The Peng Challenge Telethon for Australia: How Many Times Can You Just Look Away?

[Seanachai]

Right, then.

Welcome to the Peng Challenge Thread. We at the Peng Challenge have a long history of public service, commencing with the implosion and disappearance of our original Thread, posting continuously to make sure that more deserving threads like 'BFC, My Tank Died, Too Many Bugs For We Ubermenschen' always sink to the bottom of the page, and through such public works as hijacking, belittling, and eventually killing such idiotic threads as the 'Still Nothing to F'ing Say Third Redux of the Bren Tripod Thread'.

Now, we turn our attentions to an international tragedy that simply won't go away: Australia.

By challenging a single individual to a game of Combat Mission, and doing so in a witty, urbane, and thoughtful way, you can make a difference. The Peng Challenge Thread promises that for every well done taunt, every humourous challenge, we will savagely mock Australia, or an Australian, without mercy or conscience.*

We've all seen the Australians prancing about this Board, and even the World, speaking their incomprehensible gibberish in their horribly decayed Pommie accents, mugging for cameras worldwide while grilling prawns and exporting only the worst sodding swill as their 'signature beer'. We've heard them calling themselves the Lucky Country, while inflicting Olivia Newton John, Paul Hogan, the Crocodile Hunter and Aussie Rules Football on a world already rent by turmoil and heartache.

How many more times will we just 'look away', and pretend that it's the 'other guy's' responsibility to do something about these Down Under Hillbillies hopping about the world landscape with their under-developed young in their evolutionary dead-end pouches?

Well, it stops now. And you can help. Please, the Peng Challenge needs your help. Make a taunt, a challenge, and make us smile while you do it. And we will put those drunken descendants of criminals in their place (staked out in the sun with bull ants swarming their privates).

Please. Act today. Or do you want to watch 'Crocodile Dundee IV: Shock and Aweroight, Mate!'

* Some restrictions apply. Do not base your taunts or challenges on your genitalia, other people's genitalia, or bathroom matters. Do not annoy or harass the Ladies of the Pool. Challenge a single individual, do not make pillocky general challenges that make everyone laugh at what a clueless, gormless lackwit you are. Challenges cannot be honoured if an email address and general location are not included in your profile. The Peng Challenge Thread reserves the right to send any bloody halfwit to Coventry for being a menace to good taste and Human Evolution by posting and existing in an utterly useless and annoying fashion. Challenges to Peng himself will not be considered unless they are unbelievably amazing. Please note that Australia, Australians, and the Lucky Country are now registered trademarks of the Peng Challenge Thread, and taunting and abuse of them is a violation of local laws without express written permission of the Olde Ones and the Knights of the Pool. Australians will be harmed in the making of this Thread. God bless you, Goanna, wherever you are.

[ July 11, 2003, 06:30 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Nidan1]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Boo_Radley:
OK you gaggle of flacid, prancing ninnies, I'm back. Turns will be going out sometime hopefully in the next day or so due to the fact that I have to reinstall CM and all it's files. Why, you ask? Well, since you ask so nicely, I'll tell you. The severe lightning storm we had earlier this week not only fried my modem, it also screwed up my graphics to the point that my brand new graphics card was no longer compatible with my system. Why? Beats me, I just play games on the darn thing, I don't know what makes it work. So, we had to do a complete restore to the original system, reinstall my old graphics card and take it from there. Some of my PBEM games might not have survived the purge as I had limited space to save things and gee whiz, some of you guys just didn't make the cut.
But, I'll let you know what the scoop is a bit later.
I know that many of you computer whiz kids will probably want to admonish me on how I might have handled this better, but after spending an entire afternoon with the computer guys and dealing with this crap for the last four days...I really don't want to hear it. Thanks.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next time install one of those new fangled things called "Lightening Rods", or even better attach a uninsulated wire to your leg, pound a metal rod into the ground and attach the other end of the wire to it, all this preferrably near your home. Get a long metal pole, and stand there holding the pole like the Statue of Liberty. During the next storm, if lightening strikes it will be attracted to the metal rod you are holding. The 50 million volts of natural electricity will hit the pole, surge through your body, and continue harmlessly into the ground. Please be aware you will only be able to do this once, a fresh person will be needed for any other strikes of lightening.
Or...you dumb ass get a $15 surge protector, and plug your PC into it.
Edited to appear in the New Improved Peng Challenge Thread.
--------------------
"Duty is as heavy as a mountain
Death is as light as a feather"

"I am reality" SSGT. Barnes

[ July 11, 2003, 06:24 PM: Message edited by: Nidan1 ]

[Berlichtingen]

All together now!

Once a jolly swagman sat beside the billabong,
Under the shade of a coolibah tree,
And he sang as he sat and waited by the billabong
You'll come a waltzing matilda with me


Waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda
You'll come a waltzing matilda with me
And he sang as he sat and waited by the billabong
You'll come a waltzing matilda with me.


Down came a jumbuck to drink beside the billabong
Up jumped the swagman and seized him with glee
And he sang as he tucked jumbuck in his tuckerbag
You'll come a waltzing matilda with me


Waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda
You'll come a waltzing matilda with me
And he sang as he sat and waited by the billabong
You'll come a waltzing matilda with me.


Down came the stockman, riding on his thoroughbred,
Down came the troopers, one, two, three.
"Where's the jolly jumbuck you've got in your tuckerbag?
You'll come a waltzing matilda with me


Waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda
You'll come a waltzing matilda with me
And he sang as he sat and waited by the billabong
You'll come a waltzing matilda with me.


Up jumped the swagman and plunged into the billabong,
"You'll never catch me alive," cried he
And his ghost may be heard as you ride beside the billabong,
You'll come a waltzing matilda with me.

[Nidan1]

Remember the movie "On the Beach", the whole world was wiped out during a nuclear war, all except Gregory Peck's (RIP) submarine and ALL THE AUSSIES , even Hollywood loves 'em.

[Mace]

Originally posted by Seanachai:
And we will put those drunken descendants of criminals in their place My place -

I love a sunburnt country,
A land of sweeping plains,
Of ragged mountain ranges,
Of droughts and flooding rains.
I love her far horizons,
I love her jewel-sea,
Her beauty and her terror –
The wide brown land for me!

Thank you Seanachai, for the telethon.

All proceeds should be forwarded to my home address.

Once again...thankyou. AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI! OI! OI!!!!

Mace

[ July 11, 2003, 06:42 PM: Message edited by: Mace ]

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:
All together now!

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Once a jolly swagman sat beside the billabong,
Under the shade of a coolibah tree,
And he sang as he sat and waited by the billabong
You'll come a waltzing matilda with me...
</font>[/QUOTE]A quick translation of Beri's post (previously the Australian National Anthem, until they got religion and other nations started mocking them for not having enough patriotic drivel in their song):

An unemployed livestock worker sits beside a small muddy stock pond. As this is Australia, it's about the size of an American SUV and is made up of run-off from Australian's recycling their beer. He's making tea as this is the only beverage that Australian's drink besides beer. An unaccomanied sheep trots up, refuses the stockman's come-ons, so he decides to eat it. He nicks the sheep, popping it into his backpack for later lamb chops over the fire. Then a wealthy landowner (only Australians would think to call them 'squatters', displaying their unique attitude towards property ownership) rides up accompanied by several local law enforcement officials who, since this is Australia, aren't simply sheriff's deputies, but are actual soldiers. Caught red-handed and, even worse, being required to return the stolen property, the unemployed stockman chooses to committ suicide by drowning rather than be taken into custody and sentenced to someplace even worse than Australia. Which probably isn't possible, but you can understand how the fact that there might be someplace worse makes suicide seem like a quite viable option.

[ July 11, 2003, 06:51 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Joe Shaw]

Well done Seanachai and may I be the first or a reasonable facsimile thereof to say that Australia is home to the ten most venemous snakes in the world and doesn't that just say a bundle all by its own self.

Joe

[PondScum]

Originally posted by Nidan1:

<font size=-1>Remember the movie "On the Beach", the whole world was wiped out during a nuclear war, all except Gregory Peck's (RIP) submarine and ALL THE AUSSIES</font>...who were promptly out-evolved by the remaining cockroaches.

[Leeo]

I hate the Aussies in only a general sort of way...

What's that you say?

Mace, Goanna, Stuka, Noba, Aussie Jeff, and a writhing mass of other mouth-breathers hail from that continent put-down-under where it could be rightly ignored?

Well, I now have many specific reasons to hate Australia.

Huzzah!

p.s.- Let's not forget that OGSF is a big girl from down-unda as well, even though he poses as a yankee/scottish freak of nature.

[Panzer Leader]

You know what I hate about Australia? Everytime I go to a zoo, we go to the "Outback" (you know, the area between those bamboo latrines and the rear of the monkey-house)...so we get there and I say something like "Ooh, there go some kangaroos!" but somebody always pipes up "Actually, those aren't kangaroos, they're- (insert various corny non-kangaroo name like 'willoughby' or somefink)"

Usually it's my spiteful little daughter who says it (the one who alternates between her 'princess' and 'devil' t-shirt daily) but if she's not around, any friendly buck-toothed voter will be sure to pipe in.

Man I hate that! As if they're not kangaroos, sheesh.

[Mace]

Originally posted by Panzer Leader:
"Actually, those aren't kangaroos, they're- (insert various corny non-kangaroo name like 'willoughby' or somefink)"They're wallabies, ya nong.

They're like kangaroos, only smaller.

btw. If you ever have the opportunity to see a great red (bloody huge roo)...go up to one and slug it in the stomach. They like that.

Mace

[rleete]

Originally posted by Boo-"I don't know nuthin'"-Radley:...Beats me, I just play games on the darn thing, I don't know what makes it work.I've watched Kelly's Heroes (bolded out of respect for a masterpiece), bub, and you ain't no hero. Maybe a hoagie, or one of dalem's sandwiches. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

[Leeo]

Originally posted by R_Leete:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo-"I don't know nuthin'"-Radley:...Beats me, I just play games on the darn thing, I don't know what makes it work.I've watched Kelly's Heroes (bolded out of respect for a masterpiece), bub, and you ain't no hero. Maybe a hoagie, or one of dalem's sandwiches. Not that there's anything wrong with that... </font>[/QUOTE]Crikey (in deference to the wallaby-wafters and kangaroo-klingers), it wasn't <u>that</u> funny the first time around in the old thread.

[Boo Radley]

To: Mssrs Nidan & R_Leete,
Re: The two frighteningly vapid posts that you were oh so proud of that you couldn't allow them to fade respectivly away in the last thread, but felt, nay, were compelled to repost here so I could see.
Right now I am drunk. No, I am hammered. Why? Because my week was ****e on a shingle (not unlike MrSpkr's profession).
Because of this and the simple (like you two duck chasing Nancy-boys) fact that you have caused me to notice you, realize that Christmas presents are right out!

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

Lorak, MRPeng, and Goanna give me a holler if you want to continue our games from a while ago.

I do hate the idea of beta’s. I spent an hour processing turns for me and the reason for the trembling in my loins. I patiently tried each in ver 1.02, ver 1.03 beta, and then ver 1.03. I should have never ever downloaded and used that silly beta. It was peer pressure and I blame Elvis. I struggle each day to live up to his standards and still fall short. Even after all of my effort, he verbally castigates me in an email. Does he know how he makes me hurt inside? As I sit weeping on the john, I ponder my existence and my role in the Mutha Beautiful Thread. This August, I will have been an inhabitant for three years. Three very long years of self deprecating humor and tussling with the CM Titans.

I tip my Phillies cap to the following people for some very interesting battles of whit and combat mission:

MarkIV - his humor, tenacity, and panache were awe inspiring and I do miss him.
Germanboy - his arrogance, pomposity, and egocentricity made him a fun target to mess with.
Hakko Ichui - alas, I never knew ye…but you did get a rise out of me when I first visited the Peng thread and therefore get my respect (you’re "fecking flamethrower" awaits, Professor Doctor Hamster X)
PeterNZer - I still cringe from the torment of our PBEM’s
JDMorse - I appreciate the tutelage, the mentoring and the empathy
Geier - What should I say about the "Old Firm"?
Mensch - You are just fricken crazy, dude (damn your hetzers)
Croda - Sadly, you were my muse for angst and rage for a while. Still a bit bitter about some of those battles but I did whoop you good. (punk)
Meeks - You were the Arnold Swarzennegger of the Peng Thread

Thanks for the good memories! I shall try to stick around as long as they allow the Peng thread to exist. If I make you cringe with the stories of my sweet Hiram lovin, then good. I was able to make you chuckle for a second.

[Leeo]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:
As I sit weeping on the john, I ponder my existence and my role in the Mutha Beautiful Thread. This August, I will have been an inhabitant for three years. Three very long years of self deprecating humor and tussling with the CM Titans. Enough of the maudlin crap, you mamby-pamby-Lady-whipped excuse for a man.

I hereby give you a figurative knee-to-the-groin.

There, that ought to get your ire up.

You monkey in a hair suit.

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

Originally posted by Leeo:
Bravo Sierra snipped
What? Are you feeling a bit spunky tonight, wussy boy? Want to send a setup or are ya chicken? Bok, Bok Bok!!! (That taunt always seemed to work in the second grade and I was able to use it three years in succession.)

[Leeo]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Leeo:
Bravo Sierra snipped
What? Are you feeling a bit spunky tonight, wussy boy? Want to send a setup or are ya chicken? Bok, Bok Bok!!! (That taunt always seemed to work in the second grade and I was able to use it three years in succession.) </font>[/QUOTE]If you shave large portions of your hirsuteness with a dry razor, I might be persuaded to knee you in the groin again. You can wear handcuffs if it makes you feel more manly, you sucker of lollipops.

[Mace]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:
I was able to make you chuckle for a second. Ummm... Hate to break this to you but we aren't laughing with you.

Mace

[PondScum]

Originally posted by Seanachaip:

<font size=-1>God bless you, Goanna, wherever you are.</font> Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

<font size=-1>Goanna give me a holler if you want to continue our games from a while ago.</font>Don't you drunken old sots ever LISTEN? Wait... wait... I know.

FREE BEER! THIS ONE'S ON ME!

There. Now that I've gotten your gnat-like attention span, let me repeat myself from 'lo these many threads ago. When last heard of, the Australian uberlizard had
(a) broken his leg
(b) gotten himself stuck in Siberia.

No, not METAPHORICALLY in Siberia. LITERALLY in Siberia. You know, Siberia. Possibly the only place on earth worse than Australia.

But did you lot care? Did you WORRY? Hell no. And I was winning our sodding game, too.

Gamey swine probably just did it to get out of the loss.

[Leeo]

Just a note of caution;

I'm stumbling drunk, and I'll take you ALL on!

(only in a one-specific-person-at-a-time sort of way).

*Waves fists ineffectually in the air*

[Leeo]

Originally posted by PondScum:
When last heard of, the Australian uberlizard had
(a) broken his leg
(b) gotten himself stuck in Siberia.

I thought Stalin was dead?

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

Originally posted by Leeo:
Just a note of caution;

I'm stumbling drunk, and I'll take you ALL on!

(only in a one-specific-person-at-a-time sort of way).

*Waves fists ineffectually in the air* not really in the mood for any prison love, tough guy

[Joe Shaw]

Now THAT, by Gawd, was vintage Hiram! That was the OLDE Hiram, the Hiram of yesteryear, the Hiram that once was and mayhap will be again, the Hiram ... well you get the idea.

I for one welcome it. We've far too many of people like my own good self (well, not really, there is after all only ONE of me ... more's the pity) ... people of stature and fortitude, people cast of the fine, stern stuff that made this country great, people who laugh in the face of danger and defy the seemingly insurmountable odds with a sneer and taunt of ... ... Bring 'em On!... by GAWD I feel like invading Iran or something!

We NEED the terminally incompetent like Hiram, and more importantly we need the terminally incompetent WHO RECOGNIZE THAT THEY ARE! We need the snivelling, whining, crying o'er split milquetoast type that is now and will always be ... OUR Hiram.

Joe

[Leeo]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:
not really in the mood for any prison love, tough guy Let's see, "Prison Love;
That's just an oxymoron on the face of it.

But wait, you're a moron short on oxy, so I guess it makes a lame and twisted sort of sense. Much like your gait.

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

Great Googily Moogily, Joe. How can you be so insipid? What happened in your life years ago that made you so very….wrong? You know me, Joe. I am fond of old people. I have encouraged you throughout the years to find your teeth and have helped you wander around with your walker. But, come on now Joe. I secretly expected more of you. You claim to be above the rest of us. I had thought that you were smarter. Are you smarter, Joe? Tell me truthfully, Joe. Of the two of us, who calls the Bard while at an airport in Minnesnowta for a bootie call? Hmmm…could it be…YOU?

As of this moment, you are scratched off my list of heroes! Before, it was you, William Shatner, Lee Majors, and ALF. I guess Justin Timberlake will take your place. You disappoint me Joe Shaw. You did NOT take us to funky town. Now, you hush up and munch on your geritol before I place some more fire ants in your adult diapers.

[OGSF]

Joe, ye watery-eyed piddle-garglin' tit....ye owe mae a feckin' turrrn.

Hiram, shove ye haid batween ye spindly laigs an' sit doon.....hard. Mah wee span' go' tha feckin' squirts an' Ah thought ye'd cam tae visit. Thain Ah noticed tha smaill widnae sae bad sae at culdnae bin yoo, Jimmy.

