to let that pass as a internet fancy. But now seeing you guys like the eagles, proves that while sad, you do carry over your stupidity into real life.

Cest Bon

"You don't have to be from the Burgh, to be forged in steel!"
Here we go Steelers! Here we go!
http://www.geocities.com/steelergil/nationanim2.gif

[ 12-26-2001: Message edited by: Cest bon ]</p>

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Therefore, bold...
<hr></blockquote>

Patch
Cest bon

...as it should be, ya idjit.

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Fraser is absolutely the best. The Flashman series is, of course, his best known but don't overlook the "McAuslan" series of short stories. It's roughly based upon his service in North Africa with a Highland Regiment and is GREAT. AND he does a Scot accent better than OGSF.

Now go back to your maps and OOBs and ... stuff.

Joe<hr></blockquote>

I have said it before, but most of you are so half-witted and/or drunk that it bears repeating: OGSF is the Poor Man's McAuslan.

Now, one should also not ignore George MacDonald Fraser's historical writings (as he is, by calling, an historian). Check out 'Steel Bonnets', long out of print, and recently released in a decent trade paperback version.

For those who can barely handle the written word, but like amusing dialogue and pictures, the movie pair "The Three Musketeers" and the "Four Musketeers" (not the latest string of abominations in this genre, but originally released back in the 70s); the screenplay for these two was written by MacDonald Fraser.

I'm not caught up, I owe everyone turns, I had a lovely Christmas, and I hope that most of you caught nothing more over the Holidays than can be cured with a few extremely painful injections of inordinately expensive antibiotics.

Must run, as I owe everyone turns, and I'm not caught up.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Now, one should also not ignore George MacDonald Fraser's historical writings (as he is, by calling, an historian).<hr></blockquote> You insufferable geek, he was (he's now retired from his "day-job") a journalist, an editor and then a writer. Your lack of knowledge and flippant attitude toward research is a never ending trial for me.

He also wrote "Octapussy" ... well a guy's gotta eat I guess.

Of course you DO like him so that's ONE point in your favor, and trust me you need all you can get.

Joe

[Cest bon]

Hello Scum,

I am looking for a caption for this picture.
http://www.sptimes.com/News/090301/photos/st-rodeo.jpg

So far I have

Mace's graduation
or
Never send a boy to do an Aussie's job

TaTa
Cest Bon

[Croda]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:


Since the *ahem* taunt was directed my way, I think I'll respond:

YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE MAN!!!

I'VE SEEN SSNs TAUNT BETTER THAN THAT.

THEN YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO SAY "PLEASE EXCUSE THE UTTER LAME-IOSITY OF THE ABOVE TAUNT"!!! NEXT THING YOU'LL BE SEEKING FORGIVENESS FOR BEING BORN!!!

NOW GO OUT THE DOOR, COME BACK IN AND TAUNT LIKE THE PROFESSIONAL YOU ARE. QUICKLY NOW, BEFORE THE JUSTICAR CATCHES YOU AND REVOKES YOUR STANDING!!!

Mace<hr></blockquote>

Now without the bolding:

You horrible little man.

I've seen SSNs taunt better than that.

Then you have the audacity to say "Please excuse the utter lame-iosity of the above taunt" Next thing you'll be seeking forgiveness for being born.

Now go out the door, come back in and taunt like the professional you are. Quickly now, before the justicar catches you and revokes your standing.

Wow, Macey-wacey, at least the flamer comment had a modicum of ingenuity to it. This was nothing but grade-school nanny-nanny boo-booing.

Now, as a professional I'm tempted to drudge up your picture from That 70's Show and start a rousing chorus of Disco Inferno. Instead I will call you a Nog. Yes, that's right, a Nog. Half Ninny, half Dog. You reek of sauerkraut and your owners need to take you for a walk several times a day to do your business. You also have a penchant for sniffing people's arses and leaving stains on their legs. You're a Nog.

Nog.

[Goanna]

How about:

"Even as a lad, Mace was already punching above his weight."

[ 12-26-2001: Message edited by: Goanna ]</p>

[Panzer Leader]

Or:

"Mace Participates in Take Your Child to Work Day"

[Croda]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Cest bon:
Hello Scum,

I am looking for a caption for this picture.
http://www.sptimes.com/News/090301/photos/st-rodeo.jpg

So far I have

Mace's graduation
or
Never send a boy to do an Aussie's job

TaTa
Cest Bon<hr></blockquote>

I was thinking:

"Damnit, Mace! I thought I told you to drop your pants before you tried to mount him!"

