I Saw a Beast Rise Up Out of the Sea, and Upon His Heads the Name of Peng Challenge

[Seanachai]

ALROIGHT, THEN! HEADS UP, MOUTHS CLOSED, AND LISTEN TO THE ORFICER, YOU LOT!

The Rules of the Peng Challenge Thread are quite straightforward, really. Astonishingly simple, in fact, in a complex world.

First off, no one here likes you, has any desire to know you, and, in fact, the entire sodding Universe doesn't give a stuff what you want or have to say. Go Away.

Should you remain on despite the first rule, we next wish you to know that coming in, striking a pose, and challenging everyone in the Thread to a match will cause the wastelands to echo with laughter, and you will look like the stupid pillock you are. You will then be told to Go Away, more forcibly, and people will really begin to mean it. Pick someone out, preferably something as newly arrived and worthless as yourself, taunt and challenge it, and you might get a game.

Next, you should sound off as though your wit, courage, and intelligence were not in question. In the vulgate, Sound Off As Though You've Got a Pair! I believe it is. Oh, and more than half a brain, please. If you sound off well, wittily, and with great force of person and humour, you may be accorded a measure of respect here, perhaps for the first time in your doubtless tawdry little life. It's something to look forward to.

Finally, while sounding off, we'd like you to remember that this is the Peng Challenge Thread, not your local boozer where every vulgarity, expletive, and prejudicial slur are met by howls of laughter from halfwits who are only 15 minutes and 3 drinks away from spending the night in Detox. We have standards here, whether you can follow the concept or not, and if you ignore or trample them, you will not only be told to Go Away, you will Go Away, both from here, and hopefully the Forum in general.

Now, that's our simple rules, told in an unsimple way and at great length. Shortly another of the inmates will probably be along to revile me, and repost them in a shorter and easier to understand version.

[ 07-22-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Iskander]

Rather wordy, but since no one else is about, why not?

Let me go get the gillies to unload the booze...

...and of course, get off the babysitter and send me the freaking turn! I've got more of those armor-thingies to rush at you!

[Panzer Leader]

My kanigget can beat up your kanigget any time!

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Iskander:
Rather wordy, but since no one else is about, why not?

Let me go get the gillies to unload the booze...
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Perhaps a bit, but I imagine it will keep the Jehovah's Witnesses from ringing the bell when you're trying to sleep off your latest debauch.

[Iskander]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:
Perhaps a bit, but I imagine it will keep the Jehovah's Witnesses from ringing the bell when you're trying to sleep off your latest debauch.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No, no! Let 'em on in, S; there are few things in the world as entertaining as arguing theology when drinking! I've even had the pleasure of doing that in RealLife(TM) when some nice old ladies were going door to door; as I was devastating their talking points one-by-one, I made sure to be a good host and continually offered them something from my bar.

They finally left. Never came back... can't imagine why...?

[wadepm]

Gee...a Peng thread with less than a billion replys. How unusual.

[von shrad]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> originally posted by wadPMS

Gee...a Peng thread with less than a billion replys. How unusual. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thank you for your thought's and deep perspective understanding of the MBT (tm). I am not sure how things have managed here without you and your input for so long. Now if you have a pair, and I don't mean your flowing ovaries, sound off as if you do, or do us all a favor and go play jack's on the nearest freeway. Thanks again for the analyst and we hope to receive a follow-up very soon.

BTW, sod off!

von shrad
Goanna's bitch

The Bolded one is now as free as O.J. and vows to find the real perpetrators. Gordon Lightfoot should write a song commemorating his hardships.

Damn Hippies and their folk music. The work of the Devil I tell you

[ 07-22-2001: Message edited by: von shrad ]

[**YK2**]

Ahhhhh a new thread and hosted by Seanacoochiecoo no less.
Should be interesting to say the least.
BTW...... Does this mean Not Guilty as charged?

[wadepm]

Von shrad, I really don't know how to respond to....whatever that was. Except to say that I noticed your member (number) is a little smaller than mine. But I hear there are treatments...

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by YK2:
Ahhhhh a new thread and hosted by Seanacoochiecoo no less.
Should be interesting to say the least.
BTW...... Does this mean Not Guilty as charged?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Of course not. It just means good lawyers, silly woman!

[MrPeng]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by wadepm:
Gee...a Peng thread with less than a billion replys. How unusual.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Gentleworms:

Should I?

I shall.

wadepms, it is not my habit to point out the obvious to those to whom pointing out the obvious is bereft of use. However, I am feeling somewhat charitable today, and will therefore give you a bit of a clue as to the way things tend to work, at least on this particulary BBS.

Someone, anyone, starts a topic by clicking on the Start a New Topic thingy. This typically involves the topic starter giving a title to the thread, and then writing a bit about something and then clicking the submit button.

Sometime after this, other readers of the BBS may or may not read the new topic and may or may not post a reply to the topic. It often happens that the reply to the topic has some amount of relevance to the topic originator's idea: sometimes the replyer is in agreement with the original post, and sometimes in disagreement and other times goes "OT".

When several or many or a lot of people post to a particular thread, the number of replies to that thread grows, typically by an increment of 1 (one){uno} [ein] ONE positive integer per reply. This is a kind of "keeping track" or "counting." In some circles it can be considered a useful thing to count stuff (Here in the Peng threads we have a sort of idiosyncratic way of enumerating, but it seems to work for us, sort of).

Now it happens that every once in a while, at around 300 replies to an original "Peng Thread" post, starting a new Peng Thread, that a "Peng Thread slack ass poster boy" will begin a new "Peng Thread." When this happens, it re-sets the increment of replies to the original (and in this case new) Peng Thread start up post to 0 (zero) {a thousand pardons I don't know any foreign zeros, except of course PawBroon.)

So you see, wadepms, at some juncture, every Peng thread is at a point in its short life where the number of replies is small. In fact, it happens every time there is a new Peng Thread.

I hope this helps to end your apparent befuddlement. Now go away.

Peng

[Iskander]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by YK2:
... Does this mean Not Guilty as charged?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

"Not Proven" is I think the apposite term; "gamey, verbose, warbling git" might do it, too.

[von shrad]

Comparing Member Numbers are we? Let me tell you it is not the size of your number but how you use it, and you Ma'am are no exception. What shall we expect next? An important weather update?

Now run along, I think I hear you mommy calling. Don't forget to wipe you feet either. There's no telling what you might have caught on your dip into the shallow end of the pool.

Did I tell you to sod off? I am sorry, that was rude. I meant piss off!

von shrad
Goanna's Hate Slave

[**YK2**]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:


Of course not. It just means good lawyers, silly woman!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'll consider that a telling off then.
:rolleyes:

[PeterNZer]

wipe your feet?
here?

vonshrad, you are terrifying me. the universe just collapsed back into my head and probably won't come out again the next 2 days...

BTW, is your van still running?

[OGSF]

"you silly git, you picked the one from the list I wished to play!! if ya want to blame someone look in that cracked mirror of yours you have and after ya put more cracks in it with yer ugly mug.. say "I'mma boob!"

pick it me lad, heck find a middle man to make it for us! (but on a pre made map not some silly thing a monkeys Uncle could make)!

I would'nt mind picking say um...Berli, or wait on second thought not him.. evil bastard. Senachai or that nob Manority.. majority.. or what ever the nobs name is."

(As blathered bah Mensch)

Pillock Ah said an' pillock ye are. Tha were you're "Ah widnae mind playin' thus wun" wun. Pillock. An' noo ye tryin' tae selaict tha naixt sandbagger!

Gwin thain, Ah cudnae bae bothered - boot mak demned sure at's been prrroperly plah tested. Pillock. An' ye pick tha scenario, Ah'll pick tha side.

Festerin' git.

An' Iskander, ye're a fire hazard. Af'n ye want some, send at along laddie.

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABC DJimmy

[von shrad]

Post-001.txt (for you Pelvis )

Lindan are you thinking what I am? Another drive-by arse kicking? It does have it's merit. After wadpms's post my pacifist brother has included himself in the class B felony. A wanker's post can bring out the worst in all of us.

Care to get the mod knocked out of you Linda ? If so, send me a set-up that we can both agree to hate. A nasty Berli-battle should do badly I believe. That's a lot of B's.

von shrad
Goanna's personal piss-boy

[Moriarty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I would'nt mind picking say um...Berli, or wait on second thought not him.. evil bastard. Senachai or that nob Manority.. majority.. or what ever the nobs name is.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You talkin' to me, Wensch

Random thought: (I am allowed one per year)

How is it that Elvis can deal with posting on the CM board that numbers the posts sequentially but cannot deal with playing the game the same way?

[Moriarty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:
ALROIGHT, THEN! HEADS UP, MOUTHS CLOSED, AND LISTEN TO THE ORFICER, YOU LOT!

The Rules of the Peng Challenge Thread are quite straightforward, really. Astonishingly simple, in fact, in a complex world.

First off, no one here likes you, has any desire to know you, and, in fact, the entire sodding Universe doesn't give a stuff what you want or have to say. Go Away.

Should you remain on despite the first rule, we next wish you to know that coming in, striking a pose, and challenging everyone in the Thread to a match will cause the wastelands to echo with laughter, and you will look like the stupid pillock you are. You will then be told to Go Away, more forcibly, and people will really begin to mean it. Pick someone out, preferably something as newly arrived and worthless as yourself, taunt and challenge it, and you might get a game.

Next, you should sound off as though your wit, courage, and intelligence were not in question. In the vulgate, Sound Off As Though You've Got a Pair! I believe it is. Oh, and more than half a brain, please. If you sound off well, wittily, and with great force of person and humour, you may be accorded a measure of respect here, perhaps for the first time in your doubtless tawdry little life. It's something to look forward to.

Finally, while sounding off, we'd like you to remember that this is the Peng Challenge Thread, not your local boozer where every vulgarity, expletive, and prejudicial slur are met by howls of laughter from halfwits who are only 15 minutes and 3 drinks away from spending the night in Detox. We have standards here, whether you can follow the concept or not, and if you ignore or trample them, you will not only be told to Go Away, you will Go Away, both from here, and hopefully the Forum in general.

Now, that's our simple rules, told in an unsimple way and at great length. Shortly another of the inmates will probably be along to revile me, and repost them in a shorter and easier to understand version.

[ 07-22-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

6.3B-1 What'd he say?

x22. Well, Sasquatch didn't number the rules so he must be an Elvisian entity. (And isn't it odd that Peng, who invented the MBT numbering system has risen to the defense, or defence, of Elvis who's has a thingy against numeration?)

[OGSF]

{b]Moriarty[/b], wid ye bae sae keend as tae saind a naasty scenario tae Menschy tha blatherin' pillock? Sae hae kin saind at tae mae fer settin oop.


Preferrably wun tha as either play tested an' foond tae bae a good un, or wun heavily unbalanced ain mah favour.

Thank' ye keendly.

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABC DJimmy

[PeterNZer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by von shrad:

Lindan are you thinking what I am? Another drive-by arse kicking? It does have it's merit. After wadpms's post my pacifist brother has included himself in the class B felony. A wanker's post can bring out the worst in all of us.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I deem it very appropriate to do some drive-by-kicking or.. what the heck, let's just drive over them...

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Care to get the mod knocked out of you Linda ? If so, send me a set-up that we can both agree to hate. A nasty Berli-battle should do badly I believe. That's a lot of B's.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

A setup with a nasty Berli battle in in your box, as requested. -> Le Camp Crossroad
To insult you further I chose you to attack with the French. I make you personally responsible
to get all men under your command killed who may be involved with the creation of Pawbroon after the war.

Lindan

[ 07-22-2001: Message edited by: Lindan ]

[ParaBellum]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:
My kanigget can beat up your kanigget any time!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You mean:

Your kanigget can beat up someone's kanigget if your kanigget gets more 20mm than a Luftwaffe kanigget Division in deep snow just before sunrise.

In response to Panzerkanigget's post describing the heroic actions of my soldiers vs his 20mm/SMG/Püppchen/snow/low visibility defense (last Peng thread):

On a clear day with historical forces my kaniggets would've trashed your kaniggets in no time!
Ha!
:D

[ 07-22-2001: Message edited by: ParaBellum ]

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lindan:
wipe your feet?
here?

vonshrad, you are terrifying me. the universe just collapsed back into my head and probably won't come out again the next 2 days...

BTW, is your van still running?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Here, you little pillock, I keep looking for the thread where that unbelievable git Fieldmarshall accuses you of having started the Peng Challenge Thread, but I can't seem to lock it down. Could you let us know where this rather droll and empty-headed post is located?

By the by, I never know how to deal with objects so apallingly useless as Fieldmarshall. Obviously he either has the mental age of an 8 year old, or he is in High School.

Now, you want to encourage and mentor young people, certainly, but the repeated occurrence on the CM Boards of those with an ego strength far larger than their IQs, world experience, or anything interesting to say, does present a bit of a problem, which is further exacerbated by the nature of communication via the Internet.

That is, the little bastards, with no more accomplishments in the world than the ability to turn on a computer, manipulate a few keys, and then evacuate themselves online, show-up and expect to be treated like actual human beings.

Of course, when they are treated like actual human beings, that is, with no respect at all, belittled, laughed at, and pointed out for the useless little ****es they are, they bristle, yip, and demand favourable status.

But I digress.

Lindan, you horror. In the style of Penggrog, let me just say:

we have reviewed your conclusions and must question why ignorant posters of a young age receive so much attention in cm. look for our soon to be published work on correctly modeling kicking the little swine in the head, with special reference to the data from the testing grounds outside selected montesorri method daycares. especially of interest are the cross-referencing of data regarding the results of droning on in badly structured lowercase english referencing topics that won't feed the hungry nor teach the young, but that we insist are as significant as the use of proper english or even having a a political process. when these are matched against data suggesting that scientist/technilogical posters have no more responsibility to the process of fostering awareness and educating than they do to making any effort to make themselves understood while endlessly indulging their own hobby-horses then i think you will see that the function of cm in the coming millenium is to indulge specialists in their monomaniacal specialties while trying to ignore football hooligans as well as any need to engage their minds in any way.

Sorry, all, as I haven't the necessary intellectual tools to properly elucidate the Grog approach to CM while attempting to engage the minds of the people it's aimed at. Bugger.

Still, I had a damn good whack at annoying young people and grogs both, eh?

[ 07-22-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Stalin's Organ]

It's no wonder Elvis is dead - the current incarnation clearly doesn't have enough brains in its head to breathe!

OK, Elvira - lizen vury carfully, four I shall zay this oonly wunce - the PBEM programe need the numbers to keep track fo games, then it puts a nice wee note next to each one saying "play", "wait" or "send".

I need these notes like I need air - you obviously need neither so perhaps the point is lost on you, but it remains valid never-the-less. Thus I need to devote 1 less neuron to figuring out wehat to do next, and so the effects of continual alocholo consumption for a few decades are marginally lessened.

[Moriarty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:


Here, you little pillock, I keep looking for the thread where that unbelievable git Fieldmarshall accuses you of having started the Peng Challenge Thread, but I can't seem to lock it down. Could you let us know where this rather droll and empty-headed post is located?

By the by, I never know how to deal with objects so apallingly useless as Fieldmarshall. Obviously he either has the mental age of an 8 year old, or he is in High School.

Now, you want to encourage and mentor young people, certainly, but the repeated occurrence on the CM Boards of those with an ego strength far larger than their IQs, world experience, or anything interesting to say, does present a bit of a problem, which is further exacerbated by the nature of communication via the Internet.

That is, the little bastards, with no more accomplishments in the world than the ability to turn on a computer, manipulate a few keys, and then evacuate themselves online, show-up and expect to be treated like actual human beings.

Of course, when they are treated like actual human beings, that is, with no respect at all, belittled, laughed at, and pointed out for the useless little ****es they are, they bristle, yip, and demand favourable status.

But I digress.

Lindan, you horror. In the style of Penggrog, let me just say:

we have reviewed your conclusions and must question why ignorant posters of a young age receive so much attention in cm. look for our soon to be published work on correctly modeling kicking the little swine in the head, with special reference to the data from the testing grounds outside selected montesorri method daycares. especially of interest are the cross-referencing of data regarding the results of droning on in badly structured lowercase english referencing topics that won't feed the hungry nor teach the young, but that we insist are as significant as the use of proper english or even having a a political process. when these are matched against data suggesting that scientist/technilogical posters have no more responsibility to the process of fostering awareness and educating than they do to making any effort to make themselves understood while endlessly indulging their own hobby-horses then i think you will see that the function of cm in the coming millenium is to indulge specialists in their monomaniacal specialties while trying to ignore football hooligans as well as any need to engage their minds in any way.

Sorry, all, as I haven't the necessary intellectual tools to properly elucidate the Grog approach to CM while attempting to engage the minds of the people it's aimed at. Bugger.

Still, I had a damn good whack at annoying young people and grogs both, eh?

[ 07-22-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

What'd he say?

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:
It just means good lawyers<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'm sorry, but no Oxymorons please!

Mace

[DekeFentle]

Updates:

joey SUCKS
I checked, not a drop of scum anywhere to be found. No fecal matter, nothing. You can eat off the floor and every other surface with complete safety. joey joey joey, you are such a cowering, toe jam SUCKING refuse heap. Not really an update but an absolute truth that just plain needs saying as often as possible.