Oi Boo, cam here mon....a wee bit closer....closer....*poot*

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by OGSF:
Joe, ye watery-eyed piddle-garglin' tit....ye owe mae a feckin' turrrn.

Hiram, shove ye haid batween ye spindly laigs an' sit doon.....hard. Mah wee span' go' tha feckin' squirts an' Ah thought ye'd cam tae visit. Thain Ah noticed tha smaill widnae sae bad sae at culdnae bin yoo, Jimmy.

Oi Boo, cam here mon....a wee bit closer....closer....*poot* OGSF ... how nice ... or not. I'll send a turn when I feel like it and you'll like it laddie! When playing a personage as exaulted as I one must be prepared to endure the odd day ... or forty seven ... without a turn. It's a price YOU should be glad to pay for the privilege ... Hell man I'm willling to forget that you're Australian for a bit ... most of that is for Peg's sake of course but still ...

Hiram ... you've been after the cough syrup again haven't you? You'll be paying for it tomorrow you know, the queasy tummy, the pounding head and trying to wash off the dregs of the bottle still smeared over your face and hands.

Joe

[Hiram Sedai]

Oh, Yes Indeedy!! I'm back in the saddle again thanks to a Mister Steve Grammont. I now have my original account back. Tremble and run away. Lock your doors and ensure your mailboxes are sealed.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:
Oh, Yes Indeedy!! I'm back in the saddle again thanks to a Mister Steve Grammont. I now have my original account back. And here I thought the only weirdness we could lay at Grammont's door was being an unrepentant Right Wing Liberal (which is a bit like being a Libertarian, but without the gaping stupidity and/or the insanity that manifests itself as the certainty that the Queen of England is orchestrating the international drug trade while serving secretly on the the Tri-Lateral Commission).

But I was wrong. Now we have to wonder what sick, disturbing secrets might be crouching like scorpions beneath the rock of his past, inadvertantly to be over-turned and discovered by the wandering New Jersey anchorite idiot Hiram Sedai.

GRAMMONT! I don't care what sort of sordid and vile deeds you've engaged in and now seek to keep from the eyes of a judgemental world, for there's nothing that could be more reprehensible and disgusting than being nice to Hiram.

Get a grip, man. Give him a member number in the 12,000 range and have him neutered, for Godssake.

[SirReal]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:
Oh, Yes Indeedy!! I'm back in the saddle again thanks to a Mister Steve Grammont. I now have my original account back. Tremble and run away. Lock your doors and ensure your mailboxes are sealed. Sheram Sedate, you are a waste of bandwidth. Not to mention oxygen. Your only redeeming quality is the fact that you have somehow managed to attach your leechlike suckers to Lady Sedai. If it weren't for the small fact that you reside on a different continent, I would personally stomp your slimey appendages into a greenish goo.

When you look in the mirror in the morning, and your eyeballs rotate inwards to avoid exploding from the sheer ugliness they face, don't you feel the least bit of remorse? Can't you find it in your fluid circulation chamber to release this planet from the pain of your existence and simply implode?

Now extrude a wriggly ocular-equipped pseudopod (no, not that one! I said ocular-equipped!) and read this:

I challenge you, Hiram Sedai.

/SirReal

[Elvis]

Wankers.

[Noba]

Originally posted by Mace:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:
And we will put those drunken descendants of criminals in their place My place -

I love a sunburnt country,
A land of sweeping plains,
Of ragged mountain ranges,
Of droughts and flooding rains.
I love her far horizons,
I love her jewel-sea,
Her beauty and her terror –
The wide brown land for me!

Thank you Seanachai, for the telethon.

All proceeds should be forwarded to my home address.

Once again...thankyou. AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI! OI! OI!!!!

Mace </font>[/QUOTE]Atta-boy Mace. Don't you love these ex-colonials with their jealousy on display. Their longings to be a part of Godsown forever out of their reach. The unattainable just blazing into their skulls from the monitor, appealing to the dismal reality of living in places like, Minnesoda, NooYorcke, Florida and SHUDDER; texas.

All to no avail, I'm afraid. The only way that they can set foot here is from a boat - If the navy don't get them first. And once we get that awesome weapon of ultimate defense up and running - and I mean the 'all knowing - all seeing' Jindalee Radars, then we can pick the critters off as they step ONTO the boat. Sad really.

Noba.

[Moraine Sedai]

Originally posted by Elvis:
Dear Ms. Sedai,

I am in receipt of your files and will attempt to convert and send back this evening.

Love,
Elvis Thank you, kind sir. I am forever in your debt.

Well, at least until our game starts up again. Then I shall let loose with heavy firepower and run your guys out of that building...

I just have to find the right balance remembering I cannot just obliterate the building altogether. Pardon me whilst I mull over my options...

[Hakko Ichiu]

Well, I thought I'd dust off the old MOPP suit and nip quickly into my one-time haunt. I'm glad to see, that after a period of fermentation (always a bit stinky), the MBT has settled comfortably back into its old incarnation, with only occasional bubbles of swamp gas (or is that just Jo Xia?

My only purpose for this visit was actually to tell the Gnome that if he doesn't have any music by Kate Rusby (http://www.katerusby.com), he should run, not walk, to his nearest purveyor of musical content and pick up one of her albums. Her greatest hits album, Ten, is a good place to start.

I think I'll sod off now before the suit starts to break down.

Toodles.

[Mace]

Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu:
My only purpose for this visit was actually to tell the Gnome that if he doesn't have any music by Kate Rusby (http://www.katerusby.com), he should run, not walk, to his nearest purveyor of musical content and pick up one of her albums. Her greatest hits album, Ten, is a good place to start.You working on a commission basis?

Mace

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Mace:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu:
My only purpose for this visit was actually to tell the Gnome that if he doesn't have any music by Kate Rusby (http://www.katerusby.com), he should run, not walk, to his nearest purveyor of musical content and pick up one of her albums. Her greatest hits album, Ten, is a good place to start.You working on a commission basis?

Mace </font>[/QUOTE]Nah, he's just her No. 1 fan boy. You know, has posters of her covering his walls and ceiling. Moderates several of her chat rooms and is constantly answering letters to her attorneys stating quite fiercly that he is NOT stalking her.
That sort of thing.

[Speedy]

quick hide the beer.

[rleete]

Originally posted by [b]Speedy[b]:
quick hide the beer.Cruel and unusual punishment if there ever was any. You, Sir, are mean.

[Noba]

Originally posted by Mace:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu:
My only purpose for this visit was actually to tell the Gnome that if he doesn't have any music by Kate Rusby (http://www.katerusby.com), he should run, not walk, to his nearest purveyor of musical content and pick up one of her albums. Her greatest hits album, Ten, is a good place to start.You working on a commission basis?

Mace </font>[/QUOTE]Err, Mace. Care to send a turn ? No ? - I thought not. Loser.

Noba.

[Noba]

Originally posted by R_Leete:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Speedy:
quick hide the beer.Cruel and unusual punishment if there ever was any. You, Sir, are mean. </font>[/QUOTE]As if he'd share a beer with a CAD ! Ewwww.

I shall take time to note that as from monday night in this great land of Oz, I shall be away from this computer for about three weeks, and maybe, a bit - longer. The Superior Other Half and I will be flying on Virgin to the balmy climes of Melbourne, there to collect my car which will have been transported - safely, we hope - to be awaiting us. From this point, we shall travel far and wide, yea verrily, even to the snowfields. This sojurn is reputed to also have a meeting with MACE, whom if he wished to answer e-mails, could be transported to Puckapunyal - for the price of lunch and and a beer - of course, to take piccies of all the many manly armoury stuff that lies awaiting us. I will be staying in the Holiday Inn on Flinders if anyone else wishes to buy me a drink... I shall also be partaking of the trip to the HOLY SHRINE, THE MCG, to take in a real football match whilst there, a highlight to be sure.

So this means no turns for you lot.

Noba.

[urefinger]

I have one or two questions, if i may (which I will ask regardless of your feelings on the matter) firstly: What is coventry when it is used in your context?
secondly: Who are the knights of the pool?
and thirdly: what is the cubic m(2) storage area of your combined ******'s sand-wise? - naturally assuming a density of about 4kg/200cm(2).

Furthermore, i would like it to be known that I do not consider myself witty and neither - in my opinion - are you. I post merely to piss you off and waste your time, becuase it amuses me so to do it.

good night to you, you princes of maine, you pricks of peng.

[Leeo]

Originally posted by Elvis:
Wankers. You are a soothing force, much like Preparation H on swollen tissues. Your reliability and predictiveness are only surpassed by your lack of novelty.

You are as toilet is to paper, like blow is to flies, as cows are to pies, like kitty to litter, as chum is to bucket.

Thanks, Elvis, for being so friggen predictable.

Pillock.

[A.E.B]

AUSSIE BASHING!!!!!!!

I once fought a drunk Kangaroo for money. And you lot think that we Australians are lacking in culture!

Strewth!
A.E.B

[Noba]

Originally posted by A.E.B:
AUSSIE BASHING!!!!!!!

I once fought a drunk Kangaroo for money. And you lot think that we Australians are lacking in culture!

Strewth!
A.E.B Yep. It's true what they say about accountants.....


Noba.

[dalem]

Sometimes I hate Minnesota.

Tonight I'm in a restaurant. They have two things on their menu I'm interested in - a "Meatball Grinder" and a "Calzone". Not trusting a Minnesota restaurant chain to get even close to the mark for a calzone, I order a meatball grinder.

They bring me...

A calzone. Not a good calzone, not a terrible calzone. I say to the waitress "But I ordered the Meatball Grinder" and she chirps "That is the Meatball Grinder." So I'm left thinking that, if their grinders look like crappy calzones, must their calzones look like crappy grinders???

Luckily the bill came and cleared everything up, for the bill was clearly marked "Grinder: Calzone".

Sigh.

Sometimes I hate Minnesota.

[ July 13, 2003, 02:17 AM: Message edited by: dalem ]

[Mace]

Originally posted by Speedy:
quick hide the beer. Better yet....drink it!

Mace

[Richie]

Originally posted by Speedy:
quick hide the beer. That's nice that is !
You know, lately, everytime you yanks get yourself into a war we offer to help you guys out. Now you wanna hide the beer? :(
What happened to hospitallity eh?

Don't knock kangaroos either, they're bloody delicious. ;)

[Boo Radley]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Neener, neener, neener, IN YOUR FACE!
Thanks to the brilliant help of Schrullenhaft, CMBB is now up and running! I am reinstalling all my mods and after I get back from work tomorrow with the files for patches 1 & 2, I will once again be able to grind your pointy little noggins under my size 12 feet and throttle you with my monster-sized hands. (And you know what they say about guys with big hands and big feet, don't you? Right. We need to buy big shoes and big gloves!)
So prepare to once again cower in fear as I make mockery of all you little mousey plans!
If anyone out there has a copy of the scenario I designed called "Hold the Ridge", could you send it back to me? It got lost when I was forced to reformat and I was tweaking it a bit before I sent it in to the Depot. Thanks)
Swines!

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Neener, neener, neener, IN YOUR FACE!
Thanks to the brilliant help of Schrullenhaft, CMBB is now up and running! I am reinstalling all my mods and after I get back from work tomorrow with the files for patches 1 & 2, I will once again be able to grind your pointy little noggins under my size 12 feet and throttle you with my monster-sized hands. (And you know what they say about guys with big hands and big feet, don't you? Right. We need to buy big shoes and big gloves!)
So prepare to once again cower in fear as I make mockery of all you little mousey plans!
If anyone out there has a copy of the scenario I designed called "Hold the Ridge", could you send it back to me? It got lost when I was forced to reformat and I was tweaking it a bit before I sent it in to the Depot. Thanks)
Swines! Actually SWINES is incorrect, the correct term for either singular or plural members of the porcine family is SWINE ... quite useful that, you can refer to a single SWINE such as Boo_Radley or a number of SWINE such as ... uh ... a LOT of Boo_Radleys ... or Australians.

Joe

[ July 13, 2003, 12:30 PM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Actually SWINES is incorrect, the correct term for either singular or plural members of the porcine family is SWINE ... quite useful that, you can refer to a single SWINE such as Boo_Radley or a number of SWINE such as ... uh ... a LOT of Boo_Radleys ... or Australians.

Joe Joe, jOe, joE, JOE, joe and ultimately, Joe.
Has anyone ever told you what a witty, wise and altogether benevolent personage you are? No? Not really surprised.
I will MOST look forward to whipping your hinder along with the remnants of your troops all over our little battlefield. Be a-scaired. Be very, very a-scaired.

(Edited to say that OGSF smells like absinthe...so don't stand downwind of him.)

[ July 13, 2003, 01:59 PM: Message edited by: Boo_Radley ]

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Actually SWINES is incorrect, the correct term for either singular or plural members of the porcine family is SWINE ... quite useful that, you can refer to a single SWINE such as Boo_Radley or a number of SWINE such as ... uh ... a LOT of Boo_Radleys ... or Australians.

Joe Joe, jOe, joE, JOE, joe and ultimately, Joe.
Has anyone ever told you what a witty, wise and altogether benevolent personage you are? No? Not really surprised.
I will MOST look forward to whipping your hinder along with the remnants of your troops all over our little battlefield. Be a-scaired. Be very, very a-scaired.

(Edited to say that OGSF smells like absinthe...so don't stand downwind of him.) </font>[/QUOTE]And I note with disdain, though no great degree of surprise, that you FAIL to acknowledge your most grevious error and instead attempt to shift the topic ... on the other hand it's entirely possible that your tiny brain was incapable of retaining the previous topic for more than the hour or two it required for you to formulate, compose and type your response.

Joe

[ July 13, 2003, 03:38 PM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[Nidan1]

I want to share a wonderful experience with all of you, why I dont know, since you are all like what is left on a pier when the barnacles are scraped off, sort of a greenish, gooey, mass of,...well something awful. Especially you Australians, since you live on a giant island anyway, its probably infested with barnacles. I just had installed a computer controlled, in ground spinkler system at my estate. A fantastic bit of technology it is. No more dragging hoses around the perimeter of the homestead, no more "Rainbird Oscillating Sprinklers", which last exactly one summer season. ( I have 11 of them in my shed, guaranteed for life they say). I have programmed the system (which I am told has more computing power than the Lunar Module did back in '69), and now, presto, the lawn gets watered, not once, but twice each day,while I sit on my ass and type nonsense into this forum. It even has a gadget that senses rain fail and prevents the system from turning on. I tell ya people, America is a wonderful country, and technology is grand. Gotta go now, my BBQ is smoking!!

[rleete]

Originally posted by Nidan1:
...no more "Rainbird Oscillating Sprinklers", which last exactly one summer season. ( I have 11 of them in my shed, guaranteed for life they say).So, you think you might have wanted to try getting a replacement from the manufacturer instead of buying another one? No, you go out and get the exact same thing that broke before.

Consumers at their worst. Beware the brain dead.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by urefinger:
I have one or two questions, if i may (which I will ask regardless of your feelings on the matter) firstly: What is coventry when it is used in your context?
secondly: Who are the knights of the pool?
and thirdly: what is the cubic m(2) storage area of your combined ******'s sand-wise? - naturally assuming a density of about 4kg/200cm(2).

Furthermore, i would like it to be known that I do not consider myself witty and neither - in my opinion - are you. I post merely to piss you off and waste your time, becuase it amuses me so to do it.

good night to you, you princes of maine, you pricks of peng. Apologies to the Justicar, and to all the folk of the Peng Challenge for responding to this...creature. But I think that it's important that the shunned and useless at least get a nod from one of the Olde Ones before they settle comfortably into Coventry, and we all settle comfortably into ignoring them.

Because one never knows. Perhaps they never got attention when they were young, or perhaps aren't getting enough because they are young. There is this eternally springing hope that someone can come out of the darkness that resides up their own bum and walk in the light with everyone else. So I shall respond to the rather snotty little streak of piss that styles itself 'urefinger', and answer it's questions this once.

To explicate the phrase 'sent to Coventry', I quote from Brewer's 'Dictionary of Phras and Fable':

To send one to Coventry. To take no notice of him; to let him live and move and have his being with you, but pay no more heed to him than to the idle winds which you regard not. According to Messrs. Chambers (Cyclopœdia), the citizens of Coventry had at one time so great a dislike to soldiers that a woman seen speaking to one was instantly tabooed. No intercourse was ever allowed between the garrison and the town; hence, when a soldier was sent to Coventry, he was cut off from all social intercourse.In other words, if you are sent to Coventry here, as you have been, we have so great a dislike of pointless little fools like yourself that we shall ignore everything you have to say in the future. Posted anywhere, for choice, but certainly here.

The Knights of the Pool are simply a group, or, rather, a rather simple group, of long-time posters to the Peng Challenge Thread. At one point it was decided, in the way that all things here are decided, that simply being long-time posters to this Thread wasn't nearly shame enough, and that special notice should be taken of people who were accepted into this strange little society of people who know why you don't want to belong to a club that would have oneself as a member. In full, it comes from "Knights of the 'Cesspool'", a place to which this place has been compared.

I find your final question about how much sand can be pounded up a ****** quite telling. Clearly you feel that the greatest insult you could give to this group of posters is to indicate that they have '******s'. Go and tell your mother about how witty you are. Explain to her how funny and scathing your remark was. Strut about a bit more and explain to us our lack of wit, and pass on a few more hateful and vicious comments so that we can truly appreciate how important it is for a little child to assert himself by proudly displaying the unscrubbed stains on his underpants.

