I met Peng and challenged him and got him drunk and he didn't even has the decency to

[Elvis]

to puke on me...is how the rest of that should have read.

You wankers know the rules and I don't feel like typing them.

[ 10-27-2001: Message edited by: Elvis ]</p>

[Joe Shaw]

Wanker!

(*) The title is grammatically incorrect.
(23) The title is incomplete.
(u) Even if the above weren't true it doesn't say a THING about Peng puking.
(gross) There are no rules (yes Elvis WE know them, but the SSNs DON'T).

In short ... Wanker!

Joe

[Elvis]

You're right, jitbag, but I did type the entire title but afetr hitting "post" it cut off the end.

[Speedbump]

Assuming that this is our new home, I must post the following:

Now we all know that winning and losing is not the important thing in the pool. However, I must point out one exception.

{Ahem} Mr. Spnkr, you may be beating me like a redheaded stepchild in CM, but your sooners have gone down to defeat at the hands of my beloved Cornhuskers! Thppppptttttt!!!

Cornhuskers 9-0, ranked #1 in the nation! {BCS}

Speedbump

[Lars]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Speedbump:
Your Loosers have gone down to defeat at the hands of my beloved Cornhuskers! Thppppptttttt!!!

Cornhuskers 9-0, ranked #1 in the nation! {BCS}
<hr></blockquote>

Now that is good news, just because it will P.O. MrSpkr

{edited due to malicious laughter}

[ 10-27-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]</p>

[MrSpkr]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Speedbump:
{Ahem} Mr. Spnkr, you may be beating me like a redheaded stepchild in CM, but your sooners have gone down to defeat at the hands of my beloved Cornhuskers! Thppppptttttt!!!

Cornhuskers 9-0, ranked #1 in the nation! {BCS}

Speedbump<hr></blockquote>


True enough. The teams both played admirably. Most stats were identical. Surprisingly, Oklahoma's offense statistically outperformed Nebraska. The real difference was the kicking game. Nebraska had the edge in field position off the kicking game throughout the day.

Oh yes, having our QB injured on that green rags and plywood surface you call a playing field didn't help. considering how many have been injured on that stuff this year, shouldn't Nebraska seriously consider replacing it?

However, I have always maintained that we could lose this game so long as we win against Nebraska in Irving in December. Oklahoma's strength of schedule can pull us right back into the hunt for a National Championship IF we win the rest of our games and take the Big 12 Championship. (since we will have beaten Texas, Nebraska once, and Texas A & M -- outside of Oklahoma, Nebraska has a very weak schedule this year, espeically since Notre Dame and Kansas State's seasons have gone into the toilet). This is particularly true if Miami loses a game.

In any event, I suspect the game in Irving will be different. If I am correct, Nebraska will play in the Fiesta, Orange or Sugar Bowls this year, and OU will go to Pasadena to beat the crap out of Miami. Don't book your flight to California just yet.

And please, don't stop dying in our PBEM on MY account - go ahead and bleed on out, really, feel free.

MrSpkr

[Panzer Leader]

Crap.


Or, in groggishness: "Nuts!"

[MrSpkr]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lars:
Now that is good news, just because it will P.O. MrSpkr<hr></blockquote>

Lars, Lars, Lars. Your comments are amusing. I don't expect you to understand this, but, while a loss is indeed disappointing, my beloved Sooners are not out of the National Title hunt by any means (particularly since Virginia Tech lost today). All we have to do is win out, then beat Nebraska down here in God's country in the Big 12 Championship.

Of course, I wouldn't expect you to know much about football championships. You are, after all, from a state within that useless pimple of a conference, the Big Ten (an interesting name, as an examination of the teams and their records suggests that only one of the schools, Michigan, actually HAS a college football team -- the rest appear to be Pop Warner league rejects and geeks who couldn't cut the physical requirements for the marching band).

[Lars]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrSpkr:
snipped due to excess football grogism

snipped again due to excess football grogism
<hr></blockquote>

I'm sorry MrSpkr, you have mistaken me for someone who actually cares.

I only was pointing out that, much like CM, it's not whether you win or lose, or even how you play the game, as long as I get to rub salt in your wounds, MrSpkr.

Oh, and before I forget.

HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa!

Loser.

{hehe, whew}

(edited for more of you know what)

[ 10-27-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]</p>

[Lawyer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrSpkr:


The real difference was the kicking game.

MrSpkr<hr></blockquote>

There ya have it from his own in-grown lips! Sounds kinda like his sex and work life, too.

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lawyer:
sex<hr></blockquote>

That's the que for Mace

Love the abomination of a title btw Elvis, you've really surpassed our previous title abominations!

Boy, I betcha the Just-a-car is annoyed.

Mace

[Wesreidau]

I'm in San Fran now.

escaped LA (ho ho). And stinky boring dull horrible Irvine. The white-business-shirt-clad armpit of the US.

Now I'm in San Fran which seems to be the hippy-dressed armpit of the US hehe ;)

It seems San Fran (while interesting) is living proof you shouldn't let hippies concentrate in one area and mate. There are SO many freaks around here. Peng and Elvis would fit right in.

Peter

[MrPeng]

Rule 1: No Poufters
Rule 2: i don't want to catch anybody not drinking
Rule 3: No Poufters
Rule 4: No maltreating the abos - if there's anybody watching
rule 5: No Pouftas
rule 6: there is NOOOOOO rule six
rule 7: No poufters
Right that concludes the reading of the rules, Bruce: Padre! a prayer.
Oh lord we beseech thee. Amen!
Crack tubes!
What's new Bruce going to be teaching?
etc etc etc

Actually here are the rules as a public service to SSNs not that they deserve it:

Ahem: Depart a lot now or we make castinets out of your testicles already!

XII. This is the Peng Ladder Whereby rank order is judged by on 2 specific qualitites:
4. The groginess of posts &
b. How many games you have won and by the most points &
11. how much you drank last night in that TCP/IP game and if you got sick on your shoes or not.

42. We don't like you, never have never will and would prefer it if you would just go away. Really.

34. If you are still here and still reading this it means that you are a complete idiot and should go away. Really.

iv. If you are still still here and have decided that you would like to play a game of CM against someone, by all means ask, but there are certain ways in which to ask and certain individuals whom you may ask, thusly:

4. Pick ONE person

$3 say very nasty things about that person, but DO TRY to make it personal. Berating the groups the person may be identified with is a sure way to get hissed off the thread. For example, racist, sexist and religious insults are not tolerated because basically they aren't funny to erudite, well read or otherwise clever people who have read things other than the backs of cereal boxes and can form complex sentences and stuff.

56. AARs are a MUST for a scum sucking newbie like you. They can be nothing but lies and filled with rambling diatribes against BTS and the horror of the innacuarcy of the Mantlet thingy on the KT in february of 1945, but they MUST conform to the rules setforth herein. Or they can be true to life. You make the call.

Finally, go away. We don't like you. Unless of course you are funny. Funny looking, funny talking, funny writing: whatever, just make us laugh. Your sole purpose for being here is our entertainment.

Peng

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrPeng:
Rule 1: No Poufters
Peng<hr></blockquote>

Just a bid of Aussie culture (oxymoron?) for ya, Peng!.

It's No Pooftas.

Mace

{edited because I forgot to bold...oh the shame!}

[ 10-27-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]</p>

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis
Numbering turn files is for idiots.<hr></blockquote>

Starting new MBT's is (apparently) for idiots.

Ya über-wanker.

[MrPeng]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:


Just a bid of Aussie culture (oxymoron?) for ya, Peng!.

It's No Pooftas.

Mace

{edited because I forgot to bold...oh the shame!}


[ 10-27-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]<hr></blockquote>

Dammit dammit dammit!
That was my first choice, but I changed it to the wrong way. Dammit. Correction Noted Macey

edited because I am much dumber than I look.

[ 10-27-2001: Message edited by: MrPeng ]</p>

[Speedbump]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrSpkr:


True enough. The teams both played admirably. Most stats were identical. Surprisingly, Oklahoma's offense statistically outperformed Nebraska. The real difference was the kicking game. Nebraska had the edge in field position off the kicking game throughout the day.
<hr></blockquote>

Don't forget the silly turnovers. No, no don't forget those interceptions.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>
Oh yes, having our QB injured on that green rags and plywood surface you call a playing field didn't help. considering how many have been injured on that stuff this year, shouldn't Nebraska seriously consider replacing it?<hr></blockquote>

Actually that turf was laid down last year. It is actually 8 inch long blades of 'grass' filled in with 6 inches of shredded rubber material. It is actually much closer to natural grass than traditional astroturf.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>

However, I have always maintained that we could lose this game so long as we win against Nebraska in Irving in December. Oklahoma's strength of schedule can pull us right back into the hunt for a National Championship IF we win the rest of our games and take the Big 12 Championship. (since we will have beaten Texas, Nebraska once, and Texas A & M -- outside of Oklahoma, Nebraska has a very weak schedule this year, espeically since Notre Dame and Kansas State's seasons have gone into the toilet). This is particularly true if Miami loses a game.<hr></blockquote>

Actually, if you look at the components to the BCS, Nebraska has one of the stronger strength of schedule ratings in the top 10.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>
In any event, I suspect the game in Irving will be different. If I am correct, Nebraska will play in the Fiesta, Orange or Sugar Bowls this year, and OU will go to Pasadena to beat the crap out of Miami. Don't book your flight to California just yet.<hr></blockquote>

Oh, I am not, but neither should you. You did get some help today from the Orangemen and the Cardinal, but I don't see Miami losing and Florida may have a stronger schedule.


That's all from football {yes the only kind of football - American - that really matters} central, now the rest of you can play in traffic.

Speedbump

{Edited because of the Berli-spawn UBB}
{Double spawn}

[ 10-27-2001: Message edited by: Speedbump ]

[ 10-27-2001: Message edited by: Speedbump ]</p>

[MrPeng]

Justicar! Point of order please. I don't recall this being the "College Football Pissing Contest" thread.

Go Princeton Tigers! WOOT!
Go Temple Owls! Huzzah!
Go JoePa! Icky Icky Icky f'tang!

SNORE!

Peng

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrPeng:
Justicar! Point of order please. I don't recall this being the "College Football Pissing Contest" thread.

Go Princeton Tigers! WOOT!
Go Temple Owls! Huzzah!
Go JoePa! Icky Icky Icky f'tang!

SNORE!

Peng<hr></blockquote>Quite right Peng, quite right. While the odd mention of such things is acceptable (we do speak of "thingies" after all) it's simply not proper to dwell on such unpleasant subjects. Mention it, once, then the rebuttal from the offended party and for Gawd's Sake DROP IT! Further such rowdy behavior will have the most severe of consequences. Specifically you'll be required to explain AUSTRALIAN RULES FOOTBALL to the CessPool ... none of us wants THAT to happen now do we?

Oh ... it occurs to the Justicariate that this might be interpreted by our Australian friends as an invitation to expound on this ... thing. WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW. For an American football fan to be forced to explain Australian Rules Football would require that they actually WATCH a match ... and then have to explain scores like:

East Elbow Wart: 45 17
North Farthing Bellows: 23 22 ... not to mention those odd chaps in the white zoot suits who point their fingers at various incomprehensible times.

Now THAT is a punishment.

Joe

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrPeng:
Go Princeton Tigers! WOOT!
Go Temple Owls! Huzzah!
Go JoePa! Icky Icky Icky f'tang!
Peng<hr></blockquote>

Go ducks, and best of all;
<big>GO BEAVERS!</big>

Really, when you get right down to it, who can't root for a good Beaver now and then?

Sooners and Cornhuskers my arse! They sound like a prison film.

I'm sure we can all get behind a good Beaver when the opportunity arises!

{edited because I got all excited rooting for the BEAVERS!}

[ 10-27-2001: Message edited by: Leeo ]</p>

[Stixx]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
explain AUSTRALIAN RULES FOOTBALL <hr></blockquote>

Aerial Ping Pong!!!

Jeeeeezzzzzzzzz, even Australians don't like AFL!. That's for Victorians only! and we all know that they are not true Aussies!.

Almost as bad as bloody Tasmanians!!.

Rugby League is the only True football code!

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stixx:


Aerial Ping Pong!!!

Jeeeeezzzzzzzzz, even Australians don't like AFL!. That's for Victorians only! and we all know that they are not true Aussies!.

Almost as bad as bloody Tasmanians!!.

Rugby League is the only True football code!<hr></blockquote>

What would you know? I mean you are from Queensland!!!!

Mace

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Leeo:
{edited because I got all excited rooting for the BEAVERS!}
<hr></blockquote>

In Australia, Rooting has different Connotations!

You may consider rewording your statement.

Mace (who is currently ...sooo... wacked!!!)

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:

In Australia, Rooting has different Connotations!
You may consider rewording your statement.
<hr></blockquote>

For our dimmer antipodeans, perhaps I should explain; by Rooting, I mean "to noisily applaud or encourage...;to wish succes or or lend support..." All of this to Beavers! What could be better than that? Who doesn't wish for Beaver success in their personal life? Let's face it, you Aussies are just plain daft if you can't appreciate a victorious Beaver now and then.

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Leeo:
perhaps I should explain; by Rooting, I mean "to noisily applaud or encourage...;to wish succes or or lend support..." All of this to Beavers! What could be better than that? Who doesn't wish for Beaver success in their personal life? Let's face it, you Aussies are just plain daft if you can't appreciate a victorious Beaver now and then.<hr></blockquote>

Well, in Australia, Rooting is an act of procreation, and I must admit some fun!

As for Beaver, no comment.

Mace

{edited for spelling mistakes)

[ 10-28-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]</p>

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:
As for Beaver, no comment.
<hr></blockquote>

Well, I shouldn't comment, but being a rude American, I will. In these parts, a Beaver, aside from being the mascot associated with my alma mater, Oregon State University, is also known in the local vernacular as, ahem, well, it has to do with procreation, but has nothing to do with the equipment with which you abuse sheep. And I ain't talking about the shears (nudge, nudge, know what I mean? Know what I mean? Say no more, say no more.)

[OGSF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:


Well, in Australia, Rooting is an act of procriation, and I must admit some fun!

Mace<hr></blockquote>

Och noo, wid tha bae wha they used tae call ye "Wombat"?

Bruce: "Why'd they call 'im "Wombat", Gazza?"
Gary: "Cos he eats, roots and leaves."

*snorkle*

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABC DJimmy

[Mace]

Whoops, drinking and bulletin board editing doesn't work!

Mace

[ 10-28-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]</p>

[**YK2**]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Speedbump:

That's all from football {yes the only kind of football - American - that really matters} central, now the rest of you can play in traffic.

<hr></blockquote>

*SURPRISED LOOK*
Americans play football?
:D

[Elvis]

WHAT IS THIS!!!!! THE FREAKING ALL SPORTS PENG THREAD!!!!! DID YOU SEE ANYTHING IN THE TITLE ABOUT SPORTS!!!!!!!! IS THIS BLODDY ESPN (a American all sports network)?????!!!!!????

ENOUGH ALREADY!!!! OK good, I off to get sme food in me before heading out to the Eagles v Raiders game. I think it will be the toughest chalenge the Eagles will have all year. I expect it to be a very long day for...WHAT THE F*UC*!!!!!!!! YOU GITS HAVE ME DOING IT TOO!!!!!! YOU WANKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! (except Emma of course whom I should address as a wankette)!!!!!!!
There I feel much better now. And Peter since you're in SF which is right across the bay from Oakland you should have no prolem catching the game in a local..........AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHH HHHHHHH !!!!!WHEN WILL THIS ALL STOP!!!??!!!!

[CMplayer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:
..........AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHH HH !!!!!WHEN WILL THIS ALL STOP!!!??!!!!<hr></blockquote>

Decaf, Elvis, decaf.

[Lawyer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stixx:


Jeeeeezzzzzzzzz, even Australians don't like AFL!. That's for Victorians only!
<hr></blockquote>

I think Mace likes Aussie football because of all those big men running around in short-shorts. And yes, that's VERY Victorian.

And Leeo's beaver fetish can be attributed to the fact that being cool in Ore-gone means wearing white socks.

[Hakko Ichiu]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrPeng:

Go Princeton Tigers! WOOT!

Peng<hr></blockquote>

While the sentiment is appreciated, we Princetonians never say "woot." We leave that to uncouth sheepshaggers from Dartmouth.

[Wesreidau]

Hey kids, Elvis.

Um, won't get down to Philly mate, looks like i am stuck on the west coast till a cpl of days before I leave.

Sorry about that! Next time ok smile.gif

PeterNZ

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally incompetently hissed by Lawyer:
Ore-gone<hr></blockquote>

Alright, you stuffed shirt, Perry Mason wannabe;

It's Orygun. That's how it's pronounced. ORY-GUN!

You're just jealous because you wouldn't know a beaver if it bit you on your naughty bits.

(and here is the epithet most apropos)
Ya <big>WANKER</big>!