"Sorry, Dad..."

[Goanna]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Hiram:
Making Elvis cry is just plain mean.<hr></blockquote>

While I grant you that I do have a penchant for laying in the slipper where it so obviously and easily fits, no one who has actually met me would refer to me as just plain mean.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Football has once again reared its ugly head in the cesspool. What makes this even harder to digest is that it is dealing with crap like the eagles and giants.<hr></blockquote>

Not to worry, my little french elven-friend. Time has a way of sorting these things out and I have 20 gringo dollars that says we won't be seeing either of these two pieces of fluff after round one.

Now before this turns into the commentary box at some local sports carnival (with SA 225 for 8 after 90 overs on day two) or the warm and fuzzy chat room for brainless SUPs that wander in, I can bring us back to a point of weightier issues than what the lot of you judeo-christian capitalist swine soaked up off the backs of the proletariat the last few days.

I have an idea. And it could perhaps be a dangerously good idea.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Patch:
So, you say I haven't earned my stripes yet? I guess I will continue in my quest to desecrate the photos of every single bacteria that lives in the Cesspool.<hr></blockquote>

Not quite, but my idea involves someone with your obvious talent for forgery. I propose to take this vile maiden under my tutelage as a squire and send her on a quest. Yes a quest. It's a bloody good idea that is past its time here in the mire. And not an easy quest, mind you, but something a bit nasty and painful to all involved.

If she chooses to accept, I direct Patch to collect and present three pictures:
(š) Something involving Joe Shaw, preferably with a Mormon Wife;
(‰) Something with Germanboy which is both insulting and at the same time holds him up as the deity he is, and;
(£) Something with YK2 and including at least one decent sized shubbery

Your creativity and diligence in collecting those items that make everyone (including the subjects) both laugh and cringe at the same time shall be the criteria upon which you will be judged. Successful completion of the quest will gain(?) you full status as a kanigget (how do we refer to the kanigget of the female variety anyway?) and a title.

Bonza idea right? . . . Right? . . . Hey is this thing even on?

Now, just before I go . . .

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Joe Shaw:
He also wrote "Octapussy" ... well a guy's gotta eat I guess.<hr></blockquote>

It's right about 50 that you really begin to master the double entendre isn't it?

[edited to quash a couple of filty emoticons that dropped in like a couple of SUPs unexpectedly}

[ 12-26-2001: Message edited by: Goanna ]</p>

[Joe Shaw]

Or ...

Mace forgets the first rule of safe sex ... tag the ones that kick!

Joe

[Seanachai]

Ah, well, back again on the only Thread that can keep the cold winter away.

Persephone, Fairest of Brides, the Challenge presented by Goanna, Eldest of Australians (those bastards), is intriguing, to say the least.

And anyone who makes the mistake of questioning or neglecting the bolding of Yk2's, Persephone's, Cest Bon's, or Kitty's names, shall suffer a right awful visit from the ÜberGnome.

[Seanachai]

And now, a bit of a Holiday sing-song and celebration of the lasses and ladies of the Peng Challenge Thread.

You say, "Well-met again, Lock-keeper!
We're laden even deeper than the time before;
Oriental oils and tea brought down from Singapore."
As we wait for my lock to cycle
I say, "My wife has given me a son."
"A son!" you cry, "Is that all that you've done?"

She wears bougainvilla blossoms.
You pluck 'em from her hair and toss 'em in the tide,
Sweep her in your arms and carry her inside.
Her sighs catch on your shoulder;
Her moonlit eyes grow bold and wiser through her tears
And I say, "How could you stand to leave her for a year?"

"Then come with me" you say, "to where the Southern Cross
Rides high upon your shoulder."
"Come with me!" you cry,
"Each day you tend this lock, you're one day older,
While your blood grows colder."
But that anchor chain's a fetter
And with it you are tethered to the foam,
And I wouldn't trade your life for one hour of home.

Sure I'm stuck here on the Seaway
While you compensate for leeway through the Trades;
And you shoot the stars to see the miles you've made.
And you laugh at hearts you've riven,
But which of these has given us more love of life,
You, your tropic maids, or me, my wife?