Here in the Peng Challenge Thread we all have mothers. Many of us have sisters, quite a few have wives, and all of us have known women. And every single one of us can recognize a stupid child whose insults reveal his own vulgar emptiness and lack of experience. I read a quote somewhere that said that some men spend their entire lives trying to demean women because they are the first law-givers, the first ones to tell a self-centered and spoiled little ****e 'No!'.

Now, why don't you scurry off and tell all your little friends that you used the word '******' in a post on the internet.

Sorry, Joe. On reflection, I posted less in any hope of reaching 'urefinger' than I did from the hope that some other young person might reflect on the fact that even on the Internet, one still has to be a real person before being accepted as one by others.

But then, I'm the 'Nice One', and a bit of a dreamer.

Urefinger may now resume his sojourn in Coventry.

And don't feel too proud about 'wasting my time', lad. It's all I've got, of course. But I'm happy to spend a bit of it scraping my shoes in order to get rid of something like you.

Just so you know, it's not like you're the first little tosser we've had come around jumping up and down with his underpants around his ankles demanding that we all look at him. Quite a few that are sure they'll never be accepted here do the same thing. It's a sort of 'pre-emptive sulkiness', I suppose.

Now piss off. There's a useless little twit.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by SirReal:
Sheram Sedate, you are a waste of bandwidth. Not to mention oxygen. Your only redeeming quality is the fact that you have somehow managed to attach your leechlike suckers to Lady Sedai. If it weren't for the small fact that you reside on a different continent, I would personally stomp your slimey appendages into a greenish goo.

When you look in the mirror in the morning, and your eyeballs rotate inwards to avoid exploding from the sheer ugliness they face, don't you feel the least bit of remorse? Can't you find it in your fluid circulation chamber to release this planet from the pain of your existence and simply implode?

Now extrude a wriggly ocular-equipped pseudopod (no, not that one! I said ocular-equipped!) and read this:

I challenge you, Hiram Sedai.

/SirReal Yes! I'm told we've just had a Challenge come in!

Dear me, that wasn't very good, was it? Still, he's trying, now, isn't he?

Ah, let's see. Alright, let's abuse an Australian, then.

Noba, you're a fetid pile of dingo kidneys. And a git.

Well, well, our first Challenge pledge. We are standing by the Thread right now, ready to abuse Australia and Australians for each Challenge posted here on the Peng Challenge Thread.

Come on, people! How 'bout some real Challenges?! Something that merits some serious Aussie bashing!

Gods above, if it continues like this, I'm going to have to start saying something nice about the bastards.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by R_Leete:
So, you think you might have wanted to try getting a replacement from the manufacturer instead of buying another one? No, you go out and get the exact same thing that broke before.

Consumers at their worst. Beware the brain dead. It comes, I think, out of the experience of having children. Or, in many cases, watching that process.

There's a general feeling of hopelessness surrounding the idea of getting the bad ones fixed or replaced, and a great deal of hope that the new ones will somehow be better.

Of course, it's the same ignorant buggers that couldn't get the other ones working doing the 'buying', as it were.

[ng cavscout]

Seanachai:

I just wanted to tell you that that was a very impressive verbal trouncing of urefinger.

[v42below]

Since none of the Olde Ones have already done so, I would like to remind all of you jolly chaps and chapesses that, rather than posting on this thread, one could often do better by choosing to sod off. With that in mind, ta-ta.

v42below

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
Seanachai:

I just wanted to tell you that that was a very impressive verbal trouncing of urefinger. Thank you.

It's not as much fun, of course, as teasing, taunting and tormenting people that, except for the fact that you hate them, you truly like.

Occasionally we of the Peng Challenge must use our skills in disturbing ways.

Many people, including many of our current, rather clueless participants, think that the Peng Challenge Thread is just some sort of weird club you go to to get a game of CM.

It is, in fact, a rather strange club that you use to beat the other members with in the hopes of cracking their skulls and letting in the light of humour, and with it, concievably, intelligence.

[konrad]

http://www.free-online-word-search-puzzles.com/sadness.gif

[urefinger]

Yes, I knew there would be one. I'm afraid you judge me too harshly to assume that I was merely a adrenalin-deprived l12g(!s7 kid, but you are correct in your theory that I derived my greatest pleasure from making you waste your time on a response. However, I smile a secret smile as I pull into coventry, because I know an army of two dozen newly recruited newbs will, over the remaining months and years of this threads life, arrive to dog this thread until the day it dies, and recruitment still goes on.

there'll always be one...

BTW!!! have n0ticed lackof smart funnies on "PEng'" thread plz fix or do somefink!!!

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by v42below:
Since none of the Olde Ones have already done so, I would like to remind all of you jolly chaps and chapesses that, rather than posting on this thread, one could often do better by choosing to sod off. With that in mind, ta-ta.

v42below 'Course it's not as much fun, at least if you've got something to say.

I would have thought a Kiwi, for the love of all the gods, would have gone to the effort of posting a really good taunt here so that we'd have a bit of a work-out on the Aussies.

I don't think that a lot of folk realize how much fun it is here if you've got something you want to go on about in an humourous manner.

I mean, bugger the General Forum. All you get there is weird personal prejudices and very bad tirades. Here a person can really expand on their lunacy.

As long as it's couched in the form of a Challenge, of course. Roughly. In a way. Or proffered as some sort of comment on the way the Thread should go. Or whatever.

[ng cavscout]

(/serious) Not meaning to post here if unwanted, but do you have to be invited in? Or do you just think you are witty enough and jump on in? (/serious)

[PondScum]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

<font size=-1>and all of us have known women.</font>Wait... <font size=-1>even...</font> <font size=-2>Panzer Leader</font>?

You've gone and spoiled my entire sodding world model with that little relevation. This is going to require some serious drinking.

[ July 13, 2003, 07:52 PM: Message edited by: PondScum ]

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
(/serious) Not meaning to post here if unwanted, but do you have to be invited in? Or do you just think you are witty enough and jump on in? (/serious) Invited in?! Gods, Berli's probably just brought beer back out through his nose if he read that one.

No one is ever invited in here. Ever. Just pick out some likely idjit, and taunt and abuse them, hopefully in an humourous way, to a game. Mind, even if they approve of your efforts, they might still tell you to piss off.

But have a go at it. Extra points if you mock and deride the Aussies. Next Thread, we might have a go at someone else. But it won't be the same, of course. Nothing's more vile and objectionable than an Australian.

Do you realize that they keep all their very best beer for themselves?!

They don't export a drop of it. Selfish swine*.

*Boo, please not the correct use of the plural, same as the singular, which, outside the fair State of Ohio, educated people, even Australians, know.

[ July 13, 2003, 08:00 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Joe Shaw]

Seanachai you should indeed beg my pardon. You should in fact plead for my pardon for your lack of ... well, sense I suppose. No excuse, in my mind, that you're the Nice one. No excuse that you hoped some good would come of it. No excuse at all at all. In fact I see a bit of hubris in your response, a glorification of yourself over the good of the CessPool.

Look at lenakonrad ... had we sent HIM to Coventry early on we'd not now be plagued with puzzles for the love of Gawd! Animalgrams or whatever they are they simply must NOT be allowed in this The One The True CessPool. Next there'll be crossedwords and trivia quizzes, you may count on it. AND the Australians will be sore put to erase the marks from their monitors where they've tried to solve the puzzle, let's hope they didn't use indelible markers eh? And what of Boo_Radley ... he's even now trying to think of a way to work "Ylohcnale" into his next conversation to show how erudite he is ... of course in Ohio it'll likely work.

Coventry only works when applied ruthlessly and without exception ... and I'm just the lad for THAT!

So, Seanachai, Bard Of The CessPool though you be, Olde One though you are, you are hearby admonished and TAKEN TO TASK for violating the Proclamation of Coventry. As your punishment I hereby decree that no one will read your next rendition of Celtic Verse ... oh wait ... no one does anyway ... blast.

Joe

[urefinger]

The word is anagrams, you boring, balding, diseased, retarded, racist bastard.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by PondScum:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

<font size=-1>and all of us have known women.</font>Wait... <font size=-1>even...</font> <font size=-2>Panzer Leader</font>?

You've gone and spoiled my entire sodding world model with that little relevation. This is going to require some serious drinking. </font>[/QUOTE]Be not afraid, Pondscum. He has indeed known women. But just to call and ask about social doings. And he's married. But I'm sure his wife has told him 'no'. Or rather, 'NO!'

It's not like he's, well, 'known' them. He probably doesn't know how. Not like Hiram. He simply doens't know when it's time to quietly shut the bedroom door, and spare the imaginations of everyone else the trauma that's rutting away within.

shiver

Now piss off, Pondscum, and stop making everyone uncomfortable. Unless you want me to see to you like I did in our last game!

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Seanachai:
Just so you know, it's not like you're the first little tosser we've had come around jumping up and down with his underpants around his ankles demanding that we all look at him. Damn it, Seanachai! You said that would be our little secret and besides, I already told you I was drunk!

[ng cavscout]

Originally posted by v42below:
Since none of the Olde Ones have already done so, I would like to remind all of you jolly chaps and chapesses that, rather than posting on this thread, one could often do better by choosing to sod off. With that in mind, ta-ta.

v42below So would V42 Below count as an honorary Aussie? Isn't New Zealand kind of like the stunted little Danny DeVito twin to the Arnold Schwarznegger Australia? Of course that in no way lessens the Genetic Vacuum that is Australia. Wasn't it colonized by people not even good enough to be ENGLISH?????

[Nidan1]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by v42below:
Since none of the Olde Ones have already done so, I would like to remind all of you jolly chaps and chapesses that, rather than posting on this thread, one could often do better by choosing to sod off. With that in mind, ta-ta.

v42below So would V42 Below count as an honorary Aussie? Isn't New Zealand kind of like the stunted little Danny DeVito twin to the Arnold Schwarznegger Australia? Of course that in no way lessens the Genetic Vacuum that is Australia. Wasn't it colonized by people not even good enough to be ENGLISH????? </font>[/QUOTE]Woo, Hoo, this one shows a glimmer of promise, the one functioning brain cell he may have left, at least recognized that insulting the Aussies and the Kiwis, is a sure fire way of getting at least a modicum of recognition. I think I will award him with a "Rainbird Oscillating Sprinkler", that only goes to the left.

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by v42below:
Since none of the Olde Ones have already done so, I would like to remind all of you jolly chaps and chapesses that, rather than posting on this thread, one could often do better by choosing to sod off. With that in mind, ta-ta.

v42below So would V42 Below count as an honorary Aussie? Isn't New Zealand kind of like the stunted little Danny DeVito twin to the Arnold Schwarznegger Australia? Of course that in no way lessens the Genetic Vacuum that is Australia. Wasn't it colonized by people not even good enough to be ENGLISH????? </font>[/QUOTE]Hmmmm, not bad lad, not bad at all. No BLATANT, stomping about in combat boots bashing, no hauling out of the claymore with a bellow of rage and a clueless charge straight at the enemy (in the fashion of OGSF who is, let's not forget, Australian) but rather an oblique approach with a distracting wave o'er yonder as the other hand slips the dagger 'neath the ribs.

Rather well done BUT let's not be hasty! Let's see if he can keep it UP ... so to speak, though his email address of familyman and his description of his interests would appear to answer THAT question as well. I, after all, proposed young Sir Real (spelt but not bolded) for Serfdom and he's been far more absent than present lately, not the path to being made Squire to the Shavian House ... not by a good deal. He MUST do better, no error there.

Joe

[ July 13, 2003, 08:27 PM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[Panzer Leader]

Ahem... I don't know about all this "pounding sand" so to speak, but yes.
.
.
.
...Unless you mean this?

http://www.npk.co.jp/pneumatic/english/Image31.gif
"Sand Rammers,Vibrators and One-Punch Hammers"

[PondScum]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

<font size=-1>Now piss off, Pondscum, and stop making everyone uncomfortable. Unless you want me to see to you like I did in our last game! </font>The slaughter... the screaming... the running in terror... the men falling like wheat before the scythe... the wetting of pants... the horror...

Oh, wait, that was YOUR side doing the dying, wasn't it?

Sure, let's do it again. That was FUN.

[ July 13, 2003, 08:33 PM: Message edited by: PondScum ]

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
No excuse at all at all. In fact I see a bit of hubris in your response, a glorification of yourself over the good of the CessPool.Which would, of course, make me simply First Amongst Equals. I could reply, ala General Bullmoose, that what was good for Seanachai, was good for the Cesspool.

But I'm not sure I want to go on record with that one, in case it should ever be reverse-engineered on me.

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

So, Seanachai, Bard Of The CessPool though you be, Olde One though you are, you are hearby admonished and TAKEN TO TASK for violating the Proclamation of Coventry.To paraphrase Terry Pratchett, Joe, and to do so with a true understanding of what he's all about, rather than, as some do, merely being able to quote him to amuse themselves:

Some must speak for the voiceless. And some must speak to those who won't shut-up.

Let me just say, to finish up, Joe, having actually met you:

Balding? Perhaps a bit. Diseased? Very doubtful. Fat? Not even remotely. Racist? Stupidest thing I've read in ages. Boring?

Did I mention that you're not balding so's anyone would notice?

[ July 13, 2003, 08:28 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Nidan1:
I want to share a wonderful experience with all of you...the barnacles are scraped off. I just installed a spinkler system...on my ass. It even has a gadget that senses rain fail and prevents the system from turning on. That's real swell of you to share this with us. Does a light steady amount of moisture prevent barnacles? I wouldn't think so, but then I don't live on an estate. So, how are things on the Pawnderosa?

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Seanachai:
{snipped since it really didn't address the question now did it.}

Did I mention that you're not balding so's anyone would notice? Not since I've made it a practice to emulate Wild Bill Hickock (at least in a manner of speaking) and don't sit with my back to a mirror ... oh and I always fold when dealt aces and eights.

Joe

[urefinger]

the word is H-O-N-O-U-R-A-R-Y you failed-englishman. The reason we sent the turds to australia on great turd-carriers was because America wasn't far enough away.

BTW (UN INTERNATIONAL COURT) plz start v0te on ENGLSIH ppl's having the vet0 on how ENGLISH words are spelt and\or pronounced. PlZ fiz or do somefink...

[urefinger]

this is my puppet, seanachai. I pissed him off so he would growl and show his teeth.

[urefinger]

I still question his ancestory.

[ng cavscout]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by NG cavscout:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by v42below:
Since none of the Olde Ones have already done so, I would like to remind all of you jolly chaps and chapesses that, rather than posting on this thread, one could often do better by choosing to sod off. With that in mind, ta-ta.

v42below So would V42 Below count as an honorary Aussie? Isn't New Zealand kind of like the stunted little Danny DeVito twin to the Arnold Schwarznegger Australia? Of course that in no way lessens the Genetic Vacuum that is Australia. Wasn't it colonized by people not even good enough to be ENGLISH????? </font>[/QUOTE]Hmmmm, not bad lad, not bad at all. No BLATANT, stomping about in combat boots bashing, no hauling out of the claymore with a bellow of rage and a clueless charge straight at the enemy (in the fashion of OGSF who is, let's not forget, Australian) but rather an oblique approach with a distracting wave o'er yonder as the other hand slips the dagger 'neath the ribs.

Rather well done BUT let's not be hasty! Let's see if he can keep it UP ... so to speak, though his email address of familyman and his description of his interests would appear to answer THAT question as well. I, after all, proposed young Sir Real (spelt but not bolded) for Serfdom and he's been far more absent than present lately, not the path to being made Squire to the Shavian House ... not by a good deal. He MUST do better, no error there.

Joe </font>[/QUOTE]I wouldn't want to come in yelling, screaming, and generally making an ass of myself, (I am sure I will do that soon enough), making so much noise might scare vb42below's date off, sheep are known to be rather skittish after all.... Although, being from New Zealand, I am sure he has an ample supply.

(serious/) What is the deal with the "Squires" and the "wifes" and other little tidbits on the sig lines?(serious/)

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
oh and I always fold when dealt aces and eights.

Joe Don't be daft. How many aces and eights?! Could be a damn good hand.

I have never argued with you about Coventry, Joe. Hell, back in the day, I was the first to suggest it. But you must never forget my tender heart, burning with forgivnance and the need to tell people to shut the hell up.

And Pondscum, you nasty little posseur. Send me a setup. Although I'm sure you'll be several days finding as nasty a rigged scenario as you did the last time, you great, bloody, cloth-headed berk.

I can still hear the weeping of my men...

[urefinger]

you're talking and that's a good thing.

BT - get together

[ng cavscout]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
the good of the CessPool.

AND the Australians will be sore put to erase the marks from their monitors where they've tried to solve the puzzle, let's hope they didn't use indelible markers eh?

Joe I think you are too generous. You presuppose, first, the possession of opposable thumbs (needed to manipulate the "magic sticks", also known to non-Aussies as "indelible markers")by the sub-race known as "Aussies". Second, the ability of the forebrain lackers to decipher the technological marvel known as "The Alphabet".

[rleete]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Next there'll be crossedwords and trivia quizzes, you may count on it.Well, Old Foul One, you asked for it! I mean, if you say we can count on it, well, then it must be true.

And as an anniversary present from the lovely wife, I just finished watching Kelly's Heroes for the umpteenth time. (All the burning bridges...) Damn, what a flick. So, at your request it's....

Trivia Time!

Movie grog [need to get out more] question: What are the turret numbers of the German "Tiger" tanks in the town?