[MrSpkr]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lars:
I only was pointing out that, much like CM, it's not whether you win or lose, or even how you play the game, as long as I get to rub salt in your wounds<hr></blockquote>

Lars, Lars, Lars . . . that is EXACTLY the point. Here, CM is the VEHICLE by which the taunts are delivered. If you don't play, you really don't belong here and can't comment on how loathsome your opponent truly is.

Similarly, FOOTBALL is the vehicle by which taunts about OU should be delivered. You don't live in a state that actually HAS a decent football team, so you really can't comment on whether another team is good or bad.

Poofer.

[Joe Shaw]

Right then, I'm declaring an:

Official Justicariate Intervention

There will be NO MORE FOOTBALL talk ... despite the fact that the Dallas Cowboys are now on a TWO GAME WINNING STREAK ... but NO MORE understand! I shall insist upon the thread moving to a new subject immediately, said subject being:

Does The Introduction of Windows XP and Current State of the Art Video Cards and their KNOWN Inability to Play CM Create a Galactic Instability which has been DIRECTLY Caused by BTS with Prior Knowledge and Aforethought Mainly Because They Really Didn't Think that LINDA WARCHEST Was/Is a REAL Name Especially Since "Her" Profile Doesn't Even Have an Email Address and All of This Despite the Fact that Lawyer Encouraged "Her"? Well ... DOES IT?

Joe

[Lars]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Lars, Lars, Lars . . . that is EXACTLY the point. Here, CM is the VEHICLE by which the taunts are delivered. If you don't play, you really don't belong here and can't comment on how loathsome your opponent truly is.
<hr></blockquote>

Exactly.

Send a setup, so I may have more fertile grounds that football to comment on just how loathsome an individual you really are.

Consider yourself more challenged than OU.

BTW, the Gophers won 66-10.

Unlike OU.

[Lars]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lars:

Ah, screw it.

<hr></blockquote>

[ 10-28-2001: Message edited due to a bottle of wine and a couple of those Manhatten thingies]

[ 10-28-2001: Help! I'm drunk and I can't stop trying to fix this]

[ 10-28-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]</p>

[Lawyer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrSpkr:


CM is the VEHICLE by which the taunts are delivered. If you don't play, you really don't belong here and can't comment on how loathsome your opponent truly is.

<hr></blockquote>

Blow Joe doesn't play, and he's still here. Not only that, he promoted himself to Just-a-Cur, whatever that is.

[Lawyer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Right then, I'm declaring an:

Official Justicariate Intervention


Does The Introduction of Windows XP and Current State of the Art Video Cards and their KNOWN Inability to Play CM Create a Galactic Instability which has been DIRECTLY Caused by BTS with Prior Knowledge and Aforethought Mainly Because They Really Didn't Think that LINDA WARCHEST Was/Is a REAL Name Especially Since "Her" Profile Doesn't Even Have an Email Address and All of This Despite the Fact that Lawyer Encouraged "Her"? Well ... DOES IT?

Joe<hr></blockquote>

In your heart, you know she's right. And I'm damned concerned that CM won't work on my new super computer that will be better than anybody else's computer. In the jungle, the ants must adapt to the elephants.

That won't be hard for Mr. Tinkles because he's been crawling up their posteriors to experience his own personal inner nervana for ages.

[Joe Shaw]

Oh but you mistake me Lawyer, I do play CM ... I just don't play YOU ... my stomach isn't quite strong enough to handle that yet! And you are further mistaken when you assert: <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>In your heart, you know she's right. And I'm damned concerned that CM won't work on my new super computer that will be better than anybody else's computer. In the jungle, the ants must adapt to the elephants. <hr></blockquote> Quite right Lawyer, after all if the world can't accomodate YOU in the prompt and efficient manner that you deserve, well, I for one despair of civilization.

As to Betty BattleTorso I'm fully in agreement with "her" as well. After all "she" waited a FULL three hours after posting "her" query on the Tech board before "she" rightfully took umbrage and posted on the main board as well. And who can blame "her"? Why Windows XP has been out for ... DAYS now. How DARE BTS not look into that prospect immediately? And after all that "she's" done for BTS and this community you'd think they'd have consulted "her" as to the priority of CM2 vs. CM1 and XP compatibility. Obviously their slack attitudes and PROVEN poor customer service was directly responsible for THAT CRIME and "she" had every right to DEMAND immediate perfection.

I can certainly understand why YOU would support "her" position ... it's what we've come to expect of ... our Lawyer.

Joe

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Leeo:

Let's face it, you Aussies are just plain daft if you can't appreciate a victorious Beaver now and then.<hr></blockquote>

I think its just adorable how those plucky little beavers make those wood dens across those rivers.

I still wouldn't want to root one though.

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Justicar edict:
There will be NO MORE FOOTBALL talk ... <hr></blockquote>

I agree!

Besides Cricket season is now underway and once more the uber-cricket team, Australia, is again ready to take is place as the greatest cricket team in the world.

It's ...so... hard to be humble when Australia brings out so many winners!

Mace

[Stuka]

Mind you, I can't say that beaver rooting has ever really taken off here in Australia.

Best left to the Orygunnians I'd reckon.

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:
Mind you, I can't say that beaver rooting has ever really taken off here in Australia.<hr></blockquote>

No wonder your population is decreasing. Perhaps you've been rooting too much for Football?

Hard to do better than a wet, furry beaver for some fun and games. Jeesh, do I have to draw pictures?

[OGSF]

Ah wantae see a picture...

[Stuka]

Ahn passiblae ah wee videoo tae

[OGSF]

An tha "scrartch an' snaiff" thangy as waill...

An StukaPukaPants, deye wannae bae toppled fraim ye perch o' ill-gotten wins? Ah'll send ye a setup af'n ye di laddie...

[ 10-28-2001: Message edited by: OGSF ]</p>

[dalem]

Ohhh, I wish I didn't hate sigs so much because if I didn't I would steal the following offering from our beloved you-know-who:

Re CM2:

"I all buy it becuase...is the Eastern Front the largest theater (one land) of war ever in the 20th century."

I mean, that's the best EVER.

[Stuka]

Aye, brung ut oon, yea yelloow belard beaver bufferrr.

[OGSF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by dalem:
[QB]Ohhh,... [QB]<hr></blockquote>

Wha's mah turrrn, ye weepin' cold sore? Ah've nae ainly ferrgotten' mah stankin' plan, Ah cannae even spell tha stankin word (plan)!!

Mah laddies are itchin' tae tramp aintae tha teeth o' ye defences ain tha feckin' snoo, an' ye tardy turrn-aboot as denyin' thaim tha chance fer glory!

bastaarrrd.

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABC DJimmy

[dalem]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by OGSF:


Wha's mah turrrn, ye weepin' cold sore? Ah've nae ainly ferrgotten' mah stankin' plan, Ah cannae even spell tha stankin word (plan)!!

Mah laddies are itchin' tae tramp aintae tha teeth o' ye defences ain tha feckin' snoo, an' ye tardy turrn-aboot as denyin' thaim tha chance fer glory!

bastaarrrd.

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABC DJimmy<hr></blockquote>

Either I have 4 (four) bad hard drives or my replacement motherboard is a cruel joke. I will try to coax a few more turns out tomorrow. New (again) motherboard should be here by end of week and I can resume my fevered CM schedule.

[Speedy]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:


I agree!

Besides Cricket season is now underway and once more the uber-cricket team, Australia, is again ready to take is place as the greatest cricket team in the world.

It's ...so... hard to be humble when Australia brings out so many winners!

Mace<hr></blockquote>

Was it wise of you to make a mention of Cricket after the Bushrangers poor performance at the Punt Rd oval on Sunday?

{edited just to let you all know that I really, really don't like horses. This is particularly true when the wrong bloody ones win}

[ 10-29-2001: Message edited by: Speedy ]</p>

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Speedy:
Was it wise of you to make a mention of Cricket after the Bushrangers poor performance at the Punt Rd oval on Sunday?<hr></blockquote>

Och aye, Speedy, ye a whee Baaaastarrrd an' sasinach....sen' me a setoop an' I'll pin yor eers to the toop of ye hed, Jimmea.

Och, an' tha bigga tha betta!

Baaaastarrrd!

Mace

[Berlichtingen]

As you well know, recently the was a gathering of the Olde Ones (http://berlichingen.tripod.com/peng/mn/oldones.html). At this gathering, several things were discovered.
Peng has delusions of grandeur (http://berlichingen.tripod.com/peng/mn/delusions.html) The origin of Shandorf (http://berlichingen.tripod.com/peng/mn/bastardson.html) And something special for Mace (http://berlichingen.tripod.com/peng/mn/formace.html)

more later

[Berlichtingen]

Germanboy,

Pray tell us the story of Ratboy

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:
At this gathering, several things were discovered.
And something special for Mace (http://berlichingen.tripod.com/peng/mn/formace.html)<hr></blockquote>

Damn you Berli,I'll be having nightmares for the rest of my life!!!!!

Mace

[Stuka]

Does Peng try to look like Henry Winkler on purpose?

[Stixx]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:
Germanboy,

Pray tell us the <hr></blockquote>

I believe the correct English would be "Please tell us the....."

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stixx:
I believe the correct English would be "Please tell us the....."<hr></blockquote>
That means a lot coming from an Aussie... do you even remember when your ancestors still spoke English?

[MrSpkr]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lars:
Exactly.

Send a setup, so I may have more fertile grounds that football to comment on just how loathsome an individual you really are.

Consider yourself more challenged than OU.

BTW, the Gophers won 66-10.

Unlike OU.<hr></blockquote>

I'm glad your local peewee team is doing so well -- it really does a young child's mind well to succeed. Perhaps they can take that success along with them into puberty and really make something of themselves.

Then again, being from Minnesota, probably not.

As to the challenge, send me a setup. Don't expect a reply until AFTER the 31st. Work will keep me busy until then (after which I will happliy resume kicking everyone's butt, except Berli, who is using his malignant powers to alter physics, forcing my bullets and artillery shells to magically sail over his troops while his are magnetically drawn to mine).

Poofer.

[MrPeng]

Photos obviously doctored. I am not nearly so handsome in real life.

[Iskander]

How odd: it's 1132 on Monday... I'm at work... not working now of course...

But to see those... horrible... pictures, I just know that I must be drunk....

Please make it stop.

[CMplayer]

Prate on about your drunken antics but I just thought I'd post some more abuse of Mr. Intellectual Cop Splatty. TUSH MINNIE! How dare you send piat teams off to snoop around enemy held forests like that? Shame on you! Tonk tonk on the head! Yes folks, Mr. know it all Slapps has received yet another of the shocks and blows that flesh is heir to, another of life's little slaps...ambushed by mobile marauders I doubt he ever even spotted, and who melted away into the forest.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>As you well know, recently the was a gathering of the Olde Ones. At this gathering, several things were discovered.<hr></blockquote> While I harbor no illusions (well ... the one about the cheerleader who REALLY digs older guys perhaps) about the ultimate aim of Berli, i.e. the triumph of evil over good ... and probably the cheerleader thing TOO, I would like to thank him for taking the time to obtain and post a photo of the Olde Ones. It answers, I believe, MANY of the questions I and others have long had.

Joe

[Stixx]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Do you even remember when your ancestors still spoke English?<hr></blockquote>

Huh? English? I member bein teached somefink bout it at schol but me cani't member!!!

[CMplayer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>

Huh? English? I member bein teached somefink bout it at schol but me cani't member!!!<hr></blockquote>

That reminds me. Hear ye hear ye. The RESULT of my SECOND Peng Challenge MATCH against SSN Suxx:

In my very own scenario Ethnic Cleansing

CMplayer 100
Suxx 0

Total Axis chest-pounding victory. Up me a notch on the ladder, laddies.

Once again Suxx has demonstrated his talent for dying cheerfully. His objective was to exit refugees, but he stooped to the unheard of gamey tactic of rushing the edge of the board with everyone at once. Thus he denied me the opportunity of using the flamethrowers, which must have been one of his grog tricks. The revised version of the scenario will prevent this with pits, barbed wire and wasps.

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by CMplayer:
In my very own scenario Ethnic Cleansing<hr></blockquote>

Let's see,

You designed a scenario and foisted it on Stixx (not bolded because he is still a SSN), then you actually had the nerve to claim a victory even though it the scenario was in beta, and obviously unbalanced?

Boy, is Stixx dumb (bolded to emphasise that Stixx is dumb).

Mace

[ 10-29-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]</p>

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Boy, is Stixx dumb (bolded to emphasise that Stixx is dumb).<hr></blockquote> Ummm, in that case I think the procedure is to bold AND italicize ... or maybe it's BOLD and Italicize ... no, wait I remember it's BOLD & ITALICIZE ... unless it's ... hang on ... carry the two, move the decimal and scream like a chicken ... no I was right, yeah that's it.

In related news today, Betty BattleBoobs has taken her toys (XP and some magic video card) and, we hope fervently, gone home to mope. I'm terribly disappointed in ALL of you for your failure to follow my lead.

jd, having gamily sent his infantry ahead of his tanks (btw, I suspect that BTS hasn't properly modelled the slope of his German tunics, they're not dying as quickly as I'd like and I blame non-penetrative hits by my Vickers MG) is having them pay the price for his inhumanity. I, OTOH, (actually my name is Joe Shaw but I've been thinking of changing and OTOH seems a reasonably choice) am firmly ensconced in snug little buildings and woods and am waiting till I see the whites (or reds) of his eyes.

I chose jd for this game update because it's still too early for me to have clearly lost. The others ...

Joe

[Stixx]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by CMplayer:

CMplayer Suxx

Once again Suxx has demonstrated his talent for dying cheerfully.<hr></blockquote>

CMplayer sux? We all already knew that!

Well i had to be that "High" to play you of course i'm going to die cheerfully!.

[Stixx]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:

The scenario was in beta, and obviously unbalanced?
<hr></blockquote>


Unbalanced! If you call 1 green infantry company with "Low" ammo up against full german squads, HT's and Flame throwers "Unbalanced" then, yeah your probably right!.

[Lars]

Really Shaw, setting up another account just so you can start threads saying your right.

It’s so gamey it's inspired.

I’m only sorry that I didn’t think of it first.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lars:
Really Shaw, setting up another account just so you can start threads saying your right.

It's so gamey it's inspired.

I'm only sorry that I didn't think of it first.<hr></blockquote>Well lad {chuckle} I WAS your Knight and you WERE my Squire ... I didn't teach you EVERYTHING I know.

I wonder what form Iskander will choose for his abject apology? Formal perhaps, along the lines of "Sir Joe Shaw, I do hereby fully and completely apologize and retract any and all statements made by me which might have been construed as questioning your correctness. Subsequent events have proven you in the right again ... I was foolish to have doubted you and do hereby aplogize in full and beg that you would do me the honor of accepting same." Ummm, yes, that should do nicely.

Joe

[Lawyer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Oh but you mistake me Lawyer, I do play CM ... I just don't play YOU ... my stomach isn't quite strong enough to handle that yet! And you are further mistaken when you assert: Quite right Lawyer, after all if the world can't accomodate YOU in the prompt and efficient manner that you deserve, well, I for one despair of civilization.

As to Betty BattleTorso I'm fully in agreement with "her" as well. After all "she" waited a FULL three hours after posting "her" query on the Tech board before "she" rightfully took umbrage and posted on the main board as well. And who can blame "her"? Why Windows XP has been out for ... DAYS now. How DARE BTS not look into that prospect immediately? And after all that "she's" done for BTS and this community you'd think they'd have consulted "her" as to the priority of CM2 vs. CM1 and XP compatibility. Obviously their slack attitudes and PROVEN poor customer service was directly responsible for THAT CRIME and "she" had every right to DEMAND immediate perfection.

I can certainly understand why YOU would support "her" position ... it's what we've come to expect of ... our Lawyer.

Joe<hr></blockquote>

Joe, I really haven't seen such putrid BS in public since Nixon told us he wasn't a crook. Having you anywhere near a thread where real computer facts and technical issues are involved is intellectual pollution. You and factual analysis and interpretation just don't get along well. Never have, never will.

You didn't say one thing on issue in the XP thread, just the usual "justicar" opinions about how you see the world and injustice. It's the same useless crap you constantly spew, which most of us choose to ignore like the embarrassing stain on Uncle Pete's pants. It can be funny... unless big money is involved. Especially MY MONEY!

Since you now and forever will play CM on a Radio Shack Tandy demo machine from 1994, don't interfere with discussions among people who spend real money on new computers to get better results. XP incompatibility is an important issue for those of us who want to play the current CM game on a new machine, whatever happens with CM 2.

I don't want to lose the ability to play CM when I upgrade. True, you won't need to bother about it as gameplay is beneath you. But you can at least take comfort in knowing that your Tandy still works for writing crap on the CM forum. You won't need an XP upgrade for that.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Since you now and forever will play CM on a Radio Shack Tandy demo machine from 1994, don't interfere with discussions among people who spend real money on new computers to get better results. XP incompatibility is an important issue for those of us who want to play the current CM game on a new machine, whatever happens with CM 2.<hr></blockquote>Well I hope they get it worked out so that EVERYONE can (a) play CMBO with whatever system they have (b) get CMBB without undue delay and (c) laugh at Lance Corporal Bunny ... which is the REALLY important thing.