"Then come with me" you say, "to where the Southern Cross
Rides high upon your shoulder."
"Ah come with me!" you cry,
"Each day you tend this lock, you're one day older,
While your blood grows colder."
But that anchor chain's a fetter
And with it you are tethered to the foam,
And I wouldn't trade your life for one hour of home.
Ah your anchor chain's a fetter
And with it you are tethered to the foam,
And I wouldn't trade your whole life for just one hour of home.

-Stan Rogers

[ 12-27-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]</p>

[Goanna]

And a "right awful" visit will be differentiated from your regular visits which include the standard celtic fanfare followed by much retching and weeping by all those in attendance exactly how?

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna:
And a "right awful" visit will be differentiated from your regular visits which include the standard celtic fanfare followed by much retching and weeping by all those in attendance exactly how?<hr></blockquote>

I'll give you a bloody great smooch on the cheek, tell everyone we've been best friends for donkey's years, and then begin a go-round of visits with whatever few of your friends and family still accept you, showing up late at night and pretty much in the bag, demanding a place to stay, and identifying myself as your Old Friend Seanachai.

I'll stay right up until they're on the phone calling the police on one line, while dialing you up on the other.

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Cest bon:
Hello Scum,

I am looking for a caption for this picture.
<hr></blockquote>

That's not me, I'd wear nothing but an akubra on me noggin, not some lamey yellow thingy like that!

Mace

[Herr Oberst]

Gamey updates:

That would include Seanachai and Moriarty.

Seanachai: Where's my turn you leech? I replied to your last turn not more than 45 seconds ago, and you haven't responded yet. Of all the feckin' laggards, just hit go. Oh, and I'm glad that at least some of your troops are enjoying the nice 'splody things we have been throwing your way.

Moriarty: We are busy playing some illegitimate bastardized scenario from Germanboy. Well, let's put it more succinctly, GB, while trying to pass his final exam from Berli in Evilness 101, devised this scenario that has Germans and Amis, and stuff, and this, and that, and it sucks not being able to rant appropriately because of *SPOILERS*. Well, the only thing spoiled is GB's brain, which I am sure is a festering clump of glial cells. Nothing else could have come up with this, this, thing.

Oh, and Crawdad, nice to have you back. The Cesspool has lacked a proper doormat for quite some time...

[Herr Oberst]

Persephone, (I may call you Persephone, may I not? And no, I am NOT asking your opinion Burlesque), you will always be bolded in my book. As is due.

Along with Y2K, who can be forgiven her affinity for, ahem, Monsieur Frenchie. and Kitty who, well, face it, looks damn good in black...

[Herr Oberst]

What! Nobody else is up at 2:45am? You slack-ass non-posters. You should all be presented as poster children, not posters to the MBT...

Fie on the lot of you.

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Herr Oberst:
What! Nobody else is up at 2:45am? You slack-ass non-posters. You should all be presented as poster children, not posters to the MBT...

Fie on the lot of you.<hr></blockquote>


Why? You're doing fine by yourself.

Now excuse me while I go ponder Kitty in black.

Mace

[Goanna]

Right. Listen up you collection of detritis from the industrialised world.

Goanna, the ÜberLizard, Environmental Enginner Extrodinaire and all that other rot in my sig line has just completed solving a certain client's little emergency in Oman and I am now signing off from this station. Any and all additional salvos in my current collection of Cesspool brawls should be directed at my usual bigpond address and not any of the various aliaseseses that you might have seen in the past two weeks.

Any lack of response on my part to anything you might spew forth in this forum in the ensuing 48 hours is not due to what passes for your wit, bile or the accuracy of said remarks, but rather to the serious oversight on the part of the Mechanical and Electrical engineers of this planet in coming up with a decent teleportation device as yet.

So, until shortly after I hear the words, "Please return the stewardess to her original upright position", I will be hating you in thought only.

[**YK2**]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Something with YK2 and including at least one decent sized shubbery
<hr></blockquote>

Shubbery? I hate to think what made you link me with shubbery. :confused:
I'll await with bated breath though. ;)

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Along with Y2K, who can be forgiven her affinity for, ahem, Monsieur Frenchie.
<hr></blockquote>

Ahhhhh so that's where the shubbery comes in.
:D

[Patch]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna:

I propose to take this vile maiden under my tutelage as a squire and send her on a quest. Yes a quest. It's a bloody good idea that is past its time here in the mire. And not an easy quest, mind you, but something a bit nasty and painful to all involved.