Super movie grog [need a life] question: Of the so-called Tigers in the square, which one survives? (i.e., the turret number, you dolts, not "gee, the one that didn't blowed up")

Bonus [man, your parents must be sooo proud] question: What unit are these tanks from?

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
{snipped ... mostly because I could}
(serious/) What is the deal with the "Squires" and the "wifes" and other little tidbits on the sig lines?(serious/) Damn your impudenence sir, when you need to know you'll be told until then you DON'T need to know!

Don't presume that, on the basis of one good post, you're to be met with cheers an a rousing chorus of "Consider Yourself Well Off!". You are an SSN, a Scum Sucking Newbie and don't you forget it. In fact you'd do far better to just SOD OFF now and save us the effort of having to repeat ourselves later.

So FEW actually pass the mustard you know ... some pass the ketchup but that's another story. I'll give you a clue though, because while I AM the Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread and referred to in hushed and awed tones as The Cudgel of the CessPool ... well, it's not ALWAYS completely deserved. I TOO have a sentimental streak in my nature and will, at times, dash a goblet of wine in a fellow's face as he's being stretched on the rack ... I know, I know, I shouldn't be so easy on them but dash it all they are just so cute lying there screaming like that.

Where was I ... oh yes ... IF, and mind you it's a very large and questionable IF, IF you continue to post in the fashion you've begun and IF you stick around and IF you show enough deference to those greater than you can ever hope to be ... which is just about everyone here except for those other unfortunate SSNs, you MIGHT be proposed as a Serf to The CessPool and after that ... well, no need to delve into the fantasy quite yet is there.

OH say lads, what name shall we propose for this SSN? Obviously if he's ever proposed for Serf we'll have to spell it correctly but in the meantime ... hmmmm ...

Joe

[ July 13, 2003, 08:57 PM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
So would V42 Below count as an honorary Aussie? Isn't New Zealand kind of like the stunted little Danny DeVito twin to the Arnold Schwarznegger Australia? Of course that in no way lessens the Genetic Vacuum that is Australia. Wasn't it colonized by people not even good enough to be ENGLISH????? This was only so-so, if mildly amusing, but then, with the last sentence, it just soared!

I imagine it pissed off the Aussies and the English.

But he still needs to try harder. Someone give the bugger a game. Nidan, are you doing anything besides marvelling over the fact that technology can keep grass from dying? Because I'd hate to interrupt anything truly significant, like some New York lackwit marvelling over the sustaining powers of water on plantlife.

Hey, NG Cavscout, or whatever, insult Nidan. Bugger needs to have less time on his hands.

[rleete]

Originally posted by Seanachai:
It comes, I think, out of the experience of having children. Or, in many cases, watching that process.Oh, say it ain't so. He's got eleven of the damn sprinklers...

[ng cavscout]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by NG cavscout:
{snipped ... mostly because I could}
(serious/) What is the deal with the "Squires" and the "wifes" and other little tidbits on the sig lines?(serious/) Damn your impudenence sir, when you need to know you'll be told until then you DON'T need to know!

(snipped for effect)
I TOO have a sentamental streak in my nature and will, at times, dash a goblet of wine in a fellow's face as he's being stretched on the rack ... I know, I know, I shouldn't be so easy on them but dash it all they are just so cute lying there screaming like that.
(snipped again)

OH say lads, what name shall we propose for this SSN? Obviously if he's ever proposed for Serf we'll have to spell it correctly but in the meantime ... hmmmm ...

Joe </font>[/QUOTE]umm, ok, I get it, o grand master of ... ummm... whatever. This is a test for the lowly newb. lets see, serf is spelled, well, serf, and sentamental is actually spelled sentimental. You almost got me there, I actually thought you made a mistake. Are you from Australia by chance?

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by R_Leete:

Bonus [man, your parents must be sooo proud] question: What unit are these tanks from? Can't remember ****e about the turret numbers, but they must have been from the Liebstandarte, because I remember the keys on the turrets.

I suppose I could fire-up the DVD that Berli left here as some sort of weird 'blessings on this house' after his first visit with Peng but I'm too caught up in ratting about in the fridge for yet another beer.

Man, that was a great visit. Did I mention that Berli and Peng were really, really drunk and climbed the tree in back of my building? And that this is a really small tree for two lunatics to be in at the same time?

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by R_Leete:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:
It comes, I think, out of the experience of having children. Or, in many cases, watching that process.Oh, say it ain't so. He's got eleven of the damn sprinklers... </font>[/QUOTE]Never fear, lad. It's said that 'those who can't do, have eleven goddamn sprinkler's rotting in their garage'. Or something like that.

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by NG cavscout:
{snipped ... mostly because I could}
(serious/) What is the deal with the "Squires" and the "wifes" and other little tidbits on the sig lines?(serious/) Damn your impudenence sir, when you need to know you'll be told until then you DON'T need to know!

(snipped for effect)
I TOO have a sentamental streak in my nature and will, at times, dash a goblet of wine in a fellow's face as he's being stretched on the rack ... I know, I know, I shouldn't be so easy on them but dash it all they are just so cute lying there screaming like that.
(snipped again)

OH say lads, what name shall we propose for this SSN? Obviously if he's ever proposed for Serf we'll have to spell it correctly but in the meantime ... hmmmm ...

Joe </font>[/QUOTE]umm, ok, I get it, o grand master of ... ummm... whatever. This is a test for the lowly newb. lets see, serf is spelled, well, serf, and sentamental is actually spelled sentimental. You almost got me there, I actually thought you made a mistake. Are you from Australia by chance? </font>[/QUOTE]A MINOR error brought on by my disgust at your attitude sir, AND corrected promptly I might add.

Son ... may I call you son, all mine are dead or still locked in dungeons for not showing proper respect, son you need to start small and work your way up. I am the Knight Champion of the MBT, Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread and CessPool Drain Commission. NOT to mention, though I believe I shall, the founder of the noble and feared Shavian House AND the most Seniour of Seniour Knights of the CessPool. That's like starting very nearly at the top of the ladder.

HOWEVER ... as I'm not ALWAYS the Cudgel Of The CessPool I shall grant you a boon. You're to be my opponent in a game of CMBB ... let's see what's a good scenario for the lad? Hmmmm ... I KNOW, how about something from the design studio of Ker Dessel*? Perhaps a new little gem called IL Be Seeing You?

I'll be the Russians, you get the Germans. Damn ... this act of kindness thing is rather refreshing ... in a perverted sort of way.

Now don't forget lad, it's by your words that you shall be judged, so we EXPECT to see some sterling prose in your AARs on this epic bout.

Joe

* Ker Dessel - When You Want To Play CM In The Worst Way

[ng cavscout]

hmmm, sprinklers.

Ok, Nidan1, if you can spare some time from obsessively fondling your malfunctioning lawn care equipment, maybe you can show me some of the tactical ability you show in your shopping habits? And after the game, if you want, I can explain how to use the fact that they have a LIFETIME GAURANTEE to your advantage, by, like, exchanging them....

[rleete]

Originally posted by Seanachai:
Can't remember ****e about the turret numbers, but they must have been from the Liebstandarte, because I remember the keys on the turrets.Unit grog. Been cuddling with Dorosh again? Hmmm? And there definitely is something wrong with that.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
umm, ok, I get it, o grand master of ... ummm... whatever. This is a test for the lowly newb. lets see, serf is spelled, well, serf, and sentamental is actually spelled sentimental. You almost got me there, I actually thought you made a mistake. Are you from Australia by chance? Here, now! You're never going to get anywhere mocking Shaw's spelling or useage, for God's sake.

stern look

That's not the way we do it.

Make fun of the fact that he's a balding, possibly diseased, rake-thin, non-racist and unbelievably boring posturing know-it-all, lad, and you'll be fine.

Oh! That's right! We've got another Newcomer. Look up the posts of Sir Real and give that bugger some serious ****e.

Then you'll both be gainfully employed; you with abusing him, and him with reading it.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by R_Leete:
Been cuddling with Dorosh again? Hmmm? And there definitely is something wrong with that. You know, there's a lot of good cuddling on a Dorosh.

I mean, if you're prepared to sacrifice someone else to do it.

Better all round, probably, to just kill them and use the bones to make soup. Most people'd prefer it.

[urefinger]

I guess it's up to me then. It's CUT the mustard you retarded little yank.

[Seanachai]

Hey, Leete, you daft sod, I just caught up with your signature.

When, why and where did Madmatt say that?

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
I shall grant you a boon. You're to be my opponent in a game of CMBB Don't you worry your pretty little head, Cavy-snout. You'll be fighting the Codger of the CessPool. After a turn or two, he'll forget your game and wander off looking for pudding or some Melba toast to suck on.
Never fails.

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
I shall grant you a boon. You're to be my opponent in a game of CMBB Don't you worry your pretty little head, Cavy-snout. You'll be fighting the Codger of the CessPool. After a turn or two, he'll forget your game and wander off looking for pudding or some Melba toast to suck on.
Never fails. </font>[/QUOTE]It's CUDGEL damnit, CUDGEL!

Joe

p.s. Cavy Snout isn't too good is it ... of course YOU came up with it so we get what we pay for.

[ng cavscout]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

(snipped)

p.s. Cavy Snout isn't too good is it ... of course YOU came up with it so we get what we pay for. [/QB]We have to make allowances. He is after all from Ohio

Ohioannes are known for their corn, not their intellectual capacities. And the Buckeyes, or Hawkeyes, or Browneyes, or somesuch...

[ng cavscout]

Well, this is nice. I am always amazed at the camaraderie and general niceness of the CM community. Here I am, an SSN, scum sucking newbie, (I didn't even know what SSN meant before tonight, I thought there was some modern naval mod that I hadn't found yet) and a true knight of the community, Joe Shaw, takes me under his wing.

Right now, Joe is showing me how to do PBEM, my second foray into it. He is playing the "il be seeing you". I just set up, and I have just tons of great late war German armor. I am sure that I will learn gobs and gobs from this. Thanks again guys, I am really amazed at the squishy marshmallow center I found underneath your hard, scaly, downright mean exteriors.


It almost makes me misty when I find such a nice bunch of guys.

[ July 13, 2003, 10:48 PM: Message edited by: NG cavscout ]

[rleete]

Originally posted by Seanachai:
[QB] Hey, Leete, you dashing knight, I just caught up with your signature.

When, why and where did Madmatt say that?One of the past locked threads. Someone was being a duoofus. They were discussing smegma (http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=9;t=008761) of all things. I suppose they have to "stick" with what they know.

[Noba]

Originally posted by Seanachai:
Noba, you're a fetid pile of dingo kidneys. And a git.

Well, well, our first Challenge pledge. We are standing by the Thread right now, ready to abuse Australia and Australians for each Challenge posted here on the Peng Challenge Thread.

Come on, people! How 'bout some real Challenges?! Something that merits some serious Aussie bashing!

Gods above, if it continues like this, I'm going to have to start saying something nice about the bastards. [The sound of a swiftly passing gust of wind. The smell of rank breathing, close by. The echoing of lost words, unheard by closed ears]

No, not some lost remnant of worthwhile prose. Just the silly old bugger of a GNOME whom doesn't know when to shut up. Us lucky buggers living in GodsOwn don't deal with Ex Colonial trash.

That's not a challenge. And it will be a waste to answer it. I'm away for at least 3 weeks, and to offer you a response by a set-up would be pointless... (I know YOU have the pointy hat) But on second thoughts, you send one turn about every 3 weeks........Nah.

Sod off.

Noba.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
Well, this is nice. I am always amazed at the camaraderie and general niceness of the CM community. Here I am, a SSN, scum sucking newbie, (I didn't even know what SSN meant before tonight, I thought there was some modern naval mod that I hadn't found yet) and a true knight of the community, Joe Shaw, takes me under his wing.Yes. Well, the general community doesn't use the term 'SSN'. That's peculiar to this place.

And as for Shaw taking you under his wing...how good are you at gnawing off one of your own limbs in an emergency? Did you see that bit about the rock-climber who cut off his own arm with a dull pocket knife in order to escape hanging by it from a cliff and dying of exposure, thirst and starvation? Pretty soon you're going to regard him as an under-motivated little silky boy who didn't understand what true pain was like.

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
Right now, Joe is showing me how to do PBEM, my second foray into it. He is playing the "il be seeing you". I just set up, and I have just tons of great late war German armor. I am sure that I will learn gobs and gobs from this. Yes, you will. What you'll mainly learn is that underneath Joe Shaw's fussy, headmaster, 'point of order' exterior lies a truly, truly vile incarnation of your own father, whatever your feelings about him might be. And we all know what your father did to your mother, now don't we? Picture that, and then try and enjoy yourself.

It doesn't matter how much you scream, or hold your hands over your ears while singing Christmas carols, because Shaw and his hideous joke scenarios will have exactly the same effect on your life.

If we turn you over to Berli, it will come as a sort of unsought and unrealized mercy. Because once you've seen how awful the day to day grinning idjits are in the Peng Challenge, then a quick boot in the groin from the Prince of Darkness will seem like a clap on the shoulder from an overly familiar CO by comparison.

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
Thanks again guys, I am really amazed at the squishy marshmallow center I found underneath your hard, scaly, downright mean exteriors.

It almost makes me misty when I find such a nice bunch of guys. Keep that thought. If you still feel that way in a few weeks, and can still articulate it, I'd be more than happy to show you the very real error of your ways of thinking. No charge.

It's all right to attempt that sort of bravado in the face of the Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread, because, after all, he's bound himself by his own rules.

But don't go after that sort of poncing about with one of the Olde Ones. Not even me, and I'm the 'Nice One'. Because, once we come to know you, lad, we know you. And there's no one that knows people like a vivisectionist.

So you go give some ****e to SirReal, and worry a bit less about the marshmallows, and remember that Joe Shaw has actually come to my house, eaten my food, and dumped all my bloody silverware on the bloody floor.

Christ, did he ever look like a pillock, standing there with the drawer swinging free from his hand.

And that he's still a more significant disturbance of ether than you are, because he looked up at me and said: 'Why don't you fix this bloody drawer, you half-witted dwarf bastard?!'

[ July 13, 2003, 10:55 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[ng cavscout]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

(snipped)
What you'll mainly learn is that underneath Joe Shaw's fussy, headmaster, 'point of order' exterior lies a truly, truly vile incarnation of your own father, whatever your feelings about him might be. And we all know what your father did to your mother, now don't we? Picture that, and then try and enjoy yourself.

(So, maybe I should of been concerned that he said to meet him in the abandoned factory by the river and bring a big tub of lard?)


And that he's still a more significant disturbance of ether than you are, because he looked up at me and said: 'Why don't you fix this bloody drawer, you half-witted dwarf bastard?!' [/QB]Don't take it personally, I am sure it isn't your fault that you are a half-witted dwarf bastard. We can't help what we are, we just have to carry on as best we can. I mean, you are really doing great, working with all those handicaps, and doubly cursed with the Freaking Vikings and that pot head Randy Moss. And never forget that we are all very proud of you, and rooting for you every day, YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!

[urefinger]

I FOUND THE CAPS LOCK KEY 11111111111 tongue.gif

[ July 13, 2003, 11:12 PM: Message edited by: urefinger ]

[urefinger]

Frstly, I think the example you are driving at is the one involving the farmer with his hand stuck in a c-harvester and having to hack it off with a swiss army knife, you ****tard. Secondly, it is unsuprising that he ate all your food because he is - after all - only american and as such, is geneticly programmed to shovle any and all digestable garbage down his face. And thirdly, you live in a house now? last I knew you was in the c-box outside quickies off the corner of church and bold lighting the methane off dog****s for your central heating, my haven't you pulled yourself ou....dragged yourself ba.....moved yourself ALONG the gutter

[ July 13, 2003, 11:18 PM: Message edited by: urefinger ]

[Joe Shaw]

It doesn't matter how much you scream, or hold your hands over your ears while singing Christmas carols, because Shaw and his hideous joke scenarios will have exactly the same effect on your life.JOKE Scenario? JOKE? How dare you call a carefully crafted and exquisitely balanced Ker Dessel* scenario a JOKE Scenario? HOW DARE YOU?

I don't see YOUR name on any scenarios whilst MINE is associated with such classics as Jabo!, Kursk You Red Baron, But It's A DRY Heat, Let's Get Papa Khann Out Of The House Then Shall We? and many others. It's EASY to complain and belittle Seanachai, but I thought more of you than base liebel ... or is it slander?

Joe


* Ker Dessel - When You Want To Play CM In The Worst Way.

[ng cavscout]

Seanachai:

You are sure that making fun of spelling is out of bounds?

[urefinger]

for a ****tard like you, yes. for me nein.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
We can't help what we are, we just have to carry on as best we can.Bah! I wave my hand at you. You carry on, lad.

You may be happy to grin and pull the forelock, and make a slight slurping noise as you retract the excess drool from the corners of your mouth as you gear up to describe how happy you are that nature saw fit to let you muddy the gene pool on your passage through a life that would intellectually shame a ground squirrel, but I shall take pride in the fact that, half-witted dwarf bastard that I may or may not be, I'm a self-made man!

No one would own up to my existence. I am what I am. You are what I see. Now bugger off, and annoy the little people.

[Joe Shaw]

AAR ...


<large>BOOM!</large>


End of AAR.

Joe

[urefinger]

I really can't understand why someone would actually DESIGN themselves as a bag of ****... still, each to their own.