Joe

{edited on account of how I was unduly nasty and not funny ... I may not always be funny, but I can always try}

[ 10-29-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]</p>

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally spewed (and not in that good way having to do with alcohol)by Lawyer:
XP<hr></blockquote>

PIECE OF CRAP*

"Tried to save the trees
bought a plastic bag
the bottom fell out
It was a piece of crap."

"PIECE OF CRAP!"

"Saw it on the tube,
bought it on the phone,
now you're home alone
It's a piece of crap."

"PIECE OF CRAP!"

"I tried to plug it in
I tried to turn it on
When I got it home
It was a piece of crap."

"PIECE OF CRAP!"

"Got it from a friend
on him you can depend
I found out in the end
It was a piece of crap."

"PIECE OF CRAP!"

"I'm trying to save the trees
I saw it on TV
they cut the forest down
to build a piece of crap."

"PIECE OF CRAP!"

"I went back to the store
they gave me four more
the guy told me at the door
It was a piece of crap."

"PIECE OF CRAP!"

*as per Neil Young

Oh, and Lawyer?
Yer a "PIECE OF CRAP!"

Love and kisses,
Leeo

[Simon Fox]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lawyer:
I don't want to lose the ability to play CM when I upgrade.<hr></blockquote> There is a fundamental flaw in your line of reasoning. In order to "lose" something one must first be in possession of it. Though I am sure the ability to claim "ownership" of that which doesn't belong to you figures strongly in your professional life.

[Berlichtingen]

This thread title (http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=1&t=022084) is enough to make even non-pods vomit. It also provides proff that outer bourdies are nitwits

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:
This thread title (http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=1&t=022084) is enough to make even non-pods vomit. It also provides proff that outer bourdies are nitwits<hr></blockquote>

Jealous heart, oh jealous heart stop beating, don't you know, the trouble you have caused.

Hah! When was the last time YOU got a thread that told the whole CM world you were right?

Joe

[Seanachai]

I am a mystery no longer. Berli has posted my picture. Mind, I look much worse in person.

I wish we had a photo of Lars, because Peng is right. He does look like Gary Shandling.

Oh, and Lars actually got some blonde's phone number while we were at the bar that featured a pregnant goat, some bearded freak done up like a pirate advertising the loathsome Capt. Morgan rum and having his picture taken with drunken 35 year old secretaries, a drunken nail hammering contest, a beautiful waitress in pigtails, a table full of drunken German tourists, and karaoke performed by Woody Allen.

On the strange side, Lars admitted to having his picture taken with the goat.

[CMplayer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stixx:



Unbalanced! If you call 1 green infantry company with "Low" ammo up against full german squads, HT's and Flame throwers "Unbalanced" then, yeah your probably right!.<hr></blockquote>

Those were the guys you were supposed to SAVE with your REINFORCEMENTS! But since you just ran them all out into the open, the game didn't get that far. Hee hee.

[Stixx]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by CMplayer:
Those were the guys you were supposed to SAVE with your REINFORCEMENTS<hr></blockquote>

Hey thnx for telling mate!

Nah really, thnx!. I really appreciate you telling me, the briefing was so full and in-depth i don't know how i could possibly of misunderstood you.

Stix

[CMplayer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

On the strange side, Lars admitted to having his picture taken with the goat.<hr></blockquote>

http://www.frn.edu.stockholm.se/byn/img11.gif

And here's the picture.

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:
I am a mystery no longer. Berli has posted my picture. Mind, I look much worse in person.
<hr></blockquote>

Try getting a haircut, its not 1984 you know.

[Mark IV]

How sad to see our Lawyer emoting for free, though hardly pro bono.

Several folks have mentioned the Win 98 Compatibility mode of XP. Perhaps the sky was really an acorn?

Normal humans, and Joe, objected to the shrill, unreasonable, demanding, whiney, cajoling, threatening, and trolly tone of the delicate young thing, who ended up flouncing out of the room in a huff anyway, after his/her/it's demands weren't met in 24 hours.

Now since MY machine can kick YOUR machine's butt, and HAS, and Kalifornia wants to harvest the thermal energy from the cooling fan on my 3 Googleherz CPU and I just moved the truck out of the garage to add more RAM and advanced alien civilizations in distant galaxies want to time-share my micro to run their month end payroll and my video "card" is cooled by liquid nitrogen to support its four-dimensional anti-aliasing, I think I am qualified to tell you that you are WAY off base here. Your whole argument smacks of Hitler, and sex.

It is sad that you chose to ride the blouse-tail of a cross-dressing trollette, and even sadder that you chose to ride that boardie crap in here, the Holy of Holies. It is saddest of all that it forces me to occupy the same end of a polemic as Joe Shaw. For the last I can neither forgive nor forget. I shall draw your likeness on the wall, and then gleefully roll it out with a nice latex (where is Bauhaus, anyway?) semi-gloss.

Or, in a word, feh.

[Iskander]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mark IV:
smack... Hitler... sex....<hr></blockquote>

FINALLY! A reasonable post!
The fact it's from a Californian (lat. 'land-of-hot-sex') is just amazing.

And, Pshaw, if you want anything from me -- much less some apology when even the Evil One knows I'm right -- then you'll have to tear it off me on the field of battle.

I await your setup, you cast-off cotton pony of a Mormon Wife.

[Herr Oberst]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:

...
Besides Cricket season is now underway and once more the uber-cricket team, Australia, is again ready to take is place as the greatest cricket team in the world.

It's ...so... hard to be humble when Australia brings out so many winners!

Mace<hr></blockquote>

Macey, Macey, Macey...

When will you learn that the rest of the world cares not a fart how big the insects grow in Australia, uber-crickets or unter-crickets or in between, they're all just bugs...

Around these parts, we spray those cricket-thingies to kill 'em all. 'Cause they make funny noises and keep us awake at night.

For those new to the sport, here's an explanation that shows just how advanced a sport it is...

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side thats been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!

[Joe Shaw]

Iskander, I would point out that the issue of my RIGHTNESS is quite clear cut and displayed for all to see ... much like Bauhaus' ... well, enough of THAT I think. I don't need to send a setup to know the right of the thing and your failure to apologize shows you for the poo-poo head we all know you to be. I won't play you, I won't, I won't, I won't.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>You have two sides, <snip> that is the end of the game!<hr></blockquote> And the above requires, IIRC, an indeterminate but substantial portion of the day to accomplish. I must admit, however, that being a long time Flashman fan I DO wish I understood the game better so I could appreciate his skullduggery ... now THERE, by Gawd, was a GAMEY guy!

Joe

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Herr Oberst:
For those new to the sport, here's an explanation that shows just how advanced a sport it is...

...blabber...[/QB]<hr></blockquote>

But you forget two things:

67) Alcohol, &

3.141) Bay 13

Mace

[Berlichtingen]

Hmm... football and computers. Perhaps I will return to read the next peng thread

ta

[Stuka]

In order to preserve the interest of the great Berli, hows about we change the subject matter chaps?

Hamster Shaving.

Nows theres a subject from the past thats bound to bring a reminiscent tear to the eye.
Why, I remember Mace trying to shave his cat (in leiu of a hamster). Oh yes, those were the days, a can of shaving foam, a terminally enraged pussy and old Macey attempting to pacify the beast with a length of 4 X 2 while holding a razor to its throat.
You never did find that finger again did you Mace? It was your finger wasn't it?

Ah yes, Hamsters, Voles and Chinchillas. The heady days of an earlier, simpler, more medieval 'pool.

*Sniff*

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Ah yes, Hamsters, Voles and Chinchillas. The heady days of an earlier, simpler, more medieval 'pool.<hr></blockquote> Don't START on your damned Voles again Stuka, I'm warning you! As to simpler, yes you are and medieval is what the Justicariate is going to get on your ass if you keep up with the Vole crap.

Joe

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mark IV:
How sad to see our Lawyer emoting for free, though hardly pro bono.

Several folks have mentioned the Win 98 Compatibility mode of XP. Perhaps the sky was really an acorn?

Normal humans, and Joe, objected to the shrill, unreasonable, demanding, whiney, cajoling, threatening, and trolly tone of the delicate young thing, who ended up flouncing out of the room in a huff anyway, after his/her/it's demands weren't met in 24 hours.
<hr></blockquote>

Also, as a final note on the whole 'Linda Warchest' episode, that garnered Joe Shaw a public and rather showy triumph, it should be noted that the mythical 'Linda Warchest' was later confirmed by Madmatt and Kwazydog to be just another incarnation of the unbelievably assholish and repeatedly banned Gunny Bunny.

This lad, for anyone who never encountered his posts, was rather like a half-witted version of Lewis (a frightening concept to begin with), who went out of his way to post inflammatory, stupid, and inane things whenever he chose to inflict his presence on the Board, and who posted for the sole purpose of beginning arguments, denigrating BTS, or as an exercise in stirring the little puddle of piss that sat festering between his ears.

Sadly, BTS will never, of course, make public his real name and the city that he litters with his 'life', or I'm sure some friendly Combat Missionaries would make a late night hospitality call and introduce his lips to his arse. I only wish they could persuade whatever porn-driven ISP that's willing to grant him an account to pull the plug on his access.

On the other hand, he did provide Lawyer with a stage on which to pose as Lear. Having foolishly given all his wealth to Microsoft and nVidia, he then rails against the cruelty of the world, that has left him bereft of fortune and security, and fears that he will be unable to play Combat Mission in his old age (next week).

[jdmorse]

http://d.eimg.com/f/APPLE/MESP/ipod72x50.gif

Hmm.......seems Peng has been spreading his seed a bit indiscrimately

[bauhaus]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Oh, and Lars actually got some blonde's phone number while we were at the bar that featured a pregnant goat, some bearded freak done up like a pirate advertising the loathsome Capt. Morgan rum and having his picture taken with drunken 35 year old secretaries, a drunken nail hammering contest, a beautiful waitress in pigtails, a table full of drunken German tourists, and karaoke performed by Woody Allen.

On the strange side, Lars admitted to having his picture taken with the goat.<hr></blockquote>

So you ended up going to that S&M bar with Hannsafter all.

[Lawyer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mark IV:

Now since MY machine can kick YOUR machine's butt, and HAS, and Kalifornia wants to harvest the thermal energy from the cooling fan on my 3 Googleherz CPU and I just moved the truck out of the garage to add more RAM and advanced alien civilizations in distant galaxies want to time-share my micro to run their month end payroll and my video "card" is cooled by liquid nitrogen to support its four-dimensional anti-aliasing, I think I am qualified to tell you that you are WAY off base here. Your whole argument smacks of Hitler, and sex.

Or, in a word, feh.<hr></blockquote>

First, let me say how happy I am that you have moved to a place where they put nuclear plants on earthquake faults. Me, I'm putting my money and faith on the earthquake and SoCal to do to you what any decently careless doctor should have done about... what, 50 years ago?

Second, let me point out to the assembled crowd that you took me in my rookie days when I had never even experienced a hidden field gun. The AI map favored you that time, yet you still whined the whole way. Being an honorable man, I even let you "win" the Lawyer's Cup as a result of that turkey shoot. Had you been an honorable man, you would have refused to cheat The Lawyer with a cheap AI win, but then you are in marketing, so honor never came into it.

Of course, I beat the snot out of you in our second game, even after your AA crew killed my HT crew mercilessly. After we broke even on games, you pulled your tried and true "I've got to work for months and months and can't play again" routine to chicken out of Certain Defeat and Ultimate Justice at the Hands of the Law.

Third, a marketing maven such as you must be in pig heaven living next to the original Disneyprison where Michael Eisner forces teenagers to suffocate in huge Mickey Mouse heads in order to lure "America's Best" spandex persons inside the "park" to spend their cash lavishly on MM attire and trikets. Had you lived 350 years ago, you could have given those dumb Manhattan indians enough Disney kitsch to buy the whole damned hemisphere, and still have had enough left over to get a low alchohol fruit martini at Pirate's Cove.

Fourth, you will undoubtedly be thrilled to learn that Joe Blow and I settled our minor tiff offscreen at your expense. Joe has promised to come visit you in LaLaLand, just as soon as his scabs heal up.

Finally, my new computer will be so far advanced over your Micron Milasma that I will smoke through the Peng thread and CM games like a Mexican goose eating greasy burritos at your favorite joint in East LA. BTW, Say "hi" to Hector in Leather as he "sizes" you up for "arm wrestling" in the back room.

And finally again being finally, Peng looks like Jethro's Beverly Hillbillies drunken brother, and YOU LOOK LIKE THE UGLY OFFSPRING OF SEANACHAI'S FILTHY UNION WITH BERLI IN A TAWDRY MINNYAPPELIST FLOPHOUSE!

Now go back downtown and return Rock Hudson's Star to it's proper place on Hollywood Blvd.

[ 10-30-2001: Message edited by: Lawyer ]</p>

[Lars]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:
I wish we had a photo of Lars, because Peng is right. He does look like Gary Shandling.<hr></blockquote>

I'm much better looking, and funnier too, not that that is very difficult.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>
Oh, and Lars actually got some blonde's phone number<hr></blockquote>

And it wasn't Shandorf's either.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>
On the strange side, Lars admitted to having his picture taken with the goat.<hr></blockquote>

Hey, the blonde roped me into that, and she was a blonde after all, and I did get her phone number.

Thank God Polaroid has gone bankrupt.

Did I mention she was a blonde?

[ 10-30-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]</p>

[Hakko Ichiu]

Oddly enough, I found another photo of the Olde Ones on the Web:

http://www.olywa.net/atd/hippie/freak.gif

Though I think this must be earlier, since Berli has hair...

[MrSpkr]

The Old Ones are caricatures from a 1970s pro-drug comic?

Let me guess, Berli is the cat . . .

[Stuka]

That looks like Maces cat overtaking the 'olde ones'.
Or is it a vole?
Still can't see his finger though.

What do you think Mr Tinkles, is it a vole or a puddy tat?

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally snorted by that freak of society, Lawyer
Finally, my new computer will be so far advanced over your Micron Milasma that I will smoke through the Peng thread and CM games like a Mexican goose eating greasy burritos at your favorite joint in East LA. <hr></blockquote>

Too bad that won't increase your proficiency at playing CM.

Ya Poofta!

Next you'll be saying your unit is larger than everyone elses. More lawyer lies. What a fifth-grader you are. Poofta.

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:
That looks like Maces cat overtaking the 'olde ones'.
Or is it a vole?
Still can't see his finger though.

What do you think Mr Tinkles, is it a vole or a puddy tat?<hr></blockquote>

Can't be my cat! My cat's been buried down the backyard for some 4 years.

Doesn't look like my Budgie either.

Mace

[Seanachai]

My, my. Where to begin? I ask myself.

So much to relate, to so many, who are so unworthy. Well, of course, we have to take 'unworthy' as being a relative concept. Because, after all, there are the Outer Boards, and Grogs, and general sodding idjits, after all.

My emails, lately, are filled with breathless, starry-eyed fanzine questions like:

"Ooh, Seanachai! What are Berli and Peng really like?! Is it true that Peng is ten feet tall and as recondite as a casual reading of Revelations?! Is Berli truly evil, and is it true that he's just Rasputin reborn?! Is it actually so that you're every maiden's heartfelt sigh of longing made flesh, and can post without reverting to references to bowels, thingies, and American football?"

Lads and Ladies, I'm here to give you the Truth. As everyone knows, you will be constantly, laughingly, and eternally lied to in the Peng Challenge Thread, but it is still one of the few places on the whole Combat Mission Forum where you will actually be told the Truth. If you can see beyond the lines. If you can read between the trees. If you can take your pinch of snuff, and cast it over your shoulder for good luck. In short: if you're not a complete and utter goddamn pillock.

Peng is, in fact, rather oddly tall. But he has a rather friendly, lantern-jawed look of meek psychosis that will fool the casual observer.

Meeting Peng reminds me of an interview with a British journalist that I watched some years ago. The journalist was one of the few in the West who'd been granted an interview with Libya's Quaddafi. When asked if he'd found Quaddafi 'unstable', he replied: "Oh, no, he's not merely unstable. The man is barking mad!"

For those who haven't experienced it, I recommend a 'networked' game with Peng. Berli, the Evil One, networked his laptop with Peng's on my dining room table, and we proceeded to play a number of TCP/IP game in my apartment. Peng carries on a running commentary during these games, all somewhat muttered and broken by laughter, non-sequitars, and ramblings that would make a hashshashin feel the need to clarify his position. If you can focus long enough to garner meaning, Peng will constantly give away unit/positional/mission intelligence. Mind, you'll suffer horrible spiritual dislocations trying to keep up with his general gibberish.