Agua Perdido
You owe me a feckin turn boy! In fact your slackerdly pace for our little conflict is beyond reason (I guess I didn't really expect more). Check page 17 of the manual you Pengian pessary, perhaps a re-read of that section will help you along.

Leo
Maybe number three will be the charm? Naw I doubt it. I seem to have come up with the terrain. Say do you still have your nose rammed up Stuky Puky's arse? You little squires are so cute that way. Maybe you could send him copies of the turns and plead for advice. Then again advice from that scum swilling butt pirate would probably cause your computer to crash or at best be worthless.

Mace
The piss drinker form down under is claiming he stuck to the rules this time. I believe it when I see the end game map. In any case I cheated like crazy so I'm sure I'll be bowled over by that back-biting bitch, lady luck.

When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor.

[DekeFentle]

Lorak

I think you missed this...

Whupin' Boy WIN
Mace LOSS

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:
I'm sorry, but no Oxymorons please!
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Be as sorry as you like, but it's a bit late to be shutting the stable door - the Ozymorons are already here!

[PeterNZer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Here, you little pillock, I keep looking for the thread where that unbelievable git Fieldmarshall accuses you of having started the Peng Challenge Thread, but I can't seem to lock it down. Could you let us know where this rather droll and empty-headed post is located?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
here it is:
http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=1&t=020482
unfortunately the braindead snail edited his post, so there is not much to be seen now.


<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>
Lindan, you horror. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
That's me. Use Anführungszeichen the next time you quote my mother.
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>
In the style of Penggrog, let me just say:
incomprehensible gibberish
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Yes, I think I can agree. On second thought.. no, I think I disagree.
But the part about torturing nuns and converting them to the Church of PENG was quite nice.

BTW: look at what happens if the cesspool doesn't eradicate the fieldmarshalls of the world. give them some more years which they don't deserve and you get this:
http://www.rubberburner.com

my oh my. I didn't know that Stalin's Orgel is called CURRY by his whores.
figures.

Lindan
[edited for authors stupidity]

[ 07-22-2001: Message edited by: Lindan ]

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lindan:

[edited for authors stupidity]
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The quality of Lindan's posts are improving!

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lindan:


BTW: look at what happens if the cesspool doesn't eradicate the fieldmarshalls of the world. give them some more years which they don't deserve and you get this:
http://www.rubberburner.com


[ 07-22-2001: Message edited by: Lindan ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I..I...I may never be able to sleep again without screaming.

Stuka! Take note, lad, this is where your attitudes might lead you. I would hope for better things from you.

Thank you, Lindan, as I had just come here from the Outer Boards where I somewhat lost my temper. I would like to say I feel better now, but I mainly feel horrified and queasy.

Still, that's an improvement over angry and prejudicial.

[PeterNZer]

Schwalling Orgel:

RULE 67xV/b
You are only allowed to adress members within +/-2001 of your member number.

[PeterNZer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>
BTW: look at what happens if the cesspool doesn't eradicate the fieldmarshalls of the world. give them some more years which they don't deserve and you get this:
http://www.rubberburner.com
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Addendum:
in the middle there is a link labeled "Tiger", leading to a quicktime video. This is a MUST SEE for all Tiger sluts. :D

[Elvis]

Wankers.

[Elvis]

Organ ..or should I call you Mr. 5308 come lately. What are you talking about.

[Stalin's Organ]

Elvira - have you forgotten so soon? Why it was jsut yesterday that you said to all and sundry:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>
Organ,
I don't see how numbering ensures that you send a file. It only ensures that you numbered it not that you sent it.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Your lack of memory is more evidence that you have too few brain cells to allow to breathe!

Oh, and Lemonade, were you talking to me you poor old fart - perhaps you should turn your megaphone up, or get new batteries for it??

Until then feel free to go away, or sod off - anything just as long as you shut up!

[ 07-22-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ]

[ 07-23-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ]

[Leeo]

Send Me a Fecking Turn, Aitken! I'm ready to continue crossing the river and spanking your liver-spotted arse!

Send the turn!

(Edited because the Universe, for just a small infinity of time, came to an abrupt standstill).

[ 07-22-2001: Message edited by: Leeo ]

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Stuka! Take note, lad, this is where your attitudes might lead you. I would hope for better things from you.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That...will...never...ever...happen...to...me...

Ugh! I need to scrub my monitor now. It feels so.......infected.

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng:
Stuka:
I think Elvis has an 8" shell that disagrees with you...hee hee!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Quite correct.
I am gagging on the repercussions of that shell as we speak.

Still, it makes a change for Elvis to be dropping his shells on my lads instead of his own.

Pfffurptt!

[David Aitken]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Heave-ho wrote:
Send Me a Fecking Turn, Aitken!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I did, you spoon!

Now, for the benefit of Elvish:

I sent you file #59 @ 10.23pm (5.23pm Yankee Time) on Thursday. Simply complete this easy questionnaire and return it to us in the reply-paid envelope provided:

[ ] YES! I received turn #59 and returned #60 to you! I shall resend it immediately as my mail server (or, more likely, my family lineage) is highly dubious and has doubtlessly pocketed said file on its way to you.

[ ] NO! I did not receive turn #59! Please resend immediately as my mail server (or, more likely, my family lineage) is highly dubious and has doubtlessly pocketed said file on its way to me.

There, that wasn't too difficult, now was it (stop cackling Costello!)

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lindan:
you get this:
http://www.rubberburner.com

my oh my. I didn't know that Stalin's Orgel is called CURRY by his whores.
figures.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You've damned near bought a tear to my eye Linda, not by drawing my attention to a website that by URL name appears to be bondage related and thus worthy of my attention, but by associating it with my 'favorite' Kiwi.

I would almost go to say that you are now further up my people worth knowing list, but don't get too excited, there's a few billion ahead of you.

Mace

[Mace]

*rant*

btw as a result of reading the content of that particular URL, I believe the wrong people are getting killed or maimed in motor vehicle accidents!

*/rant*

[harpooner]

Yes, I will surface again some day. I will rise from the depths and smite you all!!!

especially the perfidious LEEO and the dastardly STUKA!

even may the mythic MEEKS rise upon yee once more and lay you waste...

life takes precedence for me at the moment.

[Babra]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lindan:
BTW: look at what happens if the cesspool doesn't eradicate the fieldmarshalls of the world. give them some more years which they don't deserve and you get this:
http://www.rubberburner.com
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I say we set get these two together. Unfortunately, the pictures have been removed, but let's just say they were just as "good": http://www.geocities.com/lonely451_2000/me.html

[Stuka]

Harpy old Cock, have you stolen Meek's PC again?

Shame on you lad, now I will have to box your ears like a Mexican donkey all over again.

And Seanoochy, you have had your set up for 2 days now. Are you still administering oxygen to recover from the ominious threat that playing me brings you?

Or have you fallen down the stairs again?

[Stalin's Organ]

Hey Macey - I think this bit was meant for you:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>
Imagine that you are going to a party that starts at eight o'clock. You show up on time, but your pants have dirt all over them, your T-shirt has old tomato sauce stains on it (perhaps also an old dried up piece of spaghetti), your hair is oily and full of dandruff, and you haven't brushed your teeth for days. See? Get it?!?!?! EVEN THOUGH you are being "good" by showing up on time, no one is going to want to talk to you! And not only that, you will also generate a long-lasting negative impression on people, which is really bad.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No do you see what you're doing wrong - you REALLY need to check this guy out and take some his advice!!

[ 07-23-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ]

[Geier]

Ha! I say. I'll say it again.

HA!

They said it couldn't be done, they said it was impossible, they said several other stupid things too but I proved them all wrong!

I killed the SMG gap thread! I shut tero up!
In that battle I did not wield my Sword of Sarcasm +3, nor did my Awful Mace of Irony +4 make an appearance. Nay, I cast the ultra-powerful Globe of Minor Understanding at him and Lo! It worked.
Donations (organs, money, tourist souvenirs (that meant what you hope it didn't) or Really Big Tanks) are accepted instead of payment.

However, there is a fly in my milk, a wasp in the ointment, an inbound 76mm tungsten round toward my Panther. My damn damn graphics card require strong magic to function and I'm running out of young nubile (straight from Nubilia) virgins. But I believe I shall ignore the cards cries for other IRQ channels and its refusal to accept that nVidias new ref drivers are better than the crap it uses now. Someday it will see the error of its ways and accept that it is using AGP and not PCI too.
I will ignore this calamity and simply chug along and send out the files tonight.

The ones who I am playing, you have my sympathy.

Not really.

[PeterNZer]

Geier:
did you also wear the Cloak of Ignorance +2,
and wielded the Wand of Barrel Droop -30%, not to mention the Boots of Horrible Stink +6?

[edited to execute a "y"]

[ 07-23-2001: Message edited by: Lindan ]

[Stalin's Organ]

It seems that Jesus does indeed love Mrs Robinson more than he will ever know.

The miserable gamey son of a cockroach and a slimeball managed to squeeze 44 points out of Rune's stupid Oberluge-damned-river-crossing scenario thingie.

That entitles him to a draw bugger it, 'cos I only got 52!

[Geier]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lindan:
Geier:
did you also wear the Cloak of Ignorance +2,
and wielded the Wand of Barrel Droop -30%, not to mention the Boots of Horribly Stink +6?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
If you have to ask, you just haven't dared reading it have you? The Cloak is +3 by the way. But I've traded the Wand for an Amulet of Tungsten Availability.

How perfectly awful of you to drop by, you awful awful person. Do you still have the Cursed Garters of Panzer Leader -3? Don't give them back or he'll start posting about his "bronzed spear" again.

[Geier]

Lindan! You terrible person!
You actually own the name www.nahverteidigungswaffe.de (http://www.nahverteidigungswaffe.de)?

You sick sick sick wonderful man.

[Goanna]

Elvis you fetid, simpering little cabbage. I do believe there is only one way to settle your hash for good and keep you from naggin’ on like the big-haired Philly chick you are. That’s right campers, I hereby call a Blood Hamster on Elvis. Subject to the rules governing such an act, following our match he will be wearing the following ditty for one month {that’s 31 calendar days for you wussies that hate numbers}:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I number my turns sequentially because it makes me feel pretty. I also enjoy long walks in the park, chatting with like-minded simpletons such as myself and being Goanna’s bitch. If you’re ever in Philly, please look me up, because my wife just loves cooking for and accommodating any old blow-in that happens through town.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I will be travelling from the land-o-sand back to the Lucky Country from today until 26 July {oops, more of those dreaded numbers}. By that time I would like to have agreement or a counter proposal from the cabbage in question on the following:

* <2500 point attack/defend {out damn numbers!}
* Map selected or prepared by Germanboy if he is able or selected by mensch
* Force types selected at random by Berli who will tell us what we have and whether we are attacking or defending only after you have selected your choice of Axis or Allies.
* Scenario date, time, weather, ground condition and number of turns selected at random by Seanachai
* We will make our unrestricted purchases in the required force types and provide them to mensch who will buy them on the map and send the game out to us as a tournament save to the first player.


That'll sort the gob****e out.

[PeterNZer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Geier:
Lindan! You terrible person!
You actually own the name www.nahverteidigungswaffe.de (http://www.nahverteidigungswaffe.de)?

You sick sick sick wonderful man.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, this is indeed the beautiful site filled with Warphead and my adventures. I have to say that Warphead is the main contributor as he has all the work with it. I as the lazy bastard that I am, have the important function to pose next to all kinds of equipment for the sake of "size-comparison" :D

Lindan

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lawyer:

So I say Seanachai must be re-tried and re-hung
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Its re-hanged. Re-hung is something they can only do at expensive Scandinavian clinics.

[Mark IV]

Gone fishin' at the coast for the weekend, and I return to 8 (!) pages of weekend spew. Elvis, you may substitute a "y" for the offending digit. The Pacific was beautiful and bountiful as usual. How fortunate that Australia is so far away.

Further, I have an Inbox full of hate from current oppos, and even a setup from Soiledman. I laugh at you all, haha. I'll get to it when I bloody well please, i.e., when She lets me.

Hats off once again to Seanachai for cramming more into a header than most SSNs do in a post (apologies to the always-quotable Herr Nietzsche).

[mensch]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Goanna:

* Map selected or prepared by Germanboyif he is able or selected by mensch<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

you sir I have one!! One where there will be much nashing of teeth and words spoken like "wholy ****! I got to use tactics!!" or "crap.. real life terrain!! who makes crap like this.. GOD?" well ok I'm no god but I takes god's work and puts it like smack dab on a map..

so to answer your question, yes I have a map you can choke on. just right for your point value stuff.

now email me when you need it.. now bugger off.

[Agua Perdido]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by DekeFentle:
You owe me a feckin turn boy! In fact your slackerdly pace for our little conflict is beyond reason...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Au contraire, it is quite within reason: I finished an entire game with Goanna while doing the setup of this game, and I've got to finish the follow-up with the unterlizard before ours ends. Given my recent teetering near auto-surrender, that's taking some careful time management, shall we say. I am an attritionist, both within the game and without.

Quite aside from that, there has occurred an occurrence so au courant (well, more sort of retro really, and not in an up-to-date, trendy way, either, but that didn't scan as nicely) that I am shocked into posting

UPDATES!

Croda has SENT A FECKIN' TURN!. Unimagineable. Of course, it mainly consisted of his signature Crodastic assualt style: send the squads up one at a time to be summarily hashed by my superior forces, now firmly dug-in around one of the VLs. At least he's out of arty, so he can't shell himself anymore. Our young Croda is down to about 4 squads of effectives, and I'm ready to roll up his flanks and serve him a steaming platter of Die-a-Lot(tm). Either that, or I've fallen right into his trap. Whichever.

Speaking of which, the recently-exonorated/convicted Seanachai is facing End Times of Biblical proportions in our game. I've finally tracked down his last infantry squad, which turns out to be the half-strength sole victim of my rocket barrage. I've still got a Wespe and a StuH42 to batter all the rest into submission, and the last flag will soon be in my grasp. I will have my revenge, Seanachai; I will have my revenge!

Which brings us to Goanna, with whom I am engaged in an intense psychological struggle of which neither of us seems to be aware. On the surface, our game should be tense, exciting--nail-bitingly edge-of-the-seat, even. Limited LOS, sudden appearances of tanks, guns, flamethrowers... squads looming out of the woods, stumbling into ambushes, appearing unexpectedly on the flanks, and so forth. But the first ten turns were really boring, so neither of us cares now that fighting's actually started. I finished my last move on Wednesday, but I forgot to send it until last night. Goanna didn't even notice that I hadn't replied. Anyhow, I've knocked out a couple of guns and scattered a couple of platoons, he's killed some of my men, both of us are dropping arty on friend and foe alike.

Speaking of the ever-whiny whuppin' boy, DekeFentle is gamey, cheating, file-hacking bastard. He's edited my orders files at least twice to convert my brilliantly-timed smoke barrages into disastrous HE drops that broke my close-assaulting infantry just as they were about to knock out one of his gamey pillboxes. His cheating has cost my most of my infantry and several vehicles. However, this turn I got a first-shot kill on a Vet Hetzer at medium range. That's what you get for trying to hurry me along!

The other gamey bastages I'm playing need to SEND ME A FECKIN' TURN!. Croda does, too, just because it's never too early to start nagging him about it, the brainless prat.

Agua Perdido

[Mr. Johnson--]

Its quite absurbed actually. The duel between SSN Stalin's Organ and SSN Mr-Johnson resulted in:

Johnson/Germans 44
290W/85KIA
1 captured
3 guns destroyed
6 bunkers knocked out
11 Panthers destroyed
Score 44

Stalin's Organ/Brits
396W/99KIA
3 mortars destroyed
35 tanks destroyed
Score 52

Thanks RUNE very fun. I achived my objectives. Only a few more casualties then I wanted. I think we gonna do a regular QB next, lets see if Stalin always attacks like a ballerina.

[Speedbump]

**Scene: An empty courtroom

A rattle is heard from somewhere near the side of the court. A hand spasmodically grips the bannister of the Jury box, slowly pulling a bleary eyed face to a level where it can look about the room.

"Bleck! What a mess back here. Hey, where is everyone; the Judge, the lawyers, the accused, but most importantly - the Stenographers! Man, take a quick nap and see what happens...hey what did happen? Did we finally get around to finding the bastiche guilty? If so, I hope I didn't miss the punishment!

Oh no, I'm feeling a little ill, maybe I will just lay my head down and take another nap. Maybe there will be another trial along soon!"

The figure slowly slumps back down into his corner of the Jury box, a beatific look on his face, dreaming of scantily clad stenographers bouncing around the courtroom holding bottles of nirvana...

Speedbump

[Elvis]

Mr. 5308,
If your PBEM helper makes you number your turns then what does it do for you? Doesn't sound like a very useful tool. I know HIrams didn't make him do that because we played games and the files weren't numbered. I will have him contact you so you can check out the one he used.