[urefinger]

I just burnt my sausages for my nice full english breakfast...

[ng cavscout]

Originally posted by Seanachai:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by NG cavscout:
We can't help what we are, we just have to carry on as best we can.Bah! I wave my hand at you. You carry on, lad.

You may be happy to grin and pull the forelock, and make a slight slurping noise as you retract the excess drool from the corners of your mouth as you gear up to describe how happy you are that nature saw fit to let you muddy the gene pool on your passage through a life that would intellectually shame a ground squirrel, but I shall take pride in the fact that, half-witted dwarf bastard that I may or may not be, I'm a self-made man!

No one would own up to my existence. I am what I am. You are what I see. Now bugger off, and annoy the little people. </font>[/QUOTE]dang, were you saying something? Sorry, you are going to have to speak up, you have such a small shrill, and my ears are ringing from the rockets Joe Shaw's Sturmovik's are peppering my forces with.

and I like pulling my forelock. I pull it in the morning, and I pull it in the evening. I pull it in the hall, and I pull it in the mall.

I would pull it in the stall, but I am much too tall.

[Seanachai]

It's important to remember that, while the Moderators and BFC allow us a certain amount of latitude, and while we normally police ourselves, everyone has agreed to the rules of this forum.

And that people who repeatedly and abusively ignore the rules they've agreed to will be banned from this Board.

Even those who do it here, in the Peng Challenge. All it takes, of course, is for members of this Forum to complain to BFC about the behaviour of a poster.

So perhaps it's time for someone to play elsewhere.

[urefinger]

Was that some poor attempt at a threat?

[urefinger]

Actually that was rather a good point, you better sort yourself out seanachai or I'll tell madmatt on you for swearing at me

[Leeo]

I like beer. I like expensive beer, cheap beer, lite beer, dark beer, I even like Sheaf's Stout, though it is from Australia. I like beer with snacks, beer while I'm working, beer while I'm playing, I even like to redrink the little bit of beer that burps up sometimes when I lay sleeping. I like the kind of beer made in big factories and in private basements. Fortified beer, which some may call malt liquor, I like as well. I like beer on hot days, cold days, sweaty nights, and in twilight.

Beer likes me too. It seeks me out and strives for the comfort of my hand like a cowboy longs for the saddle. It calls to me from the supermarkets and convenience stores, from the coolers at the beaches, and the kegs in the taverns.

However, as convivial as is my relationship with beer, and as drawn as we are unto each other, our strength of association and love for each other is merely a pale counterpoint to the loathing with which I hold all of you denizens of the pool.

And you may count yourself lucky at that.

[urefinger]

That was beutifull.

[Seanachai]

Ah, Shaw, it is hard for me to admit that sometimes your way is the best.

It seems, now, that I am to be banned. I am old, and tired, and, of course just a wee bit daft, and so, I welcome it.

Some one do me the great good favour of forwarding my comments and urefinger's to the Moderators, and ask them to ban us both.

I promise to go quietly, so long as I do not go alone.

It will be quite restful on the other side, I have no doubt.

[urefinger]

AH! a most noble decision, there is no greater honour than to die in battle! (as I belive, YOU often do) you can be sure that I - as we face the blackness that dominates the unvierse on either side of the circle of light we call the "Universe" - consider you my BROTHER.

(WWWWWURRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGG - sorry, i just couldn't hold it in anymore the idea of being realted to you...)

[ng cavscout]

Originally posted by Seanachai:
Ah, Shaw, it is hard for me to admit that sometimes your way is the best.

It seems, now, that I am to be banned. I am old, and tired, and, of course just a wee bit daft, and so, I welcome it.

Some one do me the great good favour of forwarding my comments and urefinger's to the Moderators, and ask them to ban us both.

I promise to go quietly, so long as I do not go alone.

It will be quite restful on the other side, I have no doubt. Plus you are from Minestrone, or whatever you call it, the state that had the wrestler as governor, Death would have a certain appeal to you I guess. Well, as long as it keeps you off of our lovely Wisconsin roads. You would think that "the state of 6 lakes" would have enough vacation spots for its own denizens without having them spill over the border into "God's Country" and swarm over the land like cockroaches scuttling across Nidan1's kitchen when the parole officer turns on the light.

[urefinger]

oh, my eye's have seen the glory of........

here it comes..........

[urefinger]

I like to whistle that song and i dont know any of the dam words - what are they anyway?

[MrSpkr]

I miss YK2.

I miss Persephone.

I even miss Speedbump, but for entirely different reasons.

It is good to hop back in and see some things haven't changed. You all know what I mean, but few of you will admit it.

Steve

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:
You all know what I mean, but few of you will admit it.

Steve If we admit what we've lost, then we might as well admit that we have lost.

I never wanted to go quietly into that good night.

But perhaps there is no alternative.

[Joe Shaw]

MrSpkr, a word with you sir!

Is it liebel or slander when Seanachai accuses me of foisting a Joke scenario on an SSN?

What are your fees?

If the scenario in question is a Ker Dessel* scenario would you have to recus ... reexcus ... recuss ... bow out of the litigation?

What are your fees?

Just exactly how much "truth" would there have to be for me to lose?

What are your fees?

Joe

p.s. What in the world are you on about?

* Ker Dessel - When You Want To Play CM In THe Worst Way!

[ July 14, 2003, 12:34 AM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by Seanachai:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by MrSpkr:
You all know what I mean, but few of you will admit it.

Steve If we admit what we've lost, then we might as well admit that we have lost.

I never wanted to go quietly into that good night.

But perhaps there is no alternative. </font>[/QUOTE]Merely a skrimish, not the battle nor the war.

There is always tomorrow . . .

Steve

[Noba]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:
I miss YK2.

I miss Persephone.

I even miss Speedbump, but for entirely different reasons.

It is good to hop back in and see some things haven't changed. You all know what I mean, but few of you will admit it.

Steve Been "working" on the olde 'Website' ? Have we...??

Noba.

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
MrSpkr, a word with you sir!

Is it liebel or slander when Seanachai accuses me of foisting a Joke scenario on an SSN?

What are your fees?Standard rates apply - $175 per hour, 20 hour retainer.

If the scenario in question is a Ker Dessel* scenario would you have to recus ... reexcus ... recuss ... bow out of the litigation?Not if there is a dollar to be made.

What are your fees?For you, the bargain price of $200 per hour, 40 hour minimum. Payment in advance.

Just exactly how much "truth" would there have to be for me to lose?Ask Dana Scully.

What are your fees?For you, the low low price of $250 per hour, 50 hour minimum, payable in advance.

Steve

* Ker Dessel - When You Want To Play CM In The Worst Way!

[ July 14, 2003, 12:51 AM: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

[urefinger]

Is this it (-picks up piece of card-) nahhhh, it's just mr spkr's gaycard (-gives mr spkr his gay card back-) don't lose it again you douchbag (-nods, unzips pants, bends over-)

[v42below]

Since I have no intention of posting on this thread in the future, except to make irrelevant coments in order to get rid of my junior member status, I will speak in plain English (at least my version thereof). I appologise for any mistakes I make - English is my second language.

You may have heard this quote before (I assume most of you can hear, if even with the help of hearing aids): "Assumption is the mother of all f**k ups".

I am not now, nor was I ever a Kiwi/New Zealander/Sheep shagger, or any other term you would use to refer to those born and bred in this wonderful land. New Zealand is my location - surely you old farts, claiming to be esteemed (if even virtual) soldiers can still tell the difference between nationality and location.

Generally, as much as I may dislike Australians, I find your humourous abuse of this nation rather offensive, and yes, somewhat amusing. Having read through the old peng threads, I noted that the true Cesspoolers never mocked individuals or groups based on their nationality.

Tell me what is it that makes you feel so threatened by the funny talking Australians? Is it that a country, which started out as a colony of convicts, now has a higher, or at least comparable, standard of life to that of the US and UK? Is it that they have become one of the leading sporting nations?

I for one think that New Zealanders and Australians deserve far more respect for their actions in WWII than either the US or the UK. They answered the call and joined a war that was not theirs to fight. They fought in the heat of the desert, whilst most of the rest of the Allies picked their arses, sitting safely across the channel (with the exception of the RAF).

In any case, I look forward to reading your witty abuse in my spare time.

[urefinger]

Ah! a man after my very own heart, many have made the mistake that you have, meiner freunden. Cruel and unusual is the heart of this thread and for many years it has withstood the inquiries of class A n00bz such as youreself and me. I would leave it alone if i were you...the moderators let these people do what they like, if you were to start a thread on a similair vein you would be banned for racism. Nevertheless, I will stay so as to dog them constantly and let them know that the spirit of n00bz can never be crushed - as represents my title as defender of coventry. go my son, and speak not of this putrid thread ever again

[MrSpkr]

No no no -- hating Australians and Canadians is a time-honored Cesspool tradition.

It's not that we hate everyone else any less, it that we hate them that much more.

Steve

[urefinger]

Spoken like a true coward...

[v42below]

urefinger - if there's room for two annoying n00bs on this page, I will be more than happy to join you.

How are you gentlemen !!
You are on the way to destruction
You have no chance to survive make your time

Ä|| Ýøü® cꧧp•º| ®è ßë|•ñg †º µ§


---Cats

[konrad]

So ,I'm taking some time from my very busy shedule ,thinking ,hey ,I post some poetry for my fellow imbeciles at Peng Challenge Thread ,just to be a nice ,and what ?!!
Joe putting my name next to Coventry.
ME ,sir Konrad ,faithful Squire to sir Aussiejeff ,proud owner of Jim Boggs butts ...
and Coventry...
And why ? 'cause its puzzle ? too difficult ?

Herr Justicar ,I have to say this ,You are a idiot .
Now ,if you excuse me ,there is a lot of quests for me to do.

PS:old times are always good ,trick is to behave ,like it is always beginning.
PS2: because it is always beginning
PS 3: urineonmyfingers is a moron.

[Mace]

Originally posted by v42below:
Tell me what is it that makes you feel so threatened by the funny talking Australians?Jealousy.

Mace

[Mace]

..oh and great beer

[Mace]

..beautiful, down to earth women...

[Mace]

...and totally unspoilt (by not having any of you bastages living here)

Mace

[ July 14, 2003, 04:54 AM: Message edited by: Mace ]

[SirReal]

This is outrageous! I spend two weeks dutifully checking my mail for incoming turns, and then I get bashed by Joe Shaw for, well, not bashing!

Perhaps the high and mighty Just-a-car should spend his precious few minutes that he is allowed unsupervised with licking the wings off dead houseflies, instead of harassing defenseless serfs like moi^*.

I certainly don't need his inexpert opinion, advice or frothing screams. I'll have you know that unlike that disgusting piece of a rusty exhaust pipe, the SSN wazpillow (or whatever), I figured out what SSN means without any help whatsoever! This, of course, is an accomplishment few can credit themselves with.

Finally, it is unseemly that the Knight Champion of the M.B.T is so shamelessly exposing himself and his tender parts in pathetically begging for new unsuspecting meat to enter his Shaved House. If he really needs new flesh so bad, why not take a trip to Coventry? I'm sure there are plenty of trembling loins for him to covet over there.

/SirReal

^* Note the clever use of french to appear intelligent and well educated. Not bad, eh?

[Jim Boggs]

Originally posted by lenakonrad:
http://www.free-online-word-search-puzzles.com/sadness.gif lenakonrad

Deciphering your puzzle has left me somewhat troubled by your message.

I am hoping all is well?

If not, please send me an E-mail at my home.

Your faithful Squire

[ng cavscout]

Sirreal:

Hey, I am not rusty at all, I am rather well lubed, thank you very much.

wazpillow ? That doesn't even make sense, it is something I would expect from an Ohioanne, not a Sweat.

I am glad that you gave up your neutrality, world famous porn, and Sauna long enough to drip on the keyboard. I have heard so much about you, it is good to finally smell... er, I mean see you.

[Hiram Sedai]

Errr...what? Did someone challenge me? I was reading through these pages of tripe and thought I saw somefink. Hmm...mebbe not.

I wonder how Lord General Mister Bill is doing these days.

[Nidan1]

Originally posted by Seanachai:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by NG cavscout:
So would V42 Below count as an honorary Aussie? Isn't New Zealand kind of like the stunted little Danny DeVito twin to the Arnold Schwarznegger Australia? Of course that in no way lessens the Genetic Vacuum that is Australia. Wasn't it colonized by people not even good enough to be ENGLISH????? This was only so-so, if mildly amusing, but then, with the last sentence, it just soared!

I imagine it pissed off the Aussies and the English.

But he still needs to try harder. Someone give the bugger a game. Nidan, are you doing anything besides marvelling over the fact that technology can keep grass from dying? Because I'd hate to interrupt anything truly significant, like some New York lackwit marvelling over the sustaining powers of water on plantlife.

Hey, NG Cavscout, or whatever, insult Nidan. Bugger needs to have less time on his hands. </font>[/QUOTE]My dear Seanachai , in today's modern work a day world of high tech and terror threats. The simple act of communing with the basic forces of nature can replenish one's soul, and restore the natural balance, that we all need from time to time. I do suppose that because this blighter "no good Cavscout", lives in your neck of the woods, you would adopt him out of pity, reinforcing the old adage that "Misery loves Company"
It says in his profile that he is a PO, looking foer a new department. I guess the squad that checks for contraband under the cheesehead hats at the Packer's games has been taken over by the Office of Homeland Security. If he can come up with something better than his last post, I might consider it, however I am still in the process of blackening your eye, dear Seanachai , and I would love to continue, if you would deign "TO SEND A FECKING TURN"

[rune]

Welp....thinking about this, I went through the Thread at least 3 times, and JoeBob never actually claimed Scout as a serf. So, what better way to get under Joebob's skin, kinda like the small lice he has trained under the logo of House Shaw . Besides, what better way to make a serf suffer then knowning that he must report...to an Ex-Navy man.

So, as one of the Senior Knights, I use my right and claim first claim on NG cavscout, placing him under House Rune, .

To further inflict pain, No Good cav scout, pick a member of House Shaw and I will be sending you Rourke's Drift to play two player.

I now go back to working on that which cannot be named...

Rune

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by rune:
Welp....thinking about this, I went through the Thread at least 3 times, and JoeBob never actually claimed Scout as a serf. So, what better way to get under Joebob's skin, kinda like the small lice he has trained under the logo of House Shaw . Besides, what better way to make a serf suffer then knowning that he must report...to an Ex-Navy man.

So, as one of the Senior Knights, I use my right and claim first claim on NG cavscout, placing him under House Rune, .

To further inflict pain, No Good cav scout, pick a member of House Shaw and I will be sending you Rourke's Drift to play two player.

I now go back to working on that which cannot be named...

Rune Dear rune, may I call you ruin? Look goofball, if I had WANTED to take NG Havespout to Squire or proposed him for serf I'd have done so. No, I suggested that he MIGHT be made of the right stuff but that TIME WOULD TELL. Trust YOU to jump the gun and propose him for Serf before he's been adjudged ready.

Nonetheless, I hereby acknowledge by the powers vested in me by the Olde Ones that NG CavScout (what the hell does NG stand for anyway ... New Guy?) is and shall be a serf of the ENTIRE CessPool until such time as he is proposed for Squiredom by his sponsor AND that status is conferred by the Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread acting on behalf of the Olde Ones.

In OTHER WORDS rune, give the lad a bit of time and let's see how he conducts himself. THEN we can make him Squire to you ... of all the horrendous fates.

Serf Sir Real (spelt but not bolded) ... one does not make one's mark upon the roll of the CessPool by sitting around and WAITING for things to happen. You must pursue your goal lad, post here frequently but not too frequently, if you have no turns then USE the opportunity to berate those who are not providing you with the grist for your writer's mill. In other words lad ... Show Us That You Care!

Joe

[ July 14, 2003, 10:08 AM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[Lars]

Ah, a telethon for Australia. You've really been sucking on the bottom of the Lysol can this time Seanachai.

Even Jerry Lewis recognized that crippled children had a better chance of becoming worthwhile contributors to society. Perhaps you should turn your efforts to greasing the wheel locks on their chairs. Tall hills and small, helpless children. The world does sorely need a laugh.

But Aussies? You might as well hope for a rebound in the platypus fur market.

SSN Hint Of The Day: Adjust your underwear in public.

Now sod off.

[Jim Boggs]

151 posts since Friday Night?

Who put real coffee in Seanachai's
coffee cup?

You all know non-alcoholic beverages do not agree with him.

[rune]

Joebob ,

I just wanted to spare him the ignomy of being recruited by House Shaw . Which is like being called an Aussie who thinks Mormon women look good, such as yourself. Yes, Yes, Yes, you will deny it, saying you are from Texas...but is there a difference? Look at Mr. Spkr , if you can stomach it, does he not have that gleam in his eye when passing sheep? Isn't Texas about as exciting as Australia? There is nothing in the midlands of each... the general IQ is about the same, about 2.3. Heck, you even both follow terrible football teams.

If you demand satisfaction...well, other then it being a first, set Sir Real upon No Good Cavscout, and I will forward Rourke's Drift to them both.

NG Cav....arrange a beating of Joebob's serf, and a full AAR young man, to prove your worth. Now go forth and taunt Sir Real, let us see how you do.