Gods, I'm tired again. Tomorrow night: Berli.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Gods, I'm tired again. Tomorrow night: Berli.<hr></blockquote> Right then lads, time for another Justicariate intervention and not a moment too soon either. Seanachai let's have no more of this. Merely seeing Peng's name in print is sufficient to put me off my vanilla wafers and milk for hours. YOUR voluminous description was more and more than more than I needed, or indeed wanted, to know. But I digest.

NOW you threaten to "tell all", to publish yet another "kiss and tell" (oh my that was an unfortunate choice of words wasn't it) article on Berli for the love of ... opps, almost said Gawd. Well it won't do, we won't have it, ignorance in this case IS bliss if not an excuse. Allow us our illusions that Berli MIGHT just be the result of actually eating all those brussel sprouts (do they not have sprouts in OTHER parts of Belgium then) right before bedtime.

And now ... another in my series of ...

CessPool Games I'm Playing

Agua Perdido, my loyal and trustworthy former squire is, I regret to say, slower than the snail who reported a drive by robbery by a gang of turtles by saying: "It all happened so fast." He sends turns once every Ice Age. It doesn't help that this is yet another Berli spawned laughfest featuring bocage, a village, bocage, a Canuck attack, bocage, too few forces for the job, bocage ... well you get the idea. I'm tiptoeing my way around, fearing ATGs, 'schreks, 'fausts and nasty magazines in German. Agua Perdido maintains a constant, mosquito like whine about his green troops of which he ain't got enough of anyway and why don't I get a move on already. It's ghastly.

Joe

[Mark IV]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lawyer:
...a low alchohol fruit martini...<hr></blockquote>

Now, that's just insulting.

How NICE that you and Joe are having offscreen trysts. They say there is someone for everyone.

Anyway, I'm off to San Antonio, where I always draw tactical inspiration from the Alamo. (Roll, roll) Here, have some more latex.

[Agua Perdido]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
vanilla wafers and milk for hours<hr></blockquote>

Aaaah, good times... good times...

My computer is broke. The Domestic Command Authority graciously authorized a shiny new optical mouse to replace my crappy old mechanical one (which, like General Pinochet's Cadillac, can't go left) on the occasion of my birthday (which I find to be disturbingly close to Peng's hatchiversary, or whatever one should call it... the undoubted source of any bad karma I've had to discharge at any time in my life). This prompted a spate of Fiscal New Year's upgrades which has resulted in:

vi). Six hours spent retrieving all the data in my PDA after a simultaneous battery failure and HD crash

Tango Uniform). An inoperable modem

FUBAR). An intermittently-operable CD-ROM

Lastly, a very comfortable-to-use, highly-ergonomic, razor-accurate-tracking, totally-bitchin'-lookin'-with-the-glowy-red-light-underneath-and-the-cool-clear-plastic-shell mouse

#$%*@!). There is no third thing

se7en). A baffling failure of both of my compression utilities (the only thing thusfar I have able to fix or do somefink)

tongue.gif ). <--I hate you all enough to post THIS!

UPDATES!

Well, can't run CM without a CD-ROM, can't send or receive turns without a modem, and I don't actually play the game even when my computer works (ask anyone I'm "playing"), so WHY THE FECK WOULD I HAVE ANY UPDATES?!

Pillocks.

Oh, alright, here:

I have come to a liberating revelation in my game with jdmorse. I'm defending with Canadians, right? If I win, he'll have been beaten by... Canadians! The horror of it! The shame! The calumny! The colonoscopy! If he wins, they were only Canadians (with their beady eyes and their flapping heads). Anyhow, I took so long setting up that I forget my plan and thought I was attacking. I knew that excellent starting position was too good to be true.

Joe Shaw continues to be a whinging lump. "Ooh, I need more reinforcements! Just because I have the whole goddamn Devil's Brigade and a platoon of feckin' crack Shermans to batter your handful of knock-kneed conscripts, don't expect me to ADVANCE... well, .... EVER!" The reason I play Joe so slowly is that the nothing that happens between turns is more interesting than the turns themselves.

Blah, blah, I'm playing other people, and I owe everyone turns or setups or whatever. Tough. You don't play me to play CM, you play me to wait. I'm the DMV of CM.

Agua Perdido

[Edited to announce: "Now serving #27" (Joe Shaw, stevetherat, jdmorse, Seanachai and Lars quickly check the slips of paper they pulled from the dispenser at the entrance... all bear numbers in the high three-digit range...)]

[ 10-31-2001: Message edited by: Agua Perdido ]</p>

[Slapdragon]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:


Can't be my cat! My cat's been buried down the backyard for some 4 years.

Doesn't look like my Budgie either.

Mace<hr></blockquote>

Sorry Mace, but that time I visited down under but was able to avoid visiting any CM people by changing my name and flying in on an Iranian passport, I happened to get that cat of yours. It is now a trophy in my Peng Challenge Trophy room, stuffed and mounted (I wont say what mounted it, but Sean should be ashamed of himself) next to the picture of Joe Shaw playing Frank N Furter with no costume needed (work clothes I assumed) and across from the remains of my Dell which blew up when I was playing a match with Abbott, who has not been seen in these parts for decades and was, I believe, kidnapped by Berli and fed to an ostrich.

Anyway, it is my birthday today, so sod off everyone for missing it. As a present, I declare myself a Yojimbo-Ronin Knight of the Peng Challenge Thread ©, since I know none of you would figure out what I really want for this very important birthday (my first one in two years that passed without tubes up my nose in fact).

So, happy All Hallows Eve, I hope Papa Gedi blesses you all with copius regurgitation of sticky carmal sweets mixed with cheap Foster's beer and canned meat product.

[ 10-31-2001: Message edited by: Slapdragon ]</p>

[Herr Oberst]

Aah, yes. The budget plan. "Wiltz in 20 men or less".

Yes, I scrounged some actual playing time last night, or rather early this morning, and partook of a Wild Bill scenario.

The snow was falling and the air was crisp and clean.

Needless to say, by the end of the scenario, all those hapless Amis were heading back to their buddies in Bastogne (thems that could walk or run anyway), and we Uber-truppen made our billets in some nice warm houses for the night.

The only down point is that an Ami TD took out one of my Pumas that was on the point. But c'est la vie, and besides, that's why he was out there.

On the left flank, the Panther and Hetzer combination played a vicious game of cat and mouse with the US armor, leaving burning hulks as testament to the superiority of well-sloped armor, both ricocheting numerous strikes from the Ami armor.

The right flank saw massed (4) Sdkfz fire suppressing the Ami infantry from a distance, while the valiant Hamstertruppen climbed over hill and dale to the VL.

The center was fairly quiet, right up until the VL flag turned for me. But by then, any Amis advancing to contest the VL were caught in a crossfire from each flank.

In the end, I suffered 5 KIA, 13 wounded, and 1 Puma lost while the fleeing Amis lost 42 KIA, 87 wounded, 2 mortars, 1 gun, and 3 vehicles lost.

Before you all get your panties in a wad, NO, this is not a post about an ongoing Cesspool game. And be happy about it, for were it indeed any of you Cesspool lackeys, I could have "Waltzed into Wiltz" with under 10 casualties.

To borrow a term...

WANKERS

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Anyway, it is my birthday today, so sod off everyone for missing it. As a present, I declare myself a Yojimbo-Ronin Knight of the Peng Challenge Thread ©, since I know none of you would figure out what I really want for this very important birthday (my first one in two years that passed without tubes up my nose in fact).<hr></blockquote> You need to give a chap a chance to get online you know, before you ASSUME that I've forgotten your birthday. Nothing could be further from the truth ... unless of course it's the truth. What you really want for your birthday, what your crave every day in fact, is ATTENTION! Therefore, on your hatching day:

You Ain't NO FECKING KNIGHT, you oozing, pus-filled carbuncle on the buttocks of humanity. You're barely a Squire and that only because Berli felt sorry for you ... as indeed we all do. You have, for some reason, found it necessary to inflict yourself upon us and make our lives even more of a living hell than normal, and this notice of your meaningless existence is far more than you deserve.

There, Happy Birthday.

Joe

[bauhaus]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:
[QB
Peng is, in fact, rather oddly tall. [/QB]<hr></blockquote>

Now, are you sure you're not oddly short?

[MrPeng]

I am, In fact, oddly, precisely 6 feet tall. No more, no less.

And Good Bard, The barking mad gibbering during TCP/IP play is a rudimentary form of Psyops, although, as Elvis has pointed out, it fails in the face of liquid "tactics."

Emails attached to PBEM files would be filled with the unedited ravings you heard, if only my fingers worked as fast as my brain. NOTE: That last bit is in NO WAY intended to imply that the speed of my brain has anything to do with cogent, coherent, useful functioning. It is merely a reflection of the relative response rates of digital motor function and neural networking, so don't go on about it as if I were claiming elsewise. swine.

Splatty, may your teeth grow long and your hair fall out. In other words may you have many more days like this. Oh, alright, Happy Birthday, dammit.

Peng

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Slapdragon:
Sorry Mace, but that time I visited down under but was able to avoid visiting any CM people by changing my name and flying in on an Iranian passport, I happened to get that cat of yours. It is now a trophy <hr></blockquote>

I remember when that cat died.

I sat up all night with it waiting for it to leave this plane of existance, hoping beyond hope that it would die painlessly and quickly - of course the bloody thing held out until about 5am and KEPT ME UP ALL BLOODY NIGHT!!!!.

The following day, I dug a hole in the backyard and held a funeral for it, for the benefit of my two children (and also because of the difficulty of flushing dead cats down the toilet).

So Slappy, if you want to dig up decomposed, mangy, maggot infested, matty cat carcases to decorate your house on your birthday, please don't let me stop you.

Btw, I'm sure I can keep an eye out for some dead Kangaroo on the side of the road for you for Christmas, I'll even try to find one where the internal organs are exposed and the skin turning a nice green color.

Anyway, Babby Hirthday

Mace

[Hakko Ichiu]

Somewhere along the line I'm sure I've said, or thought, or at least emoted that I would say somethink nice about Slappy once in a blue moon. As it so happens, tonight is a blue moon, so here I go:

Happy Birthday.

Wanker.

[Speedy]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:



Btw, I'm sure I can keep an eye out for some dead Kangaroo on the side of the road for you for Christmas, I'll even try to find one where the internal organs are exposed and the skin turning a nice green color.

Mace<hr></blockquote>


Mace I saw a great big one up near Ararat the other day, and it was only missing half a leg.

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Speedy:

Mace I saw a great big one up near Ararat the other day.
<hr></blockquote>

Was it shaved?

[Simon Fox]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu:
Happy Birthday.<hr></blockquote>Well I don't have the remotest inclination to respond similarily to slapdown's rather pitiable attempt to curry favour. You can rest assured that unlike him when the time comes I won't be trumpeting it about the place in a desperate last-ditch quest for acceptance. I note with interest that some of the more vacuous denizens of this place have responded with a distasteful bonhomie. I suggest they seek therapy to eliminate that last vestige of ugly conviviality from their characters. No doubt all are delighted to hear that Mace is 'rooting for' slapdown on his birthday.

The concept of slapdown with a bunch of tubes rammed into his nasal cavity has a certain piquancy to it. I would be delighted to oblige and have 3 metres of 30mm PVC reticulation pipe around here somewhere which would be perfect for the job. It kinda brings new and appropriate meaning to the traditional Aussie greeting "Here, get another tube into you".

[Stuka]

Oh Fimon Sox, how terribly, awfully grand of you to honour this place with your presence.

Now, if you can, construct a sentence from the following words.

Off.....Sod.....

No,no, thank you

[edited because it annoys certain individuals]

[ 10-31-2001: Message edited by: Stuka ]</p>

[dalem]

What am I doing working so late? Well it's the end of the month and that should be good enough for anyone forced to work with timetables dictated by telephone companies and demonic parasites. Actually, telcos are demonic parasites, so that was a needless redundancy. Why are telcos demonic and parasitic? Well, I don't know, but I'm sure it's in their mission statements somewhere.

hate hate hate hate hate.

and so on.

[Stixx]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Speedy:


Mace I saw a great big one up near Ararat the other day, and it was only missing half a leg.<hr></blockquote>

Cool...

Or there is a Bandicoot pressed in to the gaps between the road outside my place.

Any use to ya?

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stixx:
Cool...

Or there is a Bandicoot pressed in to the gaps between the road outside my place.

Any use to ya?<hr></blockquote>

All dead critters should be forwarded to Slappy, care of ????

Mace

[Slapdragon]

Send dead critters to me at:

The Peng Challenge Thread
Simon Fox Memorial Museum
and Planetarium
P O Box 3280
Columbia, SC 29201-3280

Kitty is currently designing uniforms for them, and they will be placed in displays around WW2 technology like the tripoded Bren Anti Battleship machinegun, and the Nuclear bomb proof Tiger tank. Some of them are being used to provide authentic smells, such as the Mace and Stuka wax display, and the Simon says interactive game of mistaken ideas.

Also, Knights of the Peng Challenge thread will be requested to sit for their own wax images in the near future, although Kitty informs me that she is having trouble with the combination of stale vomit and rug burns needed to do a suitable smally of Peng and is especially having problems with the Joe Shaw odor of Chanel #5 and pig sweat. Ideas for properly creating these are welcome.

[CMplayer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Slapdragon:
Send dead critters<hr></blockquote>

Can you send a file before work? I'm really anxious to see how much more you're getting chewed up.

[CMplayer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Slapdragon:
Ideas for properly creating these are welcome.<hr></blockquote>


Okay, here are some typical habitats you could place the wax figures in:


http://www.saunalahti.fi/~dthunder/graphics/asm99/004.jpg

And...(yep that's someone's naughty bits on the screen)

http://www.saunalahti.fi/~dthunder/graphics/asm99/018.jpg

[ 11-01-2001: Message edited by: CMplayer ]</p>

[tabpub]

I absolutely love what you've done with your place. Pls send me the address of your decorator.

[Lars]

In a effort to move on from those pathetic photos (I have far worse):

GAME UPDATES!!!

Agua Perdido – send a fecking turn.

MrSpkr – send a fecking turn.

CMplayer – send a fecking turn.

Buzzsaw – send a fecking turn.

jshandorf – send a fecking setup.

And to anyone I may have forgotten, send a fecking turn.

[ 11-01-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]</p>

[jdmorse]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Agua Perdido:
Anyhow, I took so long setting up that I forget my plan and thought I was attacking. I knew that excellent starting position was too good to be true.<hr></blockquote>

Ahh that explains why those guys were there... obviously stumbling around in the woods on a gamey edge hugging snipe hunt.

Now that Seanachai's visage hath been shorn of the mysterium in which he inhabits, I find it increasingly morphing in my minds eye to Yoda's.

SlapDappy (although more Sanjuro, than Yojimbo), Birthday be(a)sts to you...... just to annoy Simon

[ 11-01-2001: Message edited by: jdmorse ]</p>

[Herr Oberst]

Harumph.

Seems that I must have missed some insignificant post in the last incarnation of the thread. I realize that statement covers just about all the drivel that is spouted onto this electronic blackboard, but this one evidently merits some tender response or somefink like that...

Very well, although I'm sure I will get hives from doing something so touchy-feely (BAUHAUS, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!).

Slap "Yo, Bimbo!" Dragon, happy birthday.

And if you persist in having things up your nose, I will have to search out an old Cheech & Chong skit and post it here with you in place of the child.

[Joe Shaw]

Four from the bottom ... the Peng Challenge Thread four from the bottom ... the EVIL of it. So ...

... in other news today Sir Joe Shaw released this statement:

Mace persuaded me to play this rotten scenario done up by our own Goanna ... I should have known better. In the first place I should have known better because it was against Mace, I mean, come on. But I REALLY should have known better because it was done by Goanna who knows zerozipnada about scenario design and is an idiot to boot.

It started REALLY slowly and got slower. LOTS of snow, I hate snow and I really hate stupid scenarios in lots of snow. Mace started things off properly by capturing a squad of mine and using it to lead an attack of his, the swine. There were other attacks but they all kinda blurred together except for the part where my PIAT team killed his Stug ... that was pretty cool.

Now it's the end game and he's charging my major VL ... like he could take it in a million years, I mean ... he's Mace ...

Joe

[Stuka]

Wow!
Thanks for that Joe.
Crucial information indeed.
Info like that you should post in the APDS shatter failure range thread, you Grog bastiche.

The reason the MBT was 4 from the bottom was that no-one had anything to say.

And neither did you, apparantly.

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Now it's the end game and he's charging my major VL ... like he could take it in a million years, I mean ... he's Mace ... <hr></blockquote>

Victory is not important to me!

The only thing important to me is that I leave my opponent in a state of permanent mental anguish and confusion by game's end.

It's quite obvious I've achieved my goal by the current behaviour of my esteemed collegue Just-a-bus Joe Shaw

Mace

Mace

[Iskander]

Odd, but I don't hear the accolades due to me by Peng who knows DAMNED WELL that if he ever wants THAT THING to happen again, there'd TANJED WELL better be some KOWTOWING to CERTAIN people that send CERTAIN things to CERTAIN other people.