[Elvis]

I accept the challenge from Lizardboy.
I have never done one of these somebody else sets up the game thingies so you will have to hold my hand through the process as I am a very dim and thick-headed person.
I do wonder why you are the throwing down the gauntlet because we ave played many many games and think you only numbered turns in the last one we played. There will be no numbering of turns in this gae we are about to play. I still stand by my no numbering rule for games vs Elvis. The first email I send to you I will remind you that if there is numbering then there is no game. If the turn sent after that email is numbered itwill never be responded to. I will act as if we never set up a game. I will not return the file or even acknowledge that I am not returning the file...you will receive dead air. This is not open to debate with anyone I ever play again (with the exception of CMMC battles)

[PeterNZer]

Von Shrad,
Did you get my fecking setup?
I'm loosing all my games at the moment and urgently need a refreshing victory. Or, failing that, an utter trashing to get back to my senses.

Lindan

[ 07-23-2001: Message edited by: Lindan ]

[**YK2**]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lindan:


BTW: look at what happens if the cesspool doesn't eradicate the fieldmarshalls of the world. give them some more years which they don't deserve and you get this:
http://www.rubberburner.com

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Surely this guy's not for real???
He actually thinks he is MR WONDERFUL.
He describes himself as having an attractive body and HAIRCUT????????
BOLD, HANDSOME, CONFIDENT, AND GOOD LOOKING
GORGEOUS, SEXY AND BRAVE this has got to be a wind up.....

More like, very weird looking guy in need of a haircut and a personality transplant. Notice how none of the pictures are close up or even clear...... I thank him for small mercies. It will take some time to rid those pics form my fragile mind

Still, thanks for the laugh Lindan
Now please excuse me while I throw up.....

[Speedbump]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by YK2:


Surely this guy's not for real???
He actually thinks he is MR WONDERFUL.
He describes himself as having an attractive body and HAIRCUT????????
BOLD, HANDSOME, CONFIDENT, AND GOOD LOOKING
GORGEOUS, SEXY AND BRAVE this has got to be a wind up.....

More like, very weird looking guy in need of a haircut and a personality transplant. Notice how none of the pictures are close up or even clear...... I thank him for small mercies. It will take some time to rid those pics form my fragile mind

Still, thanks for the laugh Lindan
Now please excuse me while I throw up.....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


Are we sure that's not Mouse?

Speedbump

[David Aitken]

Colonel_Deadmarsh has a feeling that tanks get taken out too quickly in CM! BTS, fix or do somefink!!

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mr. Johnson-<THC>-:

35 tanks destroyed
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Only if you count MMG carriers, White Scout Cars, Daimlers and M3 h/t's as tanks!!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I achived my objectives. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Only because you defined them when the game was over!

So what were they? To not actually "lose"? That's about all that you achieved! Let's see - you failed to even secure the one flag that was not threatened by the Brits, failed to stop me crossing the river, failed to win, failed to score more points, failed to destroy the Brits, failed to deploy your Pantehrs properly - one even got KO'd by a 75!

Yep, I'm dying to see what you succeded at??!!

Since you couldn't stop the attack of a ballerina it is self evident that you must be lacking a decent pair of cojones....maybe even lacking all of them!

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:
Mr. 5308,
If your PBEM helper makes you number your turns then what does it do for you? Doesn't sound like a very useful tool. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Probably because yuo weren't listening you feckless youth - when yo grow up you can have a number even higher than mine if you're a good boy - until then a good spanking is in order!

The helper keeps track of my games - not as many as some ppl play, and tells me their status. It lists each game on a single line regrdless of how many files are in the PBEM directory. It automatically enters my passwords when I open the turn, and it allows me to send the files to my opponents without having to use outlook or figure out which file to attach. all in all it's a good time saver and organiser.

Oh, and it works for variou other games too should you PBEM them, not just CM.

Now go away and see if you can't improve on that stupid little 3 digit thing you call a number!

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:
How fortunate that Australia is so far away.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Our thoughts exactly.

Mace

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by YK2:
Surely this guy's not for real???
He actually thinks he is MR WONDERFUL.
... we agree with your wholeheartedly...
Still, thanks for the laugh Lindan
Now please excuse me while I throw up.....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

So, Emma, you didn't take a look at his 'how to pick up chicks' video then?

I did, and one question comes to mind: is that nasty chest rash of his causing him some grief?

Now from one extreme to the other, here is another Bright spark (http://www.pixyland.org/peterpan/petersFashionPage.html), no doubt a CMer keen in trying out a few new uniform mods.

And yes, Stalin's Organ I always maintained you looked pretty in pink, and here's proof.

Mace

[Mark IV]

Other thoughts from Elvis’ forthcoming book, “Rants Against the Machine”:

I will no longer drive on named streets. Streets are not people and do not move about, therefore they do not require names. If you are driving and get lost, simply return to the previous street and start over.

I will no longer address envelopes with anything other than the receiving party’s name. I only have one acquaintance named Peng, and everybody knows him. The post office should simply deliver it to him without fussing about his personal data.

I will not name my newborn son. I only have 2 children and can easily tell them apart at a glance, and so can everyone else.

I will no longer read the dosage indications on medications. After all, you should just keep taking them until you feel bett…

The manuscript ends here, but I’m sure he’ll be adding more later, as soon as he is able.

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

And yes, Stalin's Organ I always maintained you looked pretty in pink, and here's proof.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Teargas the thought of you thinking that I look pretty at all makes me wanna puke!

But at least it's a sign that your standards are changing since a human is the object of your affections! I won't call it an improvement tho'.

90 million sheep in Auss can bleat in safety today!

4 million kiwis wish they could say the same!

[Stuka]

What concerns me, Mace, is that you actively sought out that page of fop-boy.

Or is it one of your favourites?

[Elvis]

Mark4 another follower. Sad. I thought you at least had a mind of your own.

[Elvis]

How isthe construction of my Blood Hamster match with Lizardboy going? I haven't heard a word since I agreed.

[Stuka]

Forget your Blood Hamster Elvira, what is of greater concern is our game.

With 8 or so turns to go, (I don't count turns because I have a mind of my own), I am observing the build up of your flag rush teams. I trust things are going well in the french camp? Run out of 8" shells have we?

I wave my private parts at your Aunties, and call you an Eeenglishman.

[David Aitken]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Stuka wrote:
Run out of 8" shells have we?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

He wouldn't be able to tell you the calibre, these things aren't important to him.

My vote is a child-induced mid-life crisis. All those years going with the crowd, all that time wasted being a conformist, not thinking, just doing what everyone says is right.

Presumably his kid was born with a bar code.

[imported_Wildman]

As any father can tell you Elvis is suffering from Sleep-deprevation.

He has deleved into that mystery we solumnly call Fatherhood. With unwitting enthusiasm he volunteered to get up twice a night to feed the noisy kidlet. He now stumbles around like an extra on the movie "Night of the Living Dead," and pretends to post coherently.

A sleep-deprived Elvis is worse that a drunk Peng.

[Lorak]

drival and ****e. That is all you fellows are good for.

I have to show up early for work today.
Go to some damn "dealing with the stress of change" meeting.
come back and read e-mails that make mefill like someone is bashing me in the head with a brick that has "CMMC" written on it.
Find out I have to go to some kind of damn work shop in Charlotte tomarrow.
Then come here and have to read crap about how people want to date good-looking race car drivers.

In the imortal words of Peng I quote:

Peng(23.IV.C.&) Feh!


Lorak the loathed

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>YK2, who was, obviously, not paying attention, asked: BTW...... Does this mean Not Guilty as charged?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>To which the lying scum lawyer wannabe (opps, sorry, bit of redundency there) MrSpkr responded: Of course not. It just means good lawyers, silly woman!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Let's clear the record shall we? Seanachai was adjudged GUILTY AS SIN ... and while the punishment may have been felt less than warranted by the charges ... GUILTY HE IS.

Now on this incarnation of the thread ... Blllleeeeccccchhhhhhh ... I've seen better titles at the Department of Motor Vehicles registration line. As to the content, I really did doubt that ANYONE would be capable of posting 4 pages of drivel worse than the "Great Turn Numbering Debate" ... I was wrong.

For those of you awaiting turns ... deal with it, I'll get to them ... when I get to them. I am currently savoring the victory of JUSTICE as typified by the righteous prosecution of heresy on the part of Seanachai.

Joe

[Lawyer]

Mace

That Puff Boy looks disturbingly like you. And you are very disturbing.

Seanachai

How 'bout sending a turn, YOU GIT!

Elvis

It was cute until it became an obsession.

The rest of you are just sick, sick stains on the bicycle seat of life.

[Mark IV]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:
Mark4 another follower. Sad. I thought you at least had a mind of your own.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Huh, me? Hell no, this is a rental mind. You don't think I'd bring my own mind into a place like this! It's in the shop, having the Deadmarsh filter replaced.

The subtle, inescapable irony of your replacing "IV" with "4" can't even be missed by this old clunker, though. I know that to you, I'm just mark.zip, and I appreciate the gesture. Yer a helluva Namerican.

[Mace]

[ <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:
What concerns me, Mace, is that you actively sought out that page of fop-boy.

Or is it one of your favourites?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No, I didn't seek out that particular URL, it was provided by a fellow CMer who will remain nameless.

I thought that since we were discussing those that were obviously dealt a short hand in life (Curry, Peter Pan, yourself, and almost everyone else here), I'd contribute this one as well, and better yet, associate it with one of the cesspoolers as per Rule 79879.XX.alpha) Taunting though association.

I hope that's cleared up any concerns you had, Stuka.

I might add that these two gentlemen are actually products of the USA. Lawyer also is from the USA. Given Lawyer's healthy Ego and flair for dress style, I wouldn't be surprised if there is a blood-relationship between all 3 of them!

Mace

[Goanna]

Fear not Elvis, the blood hamster will be set up on or after my arrival back to Sydney. I realise my post had several numbers in it, but even you should be able to sort out that it takes a short while to travel from Oman to Australia.

IF any or all of those mentioned in my proposal for the setup of the Blood Hamster could sort out some of the details, I will be in contact immediately after my arrival on the 26th (that's Thursday to the numerically challenged).

[mensch]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:
Forget your Blood Hamster Elvira, what is of greater concern is our game.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

awww.. crap.. and me printing out T-shirts and posters everywhere!!! you nob!! I'm sending you my invoice for all the stuff.. and I think Krombacher is going to be pissed off your pulled out of the BLOODHAMSTER MATCH!!

and such a campaign too!!! millions spent!! minutes of work gone!!

http://www.derkessel.de/images/other/bloodhamstermatch.jpg

[Geier]

I just want to let all of you know that I will be starting up a new business and am going to make gobs of cash by providing the likes of Scipio, tero and Colonel Deadmarsh with what they really want (http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=1&t=020513&p=2). Please see the link for my design doc.

I am going to be really really rich.

[Stuka]

Send me a case of that beer Menschywurst and I'll be your friend.

No, really I will, I mean it this time.

Just because those other times I drank all your beer, smoked your stash, kicked your cat and crashed your wifes car on the way to the reeperbahn doesn't mean I'm not prepared to forgive you for something you may or may not have done once and will offer you the dove of peace as long as there is a case of beer in it for me.

You can't say fairer than that.

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:
How isthe construction of my Blood Hamster match with Lizardboy going? I haven't heard a word since I agreed.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Step two involves you and Goanna deciding who will play the Allies and who the Axis...

[PeterNZer]

MENSCH are you out of your mind offering KROMBACHER to this scum!?!
They all deserve HANSA or even Binding Export at the best!
Lindan

[mensch]

Hey Krombacher is the sponser of this bloodhamster.. this does not mean they get any!!! for the rest of us.. sure.. but the nobs playing.. feh.. give them cess water.

[Elvis]

I will chose the Allies. I am sure Lizardboy will have no problem with this. He seems to prefer being German in his games against me.

Now back to the issue that is really important to me. The useless numbering of files.
First, my issue is not that I can't number or figure out the system you use. I understand the systems perfectly well. I just don't understand why there needs to be a system. My issues are with cluttered PBEM files and having to spend time deleting the files every week or two. Files that don't need to be there in the first place.
Mr. 5308 if it nessesary for you to number files in order for your PBEM program to work then you are the first person to provide a good reason for numbering (however if it was me I would check out the one that Hiram/Phillygirl used because that wasn't needed so it might be a better program). Aside from that not a single one of you can provide a single good reason for the cluttering so I am going to assume you are all in agreement with me and my logic finally got through your numb skulls. This issue will never die with me.

[Mark IV]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lindan:
MENSCH are you out of your mind offering KROMBACHER to this scum!?!
They all deserve HANSA or even Binding Export at the best!
Lindan<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Besser als Henninger. I drank plenty of Binding during my servitude in F.a.M., though I held out for Licher Pils when I could get it. That was before the apfelwein kick...

The Outer Board has finally gone stark raving mad, and this is the only safe place to be. We will hide your bier in our kellers for you, until this all blows over.

True to form, Wildman has stuck me with the frogs in a shooting gallery. He must be taught that tanks die too quickly in CM!

Allons!

[Elvis]

Oh yeah I almost forgot.
Wildman has the strongest grasp on my dementia.

[mensch]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:
I drank plenty of Binding during my servitude in F.a.M.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Female Alcoholics Madhouse?

ooo-k that explains a few things.

bye bye now.

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Now back to the issue that is really important to me. The useless numbering of files.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now back to the issue that is really important to me. The useless numbering of files issue is ... well ... useless to me. I will NEVER play Elvis if there is a benevolent God and if there isn't then I STILL won't play him because I won't play ANYONE who is as anal and compulsive about such a stupid issue. Since Elvis seems to be the only one who actually cares one way or the other ... I'm safe. Elvis, remember lad, the first step is admitting that you have a problem.

Joe

[Berlichtingen]

Ok, Elvis, you want a good reason for numbering the files? 'cus that is what I do, and I ain't gonna change what I d for the likes of you

[**YK2**]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:


So,Emma, you didn't take a look at his 'how to pick up chicks' video then?

I did, and one question comes to mind: is that nasty chest rash of his causing him some grief?

Now from one extreme to the other, here is another Bright spark (http://www.pixyland.org/peterpan/petersFashionPage.html), no doubt a CMer keen in trying out a few new uniform mods.

Mace<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL now that's what I call funny, I love the way he pays so much attention to the little details, matching socks, sooooooooooo sickly cute.
His daywear has got to be the best though, I mean can you just imagine walking down the street and bumping into this guy???
Rofllllllllllllll hysterical this is soooooooo so funny, and now the question is can anyone top this?
I am totally hooked and ready for more.

Now I am off to mail Peter and suggest a little matching eye shadow and a touch of lip gloss would do wonders for him.

[Moriarty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Step two involves you and Goanna deciding who will play the Allies and who the Axis...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh, for a minute I thought you said the French and the Germans.

[DekeFentle]

Hey joey you SUCK you prepubescent puss pile, your incessant ramblings are tiresome in the extreme. All we ever see in your posts is "I'm not gonna play this guy or that guy or anyone, I am a mighty Kinniget and as such am worthless"

Do you actually play the game or do you just come here to demonstrate your gross ineptitude at the suggestion of some shyster of a shrink? Begone with you laddy, your despotic drivel is falling on deaf ears. For Christ sake Croda plays more and is undoubtedly better than you.

The file numbering debate is graduate level education and headliner entertainment compared to your paltry offerings of offal. Show some grit son, post an update or two, but first you'll actually have to start a gam. If you ask real nice I'm sure some scum-deprived newbie will show you how. (Deprived because as I have proven in the past there are no SSN's because joey has SUCKED the place clean.)

Mace and I have gotten past the setup phase and troops are actually moving.

Leo is about to pay for bringing his armor out early.

Agua actually sent TWO turns!!! The shock from this probably caused me to screw something up. Undoubtedly this is part of his evil plan.

Speedbump I seem to recall some time ago you invited me to the field of dishonor. If this invitation is still good I have a setup I will send when you say the word.

When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor.

[Agua Perdido]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by DekeFentle:
Agua actually sent TWO turns!!! The shock from this probably caused me to screw something up. Undoubtedly this is part of his evil plan.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, careful planning was getting me nowhere. I can get just as nowhere much more quickly by thinking much less. It's fun to click the mouse and stuff.

Speaking of which, check your inbox and then SEND ME A FECKIN' TURN!.

(Killing and dying in other games, too, hate you all, especially the innummerate Elvis, whose monomaniacal, tedious rants are becoming reminiscent of PanzerLeader's early days.)

Agua Perdido

[mensch]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by DekeFentle:
blather... sputter.. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

who the hell is letting in more cockroaches!! jeezusmurphy!! they are breeding!!!

I only can blame senachaimon for this fiasco!!

where's peng?? did he drink the bugspray again??

[DekeFentle]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch:
Viscous vomit <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You done spasming on your key board for the day Menschykin? Perhaps you could challenge SUCKboy to a duel?

When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor.

[DekeFentle]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Agua Perdido:


Speaking of which, check your inbox and then SEND ME A FECKIN' TURN!.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Turn sent 5 min ago where the hells the turn around? Just click GO you're doing fine.

When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor.

[Speedbump]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by DekeFentle:
Speedbump I seem to recall some time ago you invited me to the field of dishonor. If this invitation is still good I have a setup I will send when you say the word.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You Sir, and I use the term extremely loosely, search trash cans for tidbits and snacks, you feeble-minded, mud sucking, hamster abusing, chemically-based cub of Lassie. I await your feeble attempt at honorable battle.

Derisively,

Speedbump

[mensch]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by DekeFentle:
Perhaps you could challenge SUCK boy to a duel?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

you should not be so hard on your self.. SUCKboy indeed! I tell you these cockroaches are nattery...