Rune

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by rune:
Joebob ,

I just wanted to spare him the ignomy of being recruited by House Shaw . Which is like being called an Aussie who thinks Mormon women look good, such as yourself. Yes, Yes, Yes, you will deny it, saying you are from Texas...but is there a difference? Look at Mr. Spkr , if you can stomach it, does he not have that gleam in his eye when passing sheep? Isn't Texas about as exciting as Australia? There is nothing in the midlands of each... the general IQ is about the same, about 2.3. Heck, you even both follow terrible football teams.

If you demand satisfaction...well, other then it being a first, set Sir Real upon No Good Cavscout, and I will forward Rourke's Drift to them both.

NG Cav....arrange a beating of Joebob's serf, and a full AAR young man, to prove your worth. Now go forth and taunt Sir Real, let us see how you do.


Rune rune you unutterable geek, in the first place Sir Real (spelt but not bolded) is a mere Serf and not technically part of my House. I DO have first rights of refusal IF he should prove worthy of being a Squire. As a result I couldn't care less who he plays or indeed IF he plays anyone.

You, on the other hand (the OTHER hand you idiot) are obviously not as discerning and will take any NG CavScout (spelt but not bolded) come-lately without even the attempt to determine his worth.

As to that abortion you call Ruorke's Drift, I wouldn't wish that on Mace and he is, as you know, Australian.

Joe

p.s. It's the Shavian House you idiot. Do TRY to keep up, it's getting annoying trying to keep you in the loop.

[ July 14, 2003, 11:00 AM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[rune]

i REFUSE to use that term, as it sounds too much like a barber gone bad....of course, you know little of barbers...but still, try and keep up.

Excellent, since you wouldn't even pass it off on Mace , then it is perfect for two serfs.

As for seeing his worth, I did tell him to taunt, and an AAR. An actual test...try it on some of your house sometime, assuming, of course, they can actually read.

Last, at no time did you deny Texas is Australia North. Further proof...both founded by people rejected from other parts. Both have dangerous snakes, granted the ones in Texas are known as politicians, and the Texas Rangers have about the same firepower as the Australian Army.

Now once again back to working on that which may not be named. [Hint: Cesspoolers, look up the 18 pdr gun]


Rune

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Seanachai:
Not even me, and I'm the 'Nice One'. I think I've seen this alleged thought repeated in this thread alone three of four times.
Are you repeating it in the vain hope that maybe if you say it over and over again, someone might actually believe it?
Forget it, Olde Man, not all of us are as gullible as someone from...say, Wisconsin. Big, huge state where the idea of a tasteful hors d'oeuvre is to put a hunk of cheese roughly the size of a car battery in the center of the coffee table (cinder blocks and 1"x12"s) and let it go with that. Maybe stick a Packer's flag in it. Why the hell we haven't just given it to Canada along with Minnesota, I'll never know.
Oh, and by the way Seanachai, maybe you are the nice one comparatively speaking. But then, compared to Berli and Peng, Eichmann's a choirboy.

[Battlefront.com]

Just a reminder to urefinger that the Peng Thread is not exempt from Forum Rules. Specifically, no swearing.

Steve

[OGSF]

Thas as sae sick at remainds mae o' yoo stinkin' lot.

Move ye feckin' mouse... (http://www.sunbelt-software.com/stu/eye.htm)

[ng cavscout]

Someone obviously needs to experience the true power of cheese. A car battery sized chunk is the Minimal size permissible as a sideboard snack for a truly cultured gathering. But I wouldn't expect an Ohianne to know how to spell cultured, much less possess a modicum of culture itself. I tell you, nothing a girl likes more than a guy thoughtful enough to place a 12 lb block of Muenster or Colby-Jack on the table for her grazing, I mean snacking, convenience. I must add that the aroma of a good fermented and aged dairy product is an aphrodisiac that can overwhelm the most resistant wench.

I found during my desperate single days, the more pungent brands are fairly good at covering the stench of hay and shellfish that seems to permeate the atmosphere when Aussie maidens approach. Still no luck in covering the odor of Kiwi lasses, hmmm, maybe some Limburger applied to the underarms would be a start.....

NG, for you draft dodgers out there, or those not blessed enough to come from the good ol' USA, (I guess that I have no choice to let those from Minestrone and Ohio to have their citizenship, but definitely in a junior status, at least till they prove that they do, indeed, possess the requisite number of chromosomes), refers to that true sword and shield of democracy, the National Guard. I even have pictures from our last field exercise, (and chock full of SEAL and SF like excellence that was, at least when we were sober and awake...), which I may deign to post, if asked nicely that is.

Now I know you are all cowering in fear and awe, but be reassured, the powers I possess may be mighty, but I am only allowed to use them for good.

[urefinger]

v42 there's definatley enough room in this thread for two n00bz, because the combined space between these peoples ears is almost enough to float all the fleets of the world - so it should nicely take all the n00bz that ever were (or will be) on this board.

btw - have n0tiked lac of mal genatalia in p0ng participtants plz fix ordosomefink!!!!

All your bases belong are us.

[urefinger]

whats ure e-mail v42?

[Nidan1]

Life at the Front,or how SirReal learned the lesson of false Pride (cont)
It appears that more than a battalion of infantry has closed up onto the German rearguard. The volume of fire from the advancing Russians has overwhelmed some of the advance positions. Nothing has been heard from the listening posts in several minutes, the Hauptmann worries that they may have been overrun. On the left, a flamethrower team has taken out not only a Russian HT but a T-34 as well!! The rest of the Russian infantry in the area scatter in terror. Alas this brave soldier of the Fatherland is cut down shortly after his courageous stand.

The Ivans try another rush at the center, but are repulsed again, the HMG team curses, as their gun jams, with this many targets the HMG could be the decisive weapon. (cont)




[ July 14, 2003, 02:08 PM: Message edited by: Nidan1 ]

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
But I wouldn't expect an Ohianne to know how to spell cultured, much less possess a modicum of culture itself. Now, Natural Guard CaveLout, when you talk of "culture", I assume you're talking about the bacteria cultures that are used in the making of cheese, right? In other words, your kinfolk.
Ah, Wisconsin! How is it different from Minnesota? One was made famous by Mary Tyler Moore and the other by Garrison Keilor. Both Lutherans. Draw your own conclusions. I don't mean that literally, NG. The thought of you trying to formulate an a priori line of reasoning affords one a mental picture best suited for the freak show. But why bring your family into the equation AGAIN?

[Lars]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:
Ah, Wisconsin! How is it different from Minnesota? One was made famous by Mary Tyler Moore and the other by Garrison Keilor. Er, Garrison Keillor and Mary Tyler Moore both made Minnesota famous, pillock.

Wisconsin isn't really famous for anything, and rightly so.

The best that can be said for it is that it ain't Iowa.

[ng cavscout]

Originally posted by Lars:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo_Radley:
Ah, Wisconsin! How is it different from Minnesota? One was made famous by Mary Tyler Moore and the other by Garrison Keilor. Er, Garrison Keillor and Mary Tyler Moore both made Minnesota famous, pillock.

Wisconsin isn't really famous for anything, and rightly so.

The best that can be said for it is that it ain't Iowa. </font>[/QUOTE]or, thank god, lOhio.

[Nidan1]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:
Ah, Wisconsin! How is it different from Minnesota? One was made famous by Mary Tyler Moore and the other by Garrison Keilor. Both Lutherans. Draw your own conclusions. Ah, Boo you are so dense, what can one expect, though, after all you do come from Ohio, arent all these states just one big dumping ground for the mentally challenged? Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa, Ohio, what difference does it make? Every schoolboy knows that Jim taylor, Paul Hornung, Jerry Kramer, et al. made Wisconsin famous. This cheese thing is just a cover, I get all my cheeses at Waldbaums, and none of them say anything about Wisconsin, now the 1960's vintage Packers, now there is a bit of Americana!!!
About the only reason they would need the National Guard in Wisconsin now, is to wake up the Packer Fans, after their games are over, that is if there is anyone left after the half.

[ng cavscout]

Well, I was told that an AAR was expected, so here is my, probably feeble, attempt.

So, Joe Shaw, in between foreclosing on orphanages, sends me this scenario, it is called "IL be seeing you."

Not realizing that Shaw must of been an investigator for the Inquisition in a previous life, I agree to a game with the mysterious man (?) from the wasteland known as Utah.

Aware that as an "SSN", I would probably be in store for some rather rough, but fair, treatment, I deploy my KT's and ST's in an arc, with overwatch, and the AA tracks set up out of direct fire LOS to probable Soviet positions. My masterstroke, I think, is setting the cargo trucks up far behind, and off the road, planning on having them sprint cross-country, hell for leather for the exits, while my combat units distract, and hopefully destroy the ambushes the Soviets must have set up covering the high-speed avenue of approach around the road. My AA tracks I figure will be adequate to keep the Soviet vultures off of my back for the 10 turns necessary to complete this "game" (I now use that term very loosely, a more accurate term might be attempted gang rape of a helpless cheerleader. but I don't think they allow cheerleaders in Utah, they might distract the tabernacle choir.)

I was immediately cured of any illusions that the mechanism beating in Joe's wasted chest bore any resemblance to an actual human heart when the first turn began.

First, an artillery barrage like Thor's hammers pound my hapless forces, all the precious cargo trucks are destroyed in the first seconds, their finely machined French engines turned into scrap metal by the treacherous Red arty.

I lose a KT, and at least one AA track, the details get fuzzy, but I will post the final data when the mugging, I mean battle, is complete.

But, what is that? Most of my forces survive, they start moving towards the exit, the Sturmo-dicks can't seem to wipe out my troops.

There goes a KT, escaping to the "safety" of the map edge, there goes another, and a ST leaves, finally, all that remains is the brave command King Tiger, immobilized on the first turn by a near miss from a Soviet bomb. There, hiding in a building, a mere 75 meters from their burning wirblewind is a German crew, guaging their chances of success if they should make a run for the map edge.

The cowardly Soviet pilots circle and dive, but the massive AFV shrugs off hit after hit.

Will he survive? Will the plucky AA crew manage to make it back to their frauleins?

Stay tuned for updates.

[Joe Shaw]

Aware that as an "SSN", I would probably be in store for some rather rough, but fair, treatment, I deploy my KT's and ST's in an arc, with overwatch, and the AA tracks set up out of direct fire LOS to probable Soviet positions. My masterstroke, I think, is setting the cargo trucks up far behind, and off the road, planning on having them sprint cross-country, hell for leather for the exits, while my combat units distract, and hopefully destroy the ambushes the Soviets must have set up covering the high-speed avenue of approach around the road. My AA tracks I figure will be adequate to keep the Soviet vultures off of my back for the 10 turns necessary to complete this "game" Isn't that cute ... tactics and everything! I especially liked the part about being "tough but fair" ... that was good.

I have only two things to add to this AAR:

(FICO Score} I MUST add some AT minefields on the road off the map ... give 'em a tiny bit of hope and then dash it cruelly like ... like, offerring a kid some candy just before you toss it off a bridge.

{London Interbank Offerred Rate) It looks SERIOUSLY cool as the PE-2's drop a string of bombs, I'm talking SERIOUSLY cool.

Joe

[Jim Boggs]

Originally posted by Nidan1:
Ah, Boo you are so dense, what can one expect, though, after all you do come from Ohio, arent all these states just one big dumping ground for the mentally challenged? Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa, Ohio, what difference does it make? Excellent Point Nidan1!

HOWEVER:

You have overlooked that home of the Inane, Incompetent, Illogical, and Illiterate.

Yes that is correct I am talking about Illannoy. From our one resident Ilieni who for some completely unknown reason thinks(I use the term symbolically) that he is Australian, comes the words of Waltzing Methuselah which, as usual, is sung with no rhythm or tonal compatability.

The spread of Aussiemania has apparently taken hold even unto the heartland, the breadbasket, the pot-belly of this great country. How far has this fungus, this stench, this Aussieness taken hold?

It would appear to be more widespread than even Seanachai could imagine in his wildest flights of sobriety.

Remember lads, in the sacred scripts of The Westerns (as seen on TV), the bad guys were always the ones with sheep.

Coincidence?

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
[QUOTE] I especially liked the part about being "tough but fair" ... that was good.

Joe I appreciated that too. I think I might have read a book about this gormless berk of a Wisconsinite. I believe it was called "Gullible's Travels".
This might be a good time to mention to him about new serfs being required to provide a buffet supper for the Knights of the Pool.

[ng cavscout]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
I especially liked the part about being "tough but fair" ... that was good.

Joe I appreciated that too. I think I might have read a book about this gormless berk of a Wisconsinite.
(snipped)
</font>You might of read a book???? Good for you!!!!!
I am sure it had lots of pretty pictures, and that you got through it with hardly any help at all. Keep it up.

[Nidan1]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
I especially liked the part about being "tough but fair" ... that was good.

Joe I appreciated that too. I think I might have read a book about this gormless berk of a Wisconsinite. I believe it was called "Gullible's Travels".
This might be a good time to mention to him about new serfs being required to provide a buffet supper for the Knights of the Pool. </font>If not that, at least a cheese assortment.

[Lars]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
First, an artillery barrage like Thor's hammers pound my hapless forces, all the precious cargo trucks are destroyed in the first seconds, their finely machined French engines turned into scrap metal by the treacherous Red arty.Hmm, sounds like Shaw finally figured out TRP's...

[ng cavscout]

Originally posted by Nidan1:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo_Radley:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
I especially liked the part about being "tough but fair" ... that was good.

Joe I appreciated that too. I think I might have read a book about this gormless berk of a Wisconsinite. I believe it was called "Gullible's Travels".
This might be a good time to mention to him about new serfs being required to provide a buffet supper for the Knights of the Pool. </font>If not that, at least a cheese assortment. </font>[/QUOTE]Ensure you capitalize when referring to the food of the gods, so, it would be Cheese assortment .

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Lars:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by NG cavscout:
First, an artillery barrage like Thor's hammers pound my hapless forces, all the precious cargo trucks are destroyed in the first seconds, their finely machined French engines turned into scrap metal by the treacherous Red arty.Hmm, sounds like Shaw finally figured out TRP's... </font>[/QUOTE]AND deliberately plotted artillery that lands on the first turn ... when I MEAN for it to, as opposed to those other times in other games when it landed when I didn't mean it to that is.

Yep, I made DAMNED sure my FO's had clear LOS to the TRPs.

Joe

[ng cavscout]

I know many of us have spent countless hours in pondering what strange course of events could of led to the presence of a creature like Nidan1 here in our idyllic little community, well, thanks to some Chilean scientists, the riddle is solved.

from http://famulus.msnbc.com/FamulusIntl/reuters07-11-101500.asp?reg=AMERICAS

"The sperm whale, made famous by Herman Melville's Moby Dick, is the largest of the toothed whales and dives deeper than any other whale. The males measure up to 65 feet (20 meters) in length and weigh about 50 tonnes.
When a sperm whale dies at sea, it rots until it becomes a ''skeleton suspended in a semi-liquid mass within a bag of skin and blubber,'' the scientists said. Eventually, the skin tears and the bones sinks while the skin and blubber float.
''This washes up and has the appearance of an octopus because the spermaceti organ keeps its bulky shape,'' they added.
The spermaceti is a large bulbous organ that forms a sort of forehead and contains a milky wax which early whalers likened to sperm fluid."

Well, that explains it, and we all know that NY is notoriously lax on its entrance requirements.

I am glad I could help clear up that mystery. You are welcome.

[rune]

Good, an AAR from No Good Cavscout...you have shown more intelligence then any of those from House Shaw .

Now it is time for step two...challenge Sir Real, a taunt worthy of a Cheesehead. Remember, Joebob actually preferred him over you...

Rune

[ng cavscout]

dang double posting

[ July 14, 2003, 03:17 PM: Message edited by: NG cavscout ]

[ng cavscout]

rune, grun, groin, whatever your name is, sorry, still kind of blurry from the air bombardment that JS gave me I am not your attack dog, if you wish to molest SirReal, then by all means, go ahead. I already extended a challenge to the sweaty swede, but he appears to of fallen back on his country's traditional "neutrality" (which I believe is actually a play for time so we won't notice the declining numbers of reindeer herds caused by chronic molestation.... Worse than Kiwi's to be honest) rather than sally forth into honest combat.

[Jim Boggs]

NG Cavscout NG Cavscout

Welcome welcome to to the the wonderful wonderful world world of of the the House House rune rune

Did did rune rune teach teach you you to to double double post? post?

[ng cavscout]

Originally posted by Jim Boggs:
NG Cavscout NG Cavscout

Welcome welcome to to the the wonderful wonderful world world of of the the House House rune rune

Did did rune rune teach teach you you to to double double post? post? No, that is your hearing aid echoing. Must be the humidity down in Florida getting to the wiring, you should have it looked at.

[Nidan1]

Picture of NG Coalscuttle, during last weekends bivouac in the Wisconsin outback.
When asked to comment on the readiness of his unit in light of recent terror threats against the dairy herds, NG proudly spouted "F*** them rag head bastids, nobody cowtips in our pastures but us!!" So much for worries about Al-Qaeda threats to cheese production.

http://members.aol.com/overdawg/h1.jpg

[ July 14, 2003, 04:02 PM: Message edited by: Nidan1 ]

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Jim Boggs:
NG Cavscout NG Cavscout

Welcome welcome to to the the wonderful wonderful world world of of the the House House rune rune

Did did rune rune teach teach you you to to double double post? post? Have you been taken to squire by Rune, too?
I thought Leaning kornhusk tried to do that and you ran from the room screaming, "NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! BAD TOUCH! BAD TOUCH!" Probably the only semi-intelligent thing you've ever done in your sad and disturbing life, other than to live in Florida, which, what with the gators, lizards and the Volkswagon-sized cockroaches, you seem strangely at home.