Ingrate.

[Cest bon]

Hello again scum,

My, my, my. I decide to take my daughter to the mountains,wait a while before coming back, and what do I find?

That you guys talk a lot. A hell of a lot. Sadly it is pretty much all about nothing.

Lets see.
Football
more football
obscure aussie habits
rooting
hairy wet beavers
and a vote for scratch and sniff.

Wow, where to begin?

football and more football:
This topic is ok, except for the fact that it was about college football's biggest two bandwagon teams. If your going to talk football at least take it to the pro level where people that don't live in your zip code know what in the hell your talking about.

Obscure aussie habits:
While cricket, roadkill, and dead cats may be the new "in thing" downunder. It really just reaffirms to the world what a bunch of shaggy, backwoods,paul hogan wannabee's you really are. Must be great for the tourist industry.

Rooting:
Less said about this one the better. Not that it isn't a fun subject, but "rooting"? Haven't heard that term in a long long time.

Hairy wet beavers:
While another interesting topic, I just don't see the draw of hairy wet beavers? Much better to shave your beavers, they glide through the water much better that way.

Scratch and sniff:
I don't understand why a guy would ask for something they are born with naturally. I thought scratching themselves and sniffing **** were born instincts in the male species.

Oh and next time you guys decide to start football, at least only mention the only team that matters.

Here we go Steelers, Here we go

Cest bon

edited because I still don't know how to use this ubb code right.

[ 11-01-2001: Message edited by: Cest bon ]</p>

[Hanns]

A figure strides off a beached landing craft and into the knee deep surf of the 'Cess. He wears a pair of dark sunglasses and a crackpipe jauntily dangles from his mouth

"I have returned!"

"Cut! We need to do another take, there's not enough dead Japs on this beach. Can we get some more?"

"Sir, those are dead Americans. It doesn't look right when you've got you foot on their chest like that."

"Whatever private. I think those waves splashed my pants in such a way making it look like I wet myself. Get me another pair of trousers, light starch, nice ironed creases with the crotch let out a bit so I can have some more breathing room...hehe!"

Fade to black........

Well, you get the idea. Got done working the Fetish-o-rama Marathon Ground Zero 8th Annual Halloween Ball. Open till 3am mind you (on a week night no less in this Lutheran Scando-Land) seemed pretty late. One drunk Columbian guy must not have learned any physics because he picked a fight with myself and three other bouncers. F=MA is a m*therf*cker when applied to a little git by someone my size. My compatriots said it was amusing to watch me grab him by his head, hip chuck'em and bounce his noggin' off the sidewalk when I pinned him. It's nice to know I've still got it..... where was I? Ah, yes the scantily clad females in their seemingly endless parade of naughty nurse and schoolgirl costumes. Feckin' A, what a wonderful place. One of my Favorite Lesbians (tm) brought her sister down with her and introduced me. Hmmm.... the mind wanders at sheer number of prospective recombinations capable with my current blonde bi-female paramour, 2 lesbians and one sister of said lesbian. Penthouse, eat your heart out sucka's.

Anyway, my PBEM game with TurkishBathBoy goes slowly. I haven't seen a reply from him in 2 days. I will endeavor to check my email tonight if I am sober enough and not otherwise "occupied". Obviously I've had better things to do, but I cannot fathom his excuse. Maybe he got locked in the steam room with a big, hairy Turk who took a liking to him. Feh, I care not as long as he shuts his inane yap and dies like a nice little boy. Maybe he could find himself a nice man-friend on the order of John Wayne Gacy or Jeffrey Dahmer. Maybe SlapHamster will volunteer. He's got look of a repressed serial killer to him. Ever get that Kübelwagen icecream truck up and running Slappy? I've read that most serial killers wanted to be cops. Does anyone who has played Slappy know if he is fond of lighting things on fire or ordering
POWs to walk back and forth across minefields? A pattern is emerging me thinks. To the rest of you gits, may you drown in a pool of your own vomitted up Halloween candy (Lord only knows how much vomit it takes to fill an entire pool though) and be subsequently infested with a plague of crotch crickets (the Australian variety with the little sticks and knickers).
Sirrah, Hanns

[ 11-01-2001: Message edited by: Hanns ]</p>

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Iskander:
Odd, but I don't hear the accolades due to me by Peng who knows DAMNED WELL that if he ever wants THAT THING to happen again, there'd TANJED WELL better be some KOWTOWING to CERTAIN people that send CERTAIN things to CERTAIN other people.

Ingrate.<hr></blockquote>That Thing ... Kowtowing ... Tanjed Well ... hmmm ... blackmail is such an ugly word don't you think? Of course Iskander is a pretty ugly guy ... what the hell is a Tanjed anyway ... or don't I want to know.

And Stuka, remember Gravity - It's not just a good idea, IT'S THE LAW! ... HAH! Guess I told him.

Joe

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
And Stuka, remember Gravity - It's not just a good idea, IT'S THE LAW! ... HAH! Guess I told him.
<hr></blockquote>

I don't get it.

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Cest bon:
Hello again scum,

That you guys talk a lot. A hell of a lot. Sadly it is pretty much all about nothing.<hr></blockquote>

Sigh. It's true, Sara, they often go on at great length without enriching the world in any way. Still, the alternative is the Outer Boards.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>
Wow, where to begin?

Obscure aussie habits:
While cricket, roadkill, and dead cats may be the new "in thing" downunder.

Cest bon

<hr></blockquote>

Ah, time for a jolly Aussie sing-song, I think!

Somebody's moggy, by the side of the road
somebody's pussy who forgot his highway code
someone's favourite feline, who ran clean out of luck
when he ran into the road and tried to argue with a truck

Yesterday he purred and played in his pussy paradise
decapitating tweety-birds and masticating mice
now he's just six pounds of raw mincemeat
that don't smell very niiiiiiice
he's nobody's moggy, nowwwwww.

Oh, you who love your pussies, be sure to keep them in
don't let them argue with a truck:
the truck is bound to win
and upon the busy road, don't let them play or frolic
if you do then I am warning you it could be cat-astrophic

If he tries to play on the road, I'm afraid that will be that
there will be one last despairing mioaw!
and a sort of squelchy splat
and your pussy will be slightly dead
and very, very flat
He's nobody's moggy
just red and squashed and soggy
he's nobody's moggy
nowwwwwww....hummmmm.*

*He's Nobody's Moggy Now
-Eric Bogle

[OGSF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:


-Eric Bogle<hr></blockquote>

When I was a young man I carried a pack
And I lived the free life of a rover.
From the Murray's green basin to the dusty Outback
I Waltzed my Matilda all over.
Then in 1915 the Country said "Son,
I'ts time to stop roving there's work to be done"
So they gave me a tin hat and they gave me a gun
And sent me away to the War.

And the band played Waltzing Matilda
As our ship pulled away from the quay
And through all the tears, flag waving and cheers,
We set sail for Gallipoli.

How well I remember that terrible day
How the blood stained the sand and the water.
And how in that hell that they called Suvla bay
We were butchered like lambs to the slaughter.
Johnny Turk he was waiting he'd primed himself well,
He rained us with bullets and showered us with shell,
And in ten minutes flat he blew us to hell,
Nearly blew us right back to Australia.

But the band played Waltzing Matilda,
As we stopped to bury the slain
We buried ours, and the Turk buried theirs,
Then we started all over again.

And those that were left well we tried to survive,
In that mad world of death blood and fire.
And for nearly ten weeks I kept myself alive
Though around me the corpses piled higher.
Then a big Turkish shell knocked me arse over head
And when I woke up in my hospital bed
I saw what it had done and I wished I was dead
Never knew there were worse things than dying.

For I'll go no more Waltzing Matilda
All around the wild bush far and free
For to hump tent and pegs a man needs both legs,
No more Waltzing Matilda for me.

And now every April my old comrades march,
Reviving old dreams and past glories.
And I wheel my wheelchair out onto the porch
And watch the parade pass before me.
The old men march slowly old bones stiff and sore
Tired old men from a forgotten war
And the young people ask "What are they marching for?"
And I ask myself the same question.

But the band plays Waltzing Matilda
And the old men respond to the call
But year after year more old men disappear
Someday no-one will march there at all...

- Eric Bogle
"The Band Played Walting Matilda"

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by OGSF:


When I was a young man I carried a pack
And I lived the free life of a rover.
From the Murray's green basin to the dusty Outback
I Waltzed my Matilda all over.
Then in 1915 the Country said "Son,
I'ts time to stop roving there's work to be done"
So they gave me a tin hat and they gave me a gun
And sent me away to the War.
- Eric Bogle
"The Band Played Walting Matilda"<hr></blockquote>

Here, lad, let's not gloss it over. You've omitted a stanza:

so they gathered the wounded, the crippled, the maimed
and they took us back home to Australia
the armless, the legless, the blind and insane
those proud wounded heroes of Suvla
and as our shipped docked into Circular quay
I looked at the place where me legs used to be
and thank Christ, there was nobody waiting for me
to grieve, and to mourn, and to pity

And the band played Waltzing Matilda
as they carried us down the gangway
but nobody cheered
they just stood and stared
then they turned all their faces away.

[OGSF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:


Here, lad, let's not gloss it over. You've omitted a stanza:
<hr></blockquote>

An' sae Ah daid. At widnae happen agin. An' noo fer tha "parody" tha Ah used tae play tae lighten tha recently sombered mood af'n tha original version...

Whan I was young man I learned me a song
And the damned thing keeps going forever.
And on top of all that it's depressing as hell
I don't even know why I bothered.
Each time that I play it the patrons just groan,
After the first verse they start to go home
By the time it is finished I'm here all alone,
And I bash my guitar on my forehead.

And the manager calls me a pillock,
And threatens to dock half my pay,
And I promise my Ma, on my sacred guitar,
That I'll never play that song again...

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:


I don't get it.<hr></blockquote> I'm not in the least surprised.

Joe

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by OGSF:


An' sae Ah daid. At widnae happen agin. An' noo fer tha "parody" tha Ah used tae play tae lighten tha recently sombered mood af'n tha original version...<hr></blockquote>

Splendid! Notice, of course, that I was the one with the light and cheery song (what could be more humourous than roadkill songs?), and you, lad, were the one trotting in here with the extremely poignant and lovely, but admittedly sad song, "And the Band Played Waltzing Matilda".

That one's one of the first Eric Bogle songs I ever learned to sing. That and "No Man's Land" (which has appeared on the Peng Challenge Thread previously; I believe I posted it the night that that little Nazi pillock 'Joachim Peiper' began posting his spate of venom and offense.)

Woot, Mun! You're showing your secret Aussie roots again, OGSF! Well, sort of, given that Bogle is actually Scottish, and emigrated to Australia as a young man.

[Mace]

I'm impressed Seanachai by your knowledge of some things Australian.

Getting to know your enemy, huh?

Mace

[Elvis]

Game updates for evryone who doesn't care:

Lawyer, I st the last turn plot file off to him last night so I don't want to say too much or he might catch on to my gamey flag rushplns.

Wildman asked everyone playing him o resendthe last turns to a different address so I sent the last file (dated 9/6/01) and still have herd nothing.

MrSpeachless is running at about the same speed as Wildman. Last file I got from him was Oct. 23. Peng returns files faster.

The bottom line here is that my effort to trim back othe number of PBEM games I have going doesn't seem tobe workingthey way I hoped. Not only do I need to keep the number but I also need the opponant to b of higher quaility (Lawyer is exempt for that snide remark). It's time for me to call up the old ones for game.

[Elvis]

Berli, I challenge you...you low down dirty scoundrel. You...you ..you....big sack of poo.

And Lawyer, regardless of how our battle ends, I would like to take his timeto chllenge you to an operation. You seem to be good for a file a day and sometimes more on weekends so it should take us about a year to play but I think it would be interesting. Can someone here recommend one please.

[MrPeng]

Icky, you old Sot, The techs at Peng Labs report that the wire samples are in.

Unfortunately I appear to be flirting with pneumonia again and confined myself to quarters when I got home from work. If we are not in very bad shape when we get home from work today we will go down to the lab and put the samples to the test.

We are deeply grateful for your generosity in sending the wire to our labs for testing, and wish you to note that I kept our mouths shut regarding the outcome of our last TCP/IP match just as you had threatend us to do. We certainly would not want to jeapordize the excellent steel and copper wire quality control relationship we have developed by improperly divulging game results - (not that winning and losing matter, of course), - so we would be foolish to let these scum here know the outcome of any match played under the Steel and Copper Wire Sample Quality Control Initiative, unless, of course, You WIN. Then we would be more than happy to trumpet your glorious victory to the heavans.


Peng

edited for hateful UBB errors

[ 11-02-2001: Message edited by: MrPeng ]</p>

[jshandorf]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lars:


jshandorf – send a fecking setup.

<hr></blockquote>

Damn, I was hoping you'd forget.

Awwwright, I have plans tonight but after I get home I will send you out a something? Did you want a scenario or a QB?

I will also send setups to Seanchai, Peng (Time for a ME), and finally Hans. Thankfully he can't throttle me with those pythons of his after I wipe the floor with his uberself.

Jeff

[ 11-02-2001: Message edited by: jshandorf ]</p>

[Hakko Ichiu]

Once again, Übercommonwealth zealots have published a charade of a tissue of a farago of lies asserting that Oztralians have a monopoly on songs about roadkill. In the words of one patriotic American, "this will not stand." (sit down, Bauhaus!). My evidence:

Dead Skunk
by Loudon Wainwright III

Crossing the highway late last night
He shoulda looked left and he shoulda looked right
He didn't see the station wagon car
The skunk got squashed and there you are

You got your dead skunk in the middle of the road
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
(And it's) Stinking to high heaven

Take a whiff on me. That ain't no rose
Roll up your window and hold your nose
You don't have to look and you don't have to see
'Cause you can feel it in your olfactory.

You got your dead skunk in the middle of the road
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
(And it's) Stinking to high heaven

Yeah, you got your dead cat and you got your dead dog
On a moonlit night you got your dead toad frog
You got your dead rabbit and your dead raccoon
The blood and the guts, they gonna make you swoon

You got your dead skunk
In the middle
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
Stinking to high heaven

C'mon, stink

You got it. It's dead. It's in the middle.
Dead skunk in the middle
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
Stinking to high heaven

All over the road
Technicolor

Oh, you got pollution.
It's dead.
It's in the middle,
And it's stinkin' to high heaven.


Damn I'm proud to be an Amurican. And I edit my posts to piss off the descendants of barbarian tribes.

[ 11-02-2001: Message edited by: Hakko Ichiu ]</p>

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Damn I'm proud to be an Amurican.<hr></blockquote> You betcha bubba! Brings to mind that night my drunk college roommate saw a skunk on the way home and decided that that there skunk needed to die. So he hopped out of the car ... and STOMPED that sucker to death ... then he came back to our dinky, tiny, closed in dorm room and passed out.

Joe

[jshandorf]

You know... it really amazes me that some of you guys have the time to think up and post songs. Obviously you don't have the skill or talent for it but you sure do have alot of time.

Jeff

[MrSpkr]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lars:
MrSpkr - send a fecking turn.
<hr></blockquote>

I got your email Tuesday. I am giving it all the due attention it deserves.

[Lars]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by jshandorf:

Awwwright, I have plans tonight but after I get home I will send you out a something? Did you want a scenario or a QB?
<hr></blockquote>

A scenario. It's probably to much to ask, but try to make it balanced.

And make it noisy, to drown out all this damn singing.

[Lawyer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:
And Lawyer, regardless of how our battle ends, I would like to take his timeto chllenge you to an operation. You seem to be good for a file a day and sometimes more on weekends so it should take us about a year to play but I think it would be interesting. Can someone here recommend one please.<hr></blockquote>

Elvis, you taunt worse than you play, and that's pretty bad sometimes. Okay, you luck out sometimes too, but we both know it's only natural for me to win.

Now, I hate to be considered a "good" opponent simply because I return PBEM files promptly. I think you need to come here and tell these gits what a damned good CM player I am. That's what I made the Washington area guys do before I would buy 'em a beer. It worked then, and it should work now.

I have a campaign involving the 29th Division called "29 Let's Go" that I've been wanting to play for a while. It's a Franko campaign, so it could be huge, but I'd like to suggest it unless one of the putrid souls here objects. My father and uncles served in the 29th Division from Virginia.

Remember "Augen Zu" which you won? Franko does great maps and history, but my concern is play balance. I know that I would have won if the play balance was correct.

[Elvis]

I wish I had read your post sooner. I just sent a set up for a campaign called Vernon. You my feel free to ignore what I sent and send yours. As a matter of fact if you are floating around we can start it via TCP/IP till 9:30 when my online date with Peng starts.

[Elvis]

As I suspected Lawyer has bested me. If I am not mistaken he is now the only one with a winning record against me.

Lawyer - WINNER
Elvis - loser

[Lawyer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lawyer:


Elvis, I think you need to come here and tell these gits what a damned good CM player I am. <hr></blockquote>

Well, yes I am.