If she chooses to accept, I direct Patch to collect and present three pictures:
(?) Something involving Joe Shaw, preferably with a Mormon Wife;
(‰) Something with Germanboy which is both insulting and at the same time holds him up as the deity he is, and;
(£) Something with YK2 and including at least one decent sized shubbery

Your creativity and diligence in collecting those items that make everyone (including the subjects) both laugh and cringe at the same time shall be the criteria upon which you will be judged. Successful completion of the quest will gain(?) you full status as a kanigget (how do we refer to the kanigget of the female variety anyway?) and a title.
<hr></blockquote>
Goanna, I humbly accept your challenge and will now proceed in this extremely difficult quest.

Persephone

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Cest bon:
Oh my lord.

"You don't have to be from the Burgh, to be forged in steel!"
Here we go Steelers! Here we go!
http://www.geocities.com/steelergil/nationanim2.gif

[ 12-26-2001: Message edited by: Cest bon ]<hr></blockquote>

Long time no see, Mister NC. How is life at the local Piggly Wiggly? I'll respect your anonymity and not mention how your name used to rhyme with Boorak. I'm happy for you with your team and all. It must be tough living in the land of the Panthers and cheering for the Steelers. I do hope I don't offend the unterlizard with this babble about football. He is a touchy sort.

Where is Croda? I have some invectives to hurl.

[Croda]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

Where is Croda? I have some invectives to hurl.<hr></blockquote>

He is sitting around waiting for you to send a mother-grabbing turn, you scum-licking Eagles fan (was that redundant?). And let's hope that your invective hurling is better than your bullet-hurling. Your bullet-catching aptitude is beyond that of even the French, however it's difficult to fire the gun when you throw it and run away with your hand above your head. Your men look like George Costanza in a fire.

Now send the fecking turn so I can continue to stick forks in your eyes.

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Croda:


He is precisely what I strive to be when I grow up. Unlike me, he doesn't need a diaper and a pacifier.
<hr></blockquote>

Croda, you rancid chunk of fecal matter. Your fetid stench is wafting throughout the Cesspool and we are trying not to step in you. I’m writing this to let you know that I’m taking my sweet-ass time with my turn so we can really drag it out. I’m taking my time arranging and playing with my Christmas gifts when I get home. My cat mentioned your name the other day. She said it repeatedly into one of my shoes. She is oh so very precious.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

Croda, you rancid chunk of fecal matter ...<hr></blockquote> Right then, this whole Croda you suck! ... Huh uh, YOU suck Hiram! merry go round is just about more than I, or anyone else, wants to hear. If you MUST continue with this tiresome over and over and over repetitive potty taunting, at least include something about the game so that we know that you're not just recycling posts from 18 months ago.

Joe

[ 12-27-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]</p>

[Croda]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
...tiresome...<hr></blockquote>

Easily the most succinct definition of yourself you've given to date.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Croda:


Easily the most succinct definition of yourself you've given to date.<hr></blockquote>Oh my Gawd, he's descended to "I know you are but what am I?" ... NOW we know why, although we wondered where Croda was, we never really MISSED him!

Joe

[Stuka]

Ya gotta luv da classics!

[LGMB]

Soldiers,

Bang, Bang, bang go PENG's tanks! tongue.gif

[OGSF]

Grreat weepy thangs on a burrnt stick! Ah knoo Ah owe some turrns, bu' ye kin tak a wee dunp an' fall back ain at.... Ah've bin perusin' mah noo video collection o' "The Color Of War" along wi' mah grrreat big Life "World War II" book. An' "Lord o tha Rings" as a bonny wee ditty as waill an' noo mistake.

Hiram, Ah appreciate ye perseverance ain wha as a distasteful an' trrucky task - ain ainsultin' tha Croda on a stick withoot haim thinkin' ye handin' hiam complimaints.

Goanna, Ah sae ye runnin' back tae tha sands o' Ali el bin Gattamattawhooflungmahdugarees rather than wait any longer fer tha setoop o' doom(tm). At'll di ye noo guid, at'll folla' an' feend ye anyhoo!

Tha raist o' ye are a sloshy bag o' squid guts - tha bonnie wee lassies excaipted o' course.

Bastaarrrrds.

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABC DJimmt

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Right then, this whole Croda you suck! ... Huh uh, YOU suck Hiram! merry go round is just about more than I, or anyone else, wants to hear. If you MUST continue with this tiresome over and over and over repetitive potty taunting, at least include something about the game so that we know that you're not just recycling posts from 18 months ago.