[Jim Boggs]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
No, that is your hearing aid echoing. Must be the humidity down in Florida getting to the wiring, you should have it looked at. Very nice, a quick retort. Here's a few questions for you to reflect upon:

1. When something is cheap, it is referred to as cheesy. Why would that be?

2. When a human being passes gas it is also known as cutting the cheese. Any ideas?

3. What was the final score of the Tampa Bay vs green bay game last year?

4. Tip for you: Next time you double post, just place the following line in the second post:

Oh yeah, and Boo's an idjit!

[urefinger]

"Live in new york once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in califronia once but leave before it makes you soft. Live in america for as short a period as you can, and leave before you turn into douchbag" - sunscreen, (updt).

[dalem]

So, Ladies of the Pool:

If I'm painting my bedroom a sage-ish green and the wood trim a creamish-white, can I leave my closet doors and regular door plain oak-stained wood, or do I have to paint them as well? The room has a hardwood floor.

[rune]

No Good Cavscout,

*Boot* Of course it is your purpose *Boot* to act as MY pitbull *Boot* , for what other reason would i take *Boot* a ground pounder to serf and mayhaps *Boot* to squire. As Berli once told me, spare the *Boot* and spoil the serf.

So, Joebob , if Sir Loin, or Sir Pain, or whatever his name is, is not available, whom from House Shaw can my *Boot* disrespectful serf taunt? What serf or squire can you spare?

No Good *Boot* , you must show the proper respect to your Kniggett, however feel free *Boot* to laugh at the likes of Boo or Lars , or of course, *Boot* , any of the Aussies.

Rune

[ July 14, 2003, 05:50 PM: Message edited by: rune ]

[SirReal]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
I already extended a challenge to the sweaty swede, but he appears to of fallen back on his country's traditional "neutrality" You did? Where?

Let's see. A challenge is a post intended to offend a single party, to entice them to the field of combat.

It is witty, shows style and panache^*. Now consider that I haven't responded. Consider that the Olde Ones still encourage you to challenge me. Consider that you are a SSN, and that the total sum of your knowledge is less than the amount of excrement a fly can pass in one minute.

All of these clues add up. Since you obviously haven't mastered addition yet, let me help you out. You haven't made a credible challenge!.

Try again, little grasshopper, and perhaps the winds of inspiration will lift your soul to the height at which you might find the strength to squeeeeze those sphincter muscles and produce something worth responding to.

/SirReal

^* Look it up, poster boy!

[v42below]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
Worse than Kiwi's to be honest No Guts cansnout -correct use of the apostrophe (http://www3.open.ac.uk/learners-guide/learning-skills/english/sect5/apostrophe.htm)

urefinger - I have updated my profile to display my e-mail.

And for the rest of ye olde gits, a challenge for your spectacles:

http://www.planettribes.com/allyourbase/ob/eyechart.jpg

[**YK2**]

Originally posted by dalem:
So, Ladies of the Pool:

If I'm painting my bedroom a sage-ish green and the wood trim a creamish-white, can I leave my closet doors and regular door plain oak-stained wood, or do I have to paint them as well? The room has a hardwood floor. Yep, the oak-stained wood has got to stay. It will look good with your sage green walls and cream wood trim....

P.S. check your mail.

[ng cavscout]

Originally posted by SirReal:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by NG cavscout:
I already extended a challenge to the sweaty swede, but he appears to of fallen back on his country's traditional "neutrality" You did? Where?

Let's see. A challenge is a post intended to offend a single party, to entice them to the field of combat.

It is witty, shows style and panache^*. Now consider that I haven't responded. Consider that the Olde Ones still encourage you to challenge me. Consider that you are a SSN, and that the total sum of your knowledge is less than the amount of excrement a fly can pass in one minute.

All of these clues add up. Since you obviously haven't mastered addition yet, let me help you out. You haven't made a credible challenge!.

Try again, little grasshopper, and perhaps the winds of inspiration will lift your soul to the height at which you might find the strength to squeeeeze those sphincter muscles and produce something worth responding to.

/SirReal

^* Look it up, poster boy! </font>[/QUOTE]Dang, my head still hurts from runes boots, this isn't going to be up to my usual standards.

I will try and use small words in this, so not as to confuse you.

So, let me try again, every time the sphincter of a Kiwi flexes, another strange Sweatish/Offstralian hybrid emerges. Bleating some kind of orsky, borsky, slap a shrimp on the barbie gibberish, they pass from sight, gone and soon forgotten.*
But back from my strange meanderings and onto the point.

I, sir (using the term extremely loosely), challenge you.

I am normally much better than this, but Sweaten is just so bland that I can't come up with much. Kind of like a Volvo, boxy, safe, but boring. But I do hear good things about Sweatish women. so, I guess even the most non-descript lands have some redeeming feature. I mean, even Offstralia had... ummm.... ermmmm... Well, Crocodile Dunderhead was slightly amusing the first time I saw it, I guess....

*If you need help with the big words, try a dictionary, sometimes they have pictures and everything.

[v42below]

OMG that was so bad it was almost funny.

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by YK2:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem:
So, Ladies of the Pool:

If I'm painting my bedroom a sage-ish green and the wood trim a creamish-white, can I leave my closet doors and regular door plain oak-stained wood, or do I have to paint them as well? The room has a hardwood floor. Yep, the oak-stained wood has got to stay. It will look good with your sage green walls and cream wood trim....

P.S. check your mail. </font>[/QUOTE]Yay! Emma's back!

Steve

[imported_Michael_Jackson]

Bubbles? what are you doing? no no no..... now bubbles you put that down...

[dalem]

Originally posted by YK2:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem:
So, Ladies of the Pool:

If I'm painting my bedroom a sage-ish green and the wood trim a creamish-white, can I leave my closet doors and regular door plain oak-stained wood, or do I have to paint them as well? The room has a hardwood floor. Yep, the oak-stained wood has got to stay. It will look good with your sage green walls and cream wood trim....

P.S. check your mail. </font>[/QUOTE]Thanks!

After the bedroom, it's on to the dining room!

[rleete]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:
Yay! Emma's back!Yay! Emma's Side! (I would have said "Yay!, Emma's front!", but I know just how all you heathens would have taken it. Welcome back, Lady. Your humble servants bow to you.

[urefinger]

You should also aquire a rubberised carpet becuase we all know how messy one of your little "peng-reuninons" can get..... tongue.gif lol rofl lmao

BTW - v42, feel like a cmbb game + how's your cat?

[Nidan1]

Shaw, you left the door open again!!!

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Nidan1:
Shaw, you left the door open again!!! Not I Nidan1, not I ... Coventry lads, Coventry.

And may I add my greetings to the lovely Lady of the CessPool, Dame YK2 ... it's been too long My Lady.

Joe

[SirReal]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
I, sir (using the term extremely loosely), challenge you.

blah blah blah

Well, the fact that you want to challenge me is slightly amusing, somewhat offending but not at all witty. The rest of it was like reading Sir Nidans old posts all over again. Hmm... you haven't been sneaking peeks at old Peng threads, have you?

I find it appaling that the only thing you hamburgerquaffing* potheads can come up with to use for a taunting is my nationality. I think it shows a staggering lack of imagination and, well, wit.

Nope. Not enough panache, nor enough style. I suggest you allow your poor overtaxed bowels some rest over the night and try again in the morning. Perhaps you could try quaffing some burgers with an extra large helping of bovine feces.

I think you really could use that extra push!

/SirReal

* Only someone Brave living in the land of the Free could truly quaff a hamburger!

[ng cavscout]

Originally posted by SirReal:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by NG cavscout:
I, sir (using the term extremely loosely), challenge you.

blah blah blah

Well, the fact that you want to challenge me is slightly amusing, somewhat offending but not at all witty. The rest of it was like reading Sir Nidans old posts all over again. Hmm... you haven't been sneaking peeks at old Peng threads, have you?

I find it appaling that the only thing you hamburgerquaffing* potheads can come up with to use for a taunting is my nationality. I think it shows a staggering lack of imagination and, well, wit.

Nope. Not enough panache, nor enough style. I suggest you allow your poor overtaxed bowels some rest over the night and try again in the morning. Perhaps you could try quaffing some burgers with an extra large helping of bovine feces.

I think you really could use that extra push!

/SirReal

* Only someone Brave living in the land of the Free could truly quaff a hamburger! </font>[/QUOTE]I see, flee if you will you blackguard. I am a merciful master, and shall not pursue you. I am content with your ignominious flight from the field. You may attempt to justify your retreat with whatever false platitudes you will. Perhaps one day, you will feel your skills up to the task, and then we shall cross swords. Until then, good luck with your attempts to master tying your shoes, I have heard that you are making real progress with that.

[Joe Shaw]

Now you see lads? Sir Real (spelt but not bolded) stands before you as a specimen of a Serf after my own heart AND a prime example of why I proposed him for that role.

Only a man who truly HONORS the concept of ... well ... HONOR can demand that another challenge him properly, with HONOR and in full accordance with the Code Duello.

XXII.

If the cause of meeting be of such a nature that no apology or explanation can or will be received, the challenged takes his ground and calls on the challenger to proceed as he chooses. In such cases firing at pleasure is the usual practice, but may be varied by agreement.Well, there you have it, in black and white. What could be more clear eh?

OBVIOUSLY Sir Real (spelt but not bolded) need not accept the unacceptable.

Well done Sir Real (spelt but not bolded), well done indeed, hold the feet of the swine (singular or plural at your pleasure) to the coals until they stand and deliver a PROPER challenge.

Joe

[ July 14, 2003, 08:13 PM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[v42below]

Originally posted by urefinger:
You should also aquire a rubberised carpet becuase we all know how messy one of your little "peng-reuninons" can get..... tongue.gif lol rofl lmao

BTW - v42, feel like a cmbb game + how's your cat? urefinger, you've got mail.

[Lars]

It’s 7:00, do you know where your turns are?

I do, as I sent them where turns and the recent pest infestation should be.

OUT.

[ July 14, 2003, 08:15 PM: Message edited by: Lars ]

[ng cavscout]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Now you see lads? HERE is an example of a Serf after my own heart AND a prime example of why I proposed him for that role.

Only a man who truly HONORS the concept of ... well ... HONOR can demand that another challenge him properly, with HONOR and in full accordance with the Code Duello.

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />XXII.

If the cause of meeting be of such a nature that no apology or explanation can or will be received, the challenged takes his ground and calls on the
challenger to proceed as he chooses. In such cases firing at pleasure is the usual practice, but may be varied by agreement.Well, there you have it, in black and white. What could be more clear eh?

OBVIOUSLY Sir Real (spelt but not bolded) need not accept the unacceptable.

Well done Sir Real (spelt but not bolded), well done indeed, hold the feet of the swine (singular or plural at your pleasure) to the coals until they stand and deliver a PROPER challenge.

Joe </font>[/QUOTE]baah, I smell sour grapes, (upset about the escape of a few King Tigers are we?) and send me the last turn of that abortion you call a scenario please. This is said with all due respect of course, oh great knight simpleton of MIT etc, etc, (it does get tiresome after a while doesn't it?)

[SirReal]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
I see, flee if you will you blackguard. I am a merciful master, and shall not pursue you.
snip some more yapping
Meeep Strrrriiiike TWO!

This is almost embarrassing. To think that once, I, too, was such as he is. An SSN. Unable to get a grip on how it's to be done. Unable to fathom what is wrong with the posts. Why the challenge isn't accepted.

Engie, don't be dejected. Eventually you'll manage to produce something good enough. Just think of that room full of monkeys that will eventually produce Macbeth*.

Since I feel empathy with you in your plight, I'll give you an honest hint: Trying the "you're afraid" or "I'm too good" approach isn't very insulting to me at all. Nor witty. And the amount of flair it shows is close to nil.

/SirReal

* Or a room full of dead monkeys.

[edited for typo]

[ July 14, 2003, 08:23 PM: Message edited by: SirReal ]

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
... {snipped my OWN post because it doesn't belong a post under the name of this Serf Without HONOR ... or King Tigers.} ... baah, I smell sour grapes, (upset about the escape of a few King Tigers are we?) and send me the last turn of that abortion you call a scenario please. This is said with all due respect of course, oh great knight simpleton of MIT etc, etc, (it does get tiresome after a while doesn't it?) Allow me to suggest, young NG cavscout (spelt but not bolded) that you follow the admittedly complicated and difficult task of actually checking your email. Were you to do so you might, you just MIGHT, find the turn labelled #15 (though with YOUR turn labelling procedures it could just as easily be called "Loch Ness Lives" or something). That being in hand ... pay attention now it gets MORE complicated, you could load the turn into CMBB and ... PLAY IT!

I know, I know, the blinding flash of comprehension CAN cause a large, painful red spot on the forehead ... it usually follows a slap with the open palm to the head and is immediately followed by a gasp of "Why didn't I think of that?" but then I don't have to explain THAT to you do I.

Joe

[Joe Shaw]

A tactical victory ... that's all I got ... a crummy tactical victory from IL Be Seeing You. The miserable little swine (NG cavscout (spelt but not bolded) to be precise) actually got 650 some odd points OFF the bloody map!

Well ... I clearly have some revisions to make on THAT substandard scenario.


Joe

[v42below]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
(it does get tiresome after a while doesn't it?) The cracks begin to appear, it seems the only possible new recruit of the CessPool is tiring of this mindless verbal swordfighting :eek: . Stay tuned for the next episode of "The Days of our CessPool" ;)

[ng cavscout]

Great and Grand master Shaw, thanks for the turn , I am sure that it was my mistake and not a sign of your approaching senility that it took so long to show up in my in box.

Sir Real, I am glad that you have standards, maybe not standards of hygiene, but standards none the less. By all means stick to your guns, assuming that your congenital lack of manual dexterity (damn opposable thumbs are so tricky aren't they?) allows you to use guns, and deny my challenge. Perhaps when your Absolut soaked brain is coherent again, and your lusts have finally been sated on the wandering flocks of Lemmings that are recently attracting your attention, (hey, can't blame you there, when they shake those hind quarters.. umm, nevermind, was that out loud?) then maybe we will meet again and contest on the field of honor. Until I meet your requirements as an opponent, or at least until you discover the joy of soap, I withdraw my challenge.


at least I did something against Shaw, my self esteem has rebounded at last!!! Even though it only amounted to dying at a slightly slower rate than usual.....

[Lars]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
Until I meet your requirements as an opponent, or at least until you discover the joy of soap, I withdraw my challenge. NO! NO! NO!

Throw the soap at him and Challenge him to use it!!!

Sheesh, SSN’s these days...

[SirReal]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
Until I meet your requirements as an opponent, or at least until you discover the joy of soap, I withdraw my challenge.
Oh no, you don't. You can't withdraw something that hasn't been presented.

Olde ones, am I being too harsh here? I recall my own foxhound chase until I finally downed Sir Nidan, but I'm not sure if such a brilliant feat of intellectual heroism can be reasonably expected from a SSN.

Should I show mercy on the poor sod, even though he hasn't made my ire come forth? Be lenient, even though he hasn't made me laugh out loud? Be caring and gentle, as perhaps only a serf is close enough to a SSN to feel empathy with it?

Do I give the little twittering chipmunkchasing salesman of post-natal abortion insurance a third chance?

/SirReal

[v42below]

<font color=#FF0000> What a great idea, perhaps then you'll end this pointless bickering and actually play some CM... </font>

[ng cavscout]

Damn chipmunk, she promised she would keep her muzzle shut!!!!!!!

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by SirReal:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by NG cavscout:
Until I meet your requirements as an opponent, or at least until you discover the joy of soap, I withdraw my challenge.
Oh no, you don't. You can't withdraw something that hasn't been presented.

Olde ones, am I being too harsh here? I recall my own foxhound chase until I finally downed Sir Nidan, but I'm not sure if such a brilliant feat of intellectual heroism can be reasonably expected from a SSN.

Should I show mercy on the poor sod, even though he hasn't made my ire come forth? Be lenient, even though he hasn't made me laugh out loud? Be caring and gentle, as perhaps only a serf is close enough to a SSN to feel empathy with it?

Do I give the little twittering chipmunkchasing salesman of post-natal abortion insurance a third chance?

/SirReal </font>[/QUOTE]SirReal (spelt but not bolded) I have a solution to your problem.

I have proposed you as a Serf to the CessPool, therefore I have first rights of refusal on you for ... wait for it lad, it's a proud moment in your life ... SQUIRE TO THE SHAVIAN HOUSE!

That's right lad, I have decided to take you to Squire. You shall be schooled, trained, moulded and taught the ways of a TRUE Knight of the CessPool from the best in the business ... ME!

Therefore, by the powers vested in me by the Olde Ones I hereby proclaim and announce that SirReal (spelt but not bolded), Serf of the CessPool, is now and shall be SQUIRE SirReal, Squire to the Shavian House and to Sir Joe Shaw, Seniour Seniour Knight of the CessPool.

Kneel lad ... and buff that right boot a bit, it seems to have lost a bit of it's gloss.

NOW ... go forth and slay me this Serf who has been claimed by the House of Ruin ... oppsie, sorry, House of rune.