Gentle Jackals, we have all been saddened this past month, so let me pass on some Good News to you!

I have just achieved a 62-32 victory over Elvis while being on the defense as the Germans in a Westwall QB! That is a tactical victory in my favor for those of you who don't count well. (That includes Leeo and MrSkr)

For Lawyer

I set up a completely static Westwall defense of pillboxes, MG teams, mine fields, and a little arty. I think I worked with 2000 pts.

Remember that I chose my forces before seeing the terrain I must defend. For my genius, I'm sure that Rommel would love me, though I would avoid the inevitable kisses. After my initial Westwall setup, I let the AI choose the targets, with a little help from the Legal Genius. It worked out well overall.

For Elvis

He knew it was a Westwall defense, and chose his forces accordingly. Typical was the heavy concentration of MG teams favored by Elvis, but also paratroops for some odd reason. His armor stood no chance, but he chose it anyway. He had lots of arty, but it did him little good in the end.

Elvis likes to MG and Mortar you, but the weakness of his tactics has become apparent to me. After three games, he won the first (close win due to AI favors for Elvis), and I won the last two (by ever increasing margins).

So here we are. I'm sure that Elvis is grateful that Lorak is packing heat somewhere in defense of our Nation. No counting of wins for us.

But in his tiny evil heart, Elvis knows that Lawyer has him for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Hehehe.....

[ 11-02-2001: Message edited by: Lawyer ]</p>

[Elvis]

I am not going to cry here about the Lawyers gamey set up. I purchased an entire battalion and he tore me to pieces. The terrain did favor his purchases but that in no way diminishes his perfect and well thought out set up. As he stated "I let the AI choose the targets". He bought right and set up right so that his tactical ineptitude could be well hidden. He had no need for tactics...all he needed to do each turn was click "Go". Well done my friend.

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:
Elvis - loser<hr></blockquote>

Stating the bleedin' obvious aren't you, mate? ;)

Mace

{smiley added to infuriate Peng pods}

[Moriarty]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:
As I suspected Lawyer has bested me. If I am not mistaken he is now the only one with a winning record against me.

Lawyer - WINNER
Elvis - loser<hr></blockquote>

Yer still a loser in my book, boy-o

[OGSF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Moriarty:


Yer still a loser in my book, boy-o<hr></blockquote>

*Ahem*

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABC DJimmy

[Joe Shaw]

Cest Bon, dear lady, (bolded because NOTHING'S TOO GOOD FOR OUR LORAK) I feel that we've missed some very vital information regarding the service to our country that Lorak is engaged upon and this post is intended to rectify that omission.

You see ... how to put this ... we've seen the tactical prowess of Lorak first hand and well, not to put too fine a point on it, can we be assured that he is not in a tactical or leadership role? I know I'd sleep better at night knowing that.

Joe

[Moriarty]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by OGSF:


*Ahem*

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABC DJimmy<hr></blockquote>

You swallow the Spaniel or do you have something you'd like to share with the class?

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Moriarty:
You swallow the Spaniel or do you have something you'd like to share with the class?<hr></blockquote>

I betcha he's got food, and he's not going to share!!!!!

Mace

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Cest Bon, dear lady, (bolded because NOTHING'S TOO GOOD FOR OUR LORAK) I feel that we've missed some very vital information regarding the service to our country that Lorak is engaged upon and this post is intended to rectify that omission.

You see ... how to put this ... we've seen the tactical prowess of Lorak first hand and well, not to put too fine a point on it, can we be assured that he is not in a tactical or leadership role? I know I'd sleep better at night knowing that.

Joe<hr></blockquote>

Shaw, you gibbering idjit, did you not see my own spectacular speculation (or is it speculation...) that the Lorak has been sequestered by the governments of the West in order to protect the formula for Guinness against extremist perfidy?

Of course, given his ability with languages, the speculation has been that for some reason known only to the gods, Lorak knows Farsi.

Personally, I think that he's been called up because the government fellas have realized we need a sharp, well-spoken, and friendly lad who's willing to have a pint with strangers, and try to reason with them as to the errors of their ways, and is willing to have a sing-song with them so that all those messy issues of anger and hatred recede into the background, and working men from vastly different backgrounds, religions, and underdtandings can have a bit of a get together, and realize that we all have too much too lose to risk it on having too much to gain.

Either that, or he's rated as a sniper, and he's needed to decap undiplomatic peoples at 500 meters.

Personally, I'm holding out hope for a jolly international sing-song.

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Cest Bon, dear lady, (bolded because NOTHING'S TOO GOOD FOR OUR LORAK
Joe<hr></blockquote>

SHAW, GODDAMN YOUR EYES! HERE IN THE PENG CHALLENGE THREAD WE WILL ALWAYS, ALWAYS, BOLD THE NAME OF A LADY! YOU PILLOCK!

Ahem. While we here in the Peng Challenge Thread are serious proponents of the equality between the sexes, we also acknowledge that many of our constituents are barely repentant knuckle-draggers, and we maintain our own tradition of chivalry. Knights of the Cesspool are still knights, and it is to be noted that the Peng Challenge Thread has had a higher consistent posting by women than the Outer Boards, despite how awful it is in here.

On the other hand, we like to think that we know how to treat a Lady.

Pissants post to give the manly bits a buff, and pretend they have significance. Grogs post to prove that they've read first hand accounts of 'women in action', and have tables of data regarding 'women in wargames' and 'women as data providers'.

But here in the Peng Challenge Thread, we know that 'women are people'.

Mind, we don't treat people all that bloody well, so women have to take potluck with the rest of the idjits; but fortunately we have the Knighthood of the Cesspool to grant our approach a little class.

Goddamnit, Bauhus, I said 'grant our approach a little class!

[ 11-03-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]</p>

[CMplayer]

Lars: Send a feckin turn.

Panzer Leader: I claim victory, because he stopped sending turns, won't respond to prods, AND is losing big-time anyway.

Slapdragon: Turning into an interesting battle. Maybe he can play after all.

The rest of you, go camp out on the Golden Gate bridge or some such place.

[Elvis]

And efore I forget......I I am not mistaken today is PeterNZers birthday.

Happy Birthday Dude

I heard he might not be able to make it to Philly because upon arriving in San Fran. he was heard to comment "I have found my people....I love it here" and things of that sort. Well, cheers to you mate. Have a great day. And don't forget to return the damn tapes.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>SHAW, GODDAMN YOUR EYES! HERE IN THE PENG CHALLENGE THREAD WE WILL ALWAYS, ALWAYS, BOLD THE NAME OF A LADY! YOU PILLOCK!<hr></blockquote>Nonsense and fiddledepoop Seanachai, we in the CessPool are nothing if not politically correct ... which either means we're nothing or not politically correct. An SSN is an SSN as ADMITTED by Cest Bon in her first post. In fact I thought she handled it rather well. Now in the case of Cest Bon it's only right to bold HER name since she is the Lady of Lord Lorak and NOTHING'S TOO GOOD FOR OUR LORAK. I think you're just trying to pick a fight.

Joe

[OGSF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Moriarty:


You swallow the Spaniel or do you have something you'd like to share with the class?<hr></blockquote>

Wha's mah setoop, ye poot-sniffin' toucher o' wee animals privates? Ah wish tae crrrush ye haplaiss untertroopen banaith mah hob-nailed heel yet agin!

An' Mace, ye latex wearin' carpel tunnel sufferer...wi'd ye noo care tae bae properly slaughtered ain a wee gam - sae your choice fraim tha stankin' den o' fetid scenarios, aka, Der (bleedin') Kessel? Ye damp snot rag? Bastaarrrd?

An didnea mak mae haftae kick mah poor wee spaniel agin!

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABC DJimmy

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by OGSF:
An' Mace, ye latex wearin' carpel tunnel sufferer...wi'd ye noo care tae bae properly slaughtered ain a wee gam - sae your choice fraim tha stankin' den o' fetid scenarios, aka, Der (bleedin') Kessel? Ye damp snot rag? Bastaarrrd?<hr></blockquote>

SirWhatsamallcallitwhosybobsyfetidhaggis,

I'll gladly extract a scenario from DerKessel.

We shall play it and you shall slaughter me as you manoeuvre brilliantly and focus your attacks with finesse, while I do everything but, or my name's not Lorak!

Expect a file over the next 16 hours or so (don't wait up though).

Mace

[OGSF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:


SirWhatsamallcallitwhosybobsyfetidhaggis,

We shall play it and you shall slaughter me as you manoeuvre brilliantly and focus your attacks with finesse, while I do everything but...

Mace<hr></blockquote>

Ye're a canny bastaarrd. Wha's tha then? A Jedi maind traeck?? At'll nae worrk ye sly weasel....Ah fully aintend tae plah wi' Hiramesque abandon.

Manhoover mah eye!

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABC DJimmy

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Ye're a canny bastaarrd. Wha's tha then? A Jedi maind traeck?? At'll nae worrk ye sly weasel. <hr></blockquote> By George he's got you there Mace, using a Jedi Mind Trick on OGSF is like using AP against a tent ... an open tent ... with all the sides rolled up ... an EMPTY, open ... sorry, got carried away.

Joe

{edited for the sheer joy of it}

[ 11-03-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]</p>

[Mace]

***************Correction***************

He who will not be named has now agreed to build a game for us. He who will not be named is Canadian (but we won't hold that against him) but resides in Germany (ditto). He who will not be named indicated that we should expect it within 48 hours!!!

************************************************

Mace

[ 11-03-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]</p>

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by OGSF:
A Jedi maind traeck?? <hr></blockquote>

What's this, discrimination against religion?

Yes, in the Australian census just completed this year, I entered Jedi as my religion of choice.

The farce is strong within me, you have been warned!

Mace

[OGSF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:
***************Correction***************

He who will not be named has now agreed to build a game for us. He who will not be named is Canadian (but we won't hold that against him) but resides in Germany (ditto). He who will not be named indicated that we should expect it within 48 hours!!!

************************************************

Mace

[ 11-03-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]<hr></blockquote>


Och, Ah'm doomed, DOOMED Ah sae! Ah'm kickin' hais butt ain our stankin' CityFight an' nae doubt thaerre'll bae skullduggery afoot ain tha new map!

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABC DJimmy

PS (Guest appearance by Paddy O'Grady) "Turd! Turd from da bottom at was! Turd!! Like da was noo page two! Turd! Faith an' begorrah! (etc)

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:
As I suspected Lawyer has bested me. If I am not mistaken he is now the only one with a winning record against me.
<hr></blockquote>

Woah there 'lil doggie, back on up theres a spell.
I do firmly recall spanking your spotty little arse until it bled a whiles back.
Do you recall that game in the snow?

You know, the one that I WON?

The game where you artied half your own force before the rest were washed up on the rocky shore of an Uber-Stuken defense where they were slaughtered like the effeminate girly-Elvis' they were?

Aye, I'm sure you do remember.

Yere yest tae sceered tae ardmut aht!

Ponce!

[Mace]

Hmm, Stuka, now that you mention it, I trashed Elvis in the only game I played against him as well.

So that's another winning record against him.

Do you think his memory is slipping with old age, or is just his adversion to numbering things?

Mace

[Stuka]

hehe, probably both, the forgetful, incontenant old foo'.

BTW, whatever happened to the Seanoochian conquest of Australia?
Did he ever actually beat anyone?
Or, ala the 'Operation Sealion' thread, was his proposed invasion of Australia just a ruse to divert attention from some other, even more despicable plan?

WOOT!

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:
BTW, whatever happened to the Seanoochian conquest of Australia?

Or, ala the 'Operation Sealion' thread, was his proposed invasion of Australia just a ruse to divert attention from some other, even more despicable plan?<hr></blockquote>

Actually his invasion has commenced - I've noticed him standing in amongst the plants in my front garden for some time now. His little red nose shining in the dark, his green jacket buttoned neatly but clashing somewhat with the red pants he wears...and that pointy hat he wears looks damned silly on him.

Oh wait, that's the garden gnome!

Mace

[Elvis]

You are of course both correct.

If either, or both, of you would care to send me a set up file I'm sure i can remedy this situation.

[Slapdragon]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:
hehe, probably both, the forgetful, incontenant old foo'.

BTW, whatever happened to the Seanoochian conquest of Australia?
Did he ever actually beat anyone?
Or, ala the 'Operation Sealion' thread, was his proposed invasion of Australia just a ruse to divert attention from some other, even more despicable plan?

WOOT!<hr></blockquote>

This Yojimbo Ronin Knight thinks that Sean is saving his pennies for a visit to beautiful South Carolina to view various collections of civil war memorabialia in a state that never really quit fighting that conflict. I am already making plans to put him up on the floor of my double wide and take him hunting turkey and anything else that should step in front of my 16 gauge, or perhaps my AR15A4. It will be great fun, and well worth the bus ticket. Much better than stinky old Australia.

[Buzzsaw]

Lars, you ninny, I am again waiting for a turn from you. Your ploy of waiting two weeks and then asking me to send it again will not work this time. Crodaburg will be mine!

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>This Yojimbo Ronin Knight thinks that Sean is saving his pennies for a visit to beautiful South Carolina to view various collections of civil war memorabialia in a state that never really quit fighting that conflict.<hr></blockquote> WHERE IS BERLI! Damnit, this is what comes of putting inexperienced Knights in charge of Squires. They go swanning off into the blue in a tiff over football and their SQUIRES JUST RUN WILD! As Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread I have to take a hand in this grevious neglect lest Slapdragon end up spoiled rotten ... SO ...

YOU AIN'T NO FECKING KNIGHT Get OVER it ... Berli if you're reading this, the BOOT man, the BOOT!

Joe

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:
If either, or both, of you would care to send me a set up file I'm sure i can remedy this situation.<hr></blockquote>

You are now added to my 'pending game' list.

At the time when one of my current games are completed and a slot (s..l..o..t, not s..l..u..t! Sit down Bauhaus) presents itself, you will move up to my 'prepare a setup for him' list. I think this should be within the week.

You are also on my 'number every turn because he really, really, REALLY hates it' list

Mace

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:
If either, or both, of you would care to send me a set up file I'm sure i can remedy this situation.<hr></blockquote>

Thirsty for some more Whoop-ass hmmm?

A while back Germyboy was raving on about a great scenario of his with paratroopers or sumfink. Does anyone recall the name?

I think DaleM or Slappy might have been playing it but as I am nearly half as old as Lawyer, my memory is failing.

[Lawyer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:


Thirsty for some more Whoop-ass hmmm?

A while back Germyboy was raving on about a great scenario of his with paratroopers or sumfink. Does anyone recall the name?

I think DaleM or Slappy might have been playing it but as I am nearly half as old as Lawyer, my memory is failing.<hr></blockquote>

Half as old, but twice as annoying. Whenever I really want to annoy the assembled gits here, I always think, "What would Stuka do?" I'll be doing that with a flurry of bragging when my super dooper new computer arrives.

Now as to the question sticking to Stuka's hand like "loves labor's lost", I believe the scenario he describes is named "To the Last Man" by the cruel and very sadistic Germanboy. It is available at Der Kessel.

I have played this particular scenario "game" mostly to the end with David Aitken, but he has turned very weird lately, and apparently has disappeared completely. Some of you may remember his love/hate with CM and the MBT when he said he was leaving for good. Then, of course, being a Brit and all, he started the MBT as soon as he said he was a goner a few threads back.

Well, the young snip (21 and going to college) has not shown himself since October 15, and the school master in England is inquiring about him. Meanwhile, our ordeal is stuck in limbo.

But let me say that it is a VERY painful scenario, with little to offer and much frustration and wonderment why people would voluntarily submit to it. Well, I did it at the private recommendation of the very Stuka who struts before us once again, and is now shown to be a purveyor of pain. I think he belongs with Hanns at the S/M club in Minneapolis that Seanachai and his Gang of Old Ones frequent.

As to Germanboy, I just think he is Hitler's evil offspring getting revenge upon the rest of us in the name of Teutonic "accuracy".

Play "To the Last Man" at your own risk, and expect to be raving mad when it ever finishes. Not that I expect to finish anytime soon with the departed David A., but it remains in my game files. Who knows... Croda came back....

[ 11-04-2001: Message edited by: Lawyer ]</p>

[Elvis]

Stuka...I am downloading that scenario as we speak.

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:
As I suspected Lawyer has bested me. If I am not mistaken he is now the only one with a winning record against me.<hr></blockquote>

I would like to <big>REFUTE</big> said claim, as I have bested you 2 out of the three times we met, ya Wanker! The first time we met, you wrested a victory from me. The second time, you auto-surrendered. The last time, in that Wild Bill meeting engagement in the city, I kicked the crap out of you also.

Jeesh, you quit checking in on the MBT for a day or two, and folks start getting delusins of grandeur

Not to mention that the sap known as Lawyer will be counting his lucky stars if he manages to default to a draw against me. The poofta.