*stomp*

and crunchy too.

[DekeFentle]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch:


you should not be so hard on your self.. SUCKboy indeed! I tell you these cockroaches are nattery...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Follow along mush mind. joey is SUCKboy. This is very apparent to everyone else, so your problem must be Alzheimer's or is it unadulterated stupidity?

When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor.

[Elvis]

DekeFentle...mensh...can we please get back to talking about numbering turns.

[**YK2**]

#1 don't forget to # your turns.
#2 remember #1 at all times.
#3 Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
#4 stop playing silly buggers on the thread.
#5 Go to bed at a reasonable time.
#6 Always follow your own advice.
#7 The first sign of madness is talking to
yourself.
#8 Does that mean the second sign is
answering yourself?
#9 See #4
#10 See #5

Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn......

[David Aitken]

I hereby propose that we refer to each other exclusively by member #, thus driving #159 insane and possibly snapping him out of his neurosis (I couldn't be bothered looking up 'neurosis' to check whether it means what I think it means, so kindly assume it to mean what I want it to mean, and if you don't know what I want it to mean, then you bloody well should.)

Edited because I got the '9' in #159's name the wrong way up.

[ 07-24-2001: Message edited by: #1222 ]

Edited to correct the mention of someone called "David Aitken".

[ 07-24-2001: Message edited by: David Aitken ]

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:
DekeFentle...mensh...can we please get back to talking about numbering turns.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


I'm for one glad, Elvis, that you weren't around when someone decided counting would be a good idea!

Follow my logic - no counting => no basic mathematics => no advanced mathematics => no physical sciences => no simulation => no programming => no CMBO.

Now, if you had gotten your dirty little mitts on counting we would now be banging you repeatedly on the head with our wooden clubs while lounging about in our caves and conversing through a series of GRUNTING noises.

Mace

[Geier]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:
Edited because I got the '9' in #159's name the wrong way up.
[ 07-24-2001: Message edited by: David Aitken ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Oh you clever person. I was about to point out your mistake but you beat me to it. I demand that you change back to the wrong number and that #159 shall hereafter be known as Durutti. Feels like the right thing to do.

I also propose that everyone here sends him copies of their numbered turns from all their games.

Additionally I want all of you to know that I'm not responsible for my actions right now as I'm working on a mod. It feels important.

[Elvis]

Mace and Aitkin you both miss the point completely and have proven yourselves idiots again. Not only do I love numbers (my father is a mathematician.... no he really is a college professor) so it isn't the numbers you slackjaws.

[David Aitken]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>#1510 wrote:
I'm working on a mod.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I hope it isn't a blood-and-gore bitmap for the infantry, or I may have to despatch a commando team to shoot you and dissolve your carcasse in acid, and then round up your family and friends and anyone who knows you or acknowledges your existence and lock them away, in case the unwashed masses hear the slightest suggestion of a voice dissenting with my conviction that CM is totally perfect as-is. I wouldn't want to let #1670 down, now would I?

[**YK2**]

I wish #159 hadn't started all this bloody # thing cos now look what's happening even #1222 is talking #'s and we all know what that means, Once #1222 decides to go into # mode that spells trouble, I mean lets face it if #1222 really puts his mind to it then he could even make #159's neurosis look like something #2110 ate for breakfast, now if all this # business is pissing you off then I suggest you report to #1302 or #1019 who will promptly put #3482 in her place by telling #3482 that the Peng Thread is not here for such frivolity, failing that, #1507 will know just how to keep #3482 in hand.

[Lawyer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:
Mace and Aitkin you both miss the point completely and have proven yourselves idiots again. Not only do I love numbers (my father is a mathematician.... no he really is a college professor) so it isn't the numbers you slackjaws.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'll bet you don't mind talking numbers when it comes time to put suckers in an overpriced car with 16 hidden "extras".

[David Aitken]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Elvis wrote:
Not only do I love numbers (my father is a mathematician.... no he really is a college professor) so it isn't the numbers you slackjaws.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Maybe so, but you do seem to have lost a grasp of basic English sentence structure. Probably suppressed trauma. You want to love the numbers, but the numbers just let you hang on without returning your affection, and eventually you never hear from them again, and you're left wondering what the f*** they think they are doing with your head, and why the f*** they think they can get away with that while all the time swearing blind that they're not doing what it's patently obviously that they are.

Sorry, what was I talking about?

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:
DekeFentle...mensh...can we please get back to talking about numbering turns.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Such narrow minded focus on a trivial, uninteresting, and unimportant side note to the game.

Ar you sure you're not Rexford in disguise?

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:
Maybe so, but you do seem to have lost a grasp of basic English sentence structure. Probably suppressed trauma. You want to love the numbers, but the numbers just let you hang on without returning your affection, and eventually you never hear from them again, and you're left wondering what the f*** they think they are doing with your head, and why the f*** they think they can get away with that while all the time swearing blind that they're not doing what it's patently obviously that they are.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Perhaps Elvis was traumatised by numbers as a child?

We really need to help him with his psychosis!

Mace

[Hangover]

This taunt in binary, just for Elvis:

01000110 01100101 01100001 01110010 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100011 01101111 01110101 01100100 01110100 00101110 00100000 00100000 01010111 01100001 01100100 01101001 01100101 01110010 00101110

[Panzer Leader]

Emergency!

Boys (and girls -- I mean you MrsPkr and you too Shandorf) I am about to do the unthinkable -- REFORMAT THE HARD DRIVE!!

Arggh.

I've been having difficulties of late and I think it is a Windows error. Plus my HD is about full, so I might as well start over. Wish me luck and I hope to resurface unscathed soon...

[ 07-24-2001: Message edited by: Panzer Leader ]

[Joe Shaw]

It is of course true that the CessPool is the place for taunting, insults, bile and spleen, but some have come to believe that just tossing out names is good enough. Far from it. The ART of taunting is that which makes the point in a humorous, a witty manner and which has value all of its own. Some here are masters of that ART, among them (in no particular order and with no intent to leave anyone out) Agua Perdido, OGSF, Peng, MrSpkr, Lawyer, jd and Berli. Feel free to be insulted if your name wasn't listed, but remember that I don't care enough to go through the whole roster. These and others here are not limited to mere name calling, but craft their taunts and insults with literary references and clever wordplay.

Alas that ALL within are not so gifted. GeekFender is not the first to be so challenged, but he is apparently intent upon mine own good self, for what reason I've yet to determine. Does he wish a game? He has said he does not. Does he wish to become my squire? He has a strange way of going about it. Does he wish to emulate me? He has MANY lessons to learn first. Or is it just that he is offended by my posts? Now that WOULD be a pity wouldn't it. So let us examine this poor specimin and see if we can untangle this mystery.

GeekFender is commonly known as DekeFentle, but in accordance with established CessPool procedures his name is NOT bolded nor is his name to be spelled properly until he becomes a squire. I find it telling that he has posted here at some length and for some time (off and on) but has yet to find a sponsor ... one can readily understand THAT I believe. His member number is 4766 and he has posted a grand total of 107 times ... oh and he's from ... wait for it ... Minnesota. Who ELSE lives in Minnesota? That's right, the Knight formerly known as he who shall not be bolded. That, regrettably, is the ONLY thing they have in common as Seanachai is perhaps the foremost authority on the proper FORM of taunting ... though I think I can say that he doesn't actually DO it very often, interesting dichotomy. But I digress, GeekFender is a Computer Geek, I don't hold that against him, many here use computers professionally and obviously ALL use one for CM.

Let us now examine one of the latest of his posts for more clues, I regret the necessity of inflicting his nonsense upon the MBT AGAIN, but NO PAIN, NO GAIN.
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Hey joey you SUCK you prepubescent puss pile,<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> And here we see the sad attempt made by GeekFender. The repititious and boring You Suck Dude! approach and the tiresome alliterative prepubescent puss pile ... no doubt he is STILL giggling over THAT rib tickler. Those without wit must use tricks I suppose. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>your incessant ramblings are tiresome in the extreme.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ah but you see, I've been here long enough to have EARNED the right to be tiresome, you, on the other hand, wander in and out and expect to be taken seriously because you are "The Whuppin' Boy" . <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> All we ever see in your posts is "I'm not gonna play this guy or that guy or anyone, I am a mighty Kinniget and as such am worthless"<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Indeed? And when have I categorically refused to play anyone OTHER THAN YOURSELF? Is that what rankles you so? As to Elvis, if I choose to play him or not is none of YOUR concern. I AM a Knight of the CessPool, and indeed a Seniour Knight, earned by my presence and efforts within ... what have you EARNED ... Whuppin' Boy? <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Do you actually play the game or do you just come here to demonstrate your gross ineptitude at the suggestion of some shyster of a shrink?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> There are Knights who do NOT play CM with other Knights. Why? Because CM is merely the vehicle for our taunting, not the be all and end all of the CessPool. But to answer your question, I currently have nine CM matches with CessPool members, all of whom I've CHOSEN to play based upon the fact that they are FUN opponents with whom I enjoy trading turns and emails. I do NOT play everyone in the CessPool because not everyone is FUN. And why, pray tell, would a Shyster suggest that I come here for any reason? A Shrink might make some sense, but a shyster? Please be sure you know what you're blathering about before you post, it makes you look ill informed. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Begone with you laddy, your despotic drivel is falling on deaf ears.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Apparently not, it's obviously gotten YOUR attention, not that you are exactly my target audience. But in any case, I repeat, I've paid my dues, what have YOU done except post fatuous insults? <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>For Christ sake Croda plays more and is undoubtedly better than you.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ah, so you pride yourself on your ABILITY to play CM then? Well, since you can't taunt I suppose you must have something to prop up your fragile ego ... "Whuppin' Boy". In case you have missed it, I'd remind you that competency at CM means NOTHING in the CessPool, if you'd show up more than once a month you might understand that. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>The file numbering debate is graduate level education and headliner
entertainment compared to your paltry offerings of offal.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now you really MUST make up your mind. Are my offerings paltry or are they incessant, you can't have it both ways. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Show some grit son, post an update or two, but first you'll actually have to start a gam.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well ... SON ... I post updates when and if I choose, if you care to review the history of the CessPool you'll find innumerable updates from me, but in any case ... why do YOU care? <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>If you ask real nice I'm sure some scum-deprived newbie will show you how.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I don't play with SSNs unless I CHOOSE to play with them. Nor do I play ANYONE unless I think I'll enjoy the process, it is, after all, MY choice. This isn't some ladder or Grog dominated club where everyone HAS to compete, we play CM for FUN. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> (Deprived because as I have proven in the past there are no SSN's because joey has SUCKED the place clean.)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Ah and there he's done it again, used that awfully clever Suck word ... boy I wish I had the literary ability of ... "The Whuppin' Boy". <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Oh ... please. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Winning is why we play!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Uh, NO, actually it isn't, FUN is why we play. If you really are one of those who can't stand to lose then this isn't the place for you ... and trust me ... it isn't.

Okay, that's YOUR cue to come back and say something terribly witty and clever like ... give me a moment ... You Suck joey. Yes, that should do nicely for you.

Joe

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Now you really MUST make up your mind. Are my offerings paltry or are they incessant, you can't have it both ways. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


Why can't he?

we all have to put up with your paltry AND incessant drivel - why shouldn't he??

[imported_Wildman]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:
Wildman has the strongest grasp on my dementia.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'm not sure whether to be horrified that I have somehow jumped into Elvis' mind, ala that movie about John Malcavic's head; or charge him the $300 rate most shrink require.

Either way I must go shower as the mere thought of understanding Elvis is most disheartening.

I shall consider sending you a setup to erase the blot on my memory.

[DekeFentle]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

SUCKING noises and pompous tripe
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
joey I am The Whuppin' Boy I wear the title given to me by Lorak with dispassionate disdain. I have NO desire to become a squire nor to be recognized by intestinal leavings like you.

I point out your obvious shortcomings and droll discourse mainly because you're such an easy target. I guess I've struck a cord based on the length and effort you put into your response. Hell of a way to "not recognize" someone.

As for saying I have no desire to contest with you on the pixeled battle ground, I don't recall penning that but there are a lot of unimportant things I let slip. I am always willing to take up the gauntlet. I fear the lack of challenge you would provide might bore me past my normal stuper, however if you feel the need "Cry havoc! and let slip the dogs of war!"

As for the simplistic joey SUCKS routine, I found it the most expedient way to describe a simpleton. I find you just NOT worth the effort. Once long ago I attempted to engage you in "PENGian" style and your replies were so lacking in anything close to "wit" or the "ART of the taunt" that I felt you deserved no more than a child like, you SUCK from time to time.

As you have made such a tremendous effort to enumerate your ignorant, insufferable inadequacies I shall grace you with…

joey you SUCK swine genitalia in hell. There now, feel better SUCKboy?

When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor.

[Stuka]

Well, its 10.40AM here now and I have just cracked my first beer for the day while awaiting the return of Elvis from a little dinner swarae[SP?] he is attending in order to get my first ever TCP/IP game under way.

While waiting for that I will recount for you lucky listeners an observation made this morning.

I have discovered the vagueries of driving one handed are no obstacle to a man in search of a case of beer and even better than that....my, my, wasn't the little lass at the liquor barn just falling over herself to assist me in my purchase.
Nothing softens the heart of a young pretty more than a well dressed, handsome man with his arm in a sling.
Oh yes, I was bombarded with questions.

"How did you hurt your arm?" She fluttered.

"Dirt bike" I half smiled/half grimaced back, fighting my way through the pain barrier. (or so she imagined)

"At least youv'e still got one arm left for drinking" She giggled.

*Silly thing to say but the poor things heart was obviously racing and it was the best she could come up with*

Anyhoos, the moral of the story is, if you can't be arsed carrying your own beer and would rather the attendant pick it up off the pallet, carry it to the counter and then to your car for you, just slip your arm in a sling.

It works a treat!

C'mon Elvis!, I'ma gitt'in bored here.
C'mon an' whup me good boy. It's my cherry TCP/IP and your 20 gazillionith, so I'm sure theres plenty of gamey little tricks you and Peng have cooked up between yourselves, so stick that last piece of pie in your hole and move it!

[David Aitken]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Stuka wrote:
*Silly thing to say but the poor things heart was obviously racing and it was the best she could come up with*<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I think she meant to say "wanking", but corrected herself when she remembered that lowlifes like you keep her in a job.

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:
Anyhoos, the moral of the story is, if you can't be arsed carrying your own beer and would rather the attendant pick it up off the pallet, carry it to the counter and then to your car for you, just slip your arm in a sling.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I just can't see it working with the blokes at my local drive-through bottle-shop.

Mace

[Mace]

btw, in the name of the Holy thesaurus of Seanachai, will our recent allotment of scum, SSNs and recently indocrinated Kannigits please submit their photos to Lorak for posting to the royal records.

Mace

[Elvis]

David...perhaps English was not studied in my childhood home as much as math..does that make me a freak!!!

Wildman ..go ahead send me a setup..just rmemeber not to number.

Emma You have always been sweet and funny and nice and I would number a game with you.

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:
David...perhaps English was not studied in my childhood home as much as math..does that make me a freak!!!
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No, not at all.

What makes you a freak is that you are a freak.

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>btw, in the name of the Holy thesaurus of Seanachai, will our recent allotment of scum, SSNs and recently indocrinated Kannigits please submit their photos to Lorak for posting to the royal records.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Mace, what in the HELL is the matter with you? Opps, sorry, I think the lawyers would call that "asked and answered". Why, pray tell Oh Great Ozzie Goof, would we want the photos of SSNs on the pages reserved for Knights and Squires?

You want to be careful there MATE, you may be the next one in the sights of The Prosecutor and Protector of The One The True CessPool.

Joe

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
[i]You want to be careful there MATE, you may be the next one in the sights of The Prosecutor and Protector of The One The True CessPool.[/QB]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
No one expects the 'Poolian Inquisition!

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>No one expects the 'Poolian Inquisition!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Our chief weapon is Surprise ... Surprise and ...

Joe

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Our chief weapon is Surprise ... Surprise and ...
Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

inappropriate touching!

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>inappropriate touching!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Right, Our TWO weapons are Surprise and Innapropriate Touching ... and ...

Joe

[imported_Wildman]

the stench...

[Seanachai]

People of the Peng Challenge, I come before you tonight a man much puzzled, much tried, a man, in a word, with much on his mind. Now, for many of you I know that last is a state you will never achieve. You will never suffer the stress of a multitude of thoughts competing for your attention, nor the viscitudes of having to weigh one thought against another, as the scale of your intellect has only one arm, and 'mental balance' means to many of you 'thinking very hard about the best way to walk home dead drunk without falling over'.

Now, since my all but complete exoneration by that pillar of the Peng Challenge Community, the Brehon judge, Lorak the Loathed, I have felt pride over my vindication, and yet have heard the rumblings of doubt from amongst the folk.

These rumblings have touched my consciousness. I am a sensitive man. And I am a man with a sense of duty. For my part in the Peng Challenge, I look upon most of you as the children I was never given the responsibility for of drowning at birth. And I feel that responsibility keenly.