Joe
[ 12-27-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]<hr></blockquote>

Joe, stupid, tired old Joe. It is as effort even to capitalize your name. I know that I have tread on your domain. You are king here. We are just visitors in your imaginary kingdom. I don't have a clue what a justicar is supposed to do. Are you in charge of something or someone? I think you are a tired old man sitting behind a computer pretending to be important. Sit there with your title and hope that maybe some day, somebody will notice you.

Now, if you follow the Jungian way of thinking, then... since I am quite inebriated now, you must be hearing from my other personality. That would be my subconscious. Hiram's subconscious would like nothing better than to kick Joe.

As for recycling, here is what I have to say: Turn your hearing aid on, Joe. I said...oh nevermind. I am what I am. God created me thusly. I am bone and sinew. I am sarcasm and spit. I am still the same individual I was this time last year although events have occurred to dim the hope I once had for justice in this world. That is another matter that should not concern you for they did not happen in your world, Joe. Still with me, or have you nodded off yet?

I state, with much veracity and quite a bit of alcoholic courage that you, Sir are guilty of the same misdemeanor that you accuse me of. Your same, tired prose bores my eyes on a daily basis. Your weak willed posts complain of new people and you beg us to stop them from trodding upon your lawn. Same thing, different year. I've tried to ignore you. But, this is simply wrong.

Here is some advice from one who you have disdained since his first consonant in this forum. Type from the diaphragm. Strive to not be a Seanachai junior. Grab your own identity and maybe we will start to respect you.

[Hanns]

Well, I seem to be back but still have no free time in which to send turns to the collective festering herpes sores that call themselves my opponents. Some friggin' genius decided to grant vacation over x-mas and new years to both 1st and 3rd shifts so I'm stuck working an inordinate amount of overtime. The same moron that granted time off to my useless co-workers devised a schedule for me worthy of Joseph Mengele involving working alternating 12 and 16 hour shifts. My sleep schedule is massively messed up and I haven't checked my email all week. I think the Army is going to retroactively grant me SEAR certification for this test of endurance. The only bright side is my paychecks have more overtime than regular hours which will allow me to purchase more gamey German things that go BANG! Upon further reflection I believe this explanation is much too cerebral for you collection of drooling, finger sniffing gits so I proffer this: I HATE YOU GITS! SODD OFF! You'll get a feckin' turn when I'm good and ready.
And to all a good night........
Hanns

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:
Strive to not be a Seanachai junior. Grab your own identity and maybe we will start to respect you.<hr></blockquote>

Stop being so mean to poor, old Joe, you nazi bully-boy.
You know how sensitive and emotional the Justicar is and if anyone is going to make him cry, it's not going to be you.
If it takes you a belly full of liquor to give you the courage to pick on the 'pool's girly-man well, more shame on you.

We're with you Joe . Chin up little buckeroo!

[Hanns]

Stuka,
I must say that you sigline is the most horrifying thing I have ever read. Why would a man wish this upon another man? I've spent the last dozen odd years making sure this doesn't happen when I umm... make the two backed beast with a pretty young female (human you sicko 'strines, geesh!). People are so proud of their little bags of piss, poo and spittle and yet I'm constantly amazed they don't get rid of them so they can back to the fun part which is making them. Gotta admire the grit and tenacity of the ol' ratbrain. Brainstems of the world unite (and copulate)!
Hanns

[Joe Shaw]

Hiram, Hiram, Hiram, Hiram ... and Hiram. I recall with great clarity your first tentative steps into the pool, with many a "please sir, may I be the doormat today, sir?" and the occassional "what a jolly lot of fellows here, would it be taken amiss if I were to join in?" and the odd "Oh no, sir, it's not that I actually MIND Sir Bauhaus, not exactly, but he does, well ... STARE so doesn't he?"

You see lad, in those far off days you had a certain ... style. Forlorn, pathetic, even pitiful but a style. It was something ... different and that was a GOOD thing. Now though, you've fallen in with the wrong crowd. They seem to think that merely stringing insulting words together in any old fashion is enough. Well lad ... it ISN'T!

You have to ask "What is a Justicar?" when the correct question is "What is NOT a Justicar". Now we all realize that your absence from our midst has left you without guideposts to the current situation ... we don't care. If you can't be bothered to do the hard work of catching up then it's to be YOUR loss.