[Joe Shaw]

DID SEANACHAI DIE FOR NOTHING? Okay technically he didn't actually DIE but we had a trial didn't we? And punishment was meted out wasn't it? But apparently SOME here are incapable of learning the lessons passed on. But fear not lads and lasses the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread is ON THE CASE and EVER VIGILANT! We even, strictly in our enforcement role you understand, roam the outerboard at times. Imagine our surpise to find the following: <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Hey Auswarrior, all the cool Aussies, (with the exception of Mace) hang out in the Peng thread. Don your thickest skin and come for a splash in the 'pool. We'll see what stuff your'e made of there.....<hr></blockquote> YES ... we find a KNIGHT of the CESSPOOL actually recruiting an SSN. And not just any old SSN but the rankest of newbies, one that has yet to receive the game! And don't get me started on that name of his, it just cries out for alteration doesn't it?

And who is the malfactor in our midst, the asp in our bosom (OH FOR GAWD'S SAKE Bauhaus) the Balrog in our woodpile? Non other than ... Stuka! That's right Stuka ... j'accuse!

MrSpkr you might want to dust off the articles and specifications submitted to the JURY and the questions typed by the STENOGRAPHERS in the case of the CessPool vs. Seanachai ... unless Stuka confesses and throws himself on the mercy of the CessPool I fear that ... WE GO TO TRIAL!

And furthermore ... Cool Aussies? ... give me a break.

Joe

[ 11-04-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]</p>

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lawyer:
when my super dooper new computer arrives.<hr></blockquote>

Perhaps said new computer will also provide you with a new, worthwhile personality(and I'm as confident of that as I am that pigs will break the sound barrier), Hmmm?

[Lawyer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Leeo:


Not to mention that the sap known as Lawyer will be counting his lucky stars if he manages to default to a draw against me. T<hr></blockquote>

Leeo is such a loser. No, make that Leeo is a LOSER. His biggest hope in the world is to get a DRAW against the Lawyer. What a pillock!

Play to WIN, ya git. And don't whine when ya don't.

Jeez, a Lawyer's work is never done...

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
unless Stuka confesses and throws himself on the mercy of the CessPool I fear that ... WE GO TO TRIAL!
<hr></blockquote>

I confess alright.
I confess to the strengthening of the bloodline of the 'pool with more Uber-Aussie goodness.

I mean, just take a look around here will you?

Gone are the days of fine, noble tradition and distinct class barriers.
Take a look at the dross that is parking their tootsies under the dinner table these days.
Shonin-jumbo self proclaimed squires...... *shudder* Football fans.....and namby-pamby Cesspool dinner parties are de riguer lately.

When was the last time Berli and Seanachai got to pin a newbies arms behind his back while OGSF and Elvis took turns at putting the 'boot' in? All the while Peng is ratting through their belongings for valuables?

You can't tell me can you?
This place is in distinct danger of 'going soft' and I for one will do something about it.

Lets look at this Auswarrior character shall we?
(XI) An Aussie for sure, so the potential for an upstanding, low-down, gamey although curiosly ruggedly handsome comrade is there.
(b-(9)) A self confessed 'Army Officer'. Yehahh!!, not only a grog, but a 'professional' grog. Hoo-boy! the potential for newbie cruelty beggars description.

So there you have it. On the one hand we have a promising comrade of good lineage and on the other, a prime target for an unfeeling, brutal gang-beating.

Sir Just-A-Skateboard, your charges are unfounded and I call upon you to take this matter no further.
I am guilty of serving the betterment of the MTB and no more.

If you are seeking someone to pick on, I have this freshly shaved chinchilla here and I think he likes you. [No Bauhaus!, this ones Joes, we'll rustle something up for you later. Now SIT DOWN!]

[Speedy]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:


...snip...I am guilty...snip... <hr></blockquote>

From the horses' mouth.

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lawyer:

Leeo ... His biggest hope in the world is to get a DRAW against the Lawyer<hr></blockquote>

Pardon, but I was under the mistaken assumption that someone with a name like Lawyer would be able to read words in a sequential manner, thereby drawing meaning from them. Go back and read my post again, ya git. Go on, we'll wait. Don't be ashamed that your lips must move as you read it. (Hmm,Hmmmm,Hmm) Ok? Notice, I said that YOU'D be lucky if you were able to squeak out a draw. Which implies that you can only be a non-loser through sheer luck.

Uppity lawyers.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Speedy:


From the horses' mouth.<hr></blockquote> Well Speedy it was certainly from ONE end of the horse. The Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread IS awfully busy right now so we'll leave it up to the members of the CessPool. Shall we have a full formal trial (TRIAL = JURORS = STENOGRAPHERS) or shall we simply sentence Stuka to playtest the latest Ker Dessel* scenario, But It's a Dry Heat? I leave it to the Knights of the CessPool (KNIGHTS Slapdragon ... of which you Ain't one).

*Ker Dessel - When you want to play CM in the worst way

Joe

[Lars]

GAMEY GAME UPDATE:

Chinese Chickens – 6, little imported foreign basturds.
Lars – A long effing stomp through the cattails.

On the plus side, I did get to tick off a few deer hunters. And a rabbit, I unquestionably ruined a rabbit’s day. Looks like the niece’s will be having Hausenpfeffer for Easter, hehe.

Turns will go out this evening after the medicinal Bourbon takes effect on my poor aching knees. Expect my usual tactical brilliance. Or not.

Hey, at least I’ll be having a good time.

[Agua Perdido]

It's Monday. My computer is still broke, but not as broke as it used to be. To compensate, I spent an hour this morning fixing my @#$@&! "windows registry file" on my work computer, which had somehow mysteriously bollixed itself up over the weekend. I hate Windows. But not as much as I hate all of you.

UPDATES!

Updates? Are you insane? I spent two hours last night terminating my SCSI chain (with extreme prejudice) and you think I have time to play CM?!

Well, I did send a turn to Terence, but only because he's an almost-non-'Pooler, so I hate him slightly less than I hate all of you. We're still playing Panzer Leader's Guns of Crodaburg (or whatever it's called), and he's started dropping smoke on his own lines. I'd be less unimpressed if it weren't an area that was out of my LOS anyway... I'm just waiting for him to walk the smoke barrage forward to follow his advance and forget to kit 'k'...

Okay, I also sent a turn to Seanachai, because I felt sorry for him after seeing the pictures Berli put up. And because he's been subject to a week's worth of Disneyfication, so I figured he could use some of the old ultra-violence. This game looks like it might actually be an interesting replay of our last game (except totally different), so I'm sure something will go horribly wrong right off.

Then I sent turn one to Lars of a game whose setup I thought would be funny, but which has turned out to be anything but. I expect the wailing and gnashing of teeth to begin shortly.

Okay, and I finally returned stevetherat's move because I want to see more human wave assaults. That's my gimmick, you copy-cat bastard!

No turns for jdmorse or Joe Shaw, the former for saddling me with Canadians, the latter for not saddling up some stenographers.

Agua Perdido

[Speedy]

Oooooohhhh, oooooohhh I vote for STENOGRAPHERS.

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Speedy:
Oooooohhhh, oooooohhh I vote for STENOGRAPHERS.<hr></blockquote>

I don't think any are running in this weekend's federal election.

{Posted just to remind my fellow countrymen that it's Melbourne Cup Day, and I get a holiday and they don't unless they live in Victoria)

Mace

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:

{Posted just to remind my fellow countrymen that it's Melbourne Cup Day, and I get a holiday and they don't unless they live in Victoria)
<hr></blockquote>


Bastiche!!!

I heard on triple JJJ this morning that there will be animal rights protesters at the Melbourne cup today because apparantly racehorses can suffer from stomach ulcers!
Bloody favouritism!
I don't see many protesters 'round my office these days.
Stink'in horses, they should shave the lot and parade them through the streets like fraternising frenchwomen.

[Slapdragon]

Stuka,

I feel your pain, but I have a solution, I just wish that there was some way to get it to you. I have a T-Shirt that says on its fron "Horse Lovers Unite" and on the back has three tasty horse recipes. Not very colorful, kind of subdued, but I thought it was so funny I bought one years back.

Perhaps you can have one made in Australia cheaper than I can send you one.

[Stuka]

I'd rather you didn't feel anything of mine, if its all the same to you.

[Slapdragon]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:
I'd rather you didn't feel anything of mine, if its all the same to you.<hr></blockquote>

I guess you have a computer with all of the attachments, mine does not have the proper equipment for that sort of thing, so I guess you will just have to leave it to Joe Shaw fpr that sort of thing.

[Speedy]

Although Lorak is wandering off somewhere pretending to be Sylvestor Stallone, I feel I would be letting OGSF down if I did not announce the result of our most recent game. After a hardfought street battle my gallant US engineers managed to annihilate the forces of evil.
Final score 71 to 29.

As a punishment OGSF gets to be the French in our next battle.


P.S.- Mace I am going to be drunk on Saturday, so I did actually go and vote for the Stenographers today. Buggered if I know what the vote counters are going to make of my voting papers. I actually did quite a nice little nude portrait of Natasha Stott Despojitttala in here voting box.

[ 11-06-2001: Message edited by: Speedy ]</p>

[Speedy]

.....SNIP.......

[ 11-06-2001: Message edited by: Speedy ]</p>

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Speedy:
P.S.- Mace I am going to be drunk on Saturday, so I did actually go and vote for the Stenographers today. Buggered if I know what the vote counters are going to make of my voting papers. I actually did quite a nice little nude portrait of Natasha Stott Despojitttala in here voting box.
<hr></blockquote>

I personally plan to show up drunk at the polling booth Saturday, it'll help ease the pain of actually deciding which of these nongs to vote for, given the 'presence', 'charisma' and decent 'policies' our current lot have!*

by the way, I'd love to see this naked picture of Natasha** you've rendered, I'm particularly keen to see just how you've depicted her voting box.

Mace

* A little note for our non-aussie peers, voting is compulsory in Australia.

** Natasha,
=======>

http://www.democrats.org.au/images/index/change_politics_02.gif

[Hanns]

JEBUS KRISPY!!!!!! What the Hell is that???!?!?! The illict lesbian love child of Margaret Thatcher and Princess Diana? If you Ozzies think she's hot no wonder you're so into sheep. At least sheep don't have that XXY chromosome smile! Not that I'd know anything about sheep mind you.
Hanns

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hanns:
Not that I'd know anything about sheep mind you. <hr></blockquote>


That's what they ALL say!!!!

Mace

[Hanns]

Boy, an insult about sheep coming from Mace is like the lütefisk calling the gefilte fish white! Amateur.........

[Edited to include this pic I found of Mace with his very own "Love Ewe". Enjoy!]

Mace and his Love Ewe (http://www.rotten.com) P.S. You'll have to look for it

[ 11-06-2001: Message edited by: Hanns ]</p>

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hanns:
[QB]Boy, an insult about sheep coming from Mace is like the lütefisk calling the gefilte fish white! Amateur.........

[Edited to include this pic I found of Mace with his very own "Love Ewe". Enjoy!

{link removed for obvious reasons}

[QB]<hr></blockquote>

Haha, very funny......not!!!!

I'd remove the link if I was you because, mate, obviously what you've linked to is something that I don't think BTS is going to like having associated with thier site.

Besides, we don't really want to see personal pictures of what you get up to in the privacy of your own home!!!

Mace

[Slapdragon]

Yes, I have to report a sad loss to CMplayer. While I am kicking some ass in other games, I just could not defeat the huge tactical brain that is this Swede, nore could I get over the loss of two tanks and 36 infantry to Neblewerfer attacks. Still, the loss is made bearable by the knowledge that I was defeated by his skill alone.

Slapdragon, Ronin-Yojimbo Knight of the Peng Cewsspool Challenge Thread, Chief pisser offer of Simon Fox, and Ulcer Causer of Joe Shaw.

[Stuka]

Mind you, Young Natasha there is the most attractive politician we have.

Its just a shame she's as thick as two Elvis' nailed together.

Although, to her credit, I hear she shaves up just lovely.

[MrPeng]

This just in:

It seems that someone in my company thought it would be a good idea to send me away again. I suppose it is to prevent me from doing additional harm, or it could be he thinks I might actually get something of value out of a trip to COMDEX. Yes, its True. The Pod is going to Las Vegas. I will be there from 11/12 through 11/16.

What does this mean to you, the average 'pooler? Not much, unless you have a hankering to go head to head with a loud, drunken, pneumoniacal Pod in a city where the boundaries between good and evil are as blurry as my vision after a fifth of whiskey.

I will be staying, appropriately enough, at Circus/Circus, although I suspect that Zoo/Zoo wuld be even better. I will have a laptop and hub for network play, and I will be VERY THIRSTY. Gambling holds no interest for me, I know the odds aren't even worth bothering. One could do as well by throwing wads of cash to the winds. No, I will come to look at the golly-gee! computer crap the big boys are shoving down our throats for next year, to drink and to play CM, if there are, in fact, any Vegas CMers there.

Other than that, Piss off the lot of you.

Peng

[Hakko Ichiu]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>As a wiseass man once said:
Still, they understand that for it to be truly breakfast, pigs must die.
<hr></blockquote>

With that thought in mind, I offer the following:

Polymethodical Preparations of Pig Parts From the Old North State. Support our hog waste lagoons. (http://www.britishbacon.com)

Of course, the true pilgrim will find his way to the cross-roads of I-95 and NC 74 in scenic Lumberton, NC.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Slapdragon, Ronin-Yojimbo Knight of the Peng Cewsspool Challenge Thread, Chief pisser offer of Simon Fox, and Ulcer Causer of Joe Shaw. <hr></blockquote> Hmmm, I see six issues here, let's take them in order:

Ronin: In order for one to be Ronin one must first be JAPANESE and then one must be masterless. While I know that most of us would be pleased were Berli to fall off the face of the earth, I fear that he's only on hiatus and therefore ... you are incorrect on both counts.

Yojimbo: Let's DO try to keep the CessPool on a higher plane shall we? This unfortunate reliance on colloquial phraseology is getting out of hand ... What Ho James! would serve as well and add that element of class that you so sorely lack.

Knight: Some Southern writer (you should know who) once said that a boy wasn't a man until his daddy told him he was. YOU ain't a fecking Knight until we tell you you are ... you should LIVE so long.

Cewsspool: If you MUST be careless with your typing at LEAST try to get the important stuff right!

Chief pisser offer of Simon Fox: Well THIS is all to the good ... carry on.

Ulcer Causer of Joe Shaw: Don't flatter yourself, I'm just doing my job ... since Berli won't, then I must. Think of it as policing[i] the CessPool ... and I've got my eye on YOU boyo.

Joe

[i]{edited for artistic reasons}

[ 11-06-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]</p>

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Slapdragon:
Slapdragon, Ronin-Yojimbo Knight of the Peng Cewsspool Challenge Thread, Chief pisser offer of Simon Fox, and Ulcer Causer of Joe Shaw.<hr></blockquote>

Didn't you forget to add "Wanker Extraordinaire" to your title?

Where's Berli and his boot when you need him?

Speaking of putting the boot in, Berli and I put the boot to each other, garnering a draw for our troubles in a mad, menschian, micro-battle. Lot's of 'splodey things, lot's of brave, poorly led Brits (those would be mine) to die, and sneaky, hidey, mountain hugging Germs (Berli).

Quite entertaining, all in all, as I'd not previously had the pleasure of leading Sir Edmund Hillary "over the top", so to speak, in order to smoke the evildoers out of their holes where I could kill them. I had a lot of machinegun carriers, but they do surprisingly poorly at negotiating cliffs. Not to worry, though, my lads stood bravely when subjected to indirect fire. Stupid Brits.

{edited to emphasize the supreme pinnacle of Über-Wankerhood attained by Slaphappypappy}

[ 11-06-2001: Message edited by: Leeo ]</p>

[imported_Wildman]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrPeng:
This just in:

I will be staying, appropriately enough, at Circus/Circus, although I suspect that Zoo/Zoo wuld be even better. I will have a laptop and hub for network play, and I will be VERY THIRSTY. Gambling holds no interest for me, I know the odds aren't even worth bothering. One could do as well by throwing wads of cash to the winds. No, I will come to look at the golly-gee! computer crap the big boys are shoving down our throats for next year, to drink and to play CM, if there are, in fact, any Vegas CMers there.

Other than that, Piss off the lot of you.

Peng<hr></blockquote>

I would suggest moving to another casino. Unless of course you enjoy vomit stained carpet and getting mugged on the way to your car in the garage. I would suggest MGM Grand, Mirage, Venitian, or Mandalay Bay.

[serious]When we go to Las Vegas for RED FLAG, we are briefed not to go to Circus Circus. The gangs in town are focusing on people in the gargage and areas just a block away from that casino. By the way, stay away from a bar called the beach. Four airman were hit with estasy in their drinks while they were there and they got rolled.[\serious]

Of course, I expect you will be visiting the
Olyimpic Gardens and Crazy Horse II in search of nubile naked woman to oggle. Don't forget to go to the top of the Stratosphere as you can most easily contact your mothership from there.