So, I have spent many an evening, lately, reviewing my actions towards all of you, and my duties within the glory that is the Peng Challenge Thread. My doubts and self analysis have been spurred on by a recent encounter on the Outer Boards, where a great many utterly useless ****es were debating a topic that you'd have thought even a goddamn hyaena wouldn't have the stomach to return to for another nibble, and I latched upon a lad whose views I thought vulgar and vulnerable, and proceeded to lash him about the head and shoulders with my swagger stick (Good Christ, Bauhaus, don't just sit down, crawl under the desk, you monster! That's simply not on, nor what I meant at all, and not even possible, you troubled little toad!)

His name among us on the forum is R_Leet. Yes, I know it's an awful, useless monicker. But the point I wish to make is, that he was a right good lad, and emailed me to point out what a vicious old bastard I'd been, and to point out the fact that we were, in fact, in complete agreeement. And he did it in such a very nice way, that it was more hideously effective than if he'd called me horrible names, thrown battery acid on me at a picnic, and spat upon me in front of reporters.

Besides filling me with a desire to find out where he lived and have a go at sniping at him and any available family members through unshaded windows, he made me re-evaluate my actions concerning inviting Grogs, even if a very specific and acceptable group of Grogs, on to this sceptered pool of Cess. Because he was an Outer Boarder, you see, and such a jolly nice fellow.

And I still maintain that what I did was right, and just, and I would do it again. But one thing was said, that needs addressing. And it is a statement by Shaw:

for Seanachai would understand, that the CessPool is a community and NOT a dictatorship ruled by any one person.

And Joe, Old Foul Joe, is completely correct. And I apply his logic to my own actions, when, in an anarchistic moment of bonhommie, or, perhaps, a fit of dictatorial and vulgar heresy, or, as some would maintain, a fit of drunkness bordering on the danger of aspirating vomit, I made my way to the Winecape 'Invitational Tournament of Stars', and invited in the Grogs and Tournament players.

Who shall judge?

A moment of personal dictatorship, where one man strode forward (tripping and singing a bit under his breath), and cast aside traditions and rules in order to invite Grogs and Tournament Players into the Mother Beautiful Thread? The desires of all other members cast aside in a furious moment of personal hubris and megalomania?

Or, perhaps, a moment of glorious freedom and high jest, when an unkempt, white-haired, half-mad dwarf (tripping and singing a bit under his breath), wandered into a Grog Tournament, and, spinning wildly in a circle and laughing, exclaimed 'everyone welcome! Come in, come in, the party is about to begin! Hurry, hurry, bring a thunderstorm, the barometer is falling!'

Or just a sad, aging drunk (tripping and singing a bit under his breath), stumbling into a gathering of people focused on serious business, and mumbling half understood promises of status in an outlaw gathering of questionable ancestry to those most likely to smile politely and laugh dismissively while phoning the police?

But Shaw, Joe Shaw, has led me to these questions. Because, although he is pompous, and a pontificator, and in danger of pointing out one too many times the mote in another's eye, yet he is a True Friend of the Peng Challenge Thread.

And so, I shall make my obesience, and I shall do a bit of the scrape and bow, and I shall, this night, go before Peng, Father Confessor of the Peng Challenge Thread, and I shall tell him what was truly in my heart when I went to the Winecape 'Invitational Tournament of Stars', and invited in the Tournament Grogs.

And, having been Accused by Shaw, Reviled by all, Judged by Lorak, and Confessed to Peng (Lorak, mark it! A new distinction that must be added to the roster: Confessed to Peng!), I know that ultimately, my journey with Peng and Berli into the Wasteland, half mad, mostly drunk, and vulgar in the way that only the truly noble can be vulgar, will lead me to the fate that I deserve.

I'm almost certain this means an eternity of scenarios designed by Berli, Rune, and Goanna, played against all of you.

By Berli's Gut, May the Ale Hold Out, Bring It On!

And when that lad, R_Leet shows up, the bastard's mine. Such a nice young fellow. I'm almost certain Berli told me you need at least six Squires to get a corner office in the Abyss. Hmm, Hiram, Panzer Leader, Mr Spkr, and...R_Leet. I wonder if I can get extra credit for Panzer Leader. The lad's been a trial to me, and no mistake. But he's a good lad. Not very bright, but a good lad, nevertheless.

[Elvis]

Seanachai, can't you make your posts shorter? I can't read all that gibberish..perhaps if you numbered it.

[MrSpkr]

Speedbump: (pointing at Seanachai "What's he rambling about?"

MrSpkr: (listening for a moment . . . almost falling asleep . . . snapping back to reality) "Oh GREAT -- he's been drinking again. Now he's gonna get drawn up on charges and . . . need . . . legal assistance . . .KA-CHING!

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Right, Our TWO weapons are Surprise and Innapropriate Touching ... and ...
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

the drivel!

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:
Seanachai, can't you make your posts shorter? I can't read all that gibberish..perhaps if you numbered it.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

In which Seanachai reveals to Elvis that they should play another game; that, through Peng, they are brothers under the skin; and that Elvis is a silly little bastard that Seanachai still likes...


Ah, Elvis. Our newest positive contributor to the gene pool (well, here's hoping, and you do live on the East Coast, so there are doubts to be raised), I have, perhaps of late, been unfair to you.

By that I mean that your almost spectacular fixation with this 'numbering' business.

Now, while every post you've made lately has clearly labeled you a Useless Male, who has realized that, having produced an heir, and hopefully Insured his own financial lack of existence to the maximum extent possible under American Law in order to guarantee the continuation of his family/genetic material (such as it is; we hold out hopes for viability of the wife), we know that you are confronting your own uselessness, lad, and redundancy, and the angst that attends your realization that after the children teeth, your only purpose is as bread winner, and the family could be better served by a sudden, untraceable accident and a rather spectacular insurance policy.

But, Elvis, that wouldn't address your value to the Peng Challenge Thread. Besides the fact that you keep Peng somewhat focused on something that vaguely looks like Reality, you have your own, 'heart of a clown' uses.

I think, rather than wonder whether your wife will convince you to do 'The Right Thing For the Family', I'd just as soon see a set up from you.

Give yourself every advantage, you redundant male. It doesn't matter that you won our last game. We just want you to feel valuable again, and stop this horrible numeration rant, which clearly reveals your fears about being just another entry into an acturial table.

You poor, poor, frightened bastard. I'd rather have my heart pulled out through my own arsehole than deal with the zen like longing for non-existance that your anti-numeracy posts are revealing.

I'd love to leave some mark on the universe, while, in the wake of fatherhood, you're doing some weird, Hitlerite rap on 'No Clutter! No Files! No Trace of Passage!'

ELVIS! Revered Peng Childhood Friend (you pillock)!

Do you know, lad, that I've just bought a huge, powerful, and astonishing Hard Drive? And do you know why? Because I want room to store every numbered turn in my games. And, when I archive them, I burn every single match on to CD.

I'll show our game to your son.

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>For you see, Lads, I first posted: Right, Our TWO weapons are Surprise and Innapropriate Touching ... and ...

But then ... oh the EVIL of it ... Trotsky's Harpsicord DARED to reply:
the drivel!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Fellow CessPudlians, are we to stand idly by while the works of the immortal Monty Python are called {shudder} DRIVEL!

Joe

[OGSF]

Eh?

*scratch*

*poot*

[imported_Wildman]

Seanachai,

Such rumination should be reserved for wintertime in the land up North. When the wind has a bite to it and leaving flesh uncovered leads quickly to frostbite. Then and only then should you sit back with a nice warm brandy and think on such heady topics.

It all would have worked out if you had only told us that you "feel our pain." Then your approval rating would rise and all would be forgiven. In reality the only reason the wrath of Shaw was delivered unto your poor besotted head was fear. You see you offered the winner a status equal to his own. Such prominance to an unknown could not and was not tolerated.

That is not to say that exceptions will not be recognized. I'm quite sure that if we could get Steve to post here he would be granted status equal to an Old One, for his masterful disertations on a wide variey of subjects.

---
Updates:

MrSpkrand I have resumed this bloody computer-picked game. Let me tell you trying to assault a town with five Hellcats and only 81mm FOs is a bit of a stretch, but I have prevailed and he is Right out!

JDMorse has asked for a ceasefire in our "Move it or Lost it". I have denied that as I'm about to capture a bridge and the briefing said that would be impossible. I hate to continue killing his pixelated soldiers but follow-thru is follow-thru.

Sir Speedy is dying in droves, but he killed one of my Panthers. That upsets me. Expect my answer delivered upon a 120mm shell...shortly!

Marlow obviously has cracked the sourse as a lone PZIv who three turns ago, crest a hill fired one shot, looked at the three Shermans facing it and ran away. This turn it crested the hill took three shot and killed three Sherman's. Marlowis obviously cheating and its sad to see my former sponser sink so low.

I have decided, that since I seem to be understanding Elvis that I will start killing him. I would like one of our esteemed...well, fellow kaniggets to develop a balanced map and forces to send to me. Doesn't matter historical or non-historical. I will forgo the use of numbering with Elvis as I understand the ravages of Sleep-Deprivation and the fact that he has a minimum of six-weeks with no "Slap & Tickle" not counting the last three months of denial!

Seanachai, I have still considering destroying you just because the Air Force has once again sent me to North Dakota and that is WAAAYYY to close to a living you. Enjoy these last few days, for when I come for you it won't be pretty!

[Stuka]

Well, my first TCP/IP blooding has been rather, er... bloody.

Until internet connection dramas forced the cessation of hostilities, El Virus and I managed a good 6 or 7 turns. (who counts anymore these days eh?)

So, with 1 or perhaps 2 more turns to go it would appear that the undefeatable Evita, the multiple spanker of Peng, is going to cop a knee to the cobblers and a chew on the ear ala 'Tyson', and be humbled in defeat.

True, he has forced my lines in the centre position and taken out my last H/T, but in true Stuken style, that plucky little H/T was out of MG ammo, out of HE and down to 2 rounds of AP before succumbing to steenky French fire.

What was of greater interest was on the flanks.

One: A 3 squad French frontal assault on an unsupported HMG was cut down to a man, the last squad making it to within 2 metres before being wiped out. Now thats a HMG!
BTS, do not fix or do anyfink!

Two: An Elvin attack on my right flank, fighting forwards for several turns through a sea of craters and rubble, finally makes its final rush for my lines, and then, as if swept by a wave of Stalinist depression, they all fall down dead. At least 5 or 6 squads, many possibly low in number, are left lying pitifully in the snow. The jubulant defenders, many low on ammo, can be justifiably proud as the remainder of that attack start surrendering and moving forwards through the barbed wire towards incarceration.

Ah yes, a great day indeed!

Many thanks to Elvis for breaking me in gently and introducing me to the world of TCP/IP.

May he wake in the morrow to find the shattered remnants of his Baguette Brigade and long may he mourn their loss, for they were all "Wankers" anyway.

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:
People of the Peng Challenge, I come before you tonight a man much puzzled...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
A state which we are well aquainted with you being in. You could have left this bit out and thus shortened your lengthy and tedious post.
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Now, since my all but complete exoneration by that pillar of the Peng Challenge Community, the Brehon judge, Lorak the Loathed...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
But not by me. Lorak, in a fit of drunkeness, has decided to show mercy in this word, but remember, you won't live forever...
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Good Christ, Bauhaus, don't just sit down, crawl under the desk, you monster! That's simply not on, nor what I meant at all, and not even possible, you troubled little toad!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Nasty little cur, isn't he?
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> And it is a statement by Shaw:

for Seanachai would understand, that the CessPool is a community and NOT a dictatorship ruled by any one person.

And Joe, Old Foul Joe, is completely correct.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
No, Joe is completely wrong. We are not a community (which impliesa certain level of social tolerence), nor are we some sort of limp wristed democracy (if we were, this might become the George Bush Jr Challenge Thread).
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>And I apply his (Joe's for those of you not following along) logic to my own actions...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Oh lovely, the Dim leading the Daft... this should be interesting
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Who shall judge?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
You really need to ask?
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>you need at least six Squires to get a corner office in the Abyss. Hmm, Hiram, Panzer Leader, Mr Spkr, and...R_Leet. I wonder if I can get extra credit for Panzer Leader. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Six WORTHY squires. By my count you have had one (MrSpkr), and with him you failed to point out that he is not Welsh and as such should use vowels.

Carry on, you will rot in Hell soon enough

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
But then ... oh the EVIL of it ... Trotsky's Harpsicord DARED to reply:
the drivel!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
While I can fully understand your righteous indignation, I must take acception to you infering that I had anything to do with his post

[mensch]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by DekeFentle:

joey I am The Whuppin' Boy I wear the title given to me by Lorak with dispassionate disdain.

[the rest of his drivel removed for your sanity] <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Your still a cockroach to me.. bug boy.

[PeterNZer]

I didn't get you last 20 posts. Please resend.

[stevetherat]

(Ahem) An update, of sorts, if you will.

My computer is still broken. I am forced into writing all of my e-corespondents on the machines of my clients. All a bit dodgy, as you can imagine. You filthy lot being well down the list, this is the latest (but very old) news from the front.

Dodgy retailers are the third worst type of being on this planet.
I have been trying for weeks to get them to accept responsibility for my blanched HD. Do they? Do they not! Do any of you know what it's like to be un-connected? Hellish. I have no alternative but to issue procedings in a court of law. It's going to get as uncomfortable for them as accidentally thrusting down on a cucumber in the bath.

Which brings me to my second statement: Lawyers are the second most vile creatures to walk this precious Earth.
I have instructed my leagal team (a bargain at £9.99 per quarter) to issue proceedings against my retailer. I, being the eager beaver who has been wronged, is all fired up ready for battle in the wood panelled battle zone. They, you ask? Well, THEY are quite content to sit there, spending my £9.99 per quarter on the best Scottish single malt while sitting on the extensive balcony overlooking the Thames. Doing SQUAT. Lawyer is now a new swearword in our house (being a light curse previously).

In an unrelated, but similarly suited profession, Estate Agents are so bloody disgusting they don't even qualify for membership of the food chain.
What motivates these people? I mean, what exactly drives them to crawl out of bed? And what service do they provide that you could't competently do yourself? I cannot go on. My head has just shot off like some Etna molt.

I shall resume redecorating your screens with your littered bodies as soon as I can get those fatherless lawyers to do a decent days work.

Meanwhile, I have a strange feeling that Panzy, Germaline and Cupasoup have been trying to get hold of me. Leave a message here so I know you're out there and I'll give you my Hotmail addy.

Now go, while I can still control my trembling rage.

StR

[Elvis]

Stuka, My gut feeling at this time is that the game will end in a draw. If it does you should count that as a victory for yourself.

The TCP/IP thing was very frustrating because I play many many games that way and though I do have problems from time to time I don't have the problem we had last night. When a game is played straight through via TCP/IP there is nothing like it.

And did I mention that I don't understand why everyone feels the need to number turns?

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Taken from a late, unlamented thread since locked down by the Bald Angry One. In it, Berli stated: No, that looks like something Joe Shaw would come up with. Wasn't he the one that was talking about his +5 Underwear (Yes, Bauhaus, it was in referance to you)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Right then, that's about it from YOU boyo, I CHALLENGE you to a game of ... oh wait ... we're already playing aren't we, drat the luck! Furthermore that IG of yours is dead meat, see if it isn't.

Joe

p.s. It was +7 Underwear you goof, and they were Underoos at that. As if I'd be caught dead in +5 Underwear.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Sorry, lads, sorry, but I forgot this and it wouldn't do to let it pass without comment. You see, Berli suggested that: No, Joe is completely wrong. We are not a community (which impliesa
certain level of social tolerence), nor are we some sort of limp wristed democracy (if we were, this might become the George Bush Jr
Challenge Thread).<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Actually YOU'RE wrong, so stick that in your pipe and smoke it. This IS a community, granted one that is typically festooned with signs promoting Community Policing and one in which the neighbors are more heavily armed (and inclined to USE said arms) than you might find on Maple Street USA, but a community nontheless. We have our Village Idiot ... actually more than one, we've done ourselves proud on THAT score. We have a Mayor sort of figure (if you count Lorak's physique as a figure ... which I don't. We have the religious aspect covered to a fare-thee-well with Father Confessor Peng and the aforementioned Berli the Evil One. We have the certified old codger/character in OGSF and the certifiable character in Bauhaus. We have the lovely and theoretically lovable ladies of some repute in YK2 and Kitty and there is even the respectable learned one (remember that the reputation doesn't always pan out) in Seanachai. Oh yes, Berli we're a community all right ... I can see the moving vans arriving any moment.

Joe

[ 07-25-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[rleete]

Seanachai wrote:
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>that he was a right good lad <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

*Gag, choke, cough* Ahem. Excuse me, that will be quite enough of the name-callin, sir.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>such a jolly nice fellow <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Alright, That's it! I can accept a bit of ribbing, but this has gone too far. Too far I say! I can deal with "SSN git". "Pompous ass" would pose no problems. Even a friendly "gamey bastich" is tolerable. But this "nice guy" stuff is below the belt (Bauhaus, get thee back, deamon). You even go so far as to besmirch my name. I'll have you know that the family name has a long and honorable history, going back, oh, at least a week or two. Why, I never. Well, yes I have, but that is entirely beside the point. And I have pictures, to prove it. :eek: Ah, um, er, where was I?
Oh, yes. The Besmirching Bard. The rest of the Kniggits should have drawn and quarted you when they had the chance. Hanging isn't good enough for the likes of you. We need gore! Guts and gore, to appease the whining of the outerboards.
I would throw down the gauntlet, but I'm much more inclined to smack you up side the head in a surprise attack. "Nice young fellow", indeed. Harrumph! In the name of honor (honour for you overseas idjits), I challenge you. I challenge you to a game of CM with [gasp!] sequentially numbered turns. This would be 1, 2, 3, etc. for those who have only used the MBT form of itemizing in the past.
Edited to add smileys for Peng, and some numerals to piss off Elvis

[ 07-25-2001: Message edited by: R_Leet ]

[Iskander]

And I keep shouting to no avail that the apposite term is kononia, but nevermind.