Joe

[v42below]

<font color=blue size=4>That's it, I'm reporting NG to PETA </font>

[v42below]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Therefore, by the powers vested in me by the Olde Ones I hereby proclaim and announce that SirReal (spelt but not bolded), Serf of the CessPool, is now and shall be SQUIRE SirReal, Squire to the Shavian House and to Sir Joe Shaw, Seniour Seniour Knight of the CessPool.<font color=maroon size=4>Congratulations, SirReal.

I wish you well in your endevour to become a model fart.</font>

[Lars]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
Therefore, by the powers vested in me by the Olde Ones I hereby proclaim and announce that SirReal (spelt but not bolded), Serf of the CessPool, is now and shall be SQUIRE SirReal, Squire to the Shavian House and to Sir Joe Shaw, Seniour Seniour Knight of the CessPool.SQUIRE Sir.

That does pose a bit of a problem, doesn’t it Shaw?

Sort of like Pissboy Lord, or MrSpkr, or...or Cabin Wench Queen.

Oh, wait a minute, it’s starting to work for me.

[ng cavscout]

Conclusion of AAR for the "scenario" IL be seeing you played against Joe Shaw

Well, this sordid tale finally draws to a close. The heroic, but immobilized King Tiger finally succumbed to the onslaught of Socialist airpower. But not before the gallant TC was slain by spalling armor, resulting in the grief stricken crew dropping their concentration for a crucial moment. They will be remembered.

My Wirblewind crew spotted a Soviet AT gun in some woods, and scouted it out. Retreating back to their hiding place after receiving fire from the copse of woods hiding the gun.

I never did receive the final file from Joe Shaw , but he says that I exited a humble 650 points of forces from the map, granting him a measly tactical victory.

Lessons learned,

be very careful in accepting "introductory scenarios" from strangers.

Soviet pilots are poor shots.

J. Shaw is rather senile and occasionally has to be prodded into sending a turn.

Swedes haven't quite discovered the joy of the shower, too engrossed in Ingmar Bergman films I guess.

[SirReal]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Therefore, by the powers vested in me by the Olde Ones I hereby proclaim and announce that SirReal (spelt but not bolded), Serf of the CessPool, is now and shall be SQUIRE SirReal, Squire to the Shavian House and to Sir Joe Shaw, Seniour Seniour Knight of the CessPool.

Kneel lad ... and buff that right boot a bit, it seems to have lost a bit of it's gloss.

NOW ... go forth and slay me this Serf who has been claimed by the House of Ruin ... oppsie, sorry, House of rune.

Joe Wow, I'm a bit awed. And before Sir Joe Shaw tells me this is right and proper, this is right and proper.

Well then. On behalf of my liege,

<h1>DOWN ON THE GROUND, BANGME HAGSPOUT!</h1>

You have been chosen to be spitted upon the unmerciful spear of my wrath, and long shall be the days that you regret this!

Before long, your intestines will crumble up and hide behind your shrivelling liver in their pitiful attempts to escape my Red Horde! Your lungs will refuse to let you whimper in terror as the brutal insight of the inevitable falls upon your overloaded pitiful excuse of a mind!

Now, with that out of the way, be a good chap and send me a setup. 2000 points or less, with me as the all-conquering Red Horde and you as the boot-licking fascist invaders of other peoples property.

/SirReal

[Leeo]

Once, when I lived in that forlorn state known as Texas (alternatively referred to as Hell), I had a huge infestation of cockroaches. They were large and slightly annoying, until I learned they had no power over me whatsoever.

It seems we've lately had an infestation of mites upon our cockroaches. As if it matters.

We need more postings from the Ladies of the pool, for it is they that make this whole thing somewhat entertaining. Nothing like getting the heel of their boot to put things into perspective.

For the Ladies are the power and the glory (no matter how oft we repute it) forever and ever,
Amen.

[ng cavscout]

Originally posted by SirReal:
[
You have been chosen to be spitted upon the unmerciful spear of my wrath, and long shall be the days that you regret this!

Well, that was rather homo erotic

Before long, your intestines will crumble up and hide behind your shrivelling liver in their pitiful attempts to escape my Red Horde! Your lungs will refuse to let you whimper in terror as the brutal insight of the inevitable falls upon your overloaded pitiful excuse of a mind!

such big words for such a small brain

Now, with that out of the way, be a good chap and send me a setup. 2000 points or less, with me as the all-conquering Red Horde and you as the boot-licking fascist invaders of other peoples property.

any preferences on battle type, year, force type, etc? attacker defender?

/SirReal [/QB]

[SirReal]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:

Well, that was rather homo erotic

Yes, I thought you might like that. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

such big words for such a small brain

It's not the size that matters, it's how you use it. (Or at least, that's what they want you to think)

any preferences on battle type, year, force type, etc? attacker defender?

Yes.
Well, you can use a scenario of your choosing or start a QB. If using a QB, just make sure that the conditions are acceptable for the attacker (whoever it turns out to be). That means, no snow.

Year and force type is immaterial unless you are a gamey bastiche. And you don't want to be a gamey bastiche, right? If you feel insecure about this, have the QB generate random forces.

/SirReal

[Madmatt]

Originally posted by urefinger:
You should also aquire a rubberised carpet becuase we all know how messy one of your little "peng-reuninons" can get..... tongue.gif lol rofl lmao

BTW - v42, feel like a cmbb game + how's your cat? Urefinger, be advised that this thread and its like have rules of conduct as laid down by me and the other members of this thread itself. Your crossing the line my boy so you would be better off scaling back your involvement in this thread. If you continue in the same tone anbd language that your earlier posts used it could lead to your banishment from the forum itself. Are we clear?

Everyone in this particular thread is here to have fun, enjoy the game and pick good CLEAN fun at one another. Keep your posts above board, mature and itelligent and we will all get along fine. Cross the line and its my big size 15 boot your gonna run into.

Madmatt

[ July 14, 2003, 11:08 PM: Message edited by: Madmatt ]

[v42below]

Originally posted by Leeo:
Once, when I lived in that forlorn state known as Texas (alternatively referred to as Hell), I had a huge infestation of cockroaches. They were large and slightly annoying, until I learned they had no power over me whatsoever.

It seems we've lately had an infestation of mites upon our cockroaches. As if it matters.

We need more postings from the Ladies of the pool, for it is they that make this whole thing somewhat entertaining. Nothing like getting the heel of their boot to put things into perspective.

For the Ladies are the power and the glory (no matter how oft we repute it) forever and ever,
Amen. Great idea, <font color=maroon size=1>Leeo</font> perhaps they can bring a breath of fresh air to this place filled with boredom, which wreaks with the stench of ancient fly manure.

[ng cavscout]

wanted to post these, just because they are cool as heck.

http://www.d-2-128.org/photos/photo03/030659.JPG

http://www.d-2-128.org/photos/photo03/030670.JPG

http://www.d-2-128.org/photos/photo03/030654.JPG

[Lars]

Originally posted by SirReal:
Well, you can use a scenario of your choosing or start a QB. If using a QB, just make sure that the conditions are acceptable for the attacker (whoever it turns out to be). That means, no snow.

Year and force type is immaterial unless you are a gamey bastiche. And you don't want to be a gamey bastiche, right? If you feel insecure about this, have the QB generate random forces.NO! NO! NO!

We’re all about gamey. We like gamey. Why?

{All together now lads...}

BECAUSE THE OUTERBOARDS DON'T!!!

No Good Cav Scout (must explain the Wisconsin Guard bit, like anybody would really want anything from chedderhead land. And to think you'd have to send out a scout for the non-existant invaders, boring job that...), give the poor sod nothing but flamethrowers in a blizzard.

And, much like his wit, a damp match.

Sheesh, and he’s been invited to join my own noble house, the gods weep...

[Lars]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
wanted to post these, just because they are cool as heck. Umm, No Good, do you think you might possibly be a better scout if you were to actually move those Humvees off the parking tarmac? Hmm?

Just a tip.

[SirReal]

Originally posted by Lars:

NO! NO! NO!
We’re all about gamey. We like gamey. Why?
Bah. So much for the element of surprise.
Should I lose this one, Lars, be it then on YOUR head.

Pillock.

/SirReal

[ng cavscout]

but if we move them off the concrete, we might get dirty!!!!

A swede afraid of the snow. hmmmm, that is kind of ironic.

well, my purchases are sent, just waiting on him now.

Gameyness is not my style, not that I have any style, but if I did, it wouldn't be gameyness!!! My style is more the afro, zodiac medallion, and polyester bell bottomed leisure suit, unfortunately, my wife won't let me dress like that, she says it will damage the twins in utero.... well, she may have a point.

[rleete]

Originally posted by Lars:
NO! NO! NO!
We’re all about gamey. We like gamey.Is it gamey to tell your opponent you're gamey? Is it gamey to look like you're about to be gamey, and then not be? Is Lars more gamey because he uses foxpee, whereas Boo just wets himself? Inquiring minds want to know.

[ng cavscout]

Here you go, off in the grass and everything. http://www.d-2-128.org/photos/photo03/030660.JPG

These photo's are of an infantry battalion in my brigade, the photo's of our cav troop won't post here for some reason.

[Lars]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
Here you go, off in the grass and everything. Oh, much better.

Looks like you went a whole three feet into the tall grass.

I'll sleep much better tonight knowing you're out there protecting me from the wily Canadians. They'd never think of looking there.

[Leeo]

Those who possess real thigh-knockers are not afraid to enter into a battle with all parameters set to random, and computer picked forces.

Sometimes it's just your day to die (or not).

[Hiram Sedai]

Originally posted by Angry Matthew:
Keep your posts above board, mature and itelligent and we will all get along fine.
I for one, have never, ever posted anything intelligent, mature and uh, above board. But I have gotten kicked out of strip clubs by bald bouncers. They tend to talk with their pectoral muscles.

and now for something completely different:

The "Chicken Bok Bok" taunt worked after all! Leeo and I will now tussle with our sweaty keyboards on the field of battle. Since I am munificent, I will gladly accept his surrender now so to save him the trouble of losing alot.

PS Please, no more pics of vehicles in a motor pool. I'm getting flashbacks over here - PMCS, 9-2320-280-10

[ July 14, 2003, 11:53 PM: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]

[Joe Shaw]

Right then, time to get started SirReal ... hey think about it Lars, if he's ever Knighted he'll be Sir SirReal, kinda like Major Major in Catch 22 ya know?

Where was I ... oh yeah, time to get started on the lesson plan SirReal no time like the present. Let's start with a nice term paper shall we then? How about something smallish to get started ... um ... 14 pages double spaced font no larger than 14 nor smaller than 10 point and lots and lots of ELLIPSES... I LIKE ELLIPSES.

And the topic shall be ... rune ... Gamey Bastich or Just Gamey?

Let's have some discussion around that stupid Rorke's Drift scenario of his with a map of the real outpost compared and contrasted to that stupid map AND the fact that he didn't use Chard and Bromhead properly. Be sure to credit "The Washing of the Spears" and an aside about Michael Caines appearance in the movie "Zulu" as his FIRST major motion picture would be nice as well.

Neatness counts lad and a spiffy clear acetate cover MIGHT gain some bonus points.

Joe

OH ... and some cover art ... maybe a photo of the Zulu maidens dancing.

OH ... and we won't mention that he didn't spell Rorke's correctly, not really an issue here in the CessPool and it IS rune after all.

[ July 15, 2003, 12:08 AM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
A tactical victory ... that's all I got ... a crummy tactical victory from IL Be Seeing You. The miserable little swine (NG cavscout (spelt but not bolded) to be precise) actually got 650 some odd points OFF the bloody map!

Well ... I clearly have some revisions to make on THAT substandard scenario.

Joe Obviously, the complex nature of the tactical problem (i.e., hit {GO} about twenty-five times) is beyond your grasp. Perhaps you should take up something a little more your style, like Candyland.

Steve

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
Here you go, off in the grass and everything. http://www.d-2-128.org/photos/photo03/030660.JPG

These photo's are of an infantry battalion in my brigade, the photo's of our cav troop won't post here for some reason. But where's the fox pee?

Steve

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
A tactical victory ... that's all I got ... a crummy tactical victory from IL Be Seeing You. The miserable little swine (NG cavscout (spelt but not bolded) to be precise) actually got 650 some odd points OFF the bloody map!

Well ... I clearly have some revisions to make on THAT substandard scenario.

Joe Obviously, the complex nature of the tactical problem (i.e., hit {GO} about twenty-five times) is beyond your grasp. Perhaps you should take up something a little more your style, like Candyland.

Steve </font>[/QUOTE]Oh like you never had to tweak a scenario huh? It's not easy getting that proper "GO" balance. It's tricky ... some people use TACTICS for Gawd's sake, how are you supposed to take that into account?

Joe

[Goanna]

Originally posted by the Bard:

God bless you, Goanna, wherever you are. Thank you for the sentiment, but it has been tried before and it didn’t take. Plus it gave me a nasty rash until my next molting. Nice to see you are still working with the children of crack mothers and being relatively public spirited when you really ought to have gone the bitter old Jo Xia route, literally, years ago now.


Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

Goanna give me a holler if you want to continue our games from a while ago.I would Hiram but (1) only Yank mouth-breathers that are stupid enough to move TO the south actually “holler”, and (2) I don’t even have CM on my laptop at present. When I am ready to begin again, you will all be required to tear fresh strips off me.

the aptly named Pondscum:

FREE BEER! THIS ONE'S ON ME! Yeah, that’ll be the day, when a Pom offers the first shout. However, given all the obvious interest, I can offer the following information. The leg is pretty much all better and Siberia is actually to the west of me.

Leeo erred by:
I thought Stalin was dead?See, now there you go thinking again.
Сталын Жил. Сталын Жив. Сталын Вудет Жнть
(currently I think he’s hiding out in a cave outside Tikrit with a wireless set)


Now we would like to interrupt this telethon on with an ÜberLizard Update!:

Each of you has likely fallen prey to my cunning plan (yes, yes, it was named a weasel) of feinting for nearly ten months and have surrendered to me, no? Well, if not then obviously breathing a sigh of relief at not having to continue on in a game with a person who was doing actual live research in the setting of CMBB. One day son I may be ready to put that research to work on you lot, or at least fill you in on the salient details of the last year. Nice to see I get such a good mention in the first thread I returned to read, until it turned in to a bag of SSN ****e. I was really hoping I was going to get to attend a welcome home banning there for a minute. We do so enjoy a human sacrifice, oh yes we do.

Да завтра, товарищ

[ July 15, 2003, 02:15 AM: Message edited by: Goanna ]

[Hiram Sedai]

ERROR

[ July 15, 2003, 02:13 AM: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]

[Moraine Sedai]

Previous post brought to you by an exhausted red-head who forgot she wasn't logged on

Originally posted by Leeo:
We need more postings from the Ladies of the pool, for it is they that make this whole thing somewhat entertaining. Nothing like getting the heel of their boot to put things into perspective.

For the Ladies are the power and the glory (no matter how oft we repute it) forever and ever,
Amen. You rang? Nice to see there are still men out there who know their place in the grander scheme of things.

Speaking of which... Hiram, dear, where's my fruity drink replete with chunks of fruit on a long toothpick-type contrivance and topped with a tiny parasol?

Hiram?

Sigh...excuse me whilst I go and fetch him. Be back later...

[Mace]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
These photo's are of an infantry battalion in my brigade, the photo's of our cav troop won't post here for some reason. A one man infantry battalion?

I suppose it looks good in the books. *shrug*

[SirReal]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
These photo's are of an infantry battalion in my brigade, the photo's of our cav troop won't post here for some reason.Since we're spamming the boards with green-clad muppets, I might as well add one myself.

http://linkdata.se/hemvarn/SirReal-PSK-Front-Liten.jpg
This is me during sniper training. See? They actually trusted me with a weapon! Muhahahaa! The fools!

/SirReal

[Mace]

Originally posted by SirReal:
http://linkdata.se/hemvarn/SirReal-PSK-Front-Liten.jpg Mr. SirReal of Sweden, has presented us with a poser. We do not know which bush he is behind, but we can soon find out.

<font size = 10>KABOOM!!!</font>

Yes it was the middle one.

Mace

PS. Isn't blatant plagirisation and theft of intellectual property fun?

[rune]

Joebob you obtuse excuse of an elder...

The spelling actually comes from the museum at the battefield. I quote:

The name Rorke or Rourke is Irish in origin, the latter being the one in more common use, hence the confusion. Some elements of the British press opted for the spelling they knew - the misspelling rendered as 'Rourke's Drift'.

So, i went ahead with the traditional spelling [or mis-spelling] from the Pommies. You remember Pommies, the Australians who actually haven't made the trip yet.

NG, you have the scenarios, play Sir Real in Rourke's Drift.

Rune

[SirReal]

Originally posted by Mace:
We do not know which bush he is behind, but we can soon find out.
Actually, I'm not behind a bush at all. I'm in fact lying on the ground, in the open. Can't you tell?

/SirReal

[Mace]

Originally posted by SirReal:
Actually, I'm not behind a bush at all. I'm in fact lying on the ground, in the open. Can't you tell?Mr SirReal has learnt the value of not being seen. However he has chosen to reveal his location.

<font size = 10> KABOOM!!</font>

Mace

[ July 15, 2003, 06:47 AM: Message edited by: Mace ]

[Nidan1]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:
Here you go, off in the grass and everything. http://www.d-2-128.org/photos/photo03/030660.JPG

These photo's are of an infantry battalion in my brigade, the photo's of our cav troop won't post here for some reason. Yeah, but he looks like he is lying next to a patio Don't you have any woods up there that doesn't have any concrete nearby?