Just remember, hookers are illegal in Vegas itself so if your going to try and produce West Coast podlings, you must visit the Cherry Patch north of town.

[CMplayer]

Be it known:

Slapdragon has finally keeled over from the sheer inertia of his folly. At least he claims a loss, though there are 10 turns left in the game. It would be fun to play it out, just to see how much more of the scattered remnants of his attacking force can be quashed, but war is hell as they say. Sometimes the sunzabichz surrender before you can off 'em. We're looking at between major and total victory.

AAR: basically Slappy's Brits trotted around making targets of themselves for 20 turns but an attack worthy of the name never materialized. It was a turkey shoot. He blames it on: the terrain, bad luck, undermodelled Commonwealth troops, my gamey rickets, his hemorrhoids, but from what I've seen, the only difference between playing Slappy and playing the AI consists in the AI not making excuses.

Please JOIN ME IN A ROUSING CHORUS of better luck next time for our self styled samurai squire. And PLEASE DO NOT FORGET the stream of insulting boasts that flowed from Slappy's mouth upon commencement of the game. And PLEASE DO NOT DISTURB him as he eats them up, one by one. And finally PLEASE FORGIVE MY WANKERDOM in this admittedly nerdy and unpoolish post, but I expect this is the best way to MAKE SLAPPY TASTE HUMBLE PIE for perhaps the first time in his life.

tongue.gif

[Edited to add a smiley]

[ 11-06-2001: Message edited by: CMplayer ]</p>

[Lars]

Excellent suggestions, Wildman, I’d go for the MGM Grand for a place to stay.

Peng, play nothing but nickel slots, you still get to drink for free and I know you could put a real hurt on the casinos.

Oh, take the Big Shot ride (skip the rollercoaster – lame) on the top of the Stratosphere, you’ll definitely need a drink after that one.

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrPeng:
I will be staying, appropriately enough, at Circus/Circus.
<hr></blockquote>

Thats nice, I stayed there myself back in '82.
Can you see if they've found my spare undies yet?
They were grey, with an extra large frontal pouch.

[MrPeng]

Gentleworms:

Thanks for the suggestions regarding the accomodations. I'll run it by my Boss and see if we can get me some alternate digs.

I am too old to have gotten into the ecstasy thing, but psychadelics do not frighten me in the least. Lay 'em on me.

As I said, I will not be putting a dime into gambling. Nickle slots or fie dallah black jack. Its all the same a losing game. I'll not be blowing my nest egg on cheap thrills and a long shot. Nossir.

Now as far as dancing, oiled, nekkid wimmin go, count me in. THAT is something I will be happy to waste my hard {huh-huh} earned money on.

Peng

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:


Thats nice, I stayed there myself back in '82.
Can you see if they've found my spare undies yet?
They were grey, with an extra large frontal pouch.<hr></blockquote>Isn't that cute, they made Underoos in the shape of kangaroos back then? I bet they had a little baby 'roo doll in the pouch didn't they. Did it have a tail and footsies too?

Joe

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Did it have a tail and footsies too?
<hr></blockquote>

No, but it had your head.

Hey! Thats what happened, I didn't lose my undies, they were stolen!
Just think Joe, right now your head is stuffed into the frontal pouch of some Las Vegian drug dealing, gangster mugger's undies.

Probably not for the first time either I'd wager.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:


No, but it had your head.

Hey! Thats what happened, I didn't lose my undies, they were stolen!
Just think Joe, right now your head is stuffed into the frontal pouch of some Las Vegian drug dealing, gangster mugger's undies.

Probably not for the first time either I'd wager.<hr></blockquote>Oh ... I AM disappointed Stuka ... I'd hoped for a better response but obviously it's not to be. Too bad, after my brilliant post there was the possibility of a rollicking round of ripostes (who WAS that clown that did that ... opps, never mind, he might come back) but I suppose I should save my witter posts for someone who has the capability to take the ball and run with it (or for our Aussie friends take the ball, run with it for a while, then suddenly hit it with your other hand for no discernable reason and jump on a bunch of other guys while some clown in a white zoot suit makes "bang bang" motions with his hands.)

And quit whining about your silly AT gun, it's not MY fault you put it there.

And send a turn with your emails, it works better that way.

Joe

[ 11-06-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]</p>

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
And send a turn with your emails, it works better that way.
<hr></blockquote>

Schmuk! The turn was sent 5 minutes before the e-mail questioning your silly 'Murkin constitution.
Check your in-box again and this time put your glasses on.

Old people, Sheesh!

[Hanns]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka
Can you see if they've found my spare undies yet?
They were grey, with an extra large frontal pouch.<hr></blockquote>

That's just disgusting Stuka! You actually wear hollowed out koalas as underwear? Do you leave the little feet and claws on? What about glass eyes? Does it hurt when you sit on them? I suppose you could stash stuff in that little pouch they have. Do you store you shaved voles, gerbils and other rodentia there? This sounds something like a national phenomena to me. I guess it's just one of those things I'll have to shake my head at and ascribe to cultural diversity.
Hanns

[Stuka]

Yes Hanns, whatever you say. You are correct on all counts. You are the greatest...

Don't let the door hit you on the arse on the way out.

[Elvis]

Heads up guys...Panzer Leader is not as worthless as we thought. Check out his post to the Russian link...VERY cool pics.

And Stuka you bitch why are you posting and not sending back my file...You're almost as bad as MrSpeachless (who is infinitely worse than Peng).

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:


Schmuk! The turn was sent 5 minutes before the e-mail questioning your silly 'Murkin constitution.
Check your in-box again and this time put your glasses on.

Old people, Sheesh!<hr></blockquote>And I sent a response IMMEDIATELY, specifically turn 16 (for those of you who are keeping track ... as Stuka apparently ISN'T). Tell you what, why don't I send it AGAIN and maybe you can pay attention this time.

Sheesh, Aussies.

Joe

[Stuka]

Joe and Elvis, I sent you both turns roughly 10 hours ago.
Mind you I hooked up with a new ISP just before I sent the turns, maybe they are fecking things up.
Strange that text messages are going through but none with attachments.
I'll investigate.
Hang onto yourselves for awhile.

[Panzer Leader]

You thought I was worthless? But... if you are worthless, and think that I am worthless, wouldn't that somehow make me more worthy?

By the way, ah, ne'er mind, sod off, you know the drill.

[Lawyer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrPeng:
This just in:

It seems that someone in my company thought it would be a good idea to send me away again. I suppose it is to prevent me from doing additional harm, or it could be he thinks I might actually get something of value out of a trip to COMDEX. Yes, its True. The Pod is going to Las Vegas. I will be there from 11/12 through 11/16.

Peng<hr></blockquote>

Peng, go to Mandalay Bay (stay there if possible because it is by far the coolest place). Be sure to go to "Rumjungle" restaurant on the main floor. It has water washing down the windows, but mostly it has every kind of booze invented in a cool environment with lots of techno rock.

Rumjungle works very well if you are by yourself, and we all assume you will be by yourself, at least until your second drink. Sit at the bar.

Best of all, Rumjungle specializes in grilled meats of all kinds cooked over charcoal for you to see at the rear. Just think of all those tasty beasts and fishies that want to die so you can chomp on them. See them cooked to your tastes.

Choose the all-you-can-eat plate with continual offerings of every meat available, with lots of nice side dishes. You get more than you can handle. About $30 as I remember, and well worth it. I sat at the bar, and had lots of company, so don't worry about going by yourself. Oh, and have brunch or breakfast at Bellagio's main restaurant. Very nice.

Trust the Lawyer on this one...

[Elvis]

Also Peng you have to check out this killer place. It is just off the "new" strip betweem Paris and Ballys down the little alley. There is a red door...you need to knock twice then wait then knock three more times. When the little sliding window opens you will need to say "My dog has no nose" to which the gorilla should respond "how does he smell?" and you MUST respond "Awful" and you are on you way to the time of your life. Things that would make sheep seem "gamey".

[Elvis]

PS....Lawyerboy are you running away from my operation challenge?

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Sheesh, Aussies.<hr></blockquote>

Here, let me help you out as your were obviously stymied for words. (Unusual to say the least, next to Seanachai you're probably one of the more verbose here).

Anyhow, what you meant to say was..

'Sheesh, Aussies ... are perhaps the best example of homo sapien in the world. Their intelligence, wit, athletic prowess and good looks are the benchmark that the rest of the world's people aspire to.

I Joe Shaw, count myself lucky to be associated with them. I sure hope their greatness rubs off on me!!!'

Don't thank me for helping out here, it was the least I could do for a mate.

Mace

{edited to improve presentation..and to annoy Germanboy}

[ 11-06-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]</p>

[Lawyer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:
PS....Lawyerboy are you running away from my operation challenge?<hr></blockquote>

No way, Hosea! But I'm smart enough to do a little research before starting a 100 turn operation that will last till Lil' Elvis goes to college.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>'Sheesh, Aussies ... are perhaps the best example of homo sapien in the world. Their intelligence, wit, athletic prowess and good looks are the benchmark that the rest of the world's people aspire to.

I Joe Shaw, count myself lucky to be associated with them. I sure hope their greatness rubs off on me!!!'<hr></blockquote> Wow! Thanks Mace what a guy. I really appreciate it, here ... could I ... could I try it myself?

{ahem}

'Sheesh, Aussies ... are perhaps the closest example of Homo Sapiens Neanderthalensis in the world. Their lack of intelligence, wit, athletic prowess and good looks are the benchmark by which Neanderthals of the world are judged.

I Joe Shaw, count myself lucky to be far away from them. I sure hope that smell rubs off them eventually!!!'

Damn, not QUITE the same, but much closer to the mark I think. I'll work on it some more. Thanks again Mace ... you're a prince.

Joe

[Slapdragon]

Dang Shaw, you are cruel. I personally like Aussies, and think everyone should own one or two for their very own. They can mostly feed themselves if you are there to wipe the dribble off, they have a huge inferiority complex proven by the high point of their artistic expression (Paul Hogan), but they make wonderful house pets. In reality, Australian culture is quite advanced if you just ignore the noise from the East Coast and and concentrate on Tasmania, and on Farscape.

[OGSF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Slapdragon:
...Australian culture ...<hr></blockquote>

At's kulture, ye ignorant ladder ain a fat lassie's knee stockin'.

Flamin' galah...

Af'n Ah foond ye on fire, Ah'd nae bother tae wee on ye.

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABC DJimmy

[Elvis]

Research!!!!???!!!!!??!!!!!!!???!!!!!

I did about 5 seconds of research.

[Joe Shaw]

Quiz time! What was the name of the American Civil War battle that took place in the summer of 1864 near the battlefield known as Chancellorsville?

No ... no Bauhaus that wasn't the name ... no I'm quite sure, they wouldn't call a battle that ... no you're thinking of the name of the State, but it was VIRGINIA, the State ... not the battle. Yes, the boys might have fought harder in that case, good point.

It was called ... The Wilderness! And why does that relate to CM? Because my battle with Mensch is being fought in a bloody wilderness that's why. The VLs that matter are smack in the middle of an impenetrable forest, so what does the designer give me as the Germans? Tanks of course ... some lovely tanks that can't set tread inside the woods of course. No other tanks to fight so far. So they huff and they puff and they ... sit.

So the Poor Bloody Infantry has to wander into the woods blind, without arty support because THAT was all used up getting across the bloody open ground I had to cross to GET to the woods. And once in the woods they blunder blindly into dug in Americans and get killed a lot.

Oh I'd give Mensch some credit for tactics ... if any were available. As it is he just dug in around the VLs and ... waited. Poor lad has calluses forming from pressing GO I've no doubt.

Wild Bill has the right of it, a bad scenario and anything can happen ... hell Mensch could win this one.

Joe

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:


Here, let me help you out as your were obviously stymied for words. (Unusual to say the least, next to Seanachai you're probably one of the more verbose here).
]<hr></blockquote>

While we are both long winded, there is a very important difference in style. Shaw tends to post at medium length, but with almost pathological regularity.

I post somewhat more sporadically, but generally at such length that strong men are left weeping, exhausted and feeling unworthy before the beauty, depth, and complexity of my wordflow.

Of course, sometimes I post more succinct and straightforward posts, such as this one, and occassionaly Shaw extends himself and goes on at insane length. It's a bit of a mixed bag, but the generalization works.

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:


BTW, whatever happened to the Seanoochian conquest of Australia?
Did he ever actually beat anyone?
Or, ala the 'Operation Sealion' thread, was his proposed invasion of Australia just a ruse to divert attention from some other, even more despicable plan?

WOOT!<hr></blockquote>

The campaign to 'Crush All Australians' is taking longer than originally anticipated, and has met with occassional reverses.

So far, the only Australian who has been defeated is Mace, and it wasn't much of a 'crushing'. Stuka and the egregious Simon Fox have bollocksed up the entire 'being crushed' process by each winning a game against me. Rematches are in progress with both of them.

Goanna also showed no intelligent understanding of his role as an Austalian, and won our only game to date. He has since disappeared, reputedly into the wilds of Montana, and hasn't been available for a rematch. It's to be noted that he disappeared after visiting the Heraldites, and it's my opinion that Berli, Moriarity, and Bauhaus actually ate him in some bizarre 'Combat Mission cannibal cult' ritual.

I am in a game with Speedy, and anticipate crushing him, but it is too early to tell.

Finally, the secret Australian living among us, OGSF, has been defeated a couple of times, but has also defeated me a couple of times, so I think that one's a push.

I have not, however, lost heart, nor do I doubt in any way that eventually all Australians will have been well and thoroughly crushed. Any other outcome can only lead to the belief that the gods are dead. I do not intend to go gently into that good night, thank you very much, and will reaffirm the ultimate splendour of the universe by defeating all Australians.

And then I will mock them in a most satisfying and profound way.

[Stuka]

Awe Seanachai, your'e so cute when your'e angry.

[Agua Perdido]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Quiz time! What was the name of the American Civil War battle that took place in the summer of 1864 near the battlefield known as Chancellorsville?<hr></blockquote>

Ooh, ooh, I know! I know! "They mean to win Wimbledon!" I mean, uh, "The Wilderness." --er--, what is "The Wilderness!" Can I phone a friend? I'd like to buy a vowel.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>It was called ... The Wilderness!<hr></blockquote>

I win! I win! Thank you so much, Regis. This will increase my standing in the herd, allowing me a more favorable choice of mating partners (back off, Mace, I answered first).

My computer is nearly in a not-broke condition, so lovely parting gifts of Die-A-Lot to follow for most of my opponents. For some reason, my email program refuses to play well with the other children, but at least my CD-ROM recognizes the CM CD now. To celebrate, I may actually send jdmorse a turn tonight. However, no turns for Joe Shaw until we see some stenographers.

Agua Perdido

[Spook]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Quiz time! What was the name of the American Civil War battle that took place in the summer of 1864 near the battlefield known as Chancellorsville?

It was called ... The Wilderness!

Joe<hr></blockquote>

5-6 May 1864 was in the "summer" of 1864? Nope.

You may not like being lectured to by a SSIDGAF (scum-sucking I don't give a feck) coming in as a cameo rat, but in the future, don't mangle ACW history! Loser!! tongue.gif

[ 11-07-2001: Message edited by: Spook, because he fecked up and forgot to include a smiley for Peng.]

[ 11-07-2001: Message edited by: Spook ]</p>

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>5-6 May 1864 was in the "summer" of 1864? Nope.<hr></blockquote> Looky here Speck:

x) THIS is the CessPool and we frown on that kind of groggly response.

{iiii} If you'd spent as much time in Northeastern Montana as I had you'd KNOW that May is Summer.

January - April: Winter
May - August: Summer
September - December: Winter

[x/y=a] SOD OFF!

{damned SSNs ... ought to be a bounty is what}

Joe

[Spook]

News flash, pinwit. Virginia isn't Montana.

[SUM(y - y,avg)^2/(n - 1)]^0.5 = does not compute for Joe Shaw. y? Why? Because Joe Shaw is far too deviant to fit even within a "standard deviation."

Keep up with the lame "sod off," and you might have a future in lawn care. Nah, forget it. That implies that there's a future for you.

[Joe Shaw]

I blame Elvis ... if he'd just posted the rules properly we may have averted this latest infestation of SSNs. Worse yet, it's one of those that we thought we'd chased away for good but no doubt his limited brain functions couldn't recall his prior experience here.

He seems to forget that I am a Seniour Knight, The Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread and the CessPool Drain Commissioner and if I say that May is summer in Virginia then BY GAWD May is summer in Virginia!

And then he DARES to refer to the prime directive of the M.B.T., "SOD OFF" as ... {shudder} ... lame!

Why he sees the need to expose his ignorance and groggliness (no Bauhaus it's not ... hmmmm ... why YES Bauhaus it would seem that he's exposing his groggliness, my oh my what SHALL we do about that I wonder ... any ideas Bauhaus?)

Joe

[Speedy]

Go get him plug boy.