Although not doing such things on a semi- non- regular basis, I'd like to present the NEW AND IMPROVED . . .

Updates!

Since St. Rat is still begging off on these so-called computer problems instead of just sucking it up and surrendering, we'll move quickly on. But as a closing note: remember what happened after your last delay, Stevie ol' chap: my troops had time to call Battalion for reserves . . . .

My very enjoyable heavy-drinking match with jd (look Rat! a LAWYER!) is careening towards a firey conclusion. After slagging all but two of his armor in the first few turns (and just what does "gamey map-edge hugging bastiche" mean, jd?), I proceeded to let my whiskey do the talking and got four of mine spanked in return. We are now creeping around the map like geriatrics at the mall before it opens.

Finally - yes I'm lame and only have three Pool games right now - my institutional poonishment match with the now rebolded Seanachai in the Land of Rune (motto: we treat you wrong!) is an exercise in how many "fast" move lines I can have stretched into his side of the map. He unfortunately is onto my secret weapons of tanks that run across the surface of the water and my crews with their anti-grav belts, but I have one or two surprises left. In fact, once my tank crews get done burning houses and having their way with the French collaborationist broads (and why isn't THAT modeled in CM?!? bleat all you want about "gore" and "body parts" and "realism", but hey: if BTS isn't going to model the raping and pillaging that plays such an important part of war, then this game is CRAP and not worth playing! DO SOMEFINK!!!!!) then S will see some MAJOR whiskey induced-stupidity. We both are looking forward to it.

I owe the marble-gargling one, OGSF a setup, which just might happen tonight. Or, it might not.

I owe St. Bauhaus a setup from months ago, but whenever I get around to it, someone in my household - be it person or pet - starts crapping uncontrollably. I think I shall wait a bit more on this one.

[Moriarty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Pshaw
p.s. It was +7 Underwear you goof, and they were Underoos at that. As if I'd be caught dead in +5 Underwear.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You sure those weren't +7 Garanimals ... we'd hate to see you uncoordinated.

[ 07-25-2001: Message edited by: Moriarty ]

[Moriarty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:
People of the Peng Challenge, I come before you tonight a man much puzzled, much tried, a man, in a word, with much on his mind. Now, for many of you I know that last is a state you will never achieve. You will never suffer the stress of a multitude of thoughts competing for your attention, nor the viscitudes of having to weigh one thought against another, as the scale of your intellect has only one arm, and 'mental balance' means to many of you 'thinking very hard about the best way to walk home dead drunk without falling over'.

et al
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No hangin's then, huh. Rats.

[Moriarty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by R_Leet:

The rest of the Kniggits should have drawn and quarted you when they had the chance. Hanging isn't good enough for the likes of you. We need gore! Guts and gore, to appease the whining of the outerboards.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Re-pLeet, you impudent cur. While I agree that hanging and evisceration is too good for the likes of the Bumbling Bard of Avon Calling, who I hear tell in fact does drive a pink Yugo, what in the name of all that is Cess, makes you think we need to "appease" the outerboards?

It's statements like this, ya plodding whelp, that will bring swift and sure retributions from the likes of Pshaw.

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Moriarty warned: It's statements like this, ya plodding whelp, that will bring swift and sure retributions from the likes of Pshaw.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That would be Sir Joe Shaw to you Moriarty and don't think I haven't had my eye on you for quite some time now.

I have a secret list of at least 4 Knights and 6 Squires who are in league with and supporting SSNs and Outerboarders. Would you like me to up that total to 5 Knights? Just keep it up pal.

Now ... onto other matters, you are quite correct that Are_Geek would normally be called onto the carpet that he has piddled upon, but as an SSN he has NO legal standing in the CessPool and is therefore NOT subject to the obligations of a Knight or Squire of the CessPool. So what's to be done you ask? He has NO standing and therefore we can do whatever we like with him.

Unless someone should propose him as a Serf his correction is up to each of us. While I like the tone of his initial post (he shows some wit and gumption and he dislikes Seanachai, that's always a plus) he needs to post a few more times before we can judge his mettle.

Sir Joe Shaw, Prosecutor and Protector of The One The True CessPool

[bauhaus]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Iskander:

I owe St. Bauhaus a setup from months ago, but whenever I get around to it, someone in my household - be it person or pet - starts crapping uncontrollably. I think I shall wait a bit more on this one.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
And last thing I want to play is a crappy scenario.

[Speedbump]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
I have a secret list of at least 4 Knights and 6 Squires who are in league with and supporting SSNs and Outerboarders. Would you like me to up that total to 5 Knights? Just keep it up pal.

Sir Joe Shaw, Prosecutor and Protector of The One The True CessPool<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That's it Sir Joe, git 'em. Sounds like we didn't get all those reds back in the 50's!

Let's have hearings!

Let's have trials!

Let's have Stenographers!

Speedbump

edit to ask the question: Should one embolden one's own name? Sounds kinda dirty...

[ 07-25-2001: Message edited by: Speedbump ]

[ 07-25-2001: Message edited by: Speedbump ]

[CMplayer]

uh, excuse me gents, but what
does 'peng' mean? i've wondered
that for a long time. thanks
for your answers in advance. god
bless,

--Rett

oh, and if anyone would like to
get spanked in a tcp/ip game
right now, load 217.208.10.193
details of the setup in a post
at opp. finder. sorry sorry...

[ 07-25-2001: Message edited by: CMplayer ]

[ 07-25-2001: Message edited by: CMplayer ]

[Leeo]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally ventured in a limp wristed manner by CMplayer:
uh, excuse me gents... thanks....
for your answers in advance. god
bless,

--Rett
sorry sorry...
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

What a big pile of refuse this post is. It's not even strong enough to steam a little, let alone get a game from someone. "Gents" indeed. Feh. The "can't be bothered with reading simple instructions" crowd would really start to be ticking me off, if I could be bothered to give a half-hearted care.

MORE HANGINGS!!

[CMplayer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Leeo:


What a big pile of refuse this post is. It's not even strong enough to steam a little, let alone get a game from someone. "Gents" indeed. Feh. The "can't be bothered with reading simple instructions" crowd would really start to be ticking me off, if I could be bothered to give a half-hearted care.

MORE HANGINGS!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

thank you sir for pointing out my
inadequacy i will work on it right
away, but, sir, what i really wondered
is this: what does 'peng' mean, I heard
it all the time. what is it? don't
worry about the game, i don't want
to pllay with an aggressive person
anyway, thx

--rett

[Elvis]

Anybody want to discuss numbering files some more?

[Leeo]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:
Anybody want to discuss numbering files some more?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


Anybody want to gouge their eyes out with hot pokers?

This topic is just about inane enough to belong to the *gasp* Outerboards.

[CMplayer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Leeo:



Anybody want to gouge their eyes out with hot pokers?

This topic is just about inane enough to belong to the *gasp* Outerboards.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

gee leeo, you know all the jargon but
you are no penger i know that for sure
you cant even say what peng is. in swedish
peng means 'coin'. my belief is that is
where the word comes from. anyway the
computer probably chose some shermans
for me and i would like to shoot
some germans with my shermans, hey
i am a poet, becasue i am a tactical
genius. 217.208.10.193 very sorry
to bother. i read the instructions
but dont understand, god bless

--rett

[ 07-25-2001: Message edited by: CMplayer ]

[Joe Shaw]

Lorak, I am pleased as punch (not that I've ever seen punch particularly looking pleased ... I mean it just kind of Sits there doesn't it ... all green or red or orange or whatever color) to report yet another in my campaign to PROVE that skill at CM is immaterial to the good work of the CessPool.

That's right, I've lost another game, and not just ANY old loss, but one to Bauhaus no less. Now mind you it was nip and tuck for a while there. I was winning handily, shelling the snot out of his infantry thanks to a cleverly placed FO and blowing his armor to kingdom come. I thought I'd have to deal with another win for while. Then, luckily (and I DO mean LUCKILY) his reinforcements of a Panther, three Mk IVs and assorted HTs showed up just as MY reinforcements of Sherman Vs and Fireflies showed up. All in all it was about equal. And then, in The Luckiest Turn in CM History, virtually ALL of his vehicles survived and only ONE of mine did. Well, I heaved a large sigh of relief let me tell you. But I forgot that I was dealing with Bauhaus don't you see. The silly lad sends his tanks in to mix it up with my infantry! He had some excuse about occupying VLs or some such. At the end of the game he had the Panther and a couple or three HTs left ... oh and a Minor Victory too. Talk about your close run things.

Bauhaus: WIN
Joe Shaw: LOSS

Joe

[Iskander]

Memo to the 'Pool:
Re: CMPlayer

Why do I get that "should I really be kicking this little, fluffy puppy?" feeling on this one?

[rleete]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Moriarty:
you impudent cur
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Now that's more like it. But you miss the point entirely. That was irony, ya twit. Referring to the "including blood and gore shows respect for the fallen" prattle that caused Seanachai to verbally assault me. Hence my challenge. Have you seen the junk getting debated on the outerboards? It's enough to force someone into the MBT just to avoid the stench!

Sir Shaw, while this isn't exactly my first venture into the cess, it is one with a more focused objective. Namely, payback. As "correction" is your right as a kniggit, I only ask that you keep Bauahus securely chained in the far corner.

CMplayer, kindly SOD OFF! Your ilk gives us aspiring SSN's a bad rep. Good thing you picked that for your username, otherwise, we all would have assumed you are a professional debator. I'm sure teletubbies is on somewhere, why don't you go check?

Edited, 'cause I want to make a really good impression. :rolleyes:

[ 07-25-2001: Message edited by: R_Leet ]

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CMplayer:
i read the instructions but dont understand<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Stupid Swedish students (pesky alliteration) appear to have a penchant for stating the bloody obvious.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Iskander whined:
Why do I get that "should I really be kicking this little, fluffy puppy?" feeling on this one?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Iskander, you git, you are beginning to show signs of (gasp) COMPASSION! Quick, get another drink before it progresses!

Oh, and finally, for elvis:

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100, 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118, 119, 120, 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145 . . .

[edited for Elvis' sake]

[ 07-25-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

[PeterNZer]

Iskalendar:
It's because you imagine him wearing pink diapers?
I know I do....

[CMplayer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lindan:
Iskalendar:
It's because you imagine him wearing pink diapers?
I know I do....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

ME TOO! i also think iskalender wheres
those diapers. ha, good one lindan. yeh!
you are a real pengar i know it for sure.
hey everybody just tell me what is peng
and you can play me but not for long
because i must get some sleep before
big exams tomorrow.

-rett

[Panzer Leader]

Peng is the sound you will hear as we collectively turn our attention away from your moment of attention and back to highly important matters such as: numbering turns (Don't forget the 0!) and my shameful excuse fof a kanigget known as Seanachai (my own benefactor!)

Look, the heretic just drug in Kewl Dudz l33T and one SSN at a time is all we can handle, (though why anyone wants to "handle" that punk is beyond me) so please sod off. Failing that, try buggering off.

[CMplayer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:
so please sod off. Failing that, try buggering off.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

you are so mean i have to get a samarin,
thats swedish and means 'alka selzer'. i
am sorry for hurting your feelings like
that. gud bless

--ret

[Panzer Leader]

Listen here CD Player, the only redeeming quality you possess is that you're not a Finn, and believe me that ain't much.

See ya!

[CMplayer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:
Listen here CD Player, the only redeeming quality you possess is that you're not a Finn, and believe me that ain't much.

See ya!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

thank you. hej, somone just connected
to play, maybe it is you pl? :rolleyes:

[DekeFentle]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch:

Your still a cockroach to me.. bug boy.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hey SUCKboy, is this the kind of "Artful Taunting" you were referring to yesterday? Magnificant Mushy! It's always so stimulating to see Kinnigets at work. You’re undigested slop rates right up there with SDN’s.

When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent.

[Agua Perdido]

From the Grammer Police Blotter:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>mensch's delightfully usage-impaired taunt of:
Your still a cockroach to me...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>found a wonderfully symmetric response from DekeFentle:
You’re undigested slop rates right up there...[/i]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Not that I'm judging people by their grasp (or should I say, they're grasp) of grammer (grammer Bauhaus! Put down that copy of Warriner's!). Quite the contrary, I'm just pointing out how my superior grasp of written English makes me much more clever, handsome, better-smelling, more attractive to my chosen gender/species of romantic partner(s), possessed of a superior local sports franchise, and my dad can beat up your dad and is going to buy me a new land rover discover as soon as i turn sixteen haha you poor people are funny and i am a l33t haxor you are suxor--

[Figure in armor smacks Agua Perdido upside the head with a raw chicken.]

Sorry about that. Blood sugar's a bit low. I think I'll go have a bagel.

Agua Perdido

[Edited to correct my pervasive misspelling of "grammar," but then I realized it works better with it in.]

[ 07-25-2001: Message edited by: Agua Perdido ]

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Hey SUCKboy, is this the kind of "Artful Taunting" you were referring to
yesterday? Magnificant Mushy! It's always so stimulating to see Kinnigets at work. You’re undigested slop rates right up there with SDN’s.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Sir Mensch is a full fledged Knight of the CessPool while you are ... allow me to check ... ah, yes, here it is ... The Whuppin' Boy ... Ah me {wipes tear from eye}. Therefore he is as far above your station (the Texaco on the corner if I'm not mistaken?) as is the Earth from the Moon. For that reason, he is automatically right and you are automatically wrong ... actually you're automatically wrong all the time. Consider that Sir Mensch is not abiding in this country (or even in YOUR country ... have you crowned Jesse yet?) and therefore may not be completely cognizant of proper grammatical construction. Even if he IS well versed in English, everyone makes the odd mistake ... you wandered in here didn't you, and to berate someone for their grammar or spelling is usually considered ... poor form. But then we've come to expect that of you.

Am I to deduce from your previous post that you DO want a game with me?

Joe

[mensch]

for all those kack holed cockroaches that worry about spelling in the CESS?

go play with your barbie dolls and fine pressed underwear your spouce irons for you, extra starch by the looks of some posts in here.

Spelling and grammer are for those who care... and as you see I don't.

if you want to ramble on how such a teacher fecking suck you were in school or how many professors you banged to get that perfect deploma.. tell it to some one who CARES.. i don't give a feck.

you pasty pissants who like to wooo and wow how your mentor / animal handler patted you on your head when you took your first perfect crap! TELL IT TO SOME ONE WHO CARES!!!

as for the cockroach problem here it's getting worse. Go figure a Peng Thread™ started by Spanachie tends to gather the lowest lifeforms on this earth, causing great pain and nashing of teeth to the low life forms already here.

so what did we learn today my little cockroach friends.. if you think you can wow us with pazzaz.. or was that pizza.. well it don't matter. Show it to someone WHO CARES.

if you want to complain about spelling or grammer, tell it to some one WHO CARES.

if you can't understand this, who the feck cares! It's not our fault your a MORON!

now.. go play on a busy highway I got a headache.. but even that I DON'T CARE.

as for cockroaches, your challanges will be ignored, not even read over with the slightest smile or passing of gas. BECAUSE I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU.

now update for those who don't care:

PeterNZ: The nob I think has given up on CM thus our game that is on hold. cuz the NOB is not returning his file to me for Two and a HALF months now.. lorak I formaly declare this one a draw since he was loosing, knew it and ditched the game!! this is the first copp out I have experienced in my CM playing career.

OBSFGZ: new game, more death to him, I hope. anyhow we just got started and well here's my thoughts.. he'll labber about something in forked tounges agian.. wait for it.

Senachoo!: Bless you. no realy it took him since 4th of July to realize he never sent me back a file! I guess he was layed up in hospital from a firecracker firing up his nose.

boolichen: nice beta test going, no real constructive comments by him xept maybe, "greg..." hmm sorry I can't remember what he wrote, but it does not matter he never writes anything spectacular anyhow..

Spuka: Hell boy do we have a game going?... ring me up I need a good laugh about now.

Mase: beta testing and a real game going, as for the beta testing he's doing better then Berli that's forsure. as for the real game, expect a auto surrender from him any day now.

Kroda: again no file from him for months, I suspect drugs are the reason why he's not sending stuff back.

Frenchboy that goes "oui": funny him.. damn rushing gamey git.. payed for it though.. me too.. the git.

Guyer: wow, amazing.. I think this is the only real intensive game I've had all year.. cuddos to Germanboy wonderfuly done.