I am not a King, merely a poor struggling Justicar trying to do his duty as Gawd gives me the light to see that duty. And in the twilight of my years my heart will return here and my last thoughts shall be of the Pool, and the Pool ... and the Pool.

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And it's going to PISS ME OFF if you're still posting tripe, so snap it up boyo and post something that doesn't bore the socks off Seanachai ... and we all know what a high tolerance HE has.

Joe

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

I am still the same individual I was this time last year although events have occurred to dim the hope I once had for justice in this world.

Strive to not be a Seanachai junior. Grab your own identity and maybe we will start to respect you.<hr></blockquote>

There's no one over the age of 25 that wants justice, lad. As you get older, you vastly prefer mercy.

And 'Seanachai' juniour? My name's being bandied about in a number of odd and unsavoury ways, lately. Don't make me turn my hand to a bit of writing to straighten you all out.

[Croda]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:


There's no one over the age of 25 that wants justice, lad. As you get older, you vastly prefer mercy.
<hr></blockquote>

Gosh how I hate to start something, but I'm over 25 and I certainly enjoy a good dose of justice with my mercy. I even enjoy a good dose of justice with my McDonald's french fries and McChicken. Justice is served well warm, cold, or on a kaiser roll with a dill pickle spear. I believe some ninny even entitled a Justicar of this thread. Would not justice be the root word of justicar? (Gosh I hope I'm right or Andreas will lambast me again for my pathetic American education).

Mercy is what didn't happen that makes the justice necessary.

And Hiram, if you think that I'll forget about machine-gunning those Iowa farmboys trying desparately to live long enough to see the inside of that house, then you're as deluded as Shaw. Send the turn you cretin, or I'll tell Joe that you were secretly badmouthing the MBT and laugh as I watch him go medievally self-righteous on your candy ass.

[Yeknodathon]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:


"we've been best friends for donkey's years"

<hr></blockquote>

...eh? wot?.... er, oooh, someone mention donkeys?

Yeknod

[CMplayer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hanns:
[b] People are so proud of their little bags of piss, poo and spittle and yet I'm constantly amazed they don't get rid of them so they can back to the fun part which is making them.<hr></blockquote>

You wouldn't be here to enjoy it if it weren't for your mom and dad changing your diapers and wiping your snot, you selfish, ungrateful git. Sheesh!

BTW your excuses are NOT acceptable. Send a turn, even if it means sacrificing a few bleary minutes of your beauty sleep.

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Hiram, Hiram, Hiram, Hiram ... and Hiram. I recall with great clarity your first tentative steps into the pool...
And it's going to PISS ME OFF if blah blah
*Tripe edited for the sake of brevity
<hr></blockquote>

Yes, you would remember my first splash in the pool because you, Joe, were here before me. You'll be here after me. I had to edit your response because you are oh so much like the originator of verbosity. That would be Seanachai

I'm curious. What would you do if I really pissed you off? Ignore me? hehe

Edited to add a response to Croda because I am bored of messing with Joe.

Croda You'll get your turn when I send it and not a moment sooner. The more caterwauling I hear from your end of the pool means the slower turnaround time. It was you who challenged me, Sparky!! So, take that lower lip, pull it up over your head and swallow.

[ 12-28-2001: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]</p>

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

http://joeshaw.org/

I wonder if that is the justicarrot's website.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:
http://joeshaw.org/

I wonder if that is the justicarrot's website.<hr></blockquote>Gawd I hope not! I mean, sure, there are those blank days to account for but I think I'd have remembered and anyway I didn't see ANYTHING in there about little grey men with big eyes so it doesn't seem related.

Joe

[Croda]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joey:
...anyway I didn't see ANYTHING in there about little grey men with big eyes so it doesn't seem related.

Joe<hr></blockquote>

So if you had a web page it would have pictures of Andreas all over it? Wierd.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Croda:


So if you had a web page it would have pictures of Andreas all over it? Wierd.<hr></blockquote>Now Croda, part of the problem with your current spate of postings is that you simply post without asking yourself, "Does this make ANY sense at all or am I simply posting to be posting?" In the above referenced instance it's clear that the later was in force.

Joe

[Croda]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Now Croda, part of the problem with your current spate of postings is that you simply post without asking yourself, "Does this make ANY sense at all or am I simply posting to be posting?" In the above referenced instance it's clear that the later was in force.