Jow She: painfully slow, his tactic is working but loosing many men to such foolishness, bring out that damn armour so I can brew it up will you!!

if I miss anyone, who cares. I don't

[Moriarty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by R_Leet:


Now that's more like it. But you miss the point entirely. That was irony, ya twit. Referring to the "including blood and gore shows respect for the fallen" prattle that caused Seanachai to verbally assault me. Hence my challenge. Have you seen the junk getting debated on the outerboards? It's enough to force someone into the MBT just to avoid the stench!
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Your irony needs starch.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Edited, 'cause I want to make a really good impression. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Another sycophant. Wonderful.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Another original from Sir Joe Pshaw
That would be Sir Joe Shaw to you Moriarty and don't think I haven't had my eye on you for quite some time now.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

As long as you insist on standing on ceremony, ya bilious, blustering, Mormonizing lawyer git, it's Sir Moriarty. One day we shall meet in battle and there will be more standing goin' on, Sir Knigget.

And as far as your having your eye on me, keep your Bauhausian tendencies to yourself.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I have a secret list of at least 4 Knights and 6 Squires who are in league with and supporting SSNs and Outerboarders. Would you like me to up that total to 5 Knights? Just keep it up pal.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Secret lists, eh? How outerboard of you.

Time for a sing-song:

Which grog's side you on, boy
Which grog's side you, on ...

Just which SSN have I supported? Stand and deliver, your lupins or your life. (oops, wrong bit, there, but I digress)

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>That's it Sir Joe, git 'em.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Speedhump, ya snivelling wretch ... *KICK*

[ 07-25-2001: Message edited by: Moriarty ]

[Stalin's Organ]

Ah it does my sould good to see the fine reception being given to a whole new pack of brats!

But onwards and outwards to Update. Not that anyone really cares, but it's a slow morning at work and I fel like inflictnig myself upon as many of you as possible.

Davey Itchin' - at least manages to get turns back. Having selected a map with lots of hills and no trees to maximise the target practice opportunities for his uber-kittens it seems he's bought at least half a dozen MARDERS! Gamey bastiche! Still, they make fine target practice for Daimler 2 pdrs.

Mouse is a useless slack waste of space, but I digress..... Actually playing 2 against this boy.....dunno why - perhaps he likes pain? He seems surprised that I should have artillery in our attack (him, with hordes of the evil hun)/defence (me - with Green US infantry) game. Oh well....he's one tiger (?) down and that 57's going to get a spanking but it was worth it!!

and in the ME game his infantry have successfully seized all objectives and been blasted to snot by all sorts of things throwing HE filled shells - it's lots of fun!! In a couple of moves I'll send the boys in for a cuppa among the ruins and blasted bodies in feldgrau.

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by stevetherat:
as accidentally thrusting down on a cucumber in the bath.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Why do you keep your vegetables in a bath?

Mace

[Agua Perdido]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch:
Spelling and grammer are for those who care... and as you see I don't.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Spelling and grammer (grammar, whatever) are vital as Yet Another Perfectly Good Irrelevant Reason to Berate Someone and Declare They Are Less Intelligent And Abusive Of Gratuitous Capitalization Than You. Strainge, I find myself Not Caring, either. I think I'll go use "it's" as a possessive.

Agua Perdido

(Is it happy hour, yet?)

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Just which SSN have I supported? Stand and deliver, your lupins or your life. (oops, wrong bit, there, but I digress)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now you weren't paying attention Sir Moriarty, I stated first that I had a SECRET list of FOUR Knights and I asked if you wanted to be number FIVE. See the beauty of the secret list is that it is SECRET and I can add whoever I want. And before you ask, no I won't publish the list because then it wouldn't be ... hello ... SECRET! But just remember that I've got spies everywhere. The Committee on UnCessPudlian Practices NEVER RESTS!

This is fun, I can see why Joe McCarthy got such a kick out of it.

Sir Joe Shaw, Prosecutor and Protector of The One The True CessPool

And to answer the question, it's normally NOT the done thing to bold one's own name, but in this case I wanted to strike a little fear into the hearts of the SECRET supporters of the Outerboarders and SSNs, you know who you are ... and SO DO I!

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch:
Mase...for the beta testing he's doing better then Berli that's forsure. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

ie. My lads are probably dying at a somewhat slower rate than Berli's did. It reminds me of the battle of Hurtgen Forest, but without the trees.

Still, this is a fun game, especially for a masochist like myself.

Mace

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Agua Perdido:
Spelling and grammer (grammar, whatever) are vital as Yet Another Perfectly Good Irrelevant Reason to Berate Someone and Declare They Are Less Intelligent And Abusive Of Gratuitous Capitalization Than You. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

As is numbering of turns.

Mace

[Moriarty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Now you weren't paying attention Sir Moriarty, I stated first that I had a SECRET list of FOUR Knights and I asked if you wanted to be number FIVE. See the beauty of the secret list is that it is SECRET and I can add whoever I want. And before you ask, no I won't publish the list because then it wouldn't be ... hello ... SECRET! But just remember that I've got spies everywhere. The Committee on UnCessPudlian Practices NEVER RESTS!

This is fun, I can see why Joe McCarthy got such a kick out of it.

Sir Joe Shaw, Prosecutor and Protector of The One The True CessPool

And to answer the question, it's normally NOT the done thing to bold one's own name, but in this case I wanted to strike a little fear into the hearts of the SECRET supporters of the Outerboarders and SSNs, you know who you are ... and SO DO I!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ah, I see paranoia has struck deep in the beloved 'pool with a newly risen "Tailgunner Joe."

I was paying attention, but you evidently were not. I never asked you publish the list ... only to identify the SSN I purportedly supported.

As you failed to strike any jot, whit or iota of fear into my heart whatsoever, I guess I fail to make the list. It's either that or I don't know who I am. Which is possible.

[Moriarty]

Nothing to see here, folks. Move along.

[ 07-25-2001: Message edited by: Moriarty ]

[David Aitken]

Oh mensch, you sweetie, I didn't think you cared!

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I was paying attention, but you evidently were not. I never asked you publish the list ... only to identify the SSN I purportedly supported.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Gawd what a twit. I SAID ... Before You Ask about the list ... and I never said you WERE on the list, I merely suggested that if you kept up your current attitude you might end up on it. And you still might for calling me paranoid, you're just like everyone else, all of you are out to get me, following me, taping my phone calls, substituting pod people for my family, WELL YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH IT.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>As you failed to strike any jot, whit or iota of fear into my heart whatsoever, I guess I fail to make the list. It's either that or I don't know who I am. Which is possible.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I agree ... I think.

Joe

[Moriarty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Gawd what a twit. I SAID ... Before You Ask about the list ... and I never said you WERE on the list, I merely suggested that if you kept up your current attitude you might end up on it. And you still might for calling me paranoid, you're just like everyone else, all of you are out to get me, following me, taping my phone calls, substituting pod people for my family, WELL YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH IT.

Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That would require that I read and comprehend every word you wrote and that might be in violation of some cool 'pool rule.

Substituting pod peeps for your fam? Yow, that would take Penging to a whole new level ... the Pength degree, as it were.

[ 07-25-2001: Message edited by: Moriarty ]

[Lawyer]

I just wasted 40 minutes reading this crap to catch up. I sure do miss doing it on company time when I got paid for doing it.

I think I'll send Elvis some numbers tonight.

[Iskander]

Heh, heh... love the new sig, Jake....

Now that I've returned to my normal state at the oh-so correct promptings of CptSphnctr, I have some observations about socialism, to wit:

Downside
Soviet Union
SE Asia
China
N. Korea
Cuba
Nazi Germany
E. Europe
Various Latin & African states
US farm policy

Upsides
Sweden

Thus what can we conclude, oh my less- sober- than- me- collegues? Why, just what you'd expect: 100 million dead on one side and "Ace of Base" on the other.

Yes. Exactly.
Leave it to the Swedes and S&MFeltcher to ruin a perfect genocidal scam like socialism with their idjit notion of Nordic fairness. Sure, they may be good natured and all, but look what they've done to the most effective tool of self-extermination that our species has EVER come up with!

It all starts with inchoherent posts... next thing you know you've closed the camps and emptied the psychiatric wards of political prisoners and then you're singing Abba songs...

...at least they all work for Ford now....

Feh.

[Lawyer]

I don't follow all the bits and pieces, Ike, but that is a brilliant post. I think there are deep, deep thoughts going on there. I'll talk to the Whiskey Man about it, and get back to you. He knows everything.

[imported_Wildman]

Two complete and seperate requests for you heathen out there.

1. I need a battle make by one you hairy creatures to send to Elvis

2. I would like to try TCP/IP tonight. I'm eastern time and I'm here til midnight my time. Email me and I'll get to kill you in real time. OUTSTANDING!

[bauhaus]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CMplayer:
uh, excuse me gents, but what
does 'peng' mean? i've wondered
that for a long time. thanks
for your answers in advance. god
bless,

--Rett

oh, and if anyone would like to
get spanked in a tcp/ip game
right now, load 217.208.10.193
details of the setup in a post
at opp. finder. sorry sorry...

[ 07-25-2001: Message edited by: CMplayer ]

[ 07-25-2001: Message edited by: CMplayer ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Peng is English for, "Go away, you annoy me." Now Peng off!

[bauhaus]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Lorak, I am pleased as punch (not that I've ever seen punch particularly looking pleased ... I mean it just kind of Sits there doesn't it ... all green or red or orange or whatever color) to report yet another in my campaign to PROVE that skill at CM is immaterial to the good work of the CessPool.

That's right, I've lost another game, and not just ANY old loss, but one to Bauhaus no less. Now mind you it was nip and tuck for a while there. I was winning handily, shelling the snot out of his infantry thanks to a cleverly placed FO and blowing his armor to kingdom come. I thought I'd have to deal with another win for while. Then, luckily (and I DO mean LUCKILY) his reinforcements of a Panther, three Mk IVs and assorted HTs showed up just as MY reinforcements of Sherman Vs and Fireflies showed up. All in all it was about equal. And then, in The Luckiest Turn in CM History, virtually ALL of his vehicles survived and only ONE of mine did. Well, I heaved a large sigh of relief let me tell you. But I forgot that I was dealing with Bauhaus don't you see. The silly lad sends his tanks in to mix it up with my infantry! He had some excuse about occupying VLs or some such. At the end of the game he had the Panther and a couple or three HTs left ... oh and a Minor Victory too. Talk about your close run things.

Bauhaus: WIN
Joe Shaw: LOSS

Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yep......I couldn't agree with you more. Especially the part about you losing.

[bauhaus]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:


Why do you keep your vegetables in a bath?

Mace<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That's no vegetable, that's his date.

[Stalin's Organ]

You moron! A date is a vegetable too!!

[Buzzsaw]

What was once flushed from the Cesspool has returned!

While I cannot claim to have been present when Seanachai first struck the rock with his staff and tapped the fetid spring that has so amply filled this Cesspool, I did bathe briefly in its medicinal waters about a year ago, trading posts with a few of those who seem to now be considered learned “Elders”.

Some of the “Elders” will doubtless dismiss me as a brief and minor distraction. Others will claim no memory of me whatsoever (this may be true, as their wandering, barely intelligible posts often reveal a disturbing inability to remember what they have written in previous paragraphs). Most have been secretly yearning for my return, for the day when I would again taunt them mercilessly.

Well, you mustard-seed brained, knuckle dragging proto-humanoids, your wait is over. Rest assured that my absence has not changed my lowly opinion of your writing skills, intellect, or parentage. Better still, I am prepared to bestow a gift upon a select few of you. I will give your otherwise miserable and empty lives a special meaning by soundly thrashing you in a Quick Battle.

Now, allow me to peruse the archives to see who is most in need of lessons in tactics and taunting....

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>You moron! A date is a vegetable too!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You moron! A date is a fruit!!

One of Many Pages Identifying Dates (http://mideastfood.about.com/cs/fruits/)

And please, for once, resist the temptation.

Joe

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
You moron! A date is a fruit!!
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You double moron - Fruits are vegetable!

[Mace]

Fruit: plant's or tree's edible product of seed with its envelope, quantity of these; vegetable seed with envelope as means of reproduction; male homosexual. *giggle*

btw: Who's been upsetting the outsiders?

Please stop it, they want to lynch us now, and I'm too fond of living to have it taken away from me!!!!

See! (http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=1&t=020551)

Mace

[imported_Wildman]

I get so F**K'N tired of that bull****. I looked at that thread, hell I even posted on the Mother! There were certainly old hatreds between people that had nothing to do with the topic at hand.

In general the arguements, both for and against that stupid KIA BMP thread were reasonable. I hope that pussy Tiger does leave. Jesus H. Christ, maybe we should hold his hand and feed him sugar because he makes mods. If that had been a newbie making that pathetic gesture, he would have been laughed out the door. Feh on them all

I'm beginning to wonder why the hell I even look at the Outerboards anymore!

------

I still need a scenario, Berli, Mark IV, anyone?

[Panzer Leader]

Comin' right up!

[BilgeRat]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by tha South Seas Parrot:
You double moron - Fruits are vegetable!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Aaarrgh!
Reminds one of tha arguments I used to have with Joseph Banks aboard tha Endeavour

"I declare sir that the bosun is a vegetable"
"Well that may be since he was hit by that falling spar he, is but before that he was a fruit"

A fruit being the ripened seed-bearing part of a plant when fleshy and edible or more exactly the mature ovary of a plant which is a vehicle for reproduction.

A vegetable being a herbaceous plant cultivated for an edible part, as roots, stems, leaves or flowers. Or you may say a vegetable is the edible stems, leaves, and roots of the plant excepting the fruit.

[Mark IV]

Lorak!!!

Record a bloody, smoldering DRAW with the arch-rodent von schrad.

SMG-brandishing, tank-killing, we-don't-care-what-we-look-like-once-we're-dead Kuhltruppen: 42

Him: 48

Listen, my droogs, this was in the bolshy flamey mess called "Afterlife" authored by our sneering local scenario vendor germanboy (bolded in a nod to his former status, but denied the coveted capitalization reserved for active kaniggets), and a bloody stinking mix-up it is.

M. Perdido, perhaps, will note the change of tense in mid-paragraph. Anal twit.

As I was saying, this is not a scenario for the faint of heart. You will all die and burn up a lot, and that during the setup. I think you could call it attritionist. I did a maneuver thing but it got attritted, too. Damn.

As I still don't play with mods, I can only guess at what I must have been missing in this blazing inferno. So it's too bad about Tige, but a lot worse about Priest, who blames the teacup for the tempest. Stupid trolling whiney baby gyro-licking non-sequiturial finger-pointing bandwagon hopper just couldn't make his point without stooping to name-calling. Typical.

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by BasementMouse:
Aaarrgh!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ah...praise the lord he's not going to try to say anything!!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>
A vegetable being a herbaceous plant cultivated for an edible part, as roots, stems, leaves or flowers. Or you may say a vegetable is the edible stems, leaves, and roots of the plant excepting the fruit.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Bugger!!

OK smart arse - if it isn't vegetable then is it animal or mineral?

[ 07-26-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ]

[mensch]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:
Oh mensch, you sweetie, I didn't think you cared!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

well for you sugarschnupp.. anything.

now, bugger off.

[mensch]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Wildman:

1. I need a battle make by one you hairy creatures to send to Elvis<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well my Barbarian friend.. me finks Elvis is to busy counting his points and numbers to have sent an email to you.. to enlighten you here is the dialog I had with him in ICQ

m: heyyyy anything new?

e: i hate numbered turns!!!! hehehe

m: use the alphebet thing.. er.. aye. that.

e: hee hee....ya working on mine and lizardboys game?

m: er.. I got the map done.. I'm just fuzzy who does the weather stuff, etc.. or is one person supposed to make it? Nice map though.

e: i have no idea i've never done one of these things before

m: ah ha.. right.. um... I could do the whole thing, both of you send me a flat map with the forces you both wish. I'll put her in the map and send it off saved as campaign saved.

e: that works for me....any idea how many points?...should I be doing that now.

m: contact your funny challanger and do it this way. one player decides the weather and time of day the other decides ground conditions and if there are flags or not. I though you guys agreed on 2500pts.. meeting engagement?

e: right...2500 points..and i will contact him for now i am going to try to nap...been up since 645 after trying to stay awake to finish my game with that bastard stuka last night

m: hmm.. he still plays?? wow! right just email me when you got the details and tell your buddy to send me a game file with his choice of stuff

right that sums it tamedman, you figure it out. I got the map, I'm waiting for the settings and troops and off you two will go wacking each other with big sticks.

right... fixed something cuz some nob is going to point somefink out.. I hate you lot.

[ 07-26-2001: Message edited by: mensch ]

[Geier]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch:
PeterNZ: The nob I think has given up on CM thus our game that is on hold. cuz the NOB is not returning his file to me for Two and a HALF months now.. lorak I formaly declare this one a draw since he was loosing, knew it and ditched the game!! this is the first copp out I have experienced in my CM playing career.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
I see you and raise. I'm formally declaring my game against the cop-out sheepshagger a win and so should you. I don't mind people putting games on hold, I still have my Ethan game on hold since what, March?
I do mind when people even can't be bothered to tell me they aren't going to reply. I've sent two emails to Peter asking for some kind of explanation but nope, he can't be bothered. Was it three weeks ago he popped up and said that he'd send files to those he felt like within a week?
Peter, if you're reading this and don't like it, too bad.
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>
Guyer: wow, amazing.. I think this is the only real intensive game I've had all year.. cuddos to Germanboy wonderfuly done.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
You haven't seen the last turn. I have. Veni vidi panzerschreck should be on your official regalia.
Your right flanking force has one more turn to live, except for the two shermies who are dead already. Speed is a good thing when attempting to flank. Standing still and picking your nose isn't.
Your arty is dropping where I used to be, sucks to have those slow large calibre thingies.
Your ht assault never got around to the assaulting part. My right hand flanking force (the one you saw) is still alive and well and not where you think they are. Man, can you tell I'm loving this game?