Joe<hr></blockquote>

Which is in stark contrast to your prosaic additions to the thread, the purpose of which are to comment on everyone else's comments and explain why they are still not at your level. It was as plain as the self-righteousness on your face that my post was aimed at hurling a random disparaging remark towards Andreas for no reason other than to do so. You, in wearing your wit on your sleeve, allowed that point to sail by the point catcher sitting on top of your pencil-neck and dismissed it as a waste of 3 inches of MBT space. Peut-être you could make a better effort to donate a modicum of you spare brain cycles towards the decryption of gibberish-riddled post such as the one in question. Given a little practice, I imagine you could endeavor to advance to a point where you actually get jokes and laugh at them with the rest of us. Come on, Joey, it's time to come play with the rest of the kids.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Given a little practice, I imagine you could endeavor to advance to a point where you actually get jokes and laugh at them with the rest of us. Come on, Joey, it's time to come play with the rest of the kids.<hr></blockquote> Croda lad, there is a substantial difference between "not getting" an example of sophisticated, clever wit and "not laughing" at an example, such as yours, that simply makes no sense.

Is Andreas grey? NO! Does Andreas have big eyes? NO! Is Andreas an alien? Well, the jury is still out on that but your comparision fails on the two counts that matter.

Perhaps you might attempt humor that is more to your level ... Double Bubble comic strips should provide you with a wealth of such material AND you get bubble gum too!

Joe

[Croda]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally whined by Cole Slaw:
I grow old...I grow old...
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Joey<hr></blockquote>

Is Andreas gray?
An odd, pasty white that many will agree is close enough.

Does Andreas have big eyes?
Small, beady ones behind small, beady glasses. Surely the paradox strikes you.

Is Andreas an alien?
I also will defer this question to later as alien is still such a subjective term.

As for Double Bubble...I heard that if you blowhard the bubble will be full of hot air and it can swell to gigantic proprtions. An odd coincidence.

[Yeknodathon]

Wibble

Yeknod

[Andreas]

Unlike the case with most of you bunch of low-life barely sentient scum, there are at least some pictures of the handsome diwil that is me abroad, and I shall leave it up to others to draw conclusions from the absence of your pictures.

Went to see Lord of the Rings last night. Bloody good movie. Go see it if you have not done so. If you have, go see it again. Keeps you lot occupied and out of (more) trouble.

Tossers. Crappy new year to all of you.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Andreas:
Unlike the case with most of you bunch of low-life barely sentient scum, there are at least some pictures of the handsome diwil that is me abroad, and I shall leave it up to others to draw conclusions from the absence of your pictures.

Went to see Lord of the Rings last night. Bloody good movie. Go see it if you have not done so. If you have, go see it again. Keeps you lot occupied and out of (more) trouble.

Tossers. Crappy new year to all of you.<hr></blockquote>Ah well, Andreas, you must forgive Croda (actually you needn't if you don't choose, merely a figure of speech). He hasn't yet learned that there should be a REASON for a post beyond practicing keyboarding. His attempted comparison of you to an small grey alien fell flat on it's face and he is too embarrassed to admit it.

As to Lord of the Rings, I concur wholeheartedly and plan on seeing it again as soon as possible.

As to your sig, I happened across "Quartered Safe Out Here" again and am re-reading it myself. My, but the man has a way with words doesn't he? He's one of my favorite authors of all time.

Oh and Stuka, you'll be pleased to know that (AaA) I've not yet completed the no doubt gripping turn you sent and (aAa) I've created a mission in IL-2 in your honor ... a couple of green JU-87s get bounced by my Mig3U. Unfortunately the bloody things have rear gunners (who'd have thought) and they are bloody good. Each time I've been shot down in flames and I've managed to kill exactly ONE Stuka and that one crashed AFTER I died so it doesn't count ... UbiSoft, fix or do somefink!

Joe

[Geier]

Roight you prancing gits. I've made a damndely-damn fine scenario that I want you losers to test thoroghly. It's a bit too big to be a Byte battle but I thoroghly recommend it for hotseat or pbem play. Size-wise it's about the same as Riesberg the old classic.
Send me a gawdam email and tell me who you're playing. It doesn't work against the AI as it is far too clever by half. It's about as balanced as a snake with armpits but hey, it's not about winning after all.

It's about making the other guy lose.

And turns will go out to everyone tomorrow. I've been creating again and you know what that does to me.

Johan