I couldn't agree more on the scenario design, it's "Into the East" and if you don't play it as pbem double blind you are doing yourself a disservice.

[Geier]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Iskander:
Upsides
Sweden
...at least they all work for Ford now....
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Nope, the SAAB people works for GM. Otherwise I think you're spot on.

[Treeburst155]

Peace and Pestilence to you all!

I have ventured forth from my province in the Outerboards to thank the creator of the Abbott_Gyrene scenario for his fine work. I don't know who made the map or picked the units I am using, but I do know the battle was created by someone dwelling in this fetid abomination you call the Mutha Beautiful. My PBEM partners and I thank you.

I must leave you now and return home. Feel free to continue your discussion of vegetables. If you really want to clear up all doubt as to the definition of a vegetable just look in the mirror. With that I bid you, Die-A-Lot Now!!

[BDW]

hmmm

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by BDW:
hmmm<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I bet that took weeks of thought!

Mace

[David Aitken]

Hey, look at this fellas! A #30! This one even outranks BTS!

Doesn't mean he's not still newbie scum, mind...

[Geier]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Treeburst155:
I have ventured forth from my province in the Outerboards to thank the creator of the Abbott_Gyrene scenario for his fine work.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Play "Into the East" from der Kessel next or we'll have to shoot you. The more I think about the possibilites in that scen the more I think I'll play it again.

[CMplayer]

HI ALL MY NEW AMERCIAN PENG FRIENDS!

now i am a real penger smile.gif you can all
be happy and I will report on my first
peng challenge game. some guy connected
and we played but the computer was not
very fair. i got 2 USA engineer platoons,
one sherman, and 3 halftracks. plus one
bazooka and one mmg. hmm..oh and some
useless flamethrowers. He got 4! platoons
of volksgrenadiers, 120mm arty, 3 81mm
mortar teams, one hmg, 2 halftracks with
canons on them and a stug. Like is that
fair? :( :( so i lost. i got mashed.
he shot my sherman with a panserfaust.
now you are all depressed for me, i'm
so sorry. i got mad and told him he's
gamey, but i forgot the computer bought
him that stuff. thank you all so much
smile.gif i'm sorry i can't write more now but
i have to go back to some tests i am
running with comets. i'll tell you all
the results, promise. god bless.

--re

[ 07-26-2001: Message edited by: CMplayer ]

[David Aitken]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>CMplayer wrote:
... sorry ... sorry ... sorry ... god bless ...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I doubt it was a cesspudlian you played if they beat you.

This guy sounds about as dangerous as a small pile of polystyrene chips. I bet he could give anyone here a sound working over.

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Geier:
I see you and raise. I'm formally declaring my game against the cop-out sheepshagger a win and so should you.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I see that, raise you again and call.
(I think thats what all the tough cowboys do)

Curious, really that Peternoozeeladurrr happened to be losing all the games that he's bailed out on.
In our game he was within mere turns of being ousted from his positions, handcuffed ankle to wrist over the 44 gallon drum and then sent 'round to Bauhaus' place.

Its no wonder he vanished really.

[PawBroon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Geier:

Play "Into the East" from der Kessel next or we'll have to shoot you. The more I think about the possibilites in that scen the more I think I'll play it again.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


Considering your turn processing rate, I'll play you with that one Johan and two simultaneous games might amount to a normal one played with David Aitken.
What say you?

[Geier]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PawBroon:
Considering your turn processing rate<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Urg. Damn i knew there was something I overlooked when I formatted and reinstalled. I am glad it was only The French and not someone who mattered. Hang on, I'm not playing anyone that matters. File on it's way tonight.

Sure, I'll play Into the East against you but only after me and menschy boy have finished. In fact, I'll play Into the East against any takers, I just need to finish it first.

[ 07-26-2001: Message edited by: Geier ]

[Geier]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:
Curious, really that Peternoozeeladurrr happened to be losing all the games that he's bailed out on.
Its no wonder he vanished really.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Well he certainly was losing in our game. He had his entire force (apart from an immob Sherm far far away behind a hill) inside a fire sack with no armor left and running out of arty.

Maybe he thought shandorf would be too disappointed with him? Who knows? Who cares? mensch don't answer that last one OK?

[Elvis]

Ths just in......
Elvis has lost a game.....
That's right ..no need to adjust your monitors..

Stuka : Win in the most glorious of styles

Elvis : Lose but went down fighting.

[Stuka]

Thats right, Lorak!, rack 'em up.

I have added another of the elder skulls to my trophy cabinet.

Scarcly had the varnish dried on the gleaming orb of Seanoo cha cha, than I had to move it to one side to place the pointy bonce of Elvis front and centre on display.

Elvis has been taught that no matter how many 8" shells you can lob at your enemy, it is not a good idea to follow up such a bombardment by running your troops straight at dug in HMGs.

It was a close run game and no mistake.
I thought I had blown it by buying a couple of Fusilier squads and boy, don't those trigger happy buffoons love opening up at extreme range when they are most effective at 40m or less.
It took some tricky manooovering and 'hide' orders to get those suckers to conserve a little ammo until it really mattered but they did well when the final frenchy assault started and they proceeded to hose down squad after squad.
I've never captured an intact 'crack' Company CO unit before.

And now as I try to bring up the AAR to give y'all the score, it occurs to me that here is a good reason to number files.
In accordance with Evitas wishes, I simply overwrote the last file, now I can't see what the final scores were.

Me: 62ish
Him: 38ish

PS Mr Lorakski, I think you may have overlooked my victory over OGSF from the final posts of the last thread.
Be a good chap and do the deed for us. cheers.

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Buzzsaw:
Some of the “Elders” will doubtless dismiss me as a brief and minor distraction.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
A very accurate description. Sod off and go play in the traffic was appropriate then, and it is appropriate now.

[Agua Perdido]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:
M. Perdido, perhaps, will note the change of tense in mid-paragraph.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Nope, I was pretty relaxed the whole time.

[Agua Perdido]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Buzzsaw:
Now, allow me to peruse the archives to see who is most in need of lessons in tactics and taunting....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Judging by your post, that'd be you.

[DekeFentle]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Sir Mensch is a full fledged Knight of the CessPool while you are ... allow me to check ... ah, yes, here it is ... The Whuppin' Boy ... Ah me {wipes tear from eye}. Therefore he is as far above your station (the Texaco on the corner if I'm not mistaken?) as is the Earth from the Moon.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Mushy is NOT fully fledged. I do believe he’s bald as the proverbial egg. With regards to my station, it’s an Amoco you twit. {sigh} I make no claims to station in this festering fold of fools. Why would I compare myself to hedonistic halfwits?
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>
For that reason, he is automatically right and you are automatically wrong ... actually you're automatically wrong all the time.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Of course, this is obvious and it clearly demonstrates your orphaned attempts at originality.
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>
Consider that Sir Mensch is not abiding in this country (or even in YOUR country ... have you crowned Jesse yet?) and therefore may not be completely cognizant of proper grammatical construction. Even if he IS well versed in English, everyone makes the odd mistake ... you wandered in here didn't you, and to berate someone for their grammar or spelling is usually considered ... poor form. But then we've come to expect that of you.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Jesse will be crowned and I have personally invited him here. I do hope this causes much wailing and nail biting amongst the yammering Kinnigets. Mushy abides here in the polluted poltroon of poolers and as such is subject to any and all attacks against his derisive drivel. As far as poor form and expectations, well… {ROTFLMAO} that’s just to much joey. Good lord you are a funny boy!
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>
Am I to deduce from your previous post that you DO want a game with me?
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Now who was it who mentioned the art form of PENG involving witticism and/or obscure literary references? Not that Willy is all that obscure mind you. I have been informed by Agua Perdido (Who’s only failing, aside from his gamey tactics, was to allow you to call him squire.) that you are a not the bellicose buffoon your piteous prose make you out to be. I do believe I might actually be able to stay awake while I watch your half-arsed attempt at manoooverin.

When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor.

[Buzzsaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>A very accurate description. Sod off and go play in the traffic was appropriate then, and it is appropriate now.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ah, Berlichtingen, I see from Lindan’s archives that it was with you that I was scheduled to duel (before I bravely ran away). Seems I was also trying to rile Elvis, so let me attempt to renew the animosities:

Elvis
At first glance fighting you would seem beneath me. Berlichtingen once called you the Cesspool lackwit, and it seems you have done little to raise your status since then. You are like the mangy mongrel that begs for scraps at the knights’ table, but I have decided it that it would be most humane to dispatch you first. That way you will not have to see your masters humiliated when I move on to them. So, if you have not choked on your blood hamster, and are done having you belly rubbed in that obscene post by Seanachai, let us tangle in a Quick Battle. Come, Elvis, come! Be a good boy -- come on.

Berlichtingen
I had somehow got the impression the first time around that you were a decent CMer and might be able to last a few turns against me. Now I see from Lorak’s Cesspool page that you actually have a worse record than Elvis. Your only remarkable achievement is the sheer quantity of games you have played (apparently with a total disregard for the quality of those games). I would be happy to help you chalk another one up in the loss column. Lets have at it, you dimwit.

[Speedbump]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by DekeFentle:
festering fold of fools...hedonistic halfwits...polluted poltroon of poolers ...bellicose buffoon ...etc

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Webster's II New Riverside Dictionary:

Alliteration n. The occurence in a phrase or line of speech or writing of 2 or more words having the same initial sound

Ah...thought so. Alliteration does not equal wit (or an obscure literary reference). Please refrain from this activity in the future, or better yet erase your post all together!

Speedbump

[Geier]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by DekeFentle:
Now who was it who mentioned the art form of PENG involving witticism and/or obscure literary references? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
I dunno. Who are you and what are you doing here?

Sod off.

[DekeFentle]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedbump:


Webster's II New Riverside Dictionary:

Alliteration n. The occurence in a phrase or line of speech or writing of 2 or more words having the same initial sound

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Congratulations Speedy! You can use a dictionary! If it wasn’t for the occurrence of illiteracy in your post, one could believe you actually now how to use it correctly.
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

Ah...thought so. Alliteration does not equal wit (or an obscure literary reference). Please refrain from this activity in the future, or better yet erase your post all together!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
I will pain the rest of the dutiful readers by re-posting the gist of my reference. In reply to one of joey’s random spasms upon the key board…

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Originally posted by DekeFentle:

As for saying I have no desire to contest with you on the pixeled battle ground, I don't recall penning that but there are a lot of unimportant things I let slip. I am always willing to take up the gauntlet. I fear the lack of challenge you would provide might bore me past my normal stuper, however if you feel the need "Cry havoc! and let slip the dogs of war!"
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Try again Speedy me boyo. A little larger caliber next time eh?

When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor.

[Lars]

Updates:

Mouse: Running out of crews and arty observers to rush at the Flags.

Communist’s Member: Running like hell in “Jabo”. Our other game is still too close to call but I’m sure he is losing this one as well.

Poopoowiper4/2: Running off for a week’s vacation. Let’s all hope he gets another week off.

Now, I also will be running off for four days to the EAA Fly-in. It will be just me and 12,000 airplanes. Ahh, the smell of kerosene, the roar of old radials and the napalm drop on the main runway, it is not to be missed.

So no files for you stinkin SSN’s until Monday. Nor you, Mouse. It’s a shame none of you will be there as then I would have the chance to push you into a prop.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Geier:

In fact, I'll play Into the East against any takers, I just need to finish it first.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Alright then you smelly Swede (redundant, I know), I expect a setup in my inbox when I get back. If you should somehow win, I’ll send you photos of a Vickers Vimy from the airshow. This will have to hold you for now.

http://www.airventure.org/2001/wednesday25/vimy.html

If I win, you’ll send me…wait a minute, Sweden doesn’t have anything other than Swedes, and I’m up to my ass in them here anyway. So if I win, just promise not to emigrate.

[ 07-26-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]

[Stuka]

Now, now Kinky Ferkle, theres no need to get all testy with the bigger boys.

Thats it, pull your bottom lip back in and pick up your Malibu Stacey doll, we'll have no childish tanties in this kindergarten.

Now if the mean kids call you names that you don't understand, just hoist up your skirt and walk over to the swings and have a little cry all by yourself if you must. We don't want the others thinking that your'e not a big, strong girl who can't handle a little joke without getting all scratchy and bitey now do we?

If you can't play well with others then someone will have to turn you inside out and feed you to Berli's cat.

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I do believe I might actually be able to stay awake while I watch your half-arsed attempt at manoooverin.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh, well I am sorry for your sad case of narcolepsy then. No doubt that would explain the disjointed nature of your posts. In any case I wasn't offering a game, I was just curious if you actually were trying to GET a game with me. If so, you are going about it in an odd fashion. Remember, I play people that I ENJOY playing, people whose posts amuse me and people who play the game for fun ... whoops, that's three strikes I believe ... you're Out!

Joe

[jshandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lars:
It’s a shame none of you will be there as then I would have the chance to push you into a prop.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I am not some fanboy of Lars, but dammit, that comment was just too funny. That is my kind of humor.

Push you into a prop. Ha! *cackle*

Jeff

[DekeFentle]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:
Now, now DekeFentle, theres no need to get all testy with the bigger boys.

Thats it, pull your bottom lip back in and pick up your Malibu Stacey doll, we'll have no childish tanties in this kindergarten.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Stuky Puky it’s a Chrissy doll you blathering boob. Kindergarten??? Now I am concerned, mommy put me on the pre-school bus this morning…
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>
Now if the mean kids call you names that you don't understand, just hoist up your skirt and walk over to the swings and have a little cry all by yourself if you must. We don't want the others thinking that your'e not a big, strong girl who can't handle a little joke without getting all scratchy and bitey now do we?
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Mommy told me to keep my skirt down thank you very much, and she warned me about pedophiles like you so just get off the play ground or I’ll call a teacher over here and you’ll go to the principles office for sure!
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>
If you can't play well with others then someone will have to turn you inside out and feed you to Berli's cat.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Belri Werli has a kitty??? Oh my, please, pretty please can I play with him Berli? I positively adore kitty cats.

When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor.

[DekeFentle]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
I play with peoples thingys that I ENJOY playing with, people of a like diminished mental capacity... whoops, that's three strikes I believe ... you're Out!
Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Elvis! joey's using numbers again!!!! Well sort of, I think, it's definitely counting of some kind. He tried to disguise it by spelling out the words (no doubt so Speedbump could look them up in his dictionary)

When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor.

[jshandorf]

Nothing makes me happier than knowing that my title for DinkFeather has stuck better than fresh crap to the side of a tolietbowl.

If only he was as easily scrubbed away...

Jeff

[DekeFentle]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf:

If only he was as easily scrubbed away...
Jeff
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I stand you to booze and eats and this is the ****e I get? hell next time I'll buy you a woman too!

When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor.

[jshandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by DekeFentle:
I stand you to booze and eats and this is the ****e I get?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hey, that bribe was a while ago. It's worn off now. You need to pony up some more beer and buffalo wings.

Just call me the "squeaky wheel".

[ 07-26-2001: Message edited by: jshandorf ]

[DekeFentle]

Squeaky Wheel perhaps is time again for you and the gray bearded bard to venture into the bowels of Murderapolis. IIRC my constitution was less than optimum at our last meeting and I was unable to fully bask in the glory of your august presence. What say ye?

When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor.

[PeterNZer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Ah, Berlichtingen, I see from Lindan’s archives... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Busssaw, you owe me five dollars, or what else they take for money in the sinkhole you live in.

[ 07-26-2001: Message edited by: Lindan ]

[bauhaus]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stalin's Organ:
You moron! A date is a vegetable too!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
It seems that you're the moron.

[bauhaus]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CMplayer:
i am running with comets. i'll tell you all
the results, promise..

--re

[ 07-26-2001: Message edited by: CMplayer ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Is this the Swedish version of running with the bulls? I've actually heard of many a swedes being gored by a comet. Sounds painful.

[bauhaus]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:


In our game he was within mere turns of being ousted from his positions, handcuffed ankle to wrist over the 44 gallon drum and then sent 'round to Bauhaus' place.

Its no wonder he vanished really.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
We actually made him into a bird feeder. Quite popular with the blackbirds.

[Lawyer]

Okay, I need some good recommendations for scenarios that work well in TCP. Any of you gits got some? My opponents and I must be able to manipulate the little thingies (while drinking) in 10 minutes or less. I've decided it takes too long to humiliate you wasted souls by PBEM.

The Lawyer is planning his offensive Fall Offensive and some of you are targets, so give generously and give often.

[Lorak]

Kind of busy tonight, so I'll make this brief.

Stuka-win
OGSF-loss

Mark IV-Draw
Von Shrad-draw

Stuka-win
Elvis-loss

We also have two new pictures posted on page 5 at the cesspool site. Speedbump and Mr.Spkr

Game updates:
Everyone I am playing I am losing too.

Lorak the loathed